How do you have sex

aww..............aww..................aww..............cuf cuf cuf!

__________________
We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

__________________

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of
barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: <logged off>

awwww..


now..do i really look like a homosexual???? thats AWESOME since homosexualities trademark is hot looking guys you must think im homosexual because im really good looking. Thanks LS, like ive said many times before you're my favorite.

__________________

Δύο άτομα. Μια μάχη. Κανένας συμβιβασμός.

Here's a cyber-sex gag me (JohnKimble26) and my friend Anthony (I Milk Badgers) had with this weirdo from Michigan:

This conversation I had I teamed up with my friend Anthony Novak. We decided to grab one stupid fag out of a gay chat room and tell him we were 10 and 13 year olds who were new to sex altogther. I Milk Badgers is Anthony, and MichiganROCKET06 is the fag, who we refer to as Mich.

The conversation:

You have just entered room "chat19735568423914429623."
I Milk Badgers has entered the room.
MichiganROCKET06 has entered the room.
JohnKimble26: ASL ALL@!
JohnKimble26: BADGERS, I NO U BUT FOR OUR NEATO FRIEND HERE, do tell
JohnKimble26: im liking him
I Milk Badgers: im 10
I Milk Badgers: and male
JohnKimble26: yeah
JohnKimble26: 13 here
MichiganROCKET06: im 17 male michigan
JohnKimble26: kick ass!
JohnKimble26: city?
MichiganROCKET06: do you guys want to meet in real life
I Milk Badgers: you like my body?
MichiganROCKET06: i live in trenton
JohnKimble26: well lets see how good u r
JohnKimble26: in cyber
MichiganROCKET06: ook
JohnKimble26: that will explain all, right badger?
I Milk Badgers: yes it will
I Milk Badgers: just like the last guy
JohnKimble26: remember how we did this to dooey64?
I Milk Badgers: he was really good
I Milk Badgers: ya
I Milk Badgers: oh god
JohnKimble26: dooey was amazing. both in cyber and in bed. what a night, eh, badger?
I Milk Badgers: he was huge!
JohnKimble26: ok
JohnKimble26: mich, im calling u that now, k?
MichiganROCKET06: k
JohnKimble26: lets get started.
JohnKimble26: i walk into a room wearing a leather outfit with crotchless chaps
JohnKimble26: i look behind me as the door opens, revealing...
I Milk Badgers: i woalk through the door with nothing on but my pokemon book back an under shirt and a polo shirt over it and a pair og kaki jeans on
JohnKimble26: i smile. mich walks in, wearing...
JohnKimble26: mich?
I Milk Badgers: mich??
MichiganROCKET06: i come in wearing a tight muscle shirt and some tight jeans
JohnKimble26: OH GOD
I Milk Badgers: what kind of jeans?
JohnKimble26: please none
JohnKimble26: tell me none, right?
MichiganROCKET06: none
I Milk Badgers: none really?
I Milk Badgers: where did you buy them?
MichiganROCKET06: really
JohnKimble26: oh badger
JohnKimble26: stop!
I Milk Badgers: huh?
JohnKimble26: silly gander u r
I Milk Badgers: oh hes not wearing anything
I Milk Badgers: i get it
I Milk Badgers: sorry:-X
MichiganROCKET06: lol
JohnKimble26: obviously they're from penny's!
I Milk Badgers: ohh
I Milk Badgers: i like pennys
JohnKimble26: anywho, i approach mich
I Milk Badgers: why?
I Milk Badgers: ohh
MichiganROCKET06: i get a slight smile on my face
I Milk Badgers: i begin
I Milk Badgers: to remove my book bag
I Milk Badgers: then i start to take of thes oh so loose fiting jeans
I Milk Badgers: to reveal my deirable thighs
MichiganROCKET06: my bulge grows in my pants
I Milk Badgers: no wim wearing nothing but 2 shirts and a pair of breifs and boxers
I Milk Badgers: its so big
I Milk Badgers: like a mountain
MichiganROCKET06: i cants stop staring
I Milk Badgers: i begin to remove one of my shirts and my pair of boxers
I Milk Badgers: now all i have on are breifs and a shirt
I Milk Badgers: i begin to jump
I Milk Badgers: ALOT
JohnKimble26: i start to take off my drenched in swaeat leater boots and clothing
JohnKimble26: i start to do back flips naked
JohnKimble26: singing YMCA by the sexiest group ever
I Milk Badgers: i start take off my shirt and walk a tight rope
MichiganROCKET06: i feel the urge to join in and tear my shirt of and take off my pants and begin doing cartwheels
JohnKimble26: we all fall into a huge, heart shaped bed with black and pink sheets filled with white stains
I Milk Badgers: i then take off my tight breifs and ask
I Milk Badgers: "wanna tame my lion"
JohnKimble26: i take out a whip, and say, "bad lions ought to be punished"
JohnKimble26: i ask mich to hold down badger
I Milk Badgers: my "lion" splits in half a little and begins to bleed
MichiganROCKET06: i grab him and hold him down
JohnKimble26: i miss and whip mich in the face, making it look cuter
I Milk Badgers: i lay on the ground an dbegin to wonder what events led me to here
JohnKimble26: i say, remember ur tea?
I Milk Badgers: maybe it was because of my lack of a father
I Milk Badgers: but i dont care
I Milk Badgers: cause my dicks so hard!
JohnKimble26: i massage badger's badger
I Milk Badgers: milk me baby!
MichiganROCKET06: i begin to like badgers cock
I Milk Badgers: badger begins to feel self concious naked
JohnKimble26: i get out a wooden spoon
JohnKimble26: and fondles badgers anus
I Milk Badgers: so he puts dr pepper cans over his nipples
MichiganROCKET06: i begin to lick badgers cock faster and faster
I Milk Badgers: oh yes
I Milk Badgers: if eels like i put my cock on a wet treadmill!
JohnKimble26: i begin to lather up and shave badges butt cheeks
JohnKimble26: winking to mr. brown eye
MichiganROCKET06: i keep sucking wanting the cum
I Milk Badgers: oh god yes!
JohnKimble26: whats taking so long i wonder?
I Milk Badgers: wheres the cum
I Milk Badgers: say wheres the cum!!!
I Milk Badgers: pleease
I Milk Badgers: say iit!
I Milk Badgers: say avoid the cum noid
JohnKimble26: SAY IT!
JohnKimble26: Mich, im feeling a let down in u...
MichiganROCKET06: avoid the cum noid
JohnKimble26: SCORE!
JohnKimble26: i run off and get the anal lube.
JohnKimble26: mich, would u do the honors?
MichiganROCKET06: yes i would
JohnKimble26: MICH
JohnKimble26: grab it
MichiganROCKET06: i grab it
JohnKimble26: and do whatever it takes to make my stinky hold smelly with ur semen again
JohnKimble26: badger, grab the g.i. joe action figures
JohnKimble26: BADGER
I Milk Badgers: got it!
I Milk Badgers: hes ribbed
I Milk Badgers: for your pleasure;-)
JohnKimble26: alright, Mich, grab the jeep
JohnKimble26: from Badger
I Milk Badgers: mitch
JohnKimble26: MCIH
JohnKimble26: GRAB THE JEEP
MichiganROCKET06 has left the room.
JohnKimble26: GAY
I Milk Badgers: what the ****
I Milk Badgers: did he find some 6 year olds
JohnKimble26: who nos
JohnKimble26: hold on
JohnKimble26: try to bring him BACK
I Milk Badgers: ok
MichiganROCKET06 has entered the room.
JohnKimble26: mich wants to have sex with us
JohnKimble26: r u sure ur 17?
MichiganROCKET06: yes im sure im 17
JohnKimble26: k
JohnKimble26: u want to have sex with me and badgers?
MichiganROCKET06: yup
JohnKimble26: k
JohnKimble26: badger, can ur mom drive us this time?
I Milk Badgers: umm
I Milk Badgers: probably
JohnKimble26: she drove us to dooeys house
I Milk Badgers: ill ask her if she wants to takeus to have sex
MichiganROCKET06: how old was dooey
JohnKimble26: gooey dooey... lol
I Milk Badgers: lol
JohnKimble26: dooeys no longer with us. he had aids
I Milk Badgers: damn he could blow alright
I Milk Badgers: ha
I Milk Badgers: ya*
JohnKimble26: luckilly were clean
I Milk Badgers: ya
JohnKimble26: dooey was 7
I Milk Badgers: most likley
JohnKimble26: so where do u live?
JohnKimble26: we live in detroit
JohnKimble26: by the niggers
MichiganROCKET06: how do you guys know your clean
JohnKimble26: we took tests
I Milk Badgers: cause
I Milk Badgers: we took a bath
JohnKimble26: the bath was fun!
JohnKimble26: badger touched me
I Milk Badgers: ya i know!!
JohnKimble26: hey mich, want to hear a cool thing?
I Milk Badgers: bubbles got in all of my holes
MichiganROCKET06: sure
JohnKimble26: i just discoverd masterbation
JohnKimble26: no joke
MichiganROCKET06: its wonderful isnt it
I Milk Badgers: whats that?
JohnKimble26: badgers, u no what that is?
I Milk Badgers: is that
I Milk Badgers: those white people
JohnKimble26: its when u have ur dadddy or mommy rub ur pp in a fast motion
I Milk Badgers: who owned slaves?
JohnKimble26: and u let own shaving cream
JohnKimble26: and shave with it
I Milk Badgers: ohhh
JohnKimble26: at least thats what my dadddy did
JohnKimble26: only he called it jacking altho im sure its masterbation
I Milk Badgers: my mommy mentioned that
I Milk Badgers: jacking?
I Milk Badgers: like a ajck hammer?
JohnKimble26: idk
JohnKimble26: i guessJohnKimble26: jack hammer!
JohnKimble26: lol
MichiganROCKET06: lol
JohnKimble26: anywho, where do u want to meet?
JohnKimble26: brb
JohnKimble26: tigers
I Milk Badgers: where do you want to meet
I Milk Badgers: i can have my mommy take us
I Milk Badgers: or my uncle
I Milk Badgers: hes a fireman
MichiganROCKET06: how do you talk these people into taking you
I Milk Badgers: i just tell my mom
JohnKimble26: yeah
I Milk Badgers: to take me to these places to use the bathroom
JohnKimble26: his moms the bestes
I Milk Badgers: she knows what it means
I Milk Badgers: she lets us "use the bathroom"
MichiganROCKET06: and she doesnt care
I Milk Badgers: we have to use codes like that around my brother
JohnKimble26: she has a lot of hair. so much it covers her pp, which is really small cuz i have yet to c it
I Milk Badgers: hes a cop
JohnKimble26: do girls have pps, mich?
I Milk Badgers: ya they do
MichiganROCKET06: no
I Milk Badgers: they dont>
JohnKimble26: ?
MichiganROCKET06: no they never did
I Milk Badgers: my mom does
JohnKimble26: yeah
JohnKimble26: my daddy doesnt no that i think about it
JohnKimble26: what do girls have then
MichiganROCKET06: they have what is called a vagina
JohnKimble26: isnt that a state?
I Milk Badgers: my moms pp is in her dresser
MichiganROCKET06: thats a dildo badgers
JohnKimble26: i thought vagina was a state
I Milk Badgers: hoe do you get your pp off?
I Milk Badgers: ya it is
JohnKimble26: o ok
I Milk Badgers: thats where my aunt lives
JohnKimble26: mich, ur talking crazy
MichiganROCKET06: no virginia is a state and vagina is a body part
JohnKimble26: oh
JohnKimble26: virginia!
MichiganROCKET06: lol
I Milk Badgers: how does my mom take off her pp?
I Milk Badgers: is she a wizard?
JohnKimble26: my daddy talks about how he lost virginia in a bet he had with his friends
JohnKimble26: something about a girl
JohnKimble26: and sex
JohnKimble26: what was he talking about mich
JohnKimble26: u seem to no all and r really cool
I Milk Badgers: ya
I Milk Badgers: i love mitch
MichiganROCKET06: lol thanks
JohnKimble26: b4 we can meet, we have more questions about bodies
MichiganROCKET06: k
JohnKimble26: what did my daddy mean by losing his virginia?
MichiganROCKET06: it was prolly a girl he knew who was named virginia and wanted to have sex with her but she did not want to with him
JohnKimble26: but he said he lost his virginia
JohnKimble26: to a girl when he was 15
JohnKimble26: he owned virginia? wow he must be rich
MichiganROCKET06: oh you mean virginity
JohnKimble26: no virginia silly
I Milk Badgers: ohhhhh
MichiganROCKET06: no virginity. its something that people are called before they have sex
JohnKimble26: o
I Milk Badgers: why?
JohnKimble26: yeahy
JohnKimble26: i dont get it
I Milk Badgers: whos sex?
JohnKimble26: sex
JohnKimble26: duh!
MichiganROCKET06: so they can know the difference between if you have had sex or not
I Milk Badgers: ohhhh
JohnKimble26: its whenever ur mommy takes us to that bar with those naked guys
JohnKimble26: theyre nice to us, mich. u should come with u
JohnKimble26: s
I Milk Badgers: ohhhh ya
I Milk Badgers: i get it now
I Milk Badgers: when you have sex is it true you become addicted to ciggerettes?
JohnKimble26: and drugs?
MichiganROCKET06: no but you become addicted to sex
I Milk Badgers: is that a brand of ciggerettes?
MichiganROCKET06: no SEX!
I Milk Badgers: ohhhh
JohnKimble26: what is sex? i always thought it was just some adult thing that adults do
I Milk Badgers: ya
JohnKimble26: u no, sleep naked. nothing else
I Milk Badgers: i thouhgt it was using the computer
MichiganROCKET06: actually what sex is
JohnKimble26: wait i was wrong?
I Milk Badgers: but only when it you have a wirless mouse
JohnKimble26: well badger then we were way off
I Milk Badgers: oh no
JohnKimble26: whats sex. mich?
I Milk Badgers: i feel stupid now:-(
MichiganROCKET06: is when a man and a woman get naked and the man puts his penis inside her vagina until he cums in her
JohnKimble26: cum?
JohnKimble26: dont u mean gum?
I Milk Badgers: how much gum and what kind?
MichiganROCKET06: its white gooey stuff that comes out of your cock
I Milk Badgers: i like juicy fruit
JohnKimble26: and whos this vagina charater?
I Milk Badgers: ya
I Milk Badgers: isnt that a state?
JohnKimble26: oh no mich that white stuff is shaving cream my dad showed me
MichiganROCKET06: its the body part on a woman
JohnKimble26: but wait wheres her pp
JohnKimble26: im so confused!
I Milk Badgers: ya?
MichiganROCKET06: girls dont have one
I Milk Badgers: do you have a vagina mich?
JohnKimble26: i think i do
MichiganROCKET06: no i have a cock
JohnKimble26: oh a rooster!
JohnKimble26: is it named rocky?
I Milk Badgers: are you a farmer?
I Milk Badgers: my uncle is
MichiganROCKET06: no its a nick name for guys penis
JohnKimble26: no badg he lives in michican
I Milk Badgers: he has corn on his
I Milk Badgers: ohhhhh
JohnKimble26: so whats a nick name for a girls virginia?
I Milk Badgers: well i thought you need a vaguna to make sex
JohnKimble26: vaguna?
MichiganROCKET06: you mean vagina
JohnKimble26: i thought it was virginia
I Milk Badgers: ya
I Milk Badgers: ohh
MichiganROCKET06: the nickname is pussy
I Milk Badgers: liek the state?
JohnKimble26: a girl has a pussy cat?
JohnKimble26: thats got to hurt
MichiganROCKET06: no just pussy
JohnKimble26: o
I Milk Badgers: huh?
JohnKimble26: i think i get it
I Milk Badgers: so you mean
I Milk Badgers: all girls
I Milk Badgers: have a rare species of cat
JohnKimble26: do girls let out that shaving cream like guys do whenever my daddy uses my pp to get his shaving cream?
I Milk Badgers: thats only called a pussy
MichiganROCKET06: girls dont squirt out shaving cream
JohnKimble26: what do they squirt out then
I Milk Badgers: is it dr pepper?
MichiganROCKET06: nothing it stays inside them
I Milk Badgers: cause
I Milk Badgers: my mom buys that
JohnKimble26: waht stays inside
I Milk Badgers: the dr pepper does?
MichiganROCKET06: the shaveing cream
I Milk Badgers: phh
JohnKimble26: oh man mr rogers never taught us this
I Milk Badgers: how do they shave then?
JohnKimble26: yeah
JohnKimble26: how do they
JohnKimble26: do they use our shaving cream?
MichiganROCKET06: look go to this web site and watch the movie
JohnKimble26: but wait! doenst our cream eventually run out? daddy will get angry if i run out
JohnKimble26: daddy has a hitting problem
MichiganROCKET06: it never runs out
JohnKimble26: did i mention daddy has no pp?
JohnKimble26: i no badgers mom does
I Milk Badgers: ya
I Milk Badgers: my mom does
I Milk Badgers: its in here dresser
JohnKimble26: my daddy sticks this white tube up into this thingy above his butthole
MichiganROCKET06: go to www.lolitampegs.com
JohnKimble26: i cant its blocked
I Milk Badgers: there was one site
MichiganROCKET06: well then connect with me i will send you a pic of a pussy
I Milk Badgers: is this sex?
I Milk Badgers: www.****eaters.com
JohnKimble26: oh yeah
JohnKimble26: ha ha
JohnKimble26: poop!
JohnKimble26: poop is funny
I Milk Badgers: is there poop imn sex?
JohnKimble26: but wait why does daddy shove a white tube up his butt, mich? it comes out bloody
JohnKimble26: its gross
I Milk Badgers: mich?
MichiganROCKET06: yea
JohnKimble26: hey i found out what a virginia is
I Milk Badgers: really?
JohnKimble26: mich why does my daddy shove a white tube up his... vagina... and it comes out bloody?
MichiganROCKET06: that i would have to explain in person
JohnKimble26: k
JohnKimble26: well, lets meet in person
JohnKimble26: but first, i have more questions. do u care
MichiganROCKET06: no
JohnKimble26: k
I Milk Badgers: so
I Milk Badgers: what do you want to do with us?
I Milk Badgers: when you meet?
JohnKimble26: yeah
I Milk Badgers: we meet*
JohnKimble26: what r u gonna do to us
JohnKimble26: im excited to no
I Milk Badgers: tell us then we can meet
JohnKimble26: wait give us ur number
JohnKimble26: then tell us all
MichiganROCKET06: im going to get you guys naked then kiss you guys all over and suck your penises and then i am going to stick my cock in your butt and have sex
JohnKimble26: wait whats sex again
JohnKimble26: oh yeah
JohnKimble26: but wait
JohnKimble26: were not girls!
MichiganROCKET06: look when we meet i will explain step by step and go slow with everything
I Milk Badgers: weve tracked it
JohnKimble26: good job, Officer Nagren.
JohnKimble26: mich, or whoever you are, this is the Detroit Police Department.
JohnKimble26: You are under arrest for sexually soliciticing two children.
JohnKimble26: we have your ip address and address to your house
MichiganROCKET06 has left the room.

__________________
Everything I do, I do to make my second stepdad proud.

I didn't read all of that but what I did read was . You actually like playing jokes like that? Weird.

__________________
"Like all dreamers, Steven mistook disenchantment for truth."

Some people have very bizarre senses of humor

Here's a gag one I found on a website, it's pretty silly be warned:

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: ****** am I hard now.

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Concert Tab!! MOFO poetry Been Dreaming Lately?

Moviemaker, never post anything like that ever again, its ****ing twisted and sick, at least the stuff i read was

I'm with ya Pyro, I couldn't read most of it.

pretty funny

You have to read the end. There's a twist at the end.

Ah ****, they twist it too? That's just wrong.

A mate of mine at uni once posed as an internet lady-of-the-night and made this daft lad come three times in a row, via three different sites, revealing that he was really a man after each 'episode'. Was that wrong too? (at least he didn't pretend to be a rhino )

[we were fairly sure the guy wasn't faking it. His typing always became really atrocious towards the end ]

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Virtual Reality chatter on a movie site? Got endless amounts of it here. Reviews over here

Are you talking about mine?

You're a very very sad frog :/

correction, a frog.

How did sunfrog, with 1,000 posts+, end up posting this thread?

*suspects foul play*

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We're soldiers. Soldiers don't go to hell. It's war. Soldiers, they kill other soldiers. We're in a situation where everybody involved knows the stakes. And if you're gonna accept those stakes... You gotta do certain things. It's business, we're soldiers. We follow codes... Orders.

It's a fair question, but it is in the same manner that SC posts some of the threads he does. People enjoy it enough that it's tolerable, though he walks a fine line.

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: ****** am I hard now.

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“The gladdest moment in human life, methinks, is a departure into unknown lands.” – Sir Richard Burton

LMAO!!! Thats some of the funniest stuff I've read on these boards! This is a pretty weird post from someone with that many post.