Darth Stujitzu's favourite Scottish Movies; No room for Braveheart shocker!

For those who don't know, I'm a very patriotic scotsman, despite not being discovered as the Scottish Spielberg yet, here are some of my favourite Scottish movies.

1. Shallow Grave 1994

Danny Boyle's first feature film debut. This is a classic film noir, set in Edinburgh.
The film revolves around 3 bored flatmates who are in search of a fourth flatmate to help pay the rent. After several often comedic interviews, they meet Hugo( Keith Allen) and decide to offer him the room. Hugo moves in and stays in his room for several days, eventually his flatmates break into his room and discover Hugo dead with a suitcase full of money. The dilemma; call the police or dispose of the body and keep the money. Of course they keep the money, but at what cost to their friendship, their lives and their sanity.

This is an excellent first film from Boyle, as well as introducing the director it also gave Ewan McGregor and Christopher Eccleston(The most recent incarnation of Dr. Who) their big breaks, taught, funny, gorry , loaded with suspense, and of course a wicked twist ending.
I much prefer this film to his next movie Trainspotting, but then I'm a big Hitchcock fan and love film noir. Rating 4/5.

2. Gregory's Girl 1981

This is the ultimate Scottish feel good movie. Bill Forsyth's awkward teenage coming of age comedy, stars John Gordon-Sinclair as beanpole Gregory, a clumsy, shy boy who falls for Dorothy.
Dorothy is the first girl to play for the school's football(soccer if you're American) team, and is lusted after by the majority of the school's male population. After drumming up the courage to ask Dorothy out, Gregory finds himself at the mercy of Dorothy's pals and an elabourate game of cat and mouse, before coming to a surprising climax.
Heart-warming and familiar to many of us that have suffered teenage angst towards the opposite sex. It's also one of the funniest Scottish films I've seen, and was also responsabile for the rebirth of Scottish film. Rating 4.5/5

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3. [b]Restless Natives 1985.

Michael Hoffman's modern day Robin Hood.
Will and Ronnie are 2 friends going nowhere fast with their lives, determined to do something bold, they devise a plan to hold up the many tourist busses of Scotland and make some money. Their guise? A clown's mask and a werewolf's mask. After successful hold ups, the boys decide to share their wealth with the local community, while Will develops a crush on one of the bus' stewardesses.
A cracking comedy that makes great use of the Scottish wilderness and scenery, with a sharp cameo role from Ned Beatty(he does have a pretty mouth-Deliverance) add to this heroic comedy, as the boys become more successful, the more the police are determined to bring them to justice, will they get away with it, will they get the girl?
Rating 4/5

4.Wilbur wants to kill himself. 2003
Lone Scherfig's bitter sweet black comedy about suicide. Wilbur is deeply unhappy with his life and has decided to commit suicide. So far his unsuccessful attempts have only resulted in a few seconds of brain death. Wilbur and his brother Harbour run a bookshop inherited from their parents, they take in a young mother and daughter and form a strange kind of family. What follows is a dark humoured film about love, family and death. Thankfully the humour stops the film from ever being depressing, but essentially it's a Scottish type of humour, and I'm not sure how it would translate outside of Scotland.
A very enjoyable film, made in partnership with Denmark, Sweden and France. The Danish director has gone on record, stating that the Danes and scots have a similar sense of humour, on this proof, I totally agree. A bold first foreign language directorial, not for everyone. Rating 4/5.

5.Young Adam 2003

David MacKenzie's adaptation of Alexander Trocchi's 1954 novel.
Joe(McGregor) is a nihilistic young drifter, who's only joy in life is his seedy sexual adventures. Joe is helping Les(Peter Mullan)and his wife Ella(Tilda Swinton) on their barge on the river Clyde. Joe and Les find a young woman's corpse floating on the river, but is this the first encounter Joe has had with the girl? This is a dark disturbing tale of Joe and his lack of guilt over what happened to the girl, and his ultimate betrayal of Les and the ensuing affair he has with Ella. MacKenzie uses dreech and drab colours to make this film look and feel like the 50's, he seems to capture the industrial town Glagow was, and there are fine performances from all the cast, especially McGregor who plays against type.
Dark and gritty. Rating 3.5/5

6.Strictly Sinatra 2001

Peter Capaldi's story follows Toni Cocozza(Ian Hart) a small time Sinatra impersonator living in Glasgow. Toni becomes friends with local mob boss Cononolly(Cuthbertson) and his right hand man Chisolm(Brian Cox). Toni is seduced by his new found fame, believing his life is parralelling Sinatra and his mob connections, that is until things get nasty and Toni begins to realize he's in over his head.
Will Toni escape, is it too late, is he in too deep? Rating 3.5/5

Just a few suggestions, other films I've liked are;
Small Faces 1996.
Local Hero 1983.
Dog Soldiers 2002.
American Cousins 2003.
16 Years of Alcohol 2003.

Some Films to avoid at all costs;
Morvern Callar 2002
Orphans 1997
Late night shopping 2001.


The worst Scottish movie ever, if not the world's worst is; Richard Jobson's " THE PURIFIERS "

For the love of God, don't subject yourself or you're loved ones to this!!!!


Anyone that wants me to expand on any of the above mentioned, just ask.

O.K. to most people, Braveheart and Trainspotting are the best known Scottish movies, so here's a quick review on both.

[b]Braveheart 1995.

Mel Gibson's take on Scottish legend William Wallace(Gibson) was great, if not totally historically acurate. Filmed mostly in Ireland( Scotland wouldn't give Gibson the tax breaks) it tells the story of Wallace's historic uprising against the superiorly numbered English, and their king Edward(McGoohan). This is an epic film, yeah, I cried at the end, and Gibson's famous speech about " Freedom " is used before every Scotland game to gee up the fans. Indeed our new National Anthem Flower of Scotland, revels in this period of history when first Wallace and then Robert the Bruce defeated the English and "sent them homeward tae think again". Sorry, got all Sean Connery there! Don't really have a problem with Braveheart at all, but as alredy stated, it was filmed in Ireland. Rating 4.5/5

Trainspotting 1996

Danny Boyle's follow up to Shallow Grave could not have been more different, no film noir here, instead we have a story revolving round a group of drug addicts based in Edinburgh. I was really surprised that this film did so well in America, it's a very dark, bleak film with loads of typical Scottish humour. I did hear that the film was sub-titled, can anyone enlighten me on this? There are very strong performances especially from McGregor and Robert Carlyle, it is a visualy stunning and disturbing film, that pulls few punches, and it's complimented by a superb soundtrack. Trainspotting was responsabile for re-awakening scottish film, Boyle, McGregor and Carlyle are all on top of their game. Rating 4/5.

Good to see Dog Soldiers mentioned. I don't think it's a great film, but it's tremendous fun.

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Great thread Darth. I gave you rep recently, so I can't give you any for this thread until I hit some other folks up with some as well. I think I told you already, but I just watched Shallow Grave again recently. Such a good film!

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Rob Roy was o.k, but it lumbered a bit and always felt like Braveheart's poorer cousin. Liam Neeson was nothing special in the role, not a huge fan of Tim Roth, but John Hurt and Brian Cox were both good. I think Rob Roy suffered because Braveheart was a bigger, more action packed Hollywood style movie. Perhaps if Rob Roy had been released before Braveheart it would have done better.
I always support Michael Caton-Jones as a director, for me he hasn't made a standout movie yet, but I enjoyed The Jackal, City by the Sea , This Boy's Life, Doc Hollywood, Memphis Belle, and Scandal. Plus he supports the same football team as myself, now if only he'd give me a job.

Tim Roth is a good actor, but there is something about him I just don't like. Hope you don't hold this against me Lance McCool!!!

Yeah, Dog Soldiers was a fun movie to watch, I'm looking forward to Neil Marshall's new film THE DESCENT, it looks really creapy, Friday night movie to take a girl to, loads of frights!!!
Kevin McKidd the lead actor is also good in Trainspotting, Small Faces and 16 Years of Alcohol.
However under no circumstances should you watch THE PURIFIERS, it's easily one of the worst movies ever!!

You Have Been Warned!!!

It wasn't until this morning I remembered the worst Scottish movie of all time, so here's a quick review to save you from going through the same pain and years of therapy as myself.

The Purifiers 2003

Richard Jobson's second film after 16 Years of Alcohol. A martial arts movie set in Glasgow, o.k, the warning signs were there. I had been in discussion with Richard Jobson over some of my own scripts, he seemed totally disintrested, but as I got up to leave, he gave me some tickets for the premier of his new film.
I turned up to the premier with an open mind, Richard had described it as a good fun karate movie that was suitable for kids. Less than 20 mins into the film, people started walking, others started laughing for no apparent reason at what was supposed to be the " Serious dialogue ", but like the war hardened cinema goer I am, I stuck it out to the bitter end. I needed several showers afterwards, and I still don't think my eyes have ever forgiven me, next time I'll just roll them in salt rather than watch this film again.
The main problems with this movie is it caters neither to kids or adults, the fight scenes are a joke, Dominic Monaghan(Merry the Hobbit from LOTR) is especially embarrasing, he looks like he couldn't fight sleep let alone anybody else, the dialogue is horrible and stilted beyond belief, especially Kevin McKidd the main villan of the piece sound like he's pronouncing every vowel as a form of Chinese Water-Torture.

I seriously can't think of one redeeming feature in this film, it looks like a school project made by 12 year olds, though come to think of it the 12 year olds would have done a better job!

There was supposed to be a question/answer after the film with Jobson for the press, needless to say he didn't re-appear, and I left feeling like I'd lost 90 mins of my life for nothing. Even now I still shudder at the memory of this film, don't expect to see this in a video store near you, it seems to have sunk without a trace, there was no cinema release. So be warned, unless you're the FBI's guy responsabile for coming up with new ways to torture(allegedly) captives, avoid this like the plague!!!!

I'm off for several showers and a lie down. I never heard from Jobson again, maybe somebody up there likes me.

Great thread, Darth, though I have to disagree with you about Morvern Callar. Samantha Mathis is good in it and it's an interesting story. Nevertheless, this thread is the sort of thing I need for British cinema. Again: if they're speaking English, I can't keep track of where it was made. Thanks for the info.

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Review: Cabin in the Woods 8/10

Cheers C,
just thought Morvern Callar dragged its feet a little for me. Perhaps it was just the mood I was in, I almost ended up working as an extra on this film, but I've got a face for radio!!!

Haven't seen Lyne Ramsays first film Ratcatcher, but it got loads of good reviews, especially as it was her debut feature.
I will check it out and get back to you.

Hey Darth~ I haven't seen Ratcatcher either, but have heard good things. I'll see if I can catch it soon and we can do duelling reviews.

Is that similar to duelling banjos??? He does have a pretty mouth!
That movie still disturbs me to this day!

Ya know, I still haven't seen Deliverance. I've lived it, of course, doing theater in N. Carolina, but haven't seen it. Maybe it's about time.

It's a great film, not for the faint-hearted, but IMO one of Burt Reynold's best. Plus its got Jon Voigt, a brilliant actor and the unfortunate Ned Beatty. I bet Ned Beatty never lived down that sequence from Deliverence. Still its one of those movies everyone seems to know, let me know what you think.

Wow, Deliverance, i'll never forget innocently flicking the channel and hearing "scream like a piggy", sigh, traumatising.

Anyway, nice thread, i'll be honest and admit the only film i've seen is Shallow Grave, but Dog Soldiers, ****in' aye! The Descent has just started to be trailered, looking forward to it!

As for Ratcatcher, seen bits, not really a fan of the whole kitchen sink genre.

Oh, and how to you interpret Shallow Grave's last shot? Dead/Alive?

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For me, McGregor's dead, a bitter sweet ending. Talking of umbigious endings, what's your take on Jacob's Ladder???