Honestly, vis a vis Revenge Of The Nerds, I used to love that movie, but with age and times changing, I really struggle with the winking glorification of what is, without question, an outright rape by one of the heroes. I just can't deal with it. When you combine it with the Revenge Porn that also occurs, man, I hate to use the word "troubling" but I just have really distanced myself from the movie. And believe me, I was there back then and it really wasn't that far off from what was really happening, and maybe if it weren't for the rapiest scene in a comedy ever I could shrug off the other stuff, but it's there and I just can't.
Now Arthur, on the other hand, is a movie I really love and have since I was about 11 years old. I can quote it almost endlessly and I do a fantastic impression of Dudley Moore as Arthur, whether it's "Are you a hooker?! Jesus, I just thought I was doing great with you", or "Where the hell's my hat? I hate it when that happens", or "Hobson? Do you want to run my bath for me?"
I always thought Dudley Moore was truly funny.
One can't divorce all the rapey baggage from Nerds, that's true. And it should be called out. As all of the horrible lessons that these 80's comedies sent down to younger generations. There are very few truly classic comedies from that period that aren't grotesquely misogynistic or blatantly racist. At times, in the case of Nerds, it goes even beyond that into actually endorsing an act by the main character that would rightfully get him put in jail today. And it's so so blatant, it's definitely hard to overlook. This, after all, isn't subtextually endorsing rape. It's flat out showing us a man should be able to get whatever he wants from a woman, by any means necessary. It's bad. It's really bad (as is 16 Candles)
But, personally, I don't split these hairs as I see those problems everywhere. How do we endorse a Humphrey Bogart film when he so casually endorses slapping women when they get 'hysterical'? Or any of the Hollywood feel good classics that passively endorse a woman giving up her own interests for that of her husband? Or, as was mentioned above, a film that treats a genuine disease and mental disorder (alcoholism) as a charming little character flaw (Arthur).
Basically, I'm more that fine discarding these elements when it comes to my own viewing habits. While Lewis is unquestionably a rapist when it comes to the actual details of what happens in the film, I can distance myself from what this should mean for the character, and continue to focus on all of the positive things that character otherwise embodies (being yourself no matter what, pushing back against bullying). When the film is over, I call that element out, but can still leave with what the intended message of the film was.
But, yes, it's extremely unfortunate that scene ever existed in the first place. And that it was so passively accepted by myself and many children of my generation as a victory for the Nerd, and not what it actually was (sexual assault). But this is also one of the virtues of art, and why it is so important that we don't discard or avoid that which actively encourages poisonous ideas and beliefs. Revenge of the Nerds needs to be used to inform us as to how insidious these kind of things can be, when they are inserted in otherwise feel good entertainment, unanalyzed, allowed to fester in the minds of those who watch. I think I've learned more about the garbage way women are treated through recognizing these problematic moments in movies than reading about them in university classrooms. These moments pointedly illustrate how bad things were (and, frankly, still are) and show us pointedly how we can all play a part in perpetuating these ideas, sometimes without even knowing it. Sometimes while thinking what we are watching is entirely innocent or even virtuous.