Family

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Family



No corny acronyms of the word “family”. No cliché Chinese proverbs or silly poems. No witty metaphors, no definitions from Webster, no sugar -coated emotionally-drenched editorials that proclaim love to one’s kin. Nope, that is not what this post is about. This is about reality, the real stuff; the stuff that can boil your blood and crush your heart. It is not going to be a fun thing to read what I have to say here, but hopefully it will be educational and though- provoking. I m going to talk from the heart, from the ‘Id” the thing that makes me who I am and the Father I wish I was. Everyone loses things during their lifetime. I have lost a Father, an Uncle, friends, jobs, innocence, etc… The list goes on, but that is not what I am talking about. Loss can be hard; everyone that has lost something close to them knows this. The thing I seem to have lost is family. Oh not in the horrible sense that they have all died, but in the sense that in is a way, worse. Growing up I had, if nothing else, a concrete hold on what “family” meant to me. The security that if I had a problem; I could go tell Dad, or Mom, and they would fix it or tell me how to fix it on my own. What I am trying to figure out is, where did I go wrong as a Father? Oh I am definitely not looking for pity here, just input. When did the pictures of my children change? I see them when they were younger, their eyes aglow with the knowledge that their parents loved them and cared for them. The knowledge that we are a happy family and nothing could break our resolve. It was definitely gradual, this change from sparkle to gloom in the eyes of my loved ones. Getting a divorce to my wife of 15 years was the start of my families downward tumble into obscurity I am sure, but it was not like a sudden transformation. We had been having trouble for years, nothing terrible, just little things that added up. So we, or rather I, made up my mind that it was time to move on. A younger brother of mine decided to let the shadow of gloom that has cursed our family for the last few years seep into his veins by way of cocaine. He is serving two year’s in jail now, and God help me I am glad he went to jail. He needed a wake up call; if this doesn’t do it for him I fear he is lost to us also. I will not bore you with all the in between stuff, because the list is too long. So, fast-forward to a few weeks ago when I found out that my daughter had been raped by her Youth Pastor when she was nine or ten years old. Until I got this heart rending news I thought we were climbing back from the pits of depression, I thought: hey we are back. The Elliott family is going to tear up the world with our wit and humor and good looks like we once did in the good ‘ol days. The news hit me hard; it flung me back to the bottom of the stairs faster than everything horrible that has ever happened to me or the family before combined. I wonder why she did not tell me. Where did I go wrong to make her not reveal this to me when it happened? I am sure she was scared, embarrassed, sad, etc…, but I cannot help but feel like I failed her somehow. Did I not educate her enough on what things were right and wrong? Did I not shower her with enough paternal care? Family has and will always be my “rock”; unfortunately I seemed to have been the ungrateful. I have seen many awful things in my lifetime, and I cannot say that I am not lucky. Surly I am, living in a free country, where free will is respected...Blah, blah, blah…Are you bored yet? I am, oh not bored with what I am saying but bored with life. Where do I go from here, where does my family go from here? When does the curse become a thing of the past? The weight of depression crushes my shoulders, but guess what? I am not done by a long shot, I am here to stay, bring on the despair, and bring on the bad times, because ya’ know what make the bad times so bad? It is the good times. Ask anyone who has lost a loved one what’s worse, the good memories or the bad? It is always the good memories, they are worse to remember, because they tend to rend the heart, rip it to shreds. When I see my little girl laughing at the age of two, not even knowledgeable of the wicked world out there it hurts so much more than anything else. The funny thing that I have come to realize though is that I would not trade it for anything. The good times make the hard times worse yes, but without them there would only be despair and sorrow. Well I refuse to live in that state, and I refuse to let my “FAMILY” to live in that state of mind. We are going to overcome the hurdles thrown in our path as we have done before. No matter how bad it gets we will succeed. I will never give up on prosecuting those who have done my family wrong, and no matter what the outcome is, in the end my family will be victorious and the bastards that have done my Family wrong will pay in spades, that I promise you .







Dionne…



“Life goes on with or without you, why be 3rd string when you can Quarterback you team (FAMILY) to new heights?”

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P.S. my family really is not that good looking, but do not tell them I said so...
__________________
“The gladdest moment in human life, methinks, is a departure into unknown lands.” – Sir Richard Burton



I got for good luck my black tooth.
Good for you to have a positive additude in the midst of all your troubles. That post was beautifully written and no, I wasn't bored at all reading. I was feeling bad for what your family was going through and now I'll keep the whole lot of you in my prayers and hope every thing gets better.

Note: Try not to let that particular Pastor make you lose your faith in God. Remember he is only one representative and God and a very crappy one at that, But there are so many good ones to balance it out. In short, keep up your hopeful attitude and don't give up.
__________________
"Like all dreamers, Steven mistook disenchantment for truth."



Neither did i feel bored. And from the child's perspective, I can assure you, you've done nothing wrong. Most children, especially those that go through a divorce generally grow distant from their parents. Difficult as it may be to hear. I'm pretty sure they've just gotten to a point in their life where they feel the need to be strong for themselves, which means not asking for help. The good news, is that once they're past it, you will find yourself as close as before. That time will probably come at or after the end of high school. Until then, just do what you've done for the last 14 years, Be a good father, you've had plenty of practice.



Originally Posted by Strummer521
Good for you to have a positive additude in the midst of all your troubles. That post was beautifully written and no, I wasn't bored at all reading. I was feeling bad for what your family was going through and now I'll keep the whole lot of you in my prayers and hope every thing gets better.

Note: Try not to let that particular Pastor make you lose your faith in God. Remember he is only one representative and God and a very crappy one at that, But there are so many good ones to balance it out. In short, keep up your hopeful attitude and don't give up.
Thanks, no I do not pretend to hold God responsible, just the person who did it so no worries on this shaking my faith. Thank you also Eyes for responding with kind words.



Was not sure where to post this so I will just plop it here:

For those of you who are not aware, I own and operate a computer repair/sales shop. Today I had a customer come in wanting some data backed up. Basically my policy is to not pay attention to what I am backing up, it is after all none of my buisness what a customer has on their computer. Well to make a long story short this son of a bitch had child molestation stories all over his computer. Thankfully there was no pictures as by law I would have had to report him. I did not read any of this trash, but unfortunatly the files were named in a way that left no doubt what they were. If you know my history and my thoughts on this subject you have an idea how I probably reacted when he came back and was unhappy that I refused to help him. I am very professional and I even tried to politley tell him to take his buisness to another store. He decided that he wanted to push me on the subject. I will not go into the specifics of what I told him, but I am not sorry I did. I am still a little hot and wanted to vent. Any thoughts on what I should have done, or should do if he returns?



Originally Posted by 7thson
Was not sure where to post this so I will just plop it here:

For those of you who are not aware, I own and operate a computer repair/sales shop. Today I had a customer come in wanting some data backed up. Basically my policy is to not pay attention to what I am backing up, it is after all none of my buisness what a customer has on their computer. Well to make a long story short this son of a bitch had child molestation stories all over his computer. Thankfully there was no pictures as by law I would have had to report him. I did not read any of this trash, but unfortunatly the files were named in a way that left no doubt what they were. If you know my history and my thoughts on this subject you have an idea how I probably reacted when he came back and was unhappy that I refused to help him. I am very professional and I even tried to politley tell him to take his buisness to another store. He decided that he wanted to push me on the subject. I will not go into the specifics of what I told him, but I am not sorry I did. I am still a little hot and wanted to vent. Any thoughts on what I should have done, or should do if he returns?



CyberTipline
__________________
You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough.
~William Blake ~

AiSv Nv wa do hi ya do...
(Walk in Peace)




Originally Posted by Caitlyn
Thanks Caitlyn, I may report this, I am not sure yet. According to everything I have been able to find out is that stories in themselves of this kind of thing is not illegal. Do you have any knowledge of this?



It depends on what he does with the stories… If they are for his own personal use, he's scum, but not violating the law… however, he very well could be distributing them to minors as a means to entice them into sexual acts with him, another adult, or even another child... and one has to question whether or not the stories are all he has... and also where they came from in the first place.



Hi everyone. I have mentioned in the past about a young relative of mine that has been battling cancer. He has recently passed away and I already miss him.. I did not know him as well as I wanted, but he was a joy to be around when I had the chance and I am glad that his suffering over the last few weeks has finally ended. My prayers go to his mother, my niece and their family. I do not want to bring anyone down by sharing this story and although it is sad I want to share how thankful I am for the time he was able to be with us; many other children never make it as long as he did. Bradley also was able to do many things through the make a wish foundation and through many other programs that most children would never get a chance to do. Although that may not seem like a big deal now I know it made him very very happy and that is what was important. God Bless you Bradley and I hope you know we all love you so much.


Bradley Dean Wilson

1999-2006

Bradley D. Wilson, age 6, went home to be with the Lord Friday, May 19, 2006.

Bradley was born November 1, 1999 in Pensacola to Rusty and Melissa Wilson.

Bradley is a "bright shinning beam of sunlight" and a "little boy" in all senses of the word "boy" but never the less a little "gentleman" to all. Bradley never met a stranger and once someone met him, they never forgot him.

Bradley may have lost the battle to neuroblastoma (cancer), but he won the war and is back in the arms of the Lord, who loved him first before he blessed us with loving him and we were truly blessed. God has a new angel.

Bradley is survived by his parents, Rusty and Melissa; brother, Alex and sister, Molley; grandmother, Joyce Guthrie; and grandmother, Lynn Peck.

A Memorial Service will be held at 11:00 a.m., Tuesday, May 23, 2006 at Faith Chapel North-Cantonment with Rev. David Baker officiating. The family will receive friends one hour prior to service.

FAITH CHAPEL FUNERAL HOME NORTH, Cantonment, is in charge of arrangements.



I dont think i was around when this thread first emerged, and i can assure you i had no idea of the kind of things you have been going through. 7th- you have a sense of humor and irony that lights up these boards- and i would have never guessed you had a single care in the world. Thinking back in my own life- however, i can see how depression, exclusion, tragedy, and sadness has shaped my own sense of humor. For me its a defense. For you it seems to be something much more- and i appreciate that.

I also dont think enough of my own experiences to be able to claim that i have any advice to give. Actually- any nugglet of advice i would have given you managed its way into your post anyway. I could share a bit of Confucious, but to what avail? You seem to know how important it is to persevere. If nothing else- you need to show your kids that throwing in the towel is simply not acceptable in life, no matter what happens. You know this, dont you?

Thanks for sharing, pal. I dont know how much this means to you, coming from an internet community- but your words mean a lot to a lot of people, including me, who finds a great deal of inspiration in your tales.

-Z



What can I say... Where do you go with this?

I enjoy reading everyones posts. Most times I am unaware of what exactly I'm starting to read. I always begin by reading a response to something I wrote. Then read the next response find a witty comment and follow the persons tracks and so forth and so forth.

Reading this thread was rather hard I cried within the first few lines. I initially wanted to close it and not look back but you see my Father used to tell me when things get tough you must perservere. People are put Onto our paths for reasons.

I was 5 when my Uncle had raped me, reading the story of your daughter struck a part of me which on some levels has been dealt with and at times is still very raw for the picking. I know for a fact that I had 2 VERY LOVING and CARING parents; who would have killed my uncle had they known. I dont know why I never told them. Maybe it was just the fact that I was scared, afterall my uncle had threatend me. I will never know why. I cant as an adult pin something and say; "Well thats exactly why I never told my Mother or Father", I just know I couldn't.

It is very fortunate that your daughter is still young and still has a family to help her deal with her tragedy. I lost my father to cancer last year, June 10, 2005, coincidence his name was Bradley? He was a strong man who fought with it for over 2 years. There was so many things that I was unable to tell him, I couldnt bear to upset him with my troubles. I think when these things happen a piece of your soul is taken. Your robbed of the strength and sureness you once had. Your daughter... the one who has made you a proud grandfather? well, assuming that is her, is very fortunate to have you. And still be young enough to deal with this situation, before having the traumatic effects of raising a child, dealing with all these fears that an occurance like this causes. Knowing that you have a strong family unit is one of the best blessings one can have, requardless of your marital status.

Im sorry about your hardships and am very glad to see that after everything, you still have a sense of religion and humour!
God Bless

__________________
one cannot live without the other...
Ive tried and realized, theres something about you, something about your ways.... mwah



Originally Posted by 7thson
Family



No corny acronyms of the word “family”. No cliché Chinese proverbs or silly poems. No witty metaphors, no definitions from Webster, no sugar -coated emotionally-drenched editorials that proclaim love to one’s kin. Nope, that is not what this post is about. This is about reality, the real stuff; the stuff that can boil your blood and crush your heart. It is not going to be a fun thing to read what I have to say here, but hopefully it will be educational and though- provoking. I m going to talk from the heart, from the ‘Id” the thing that makes me who I am and the Father I wish I was. Everyone loses things during their lifetime. I have lost a Father, an Uncle, friends, jobs, innocence, etc… The list goes on, but that is not what I am talking about. Loss can be hard; everyone that has lost something close to them knows this. The thing I seem to have lost is family. Oh not in the horrible sense that they have all died, but in the sense that in is a way, worse. Growing up I had, if nothing else, a concrete hold on what “family” meant to me. The security that if I had a problem; I could go tell Dad, or Mom, and they would fix it or tell me how to fix it on my own. What I am trying to figure out is, where did I go wrong as a Father? Oh I am definitely not looking for pity here, just input. When did the pictures of my children change? I see them when they were younger, their eyes aglow with the knowledge that their parents loved them and cared for them. The knowledge that we are a happy family and nothing could break our resolve. It was definitely gradual, this change from sparkle to gloom in the eyes of my loved ones. Getting a divorce to my wife of 15 years was the start of my families downward tumble into obscurity I am sure, but it was not like a sudden transformation. We had been having trouble for years, nothing terrible, just little things that added up. So we, or rather I, made up my mind that it was time to move on. A younger brother of mine decided to let the shadow of gloom that has cursed our family for the last few years seep into his veins by way of cocaine. He is serving two year’s in jail now, and God help me I am glad he went to jail. He needed a wake up call; if this doesn’t do it for him I fear he is lost to us also. I will not bore you with all the in between stuff, because the list is too long. So, fast-forward to a few weeks ago when I found out that my daughter had been raped by her Youth Pastor when she was nine or ten years old. Until I got this heart rending news I thought we were climbing back from the pits of depression, I thought: hey we are back. The Elliott family is going to tear up the world with our wit and humor and good looks like we once did in the good ‘ol days. The news hit me hard; it flung me back to the bottom of the stairs faster than everything horrible that has ever happened to me or the family before combined. I wonder why she did not tell me. Where did I go wrong to make her not reveal this to me when it happened? I am sure she was scared, embarrassed, sad, etc…, but I cannot help but feel like I failed her somehow. Did I not educate her enough on what things were right and wrong? Did I not shower her with enough paternal care? Family has and will always be my “rock”; unfortunately I seemed to have been the ungrateful. I have seen many awful things in my lifetime, and I cannot say that I am not lucky. Surly I am, living in a free country, where free will is respected...Blah, blah, blah…Are you bored yet? I am, oh not bored with what I am saying but bored with life. Where do I go from here, where does my family go from here? When does the curse become a thing of the past? The weight of depression crushes my shoulders, but guess what? I am not done by a long shot, I am here to stay, bring on the despair, and bring on the bad times, because ya’ know what make the bad times so bad? It is the good times. Ask anyone who has lost a loved one what’s worse, the good memories or the bad? It is always the good memories, they are worse to remember, because they tend to rend the heart, rip it to shreds. When I see my little girl laughing at the age of two, not even knowledgeable of the wicked world out there it hurts so much more than anything else. The funny thing that I have come to realize though is that I would not trade it for anything. The good times make the hard times worse yes, but without them there would only be despair and sorrow. Well I refuse to live in that state, and I refuse to let my “FAMILY” to live in that state of mind. We are going to overcome the hurdles thrown in our path as we have done before. No matter how bad it gets we will succeed. I will never give up on prosecuting those who have done my family wrong, and no matter what the outcome is, in the end my family will be victorious and the bastards that have done my Family wrong will pay in spades, that I promise you .







Dionne…



“Life goes on with or without you, why be 3rd string when you can Quarterback you team (FAMILY) to new heights?”

.
.

.
.
.
.
.
P.S. my family really is not that good looking, but do not tell them I said so...
If I were you I would track down that Pastor and beat him to a bloody pulp. But, that's just me.



Originally Posted by screentoclose
If I were you I would track down that Pastor and beat him to a bloody pulp. But, that's just me.

Then he'd get sent to jail, which might well be even worse for his daughter.