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Rate The Last Movie You Saw


Care for some gopher?
I know a guy who hated it.
What's there to hate?

Shaun of the Dead (GB/F/USA, 2004, Edgar Wright) -
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room."

The Perfect Storm

The Perfect Storm is a perfect example of making a terrible story out of a real event. The core problem of biographical films is when you have uninteresting characters. The Perfect Storm took the next level in what is already a problematic genre - it went from "uninteresting characters" to "unlikable" ones, spinning decent real people into hammy Hollywood heroes and villains that need a contrived reason to argue with each other like little kids. Refer to the complaints given by the real life families of Andrea Gail in regards to the depictions in the film, and you'll see what I mean.

That's where the real problem of this film comes in. It wouldn't have been such a terrible film had it stuck to more mundane dialogues without overblown one-liners like "I always find the fish!" How about focusing on the psychological tensions involving the terrors of drowning, like the book this film was based on? In fact, how about making real people with depths instead of settling with generic Hollywood archetypes? My biggest gripe with the film is how terrible the character development was established at the beginning. The characterization was so formulaic and shallow that all I knew of these characters when they set out to sea were by-the-numbers personalities; the hard-ass captain (George Clooney), the inexperienced new guy with a girlfriend (Mark Wahlberg), the divorced man with emotional baggage (John C. Reilly) so he could have an excuse to duke it out with the jerk with a heart of gold (William Fichtner), and last (and definitely least), Bugsy (John Hawkes) the annoying comic-relief who couldn't get laid, the one I couldn't wait to be killed off. When you've failed to make characters likable or interesting at the beginning of a disaster movie, then you've already failed at making a disaster movie.

As if having terrible main characters isn't enough, this film has Wolfgang's signature of incorporating realistic elements that don't contribute anything significant to the overall narrative, namely the Coast Guard rescue of Mistral (Satori is the real name of that boat). Remember that final scene in Air Force One when the movie could have ended with the Russian terrorist's death, but kept dragging on with a weird zip-line rescue? All of the Coast Guard scenes here in this movie felt as redundant as that one scene in AFO. They took out precious 30-50 minutes of screentime that could have been better used to improve the main characters' cliche personality and made us, oh I don't know, care for them? Is that too much to ask?

Honestly, Diane Lane's unnatural acting is the least of this movie's problems.

(Terrible from start to finish)
Enjoyability: You've gotta be kidding me.

Winchester '73 (1950)

From the top 100 Westerns list, and with an IMDb rating of 7.8, and 100% at Rotten Tomatoes, this is a highly thought of movie. I love Jimmy Stewart, and the first 20 minutes were promising, but I thought the rest of the movie was extremely average.

I thought it was fantastic. I love The Naked Spur and Bend of the River from Mann as well, I can't wait to get to more from him.

You mean me? Kei's cousin?

I abhor most movies from the past 5 years, so this one surprised me.
Look, Dr. Lesh, we don't care about the disturbances, the pounding and the flashing, the screaming, the music. We just want you to find our little girl.

I have to return some videotapes.
You have to be watching the wrong ones, there are a few modern masterpieces that i've seen

The Hunger Games

I abhor most movies from the past 5 years, so this one surprised me.
You abhor most movies from the past 5 years and THIS is the one that surprised you?

I will just abhor your ratings and opinion from now on.

Clash of the Titans

Close your freaking eyes when fighting the Medusa. It's as simple as that. If the characters can't even figure out a simple logic like that, you know the movie is dumb and shouldn't be taken seriously.

Clash of the Titans could have been so much fun. It's got good-looking special effects that would surely get kids interested in Greek mythologies the way Jurassic Park got me into dinosaurs. It's got believable and decent acting by Liam Neeson and Sam Worthington (trust me, those can be hard to find in a dumb movie; just look at some of Wolfgang Petersen's films). There's a promising sub-plot about man's rebellion against the gods. These are obviously not your Disney Greek gods, not even the nicer ones from Percy Jackson.

Unfortunately, that interesting sub-plot was undermined by a trite coming of age adventure involving a poor man's version of that 'Fellowship' band of heroes from a more popular medieval movie (about a ring, if you need further clues). I only remembered Nicholas Hoult as Eusebios among those soldiers because, well, X-Men.

Even though nothing in the movie is as epic as what the actually epic trailer tried to make it look like, I had fun, somewhat. The fight against the Kraken was rather short though (never mind the inaccurate depiction of the monster), and I wish Perseus would remain loyal to mankind and kick Zeus' ass or something. That would have made a more entertaining movie. I mean, really, you have this wonderful character who represents man's rebellion against the gods, and you turn it into a family-friendly ending where father and son reunites with big smiles.

When you say "Clash of the Titans", I was expecting more 'clash' to it, like maybe Kronos giving Prometheus a sock in the face or something. As it is now, you only have maybe one good battle against the scorpions, a semi-good (but totally dumb) battle against Medusa, the Djinn who didn't pull enough rabbits outta their hats for the kids, some lame Stygian Witches who are practically old women, Calibos the Forgettable, and a lackluster Kraken appearance. Not exactly 'titanic', is it?

Note that I have no prior knowledge or allegiance towards the original film this was remade from, so I saw it as a standalone film in terms of its quality.

Enjoyability: (More Greek mythological monsters fighting each other please)

Woody Allen is a pedophille
Mission:Impossible - Rogue Nation

I enjoyed the film and had a fun time watching it. Very good practical effects and stunt work. You can't go wrong with Simon Pegg.

The Big Lebowski

4th Rewatch, this film gets better every time. Every scene is hilarious.

You mean me? Kei's cousin?
The Hunger Games

I abhor most movies from the past 5 years, so this one surprised me.
You abhor most movies from the past 5 years and THIS is the one that surprised you?

I will just abhor your ratings and opinion fro now on.
"You talkin' to me?" I've done *nothing* wrong to you, so know what? *Screw* you.

Jaws (USA, 1975, Steven Spielberg) -
1 popcorn still missing
''Haters are my favourite. I've built an empire with the bricks they've thrown at me... Keep On Hating''
- CM Punk

Hey now, MM's reply was unnecessarily aggressive in my opinion too. If I was a new member I wouldn't want to be told that people abhor my opinions just because they disagree about a film. You can disagree, but be friendly and respectful about it. Even if no harm was intended, you should see how that can be perceived as not exactly welcoming.

Was my reply harsh just because I didn't end my reply with " don't worry just kidding no harm no hate all good"?

I hate how I always have to be so overly polite and clear so I don't get misunderstood in here...

Am I the only one who thought it was silly and ignorant to discard of 5 entire years of filmmaking or what? I personally think that's a weird thing to say. But anyways, I was direct not harsh. Deal with it.

Relax, MM. You're such a fool. don't worry just kidding no harm no hate all good