The MoFo Support Group

She didn't swallow a clock like the Crocodile in Peter Pan?

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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
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Thats really harsh SC. I'm not that good with relationship advice...mainly becuase i dont do relationships, but from what i have witnessed, the only thing that makes anything better is time. Its like someone said ealier in this thread, its a cliche, but time does heal. So this guy, is quite cleary a dirtbag. Saber something was his name wasnt? Yeah i remember him being a right douche. So, if this turd isnt giving you the time you feel is required to mourn your relationship, then why the hell should you? Everytime he pops into your head, just think of that.

I say you should get lickered up, put on your moms underwear and run through the streets semi naked and urinate in your worst neghbours garden then pass out on the pavement. Do you thr world of good.

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Pumpkins scream in the DEAD of night!

I'm going to share with you all my current dilemma. Its no where near as heart rending as what is going on with you guys, but none the less it is my problem at the moment that is keeping me up at night.

When i went to uni, i made a life plan for myself. Get a degree, get experience in good job, start my chosen career, leave job and travel the world, come back from travelling and get another good job as i will have experience and foundation to allow me to continue my career. I chose to be a journalist, and so far, to my own wonder and luck, this plan has worked perfectly. So far.

I left uni three years ago with a good English degree. All my friends decided to go travelling around the world, enjoying a year of total wonderful freedom. I decided to put my travelling plans on hold and enter straight into horrifying 9-5 employment. Killed me that all my friends were having the time of their lives and i was in hell, but i stuck it out, and today, i have a great great job that i love, an excellent resume and i'm meant to be booking my round the world trip next week....but im worried im making the worst mistake of my life.

My job is GREAT. Loads of perks, totally flexable to my needs, great people, TONS of fun, and a brilliant position, so im worried that leaving it, i might never find another job as good. Which, i think, is rubbish, as im ony 26, and its not like im editor or anything, but still i have only been here 10 months and im worried im leaving too early. Ive been here long enough to get a great deal out of it. But this still bothers me a bit.

Then again, its the best time, theoretically for me to go travelling. I have a great friend to go with, my lease on my apartment is up and i have two friends to fill my space whilst i go so when i come back i can move straight in again. Really, my main worry is losing a job that i love, never being able to find another one. Which is rubbish i guess. I sound like ive kind of convinced myself in writing this, (and maybe i have, maybe thats what i needed) but i think i should go. But im still worried it could be the wrong choice. Wadda you guys think?

I left Uni 14 years ago with a good English degree and watched a lot of my friends go off travelling while I settled into a 9-5 job.

I did all my travelling (from Russia to China) while still working, though. The only avenue where my friends and I differed was that they saw large swathes of the world in 6 monthly chunks, I saw them in fortnightly bites once a year.

You might be able to get a 12 month unpaid sabbatical, a career break, with your current job - ask around, but don't ask your line manager. He/she might think you're about to jump ship...

Otherwise, pretend you are pregnant and take some maternity leave in Bermuda. Or something.

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"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how the Tatty 100 is done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Behan

It takes time Sexy... My ex got married last year (one of his relatives even sent me an invitation)... Of course I didn't go but it did open up a few wounds I thought had healed... I didn't hear anything from any of them for a while, but then, out of the blue, he called not too long ago... supposedly to ask how I was doing... and truthfully it ticked me off instead of hurting.... and after the call was over, the more I thought about it, the madder I got... so if he ever calls again, he'll probably find out just how damn red my hair really is...

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do you think this annoyed you so much because you felt he was calling to gloat, or it was mean-spirited in nature or something?

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letterboxd

I didn't really get the impression he was calling to gloat... and when I knew him, he wasn't a mean-spirited person.... so in all honesty, I'm not really sure why he called... but he made his choices at the time and shouldn't be calling me anymore.... and it made me mad for his wife's sake...

Uhg! I know how that goes. I'm dating somebody new, and I haven't talked to my ex in 5 months. It's like I'm mad, but at the same GD time I also miss him. My advise Jas', tie up any loose ends, such as feelings and thoughts with him, you know closure. It really, really helps.

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I have been formatted to fit this screen.

r66-The member who always asks WHY?

i dunno. i still keep in contact with my ex, and i don't think there is really anything wrong with it--is there? i guess it really depends on the people, though.

I don't think there is anything wrong with keeping in touch with some ex's. I have a friend I dated years ago that I still see all the time... we decided we were more friends than anything else and I introduced him to the lady who became his wife... and she and I are great friends... they've even asked me to be Godmother to their next child.

The situation with the ex who called is different. They live in another state and I've never even seen his wife much less met her... and I felt like he called me without her knowledge which didn't set too well with me.

yeah, that's kind of weird. it wouldn't set well with me, either.

Ahh, I'm sorry, Sexy. Give yourself sometime to heal. Find some way to get out of your own head; if you can. Books do that for me. If I watch a movie, bad thoughts can come through, but if I read I am in that world completely. Maybe you can find something like that for you and give yourself a much needed emotional break.

here is my problem:

i don't think i could really open up on a forum like this--i'd much rather read what others are saying about their own lives and show support, but i can't do it myself, even if i want to. i think i'm far too private. i just want one person i can do that with, but they've all disappeared.

it's depressing.

Unless you're really lucky, these devastating breakups happen to everybody. Sometimes there are plenty of signs and ways to try to nip them in the bud, but then, other times, they just seem to come from out of the blue. The crappy thing is that no matter why it happened or who did what or anything else, once it's done, you pretty much have to move on, even if that's the most difficult thing in the world. The mourning and revenge periods can seem to last forever too. I know this probably won't help anybody, but when you spend a lot of your energy and emotions on thoughts of revenge, you are actually cutting yourself in half and making it difficult for your friends, family and Support Group to try to deflect you to a more positive expression of your emotions. I mean, I realize this sounds like utter bullcrap right now, but getting to the other end of the tunnel will only make every heartbroken person better, stronger, and easier for a kinder, better "love of your life" to recognize you for who you are and what you have to offer.

It's a total pain in the ass, but there is a bright side if you can get to it. After all, who wants to really spend the rest of their life with someone they hope ends up in "Hell"? Screw them, already. They're the ones who blew it, big time. You are still the same loving person you always were.

Just found this Thread I like it as i am a person who likes to the inner person

7thBoy = your Daughter sounds like she is trying to find herself, not saying she is going about it the right way. She is a young Mother and that can be a shock, is a hard thing at any age, wether she likes it or not her Daughter is her responsibility and she needs to learn to balance motherhood with developing her own social life. A good way of knowing if she is doing the right thing is to ask herself "would my Daughter be proud of me for doing these things" You don't have to give your life up for your children but a balance is a good thing.
The piercing well they can be taken out later with not much scaring so i wouldn't worry to much about them.

Your son needs to find a new therapist, one he likes and he feels he can work with. His insecurity is controlling his life. Life is full of things we don't like and things we can do without. all experiences good and bad make us strong. life never goes the way we want it. He can't control how others act but he can learn to control how he reacts, I feel for him.

Sexy = It is early days as far as your breakup I have had a few in my day It is nearly 2 years now from my breakup from a 20yr relationship The first new relationship the X enters into is always the hardest as it is feels like how could they replace me so soon and how could they make love to another person and not me I remember the problems we had with your X on the Forum at the time I thought that he sounded like he issues with control and possession not a good thing for a relationship.

3663etc Congratulations on being sober, I took a friend to rehab 6 weeks ago and she is doing well so far keep up the good work

Well me apart from suffering from Laryngitis (had to cancel work) Things are good with me

Great thread Sexy

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha

Great idea, Sexy Celebrity!

Time for a cynical perspective. I realize most people on these forums find themselves contending with personal conflicts not unseen by most of the general population. Up until about middle school I would categorize myself as most do, miserable and wanting more; money, girls, admiration. I discovered early, what takes most a lifetime to understand, that whatever you chase, be it material or emotional, it's never tangible. We are not unlike Columbus, who discovered that the horizon went on where it was believed to simply end. Happiness is a path without a destination, it's a struggle without conclusion, a valley absent of peaks. Isolation and solitude are all we will ever have, when it is said and done, it is that, that we share.

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...uh the post is up there...

FILMFREAK087 are you ok

Oh yeah, just tried to give some advice, seemed a little harsh though. I am doing Okay.

What did you say, Filmfreak?