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Bad day for me and my family. A close relative has died from cancer. He was in a hospice during his final few days. When I went to visit, what I saw lying in that bed when I walked through the door will stay with me for the rest of my life. The person I once knew was unrecognisable. I have never felt as empty inside as I do now. I'm staying with family at the moment, trying to make sense of it all. Needless to say, I won't be posting for a few weeks.



Bad day for me and my family. A close relative has died from cancer. He was in a hospice during his final few days. When I went to visit, what I saw lying in that bed when I walked through the door will stay with me for the rest of my life. The person I once knew was unrecognisable. I have never felt as empty inside as I do now. I'm staying with family at the moment, trying to make sense of it all. Needless to say, I won't be posting for a few weeks.
That's rough man, best of luck getting through it.



Sorry to hear SFS - try to remember them from better times.



Master of My Domain
That must have hurt a lot. Take care SFS, get yourself fully together before posting again.
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Master of My Domain
I don't know if I should post.
There's no risk in having condolences to an internet stranger.



There's no risk in having condolences to an internet stranger.
It's kinda weird for me.

One of my grandparents just died of breast cancer. She was the last member of my family and it hasn't really impacted me.

It's not like I'm in denial either it just didn't get any emotional rise out of me. I'm not sure if I'm just thick-skinned, a sociopath, or already resigned to the fact since she was walking that line for a long time.

I wasn't super close with her, but I have a lot of strong nostalgia tied with those memories. I think a lot of people would expect me to have some sort of reaction, but I've been isolated in my own head for a while now.

I don't know how I feel. I think I might be numb to this sort of thing.

( o_o)



I think if you were truly numb about it, you wouldn't be talking about it here, Omnizoa.



And yeah, sorry for your loss, Sci-Fi Slob, although I already sent him a PM saying that.



I think if you were truly numb about it, you wouldn't be talking about it here, Omnizoa.
Then color me at a bit of a loss.

A lot of the feedback I typically get from people doesn't seem particularly helpful, so I don't know.
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I don't know how I feel. I think I might be numb to this sort of thing.
There are many people who kind of feel disconnected from potentially emotional events in their lives. It doesn't automatically mean you're a sociopath or anything like that.

I've felt like that many times in my life and I'm quite sure I'm a pretty normal person. Many people have to deal with periods of emotional indifference from time to time. It doesn't make you a bad person. You can't choose what you feel.
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There are many people who kind of feel disconnected from potentially emotional events in their lives. It doesn't automatically mean you're a sociopath or anything like that.

I've felt like that many times in my life and I'm quite sure I'm a pretty normal person. Many people have to deal with periods of emotional indifference from time to time. It doesn't make you a bad person. You can't choose what you feel.
Hm.



Sorry for you loss, SFS. I remember seeing my granddad a couple of weeks before he died and that feeling of barely recognising someone so familiar is still as clear as it was that day.

Omni, I think Cob said much of what I would've. When my grandma died what I felt was relief. Relief that she was no longer like that. I'm still not sad that she died. If anything, I think I did my grieving years before she died, after the person I knew and loved wasn't really there anymore.

You feel what you feel. What you do about those feelings are things you can control, but the feeling are what they are.
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Cobs right. It can be even more bizarre when it comes to loss. My grandmother was terribly sickly, but we were close. When she died I didnt cry, I felt nothing. A year later when my dog died I sobbed. Its probably displacement of a sort, and greater time lapses than that can go by with it still being applicable. When your mind cant handle something thats happened, regardless of what you think you feel, it will let your sorrow escape in other areas. You might find yourself burst into furious tears over a movie, video game, etc...