MoFo Fantasy Baseball '16 - The Regular Season

I want all the guys on my roster to start playing like Carlos Correa right now. This instant! Oy.
I was right about HanRam, and wrong to lose him AND Scherzer. If Miggy wins the Triple Crown, well Ill retract my retraction. Again.
It doesnt matter now its too soon It doesnt matter now its too soon.... Breathe in, breathe out.

I have conferred with my experts, and I am staying pat. No not the SNL character Pat, but just not doing anything drastic with my team. For awhile. Ill wait. Ill wait.

Jason Hammel just did an impressive piece of business @ Arizona, 6ip, 6Ks, 1.50 ERA, 1.15 Whip, and the QS. Very impressive piece of business.

Tomorrow 3 pitchers - Cal Handle @ LAA, Drew Smyly @ Bal, & Joe Ross vs Mia. If all three do well I may move out of the cellar. Thatd be nice

The Rays are in Baltimore. Its snowing in Baltimore.

Volquez gets 10 Ks but gets pulled after 5.2 innings, just missing his QS.

*Shakes fist*

__________________

Let's wait until later in the season before we declare a winner haha

Justin Verlander today. Yikes. I was disappointed that I didn't get him on my team this year, but he had a rough go against the Buccos. Meanwhile, Andrew Cashner is still, inexplicably, in my employ.

I finally get a stolen bag. Not DeShields, Dyson, Machado, or Odor...Albert! Albert Pujols got me a bag Ill take it, he had a cold start.

Thor is pretty good, eh?

Anyone need some RPs? Looking for starters

Its too bad we couldnt work out a deal man.

Anyone needing an SP, I need a Closer.

Still last place I dont get it, my team looks better than all of yalls too. Really hoping for a nice surge, cmooon! I know its too early but last place is last place

Tomorrow I have Chris Archer, and hes at home against Cleveland. This pic has never failed me NEVER! Everytime I posted the Picard, it delivered. Its like Ted Knights Billy Barou golf club, cmon billy.....

Chris Archer -

I was last to start last year and held third for most of the year until falling to fifth.

I think I was second to last at the break one year and finished in second. It really means very little at this point.

QUACK!

On a related note, it's kind of unsettling how Googling "duck with sunglasses" produces more results than you could possibly ever hope to need.

I know. I know it doesnt matter at all this early.

Its just being in last place kinda rustles my jimmies, I dont like it

The Picard finally failed me, Archer had a tough outing which wasnt anywhere near as bad as his first 2, but couldnt get to 6ip - no QS, and his Whip was fat.

I forgot all about the holds category.

Scherzer/Fernandez off to middling starts for me. Carlos Rodon, Danny Salazar, and Vince Velasquez post 21 IP, 0.00 ERA, 0.67 WHIP, 31 K's, 3 QS's. Velasquez is the real hero, though. Sixteen K, CG, 3-hitter; I can't believe the Phils got Velasquez as part of the package for Ken Giles.