Iro's Film Diary

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Welcome to the human race...
Seeing as I only ever intended for my One Movie a Day thread to only run for the entirety of 2015, I've now decided to change up my system once again and set up two threads, with the other being dedicated to the usual long-form reviews. The posts in this thread should be a bit more relaxed in terms of length and structure.

Okay, three, two, one, let's jam...
__________________
I really just want you all angry and confused the whole time.
Iro's Top 100 Movies v3.0



Welcome to the human race...
INDEX:

#1 - Elite Squad (1/1)
#2 - Overboard (2/1)
#3 - The Twilight Saga: New Moon (4/1)
#4 - Not Quite Hollywood (7/1) REWATCH #1
#5 - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (11/1)
#6 - The Revenant (12/1)
#7 - Clash of the Titans [1981] (12/1)
#8 - Straight Outta Compton (13/1)
#9 - Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (13/1)
#10 - Carol (14/1)
#11 - Heathers (14/1) REWATCH #2
#12 - Machete Maidens Unleashed! (15/1)
#13 - Mad Max: Fury Road (15/1) REWATCH #3
#14 - Jazzin' for Blue Jean (16/1) REWATCH #4
#15 - The Great Ziegfeld (16/1)
#16 - The Iron Giant (17/1) REWATCH #5
#17 - The Octagon (17/1)
#18 - Black Rain (18/1)
#19 - Year of the Dragon (18/1)
#20 - Grease (18/1)
#21 - American Ultra (19/1)
#22 - Bone Tomahawk (20/1)
#23 - The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (20/1)
#24 - Atonement (20/1)
#25 - Electric Boogaloo (22/1)
#26 - The Hateful Eight (23/1)
#27 - World of Tomorrow (24/1) REWATCH #6
#28 - Ghosts of Mars (26/1) REWATCH #7
#29 - The Great Dictator (26/1)
#30 - Kung Fu Panda (27/1)
#31 - Q: The Winged Serpent (28/1)
#32 - The Shawshank Redemption (28/1) REWATCH #8
#33 - The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (29/1)
#34 - Kung Fu Panda 2 (29/1)
#35 - Drop Dead Gorgeous (29/1)
#36 - Corman's World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel (29/1)
#37 - Phoenix (30/1)
#38 - The Godfather (30/1) REWATCH #9
#39 - The Godfather Part II (31/1) REWATCH #10
#40 - The Godfather Part III (31/1) REWATCH #11
#41 - Piranha 3D (3/2)
#42 - Piranha (3/2)
#43 - An Officer and a Gentleman (4/2)
#44 - Carrie (5/2) REWATCH #12
#45 - Steve Jobs (6/2)
#46 - The Big Short (7/2)
#47 - Double Team (10/2) REWATCH #13
#48 - Grabbers (11/2)
#49 - Donald Trump's The Art of the Deal: The Movie (11/2)
#50 - Pee-wee's Big Adventure (11/2)
#51 - Norwegian Ninja (11/2)
#52 - Only God Forgives (13/2) REWATCH #14
#53 - Tangerine (13/2)
#54 - The Editor (14/2)
#55 - Anomalisa (15/2)
#56 - Flirting with Disaster (16/2)
#57 - Angel Heart (18/2) REWATCH #15
#58 - Kick-Ass (18/2) REWATCH #16
#59 - Breakdown (18/2)
#60 - O Brother, Where Art Thou? (18/2) REWATCH #17
#61 - Commando (19/2) REWATCH #18
#62 - Battlefield Earth (20/2)
#63 - Deadpool (20/2)
#64 - Superman III (21/2)
#65 - Spotlight (21/2)
#66 - Seven Psychopaths (21/2)
#67 - Jarhead (22/2)
#68 - The Transporter (22/2)
#69 - Mary and Max (23/2) REWATCH #19
#70 - Runaway Train (23/2)
#71 - The New World (24/2)
#72 - To the Wonder (24/2)
#73 - Room (25/2)
#74 - Brooklyn (25/2)
#75 - Malcolm X (27/2)
#76 - Heavenly Creatures (28/2)
#77 - Lone Star (1/3)
#78 - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (1/3)
#79 - Open Your Eyes (2/3)
#80 - Kill List (4/3)
#81 - Take Shelter (6/3)
#82 - Silent Running (7/3)
#83 - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (7/3) REWATCH #20
#84 - Midnight Express (8/3)
#85 - 127 Hours (9/3)
#86 - Gattaca (11/3)
#87 - Blade Runner (13/3) REWATCH #21
#88 - Being John Malkovich (14/3) REWATCH #22
#89 - 21 Grams (14/3)
#90 - Babel (14/3)
#91 - 13 Assassins (15/3)
#92 - Amour (15/3)
#93 - Pixels [2015] (17/3)
#94 - Ex Machina (17/3) REWATCH #23
#95 - When Marnie Was There (18/3) REWATCH #24
#96 - Shaun the Sheep Movie (18/3)
#97 - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (18/3)
#98 - Hail, Caesar! (23/3)
#99 - Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (24/3)
#100 - Excalibur (25/3) REWATCH #25
#101 - The Quick and the Dead (26/3)
#102 - Slumdog Millionaire (27/3) REWATCH #26
#103 - Rain Man (28/3) REWATCH #27
#104 - Sucker Punch (28/3)
#105 - Safety Not Guaranteed (28/3)
#106 - Captain Ron (29/3)
#107 - Weird Science (29/3)
#108 - River's Edge (29/3) REWATCH #28
#109 - Thunderbolt (29/3)
#110 - The Golden Child (30/3)
#111 - Haywire (31/3)
#112 - Into the Night (31/3)
#113 - Escape From L.A. (4/4) REWATCH #29
#114 - Sicario (5/4) REWATCH #30
#115 - Knight of Cups (5/4)
#116 - The End of the Tour (5/4)
#117 - Man Up (6/4)
#118 - The Wolf of Wall Street (6/4) REWATCH #30
#119 - Joe [2013] (7/4)
#120 - Traffic (9/4) REWATCH #31
#121 - Sling Blade (10/4)
#122 - Cloud Atlas (11/4)
#123 - I Saw The Devil (12/4)
#124 - Last Action Hero (14/4)
#125 - Mud (14/4)
#126 - The Wild One (15/4)
#127 - The Travelling Players (16/4)
#128 - The Cell (17/4)
#129 - The Great Beauty (18/4)
#130 - Psycho [1998] (19/4)
#131 - Tombstone (22/4) REWATCH #31
#132 - Broken Arrow [1996] (22/4)
#133 - Darkman (23/4)
#134 - Chimes at Midnight (24/4)
#135 - Fist of Legend (24/4)
#136 - The Piano Teacher (26/4)
#137 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier (26/4) REWATCH #32
#138 - Captain America: Civil War (28/4)
#139 - Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (28/4) REWATCH #33
#140 - I Heart Huckabees (29/4)
#141 - Voyage to Cythera (30/4)
#142 - American History X (30/4) REWATCH #34
#143 - Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf Bitch (30/4)
#144 - Landscape in the Mist (1/5)
#145 - State of Grace (1/5)
#146 - X-Men: First Class (2/5) REWATCH #35
#147 - The VVitch (2/5)
#148 - X-Men: Days of Future Past (2/5) REWATCH #36
#149 - Paper Moon (3/5)
#150 - Victoria (7/5)
#151 - Garage Days (7/5)
#152 - X-Men (8/5) REWATCH #37
#153 - X2 (9/5) REWATCH #38
#154 - The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (9/5)
#155 - Casualties of War (9/5)
#156 - Macbeth [2006] (10/5)
#157 - Ran (11/5) REWATCH #39
#158 - Dolemite (12/5) REWATCH #40
#159 - The Lego Movie (12/5) REWATCH #41
#160 - Babe: Pig in the City (12/5)
#161 - The Time Machine [1960] (13/5)
#162 - Eternity and a Day (15/5)
#163 - Suicide Club (15/5)
#164 - Primer (16/5) REWATCH #42
#165 - Russian Ark (17/5)
#166 - Titus (18/5)
#167 - Murder by Death (19/5)
#168 - Johnny Mnemonic (20/5)
#169 - Timecop (20/5)
#170 - The Purge (21/5)
#171 - Trilogy: The Weeping Meadow (21/5)
#172 - Nightcrawler (22/5) REWATCH #43
#173 - Out of Sight (22/5)
#174 - X-Men: Apocalypse (23/5)
#175 - Richard III (25/5)
#176 - Theatre of Blood (25/5)
#177 - Hot Shots! (26/5)
#178 - The Nice Guys (27/5)
#179 - Beverly Hills Cop (28/5) REWATCH #44
#180 - Beverly Hills Cop II (28/5)
#181 - Magic Mike (28/5)
#182 - Lost River (29/5)
#183 - Serial Mom (29/5)
#184 - Mommie Dearest (29/5)
#185 - Maximum Overdrive (29/5)
#186 - Fifty Shades of Grey (31/5)
#187 - Once Upon a Time in Anatolia (31/5)
#188 - Blue Valentine (1/6)
#189 - Buena Vista Social Club (1/6)
#190 - Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (3/6) REWATCH #45
#191 - Pink Flamingos (3/6) REWATCH #46
#192 - American Hustle (4/6) REWATCH #47
#193 - Celine and Julie Go Boating (4/6)
#194 - 1900 (6/6)
#195 - The Visit (7/6)
#196 - Deadpool (7/6) REWATCH #48
#197 - White Squall (10/6)
#198 - Half Nelson (12/6)
#199 - Philadelphia (13/6)
#200 - The Piano (14/6)
#201 - Unbreakable (14/6)
#202 - Possession (15/6)
#203 - Mr. & Mrs. Smith (16/6)
#204 - The Five-Year Engagement (18/6)
#205 - Independence Day (18/6) REWATCH #48
#206 - Death Becomes Her (18/6)
#207 - Pootie Tang (18/6)
#208 - Hollywood Shuffle (19/6)
#209 - A History of Violence (19/6) REWATCH #49
#210 - The Place Beyond the Pines (19/6)
#211 - The Driver (19/6)
#212 - Streets of Fire (20/6)
#213 - Phantom of the Paradise (20/6)
#214 - Green Room (20/6)
#125 - Harvey (20/6)
#216 - Candyman (21/6)
#217 - Quick Change (21/6) REWATCH #50
#218 - Noah (25/6)
#219 - Always (25/6)
#220 - Big Wednesday (25/6)
#221 - The Fifth Element (26/6) REWATCH #51
#222 - Rollerball (26/6)
#223 - Barbarella (26/6)
#224 - eXistenZ (27/6) REWATCH #52
#225 - Planet Terror (27/6) REWATCH #53
#226 - I'm Not There (27/6)
#227 - The Sixth Sense (27/6) REWATCH #54
#228 - The Return of the Living Dead (27/6) REWATCH #55
#229 - Outrage Beyond (28/6)
#230 - Instrument (29/6)
#231 - Searching For Sugar Man (29/6)
#232 - 99 Homes (30/6)
#233 - Mississippi Grind (30/6)
#234 - Crimson Peak (1/7)
#235 - True Romance (2/7) REWATCH #56
#236 - Road House (2/7)
#237 - Everybody Wants Some!! (4/7)
#238 - The Hunted (4/7)
#239 - Eastern Promises (5/7) REWATCH #57
#240 - Point Break [2015] (5/7)
#241 - Zootopia (5/7)
#242 - Ms. .45 (6/7)
#243 - Female Trouble (6/7)
#244 - Mad Max: Fury Road (7/7) REWATCH #58
#245 - Universal Soldier: The Return (8/7)
#246 - Tank Girl (8/7)
#247 - Bridesmaids (9/7) REWATCH #59
#248 - On the Road (9/7)
#249 - Black Caesar (9/7)
#250 - Hedwig and the Angry Inch (10/7)
#251 - Contact (10/7)
#252 - The Son's Room (10/7)
#253 - The Fast and the Furious (10/7)
#254 - AVP: Alien vs. Predator (11/7)
#255 - Triple 9 (11/7)
#256 - The Revenant (11/7) REWATCH #60
#257 - 10 Cloverfield Lane (12/7)
#258 - The Village (12/7)
#259 - Eyes of Laura Mars (13/7)
#260 - Ghostbusters [2016] (14/7)
#261 - Lethal Weapon 2 (14/7)
#262 - 2 Fast 2 Furious (14/7)
#263 - The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (15/7)
#264 - The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (15/7) REWATCH #61
#265 - Fast & Furious (15/7)
#266 - Fast Five (16/7)
#267 - Opening Night (16/7)
#268 - Mystery Road (16/7)
#269 - Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (17/7)
#270 - Swiss Army Man (17/7)
#271 - The Lords of Salem (17/7)
#272 - The Innkeepers (18/7)
#273 - Fast & Furious 6 (18/7)
#274 - Furious 7 (18/7)
#275 - I Killed My Mother (18/7)
#276 - Tango & Cash (19/7)
#277 - Once (19/7)
#278 - Sing Street (20/7)
#279 - Bronson (21/7) REWATCH #62
#280 - 1492: Conquest of Paradise (21/7)
#281 - Blues Brothers 2000 (22/7) REWATCH #63
#282 - The Purge: Anarchy (23/7)
#283 - Star Trek Beyond (23/7)
#284 - Grizzly Man (23/7) REWATCH #64
#285 - Josie and the Pussycats (24/7)
#286 - Witness for the Prosecution (24/7)
#287 - Capturing the Friedmans (25/7)
#288 - Mommy (25/7)
#289 - The Bourne Identity (25/7) REWATCH #65
#290 - 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (26/7)
#291 - The Bourne Supremacy (26/7) REWATCH #66
#292 - The Expendables 3 (27/7)
#293 - The Bourne Ultimatum (28/7) REWATCH #67
#294 - Star Trek (28/7) REWATCH #68
#295 - Hunt for the Wilderpeople (28/7)
#296 - Cat People [1982] (29/7)
#297 - Safe [1995] (30/7)
#298 - Star Trek Into Darkness (30/7) REWATCH #68
#299 - Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (31/7)
#300 - 12 Angry Men (31/7) REWATCH #69
#301 - Arsenic and Old Lace (1/8) REWATCH #70
#302 - Papillon (2/8)
#303 - Inside Job (2/8)
#304 - Snatch (2/8) REWATCH #71
#305 - Suicide Squad (4/8)
#306 - All About Eve (4/8) REWATCH #72
#307 - The Bitter Tears of Petra Von Kant (5/8)
#308 - Samurai Rebellion (6/8)
#309 - Inn of Evil (6/8)
#310 - Domino (6/8)
#311 - Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (7/8)
#312 - Jason Bourne (7/8)
#313 - The Mechanic [1972] (8/8)
#314 - Embrace of the Serpent (8/8)
#315 - Cop Land (8/8) REWATCH #73
#316 - Religulous (9/8)
#317 - Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room (9/8)
#318 - Hardcore Henry (9/8)
#319 - Kwaidan (10/8)
#320 - The Duke of Burgundy (10/8)
#321 - Night and Fog (10/8)
#322 - Hiroshima Mon Amour (11/8) REWATCH #74
#323 - Muriel, or the Time of Return (12/8)
#324 - The Human Condition I: No Greater Love (13/8)
#325 - MacGruber (13/8)
#326 - Hymn to a Tired Man (14/8)
#327 - Valley of the Dolls (14/8)
#328 - Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (14/8)
#329 - Mustang (15/8)
#330 - Vamps (15/8)
#331 - Throw Momma From the Train (16/8)
#332 - World's Greatest Dad (16/8)
#333 - Shaolin Soccer (16/8)
#334 - Beverly Hills Cop III (17/8)
#335 - Kubo and the Two Strings (18/8)
#336 - Bullets for the Dead (19/8)
#337 - The Human Condition II: Road to Eternity (20/8)
#338 - Black River (21/8)
#339 - Vagabond (21/8)
#340 - 2 or 3 Things I Know About Her (21/8)
#341 - The Bad News Bears (22/8)
#342 - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (22/8)
#343 - Rabbit-Proof Fence (22/8)
#344 - The Brothers Bloom (23/8)
#345 - The Inbetweeners 2 (23/8)
#346 - Desperate Living (24/8)
#347 - Brewster's Millions (24/8)
#348 - Meshes of the Afternoon (26/8)
#349 - The Human Condition III: A Soldier's Prayer (27/8)
#350 - Weiner (28/8)
#351 - Mr. Nice Guy (29/8) REWATCH #75
#352 - The Ladykillers [2004] (29/8)
#353 - Young Frankenstein (30/8) REWATCH #76
#354 - ParaNorman (31/8)
#355 - A Grand Day Out (31/8) REWATCH #77
#356 - The Wrong Trousers (31/8) REWATCH #78
#357 - A Close Shave (31/8) REWATCH #79
#358 - Eye in the Sky (31/8)
#359 - Hopscotch (31/8)
#360 - The DUFF (1/9)
#361 - Don't Breathe (2/9)
#362 - Sausage Party (3/9)
#363 - Jackie Chan's First Strike (4/9)
#364 - Happiness [1965] (4/9)
#365 - Undisputed (4/9)
#366 - High-Rise (5/9)
#367 - Duelle (5/9)
#368 - The One I Love (6/9)
#369 - Yakuza Apocalypse: The Great War of the Underworld (7/9)




Welcome to the human race...
#1 - Elite Squad
José Padilha, 2007



In 1997, a team of hardened police officers work to keep the peace in Rio de Janeiro, mainly by taking on local drug traffickers.

Having only known Padilha for helming the misguided RoboCop remake, I was pleasantly surprised to see him put together a vibrant and colourful film that nonetheless tackled some fairly serious subject matter. What seemed at the outset like it'd be a straightforward action thriller that saw a team of hard-bitten Brazilian police officers take down some drug dealers by using any means necessary actually turned out to be a slightly (and I do mean slightly) more meditative work. Shot through with grainy cinematography that definitely draws attention to its saturation of both orange and teal, it at least offers an interesting insight into the mindsets of the Elite Squad's many different members as they must not only struggle with the frequent demands of their jobs but also with the strain it puts on their personal lives, especially the squad captain whose tenderness with his pregnant wife contrasts with his harsh training measures or the new recruit whose second life as a university student causes him some serious internal conflict as he is torn between defending and questioning his job. In any case, Elite Squad has enough nuance to compensate for a seemingly reactionary premise that suggests state-sanctioned brute force as the first response to rampant crime. I'll definitely be checking out the sequel, which I hear is even better.




Welcome to the human race...
#2 - Overboard
Garry Marshall, 1987



After a spoiled heiress falls off a boat and develops amnesia, a blue-collar carpenter decides to convince her that she is actually his wife.

In a genre that has spawned as many unintentionally absurd and twisted premises as the romantic comedy has, Overboard somehow stands out as one of the most twisted. It sets up a simple enough pair of polar opposites - the incredibly stuck-up socialite (Goldie Hawn) and the lower-class handyman (Kurt Russell) that she hires to carry out some renovations on her yacht. However, when Hawn contracts amnesia after falling off her yacht one night and is abandoned to a psychiatric ward by her self-centred husband, Russell decides to pretend to be her husband out of some crude idea of revenge after she had already stiffed him over the aforementioned renovations. Though Hawn cannot remember her identity, she still retains her same snobby personality and thus the film gleans most of its comedy from her struggling to adjust to Russell's good-ole-boy lifestyle, which includes looking after his feral sons and his dilapidated homestead.

Overboard could have been at least somewhat tolerable if it was capable of providing some actual amusement to compensate for its incredibly problematic premise, but that's unfortunately not the case here. I have previously claimed that I could watch Russell in anything, but this film definitely pushes that claim to its breaking point as his easygoing charm isn't quite enough to make up for his character's misguided but inexcusable actions. Hawn's turn as a haughty rich-bitch is naturally supposed to be aggravating enough that you take some pleasure in her inevitable humiliations, but she's never reprehensible enough to make her rather severe comeuppance ever feel justified. Other performers tend to be either dull or irritating, especially one of Russell's kids constantly doing a Pee-Wee Herman impression that really grates on the nerves. Though Overboard does seem to have an idea of how creepy its premise sounds, it struggles to make it even remotely palatable due to the incredibly weak romantic elements and the complete absence of any worthwhile jokes.




Welcome to the human race...
#3 - The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Chris Weitz, 2009



A teenage human must cope not only with her vampire boyfriend suddenly abandoning her but also with the romantic tension between her and her childhood friend.

The original Twilight film wasn't that terrible. It wasn't great by any stretch of the imagination, but I couldn't get nearly as worked up about it as the average hater did back in the day. At the very least, the film's blend of paranormal melodrama and gloomy monster mayhem was a little entertaining and exceeded my expectations. However, there was nothing that suggested a serious need to see any of the sequels, and actually watching second film New Moon (while thinking that it'd put me to sleep, no less) definitely bore that out. While the original film worked well enough as a stand-alone story, the sequel definitely suffers as it becomes the type of sequel that exists mainly to develop a series-wide narrative but isn't good in its own right. It's a shame, because there are some promising elements at work here. Having already spent the first installment establishing the romance between human Bella (Kristen Stewart) and vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson), the series takes an interesting left turn when a vampire party gets a little out of hand and leads Edward to distance himself from Bella. This sinks her into a deep depression and causes her to pursue anything that will either bring Edward and his family back or at least chase away the numbness she feels; this does end up leaving her vulnerable to the largely unrequited attentions of her friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner), who is hiding a secret of his own...

Unfortunately, that potential really doesn't hold up in the face of the rest of the film. Some new elements (such as Edward's ability to appear to Bella in the form of an astral projection) are pretty ridiculous in their own right due to combinations of narrative inconsistency and poorly-executed effects work. That's without counting the ways in which the film does start to get bogged down in its main plot, which primarily consists of Bella hanging around her small town with friends and occasionally becoming privy to certain truths involving the local Native American population; while this does make the film veer into potentially interesting territory, it never makes the most of it. Even when the film starts building a major conflict involving the members of an evil vampire cult, it still falls short due to pacing problems involving the balance of plot progression and character development. The weaknesses in the characterisation naturally influence the acting for the worse as performers do tend to be passable at best. While New Moon did have moments that suggested some small degree of substance underneath its rather trite-looking surface, any appeal peters out and is virtually forgotten by the time that the credits roll. At the rate things are going, I'll probably end up seeing the rest of the films - maybe once I'm done, I'll figure out why I did.




I loved Overboard, but it's probably been 20 years.

I've got that Elite Squad and its sequel on my watchlist. I've heard nothing but good things.



I watched the first Twilight movie just to see what it was all about and so I could hate on it with proper reason.

And damn is there a lot of reasons to hate on that one. I'm afraid I can't share your hatred of the second film since I simply couldn't force myself further into this saga after witnessing the first one. Well-done reviews as always, Iro.



Welcome to the human race...
I watched the first Twilight movie just to see what it was all about and so I could hate on it with proper reason.

And damn is there a lot of reasons to hate on that one. I'm afraid I can't share your hatred of the second film since I simply couldn't force myself further into this saga after witnessing the first one. Well-done reviews as always, Iro.
To me, the hatred surrounding Twilight eventually boiled over and went from being reasonable criticism of a poorly-crafted story to excessive amounts of self-important hatred that made the films themselves look slightly better in hindsight. My expectations were low, but I didn't expect to outright hate it and I never did. Unfortunately, the sequels are much more dry and lifeless affairs that do better at hinting towards interesting cinema than actually delivering.



Welcome to the human race...
#4 - Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation!
Mark Hartley, 2008



A documentary about the "Ozploitation" film movement, which involved Australians making a wide variety of exploitation films during the 1970s and 1980s.

As of writing, Mark Hartley's carved out quite the niche for himself as the director of cinematic documentaries that grant cultural import to the unlikeliest of film movements. His break-out film Not Quite Hollywood lays out the groundwork for his career quite well as it addresses the so-called "Ozploitation" genre, which came about following the relaxation of Australia's film censorship standards during the late 1960s and early 1970s. While the powers that be would naturally rather that Australia built its cinematic reputation on the back of prestigious films like Picnic at Hanging Rock and My Brilliant Career, there was also no stopping the production of films that were as far from prestigious as it's possible to get. To this end, Hartley interviews a variety of people in order to provide a balanced portrait of both the era and the films - directors, producers, writers, technicians, actors, stuntmen, critics, and even Quentin Tarantino (whose caption simply describes him as a "fan") all offer their commentary on the subject. Given the wide array of individuals, perspectives range from wicked senses of pride on the part of producers and directors alike to bemused defamations courtesy of the critics who still regard Ozploitation films as irredeemable trash. This well-rounded portrait is part of what makes Not Quite Hollywood work - while the film is clearly in favour of casting a more respectable light on these films, it's also willing to address some of the less savoury aspects of the movement and will occasionally feature films that deserve to be held up as nasty (or just boring) pieces of work instead of obscure cult classics.

In addition to offering insight into the culture surrounding the films both then and now, Not Quite Hollywood also functions as something of a greatest-hits package for the many different films that it covers. The film is bursting with scenes that feature everything from gratuitous full-frontal nudity to graphic acts of violence, which certainly helps to grant it a lot more re-watch value than the average documentary (though it is mitigated somewhat by interviewees providing some rather unflattering commentary about the featured scenes). At least it knows how to structure things out accordingly, getting the cheap sexploitation films out of the way early in order to focus on the much more inventive films from both the action and horror genres. There's also some eye-catching use of animated transitions to help maintain the film's rollicking pace, adding flair to archived footage of both the madcap entertainment and the behind-the-scenes mayhem. Not Quite Hollywood may not come across as particularly serious or all that impartial in the grand scheme of things, but it's hard to take that much issue with it when it provides such a generally enjoyable experience.




Welcome to the human race...
#5 - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
David Slade, 2010



As a rogue army of vampires starts to gain power, a teenage human is caught in a love triangle between her vampire boyfriend and her werewolf best friend.

I'm not sure what I like less, films that can't handle set-ups or films that can't handle pay-offs. In any case, the Twilight film series seems to be comprised of both. While New Moon suffered due to its emphasis on developing characters while not having much in the way of an engaging plot, Eclipse tries too hard to compensate by shifting the balance to the opposite extreme. The film sets up a somewhat arbitrary conflict involving a rogue vampire (Bryce Dallas Howard) building up her own group of vampires in the woods near the small town of Forks, where human Bella (Kristen Stewart) is still dealing with the romantic tension between her, vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson), and werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Their issues start playing into a growing war that involves many different sides - the "good" vampires share an uneasy truce with the local werewolf tribe but both sides are forced to form an alliance in order to take on the rogue vampire army, and that's without mentioning the evil vampire cult introduced in New Moon that's waiting in the shadows for the ideal moment to strike...

If anything, Eclipse demonstrates how much unrealised potential that the series opts to sideline in favour of pursuing a stiffly melodramatic tale of romance between three very different people. Barely-distinguishable supporting characters get flashbacks to their past that invoke everything from Westerns to Prohibition-era gangsters to Native American folklore, all of which promise more interesting stories in their own right but ultimately feel too inconsequential in the face of the series' actual main plot. This film also ups the scale of its action sequences, but such scenes are still handled rather messily and don't make good use of the series' rather distinct interpretation of mythical creatures. The lead trio are hard to take seriously in these roles; Stewart's limp underacting and Pattinson's clear disinterest in his part make Lautner's hollow displays of passion and fury more engaging by default. At least supporting characters don't leave much of a negative impression. Just like New Moon, Eclipse has the odd moment that threatens to redeem the film; however, such moments are ultimately lost in the fray as the film sacrifices potentially decent characterisation for the sake of some ultimately underwhelming action scenes and the same weak romantic plotline that makes no distinguishable progress one way or the other in this film.




28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Eclipse is the "best" Twilight film. Sad to see both of these films getting a higher rating than Overboard.
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Suspect's Reviews



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Eclipse is the "best" Twilight film. Sad to see both of these films getting a higher rating than Overboard.
Oh, for the love of...why is it that people get so defensive every time I criticise Overboard? Actually, "defensive" is too generous a word because it all amounts to "well, I liked it". It's a horrible excuse for a comedy in about six different ways, and while the Twilight sequels aren't good by any measure (and arguably commit the same crime as Overboard by having a rather creepy angle on the romantic side of things), they're still automatically preferable on the basis that they're not trying to be funny like Overboard does.



If it helps, my sister had Overboard on repeat when we were teenagers and I hated it. Can't imagine my feelings have changed.
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Thanks for the affirmation, guys, but considering how my review actually convinced someone to re-watch it and give it a good rating, I don't know what to say.



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#6 - The Revenant
Alejandro González Iñárritu, 2015



After a fur trapper is mauled by a bear and left for dead, he makes his way across a snow-covered landscape to take revenge on the man who wronged him.

How easy is it to become complacent with cinema as an art form? Can a person giving their all towards pushing the envelope of their respective medium still inspire platitudes that feel more like polite concessions than heartfelt compliments? Does even the most astounding display of creative craftsmanship start to feel too repetitive after enough time has passed? These questions and many others plagued me during my viewing of The Revenant, Alejandro González Iñárritu's immense take on the revisionist Western (though the man himself may argue with such a classification). Having already made a huge splash with the Broadway-based black comedy Birdman, Iñárritu now opts to apply his craft to a considerably more ambitious project that sees him go from a cramped New York theatre to the unforgiving expanse of a frozen landscape. The sheer scope that was evident from the very first trailers certainly seems to be in full force, but one can just as easily wonder if Iñárritu's passion for technical flair and impressionistic storytelling can really be enough to make The Revenant great in its own right.

The Revenant takes place in the wintry North American wilderness during the early part of the 19th century. After beginning with a cryptic handful of opening scenes, the film drops us into the middle of a heated battle between an outfit of white American fur trappers and a tribe of Arikara natives. In the midst of this battle, two white men stand out above the rest. One is Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio), a rugged man of principle with a dark and troubled past who wants nothing more than to care for his young mixed-race son Hawk (Forrest Goodluck). The other is John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy), an embittered mercenary who lives for nobody but himself and is already antagonistic towards Glass even before circumstances lead to him embracing his villainous role. As if the bloody Arikara raid that leaves most of the group dead and the survivors running for their lives from a determined foe isn't bad enough, things get a whole lot worse when Glass goes to scout ahead and is almost mauled to death by a grizzly bear, forcing the remaining members of the hunting party to decide what to do about their gravely wounded companion.

At the outset, The Revenant definitely makes sure to grab one's attention. A lot of that has to do with director of photography Emmanuel Lubezki, who has built quite the name for himself off the back of some incredibly ambitious cinematography. His work involves all manner of engaging techniques from the deft balance of light and colour to the free-wheeling long takes that push the limits of what a movie camera can do and provide some indelible imagery in the process. This is especially true from the first few minutes of The Revenant, which follows up dreamlike nature photography with a blistering battle that involves the camera rushing and whirling to capture a variety of graphic deaths and injuries. The decision to film the proceedings using only natural lighting is an interesting one and does yield some aesthetically arresting scenes, though Iñárritu and Lubezki's dedication to this task seems a little ironic considering how there are moments that draw attention to the camera's existence such as lens flares and visible condensation. His famed use of long takes is definitely present but is often passed over in favour of sequences that can't help but look choppy in comparison to his best work thanks to the editing - and that's without mentioning the debatable quality of the CGI effects used to bring everything from wolves to bears into blurry, not-entirely-convincing existence that contrasts quite severely against Lubezki's handiwork.

Even after taking into account the Hollywood epic's tendency towards narratives that are composed with broad strokes, The Revenant still feels awfully underweight. A lot of this has to do with a staggering running time of 156 minutes, which you'd think would suit the film's sheer scope but instead serves to undermine it. Revenge is the driving force at the heart of the film, yet it takes the better part of an hour before the event that truly sets Glass on a quest for revenge even takes place. At least the film knows better than to make the entire film about Glass, following a number of different parties as they journey across the frozen wastes for one reason or another - of special note is the leader (Duane Howard) of the outwardly antagonistic Arikara tribe who has his own sympathetic motives that make him a much more nuanced individual than a stereotypical savage would be. However, the multiple narrative threads don't always yield anything of substance; even the varied scenes of nature captured in all their glory by Lubezki start to lose their appeal as the film drags on and on, leading one to grow a little tired of seeing the same things over and over. The morning sky as seen through the trees, a tiny orange campfire burning against against a dull blue landscape, an all-but-incapacitated DiCaprio dragging himself very slowly across the ground...the list goes on. For a film that is dependent on its visuals to distinguish itself from similar works, it sure does threaten to run them into the ground through sheer repetition.

Considering how light on narrative substance The Revenant tends to be, it's clear how much the film needs to be carried by its performers; this is a fact that threatens to make or break the film. DiCaprio has become something of a walking punchline in recent years because of his tendency to dedicate himself to challenging roles that involve collaborating with esteemed directors and making all sorts of outwardly prestigious films. Unfortunately, such dedication has the unintended side-effect of making him seem like he's trying too hard to prove something, which ironically renders him awfully unconvincing in the process. His work in The Revenant seems to reflect the same tragically flawed passion that informs his other performances as he puts himself through the proverbial wringer for the sake of this grueling survival story. He does go through quite the endurance test as he floats along icy rivers, crawls through dirty snow, and even eats raw animal parts at one point. Genuine displays of physical distress only go so far when it comes to making a great performance, though; in this regard, I do appreciate that DiCaprio is making more of an effort to work outside his comfort zone and plays a character devoid of his usual smooth-talking charm. Try as he might, DiCaprio still can't make the most of a character like Glass, who still remains fairly flat even after his supposedly mysterious past has been revealed.

Other performers don't fare much better. If DiCaprio can be said to struggle with disappearing into a role, then Hardy's problem is that he disappears into a role too well. While I tend to like his work more often than not, this definitely feels like "not". A lot of that has to do with his turn as a gruff American villain; while Hardy has earned a reputation for doing thick affectations that make his lines hard to decipher, this quality seems far more pronounced when he tries to do guttural American voices. It definitely worked against him in John Hillcoat's bootlegger drama Lawless, and though his work here is arguably better, there are still plenty of instances where he becomes a bit too hard to understand even after you've had time to get used to his diction. This undercuts important moments, such as a fireside monologue about God that he delivers to his guilt-ridden accomplice (Will Poulter). Younger actors like Poulter and Goodluck do what they can in fairly simple supporting roles, while Domnhall Gleeson's turn as the ambushed party's upstanding military commander is surprisingly solid considering the character's fairly basic nature. The same goes for Howard, who initially makes for an interesting character because of his character's relative unpredictability within this fairly familiar storyline and has enough chops to make it work.

Though it features considerable scale and epic ambitions, The Revenant ultimately feels like too much of a compromise to be a truly great film. Despite the talent involved, many of the players on either side of the camera seem to be going through the motions in telling a story that is perhaps a bit too simple even by the standards of existing Hollwood epics. At least things are justified somewhat by the fact that the film offers something more than the stolid technical professionalism one expects from a Hollywood epic, infusing the film with just enough energy and innovation to make it seriously watchable (even if you might be used to it after seeing enough Lubezki-lensed films). The same goes for the performances, which are supposed to supplant an extremely rudimentary story with comparatively little depth; this is especially true considering how the film frequently involves potentially incomprehensible dialogue from its harsh-voiced leads (with Hardy naturally being the biggest offender in this regard). Even the minimalist score that alternates between sombre and tense does little to stick out in a good way, with the only thing I remember about it being its extremely redundant presence during the climatic scene (especially since the earlier bear scene played out with no music whatsoever and lost none of its effect in the process). Hardly the worst film of the year, but I'd have trouble thinking of it as the best.




28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Oh, for the love of...why is it that people get so defensive every time I criticise Overboard? Actually, "defensive" is too generous a word because it all amounts to "well, I liked it". It's a horrible excuse for a comedy in about six different ways, and while the Twilight sequels aren't good by any measure (and arguably commit the same crime as Overboard by having a rather creepy angle on the romantic side of things), they're still automatically preferable on the basis that they're not trying to be funny like Overboard does.
I didn't know Overboard had so many defenders.

I guess I just looked past the moral dilemmas in the film to enjoy a stupid romantic comedy. Are there problems with the morality of what he did and what happens when she assumes she is married to him? Of course. I don't think the film is really trying to say anything important on the issue though and instead is interested in entertaining the idea of revenge in a comical way.

The two leads work extremely well off each other. It helps that they've been together for years, so this adds to the strengths of the film. Edward Herrmann plays the perfect sleazeball to make the audience dislike him.

I watched the film with my mom when I was younger. She is a huge Kurt Russell fan and I had good feelings towards it then. Older now, I see the problems in the premise, but look past that to have some stupid fun with implausible characters. Russell makes the film work for me, if he weren't in it, I probably wouldn't like it.

You said you 'thought' you could tolerate anything Kurt Russell does, I guess I can.

I also think there is a difference between a stupid comedy and a film like Twilight in regards to the treatment of woman. Arranged marriage, woman being submissive to over-dominate men, weird subtle pedophilia (argumentative) and overall poor messages to impressionable young woman does more damage than a stupid comedy with no real ill tensions. People read/see Twilight and emulate it. Who does that with Overboard? I'm not justifying what the film portrays, but I do think one is preferable to the other.

In short, I do believe one is harmless while the other is not.



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Yeah, those are good points. It also seems like a lot of the affinity that people have for the film seems to involve nostalgia, which I obviously don't have towards the film. I think it's only compounded by the fact that the film is an extremely broad comedy, so I don't exactly respond to the various moments of half-baked slapstick or screwball dialogue (hell, I singled out one of Russell's character's kids for constantly talking in an annoying Pee-Wee Herman voice - regardless of whether it's supposed to be funny or just so unfunny that it loops around to funny, it just got on my nerves way too much either way). Even if I do accept that it's supposed to be a simple bit of fun, that doesn't feel like enough justification to actually like the film anyway.

I do have to concede that the inherently toxic influence of Twilight definitely reaches further than that of a light comedy like Overboard, though.



I do have to concede that the inherently toxic influence of Twilight definitely reaches further than that of a light comedy like Overboard, though.
This has always upset me, the vampires in Twilight don't "sparkle", they "scintillate"! If people had read the book they would know that!
*violently punches self in face*
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I'd say that the fact that the vampires "scintillate" (even if that is the right word, it still doesn't feel right) is one of the least objectionable qualities about the Twilight series myself, but whatever.