I made a “neon” noir short film for Noirvember
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Feel free to remind me tomorrow if I haven't posted thoughts. Not like i have plans or fancy things like that.
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As mentioned already, the strengths are to be found most in the lighting and the editing, and if there are problems it is in that devil called 'sound'. It's generally the thing I notice as being the problem in most of the lower budget and independent films I watch, and the element most likely to undermine. But even with my extremely limited personal experience with such things (I have helped people on film projects in college before, but that's about it) I'm very aware of all the challenges it can pose. It seems like an impossible task to get exactly right.
My favorite elements are the opening shot, pulling back from the broken pain of glass in the door, and the series of edits that build during the silence before the gun is first shown. Working with silence can be just as tricky to pull off as convincing sound, and the silence works here, building tension, but also simultaneously feeling loose but structured. There is one shot that I'm not sure of though. It comes when she says 'I guess I should thank you for that'. It seems to break up the traditional rhythm and composition of what came before it, and I can't tell if I like that it disrupts that flow, because it gives the moment a kind of soft punctuation, or if it takes me out of the moment. Ponder ponder.
Anyways, even if it does not match the towering cinematic feats of Rambling Man, this is good stuff.
Keep it up.
My favorite elements are the opening shot, pulling back from the broken pain of glass in the door, and the series of edits that build during the silence before the gun is first shown. Working with silence can be just as tricky to pull off as convincing sound, and the silence works here, building tension, but also simultaneously feeling loose but structured. There is one shot that I'm not sure of though. It comes when she says 'I guess I should thank you for that'. It seems to break up the traditional rhythm and composition of what came before it, and I can't tell if I like that it disrupts that flow, because it gives the moment a kind of soft punctuation, or if it takes me out of the moment. Ponder ponder.
Anyways, even if it does not match the towering cinematic feats of Rambling Man, this is good stuff.
Keep it up.
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As mentioned already, the strengths are to be found most in the lighting and the editing, and if there are problems it is in that devil called 'sound'. It's generally the thing I notice as being the problem in most of the lower budget and independent films I watch, and the element most likely to undermine. But even with my extremely limited personal experience with such things (I have helped people on film projects in college before, but that's about it) I'm very aware of all the challenges it can pose. It seems like an impossible task to get exactly right.
My favorite elements are the opening shot, pulling back from the broken pain of glass in the door, and the series of edits that build during the silence before the gun is first shown. Working with silence can be just as tricky to pull off as convincing sound, and the silence works here, building tension, but also simultaneously feeling loose but structured. There is one shot that I'm not sure of though. It comes when she says 'I guess I should thank you for that'. It seems to break up the traditional rhythm and composition of what came before it, and I can't tell if I like that it disrupts that flow, because it gives the moment a kind of soft punctuation, or if it takes me out of the moment. Ponder ponder.
Anyways, even if it does not match the towering cinematic feats of Rambling Man, this is good stuff. Keep it up.
My favorite elements are the opening shot, pulling back from the broken pain of glass in the door, and the series of edits that build during the silence before the gun is first shown. Working with silence can be just as tricky to pull off as convincing sound, and the silence works here, building tension, but also simultaneously feeling loose but structured. There is one shot that I'm not sure of though. It comes when she says 'I guess I should thank you for that'. It seems to break up the traditional rhythm and composition of what came before it, and I can't tell if I like that it disrupts that flow, because it gives the moment a kind of soft punctuation, or if it takes me out of the moment. Ponder ponder.
Anyways, even if it does not match the towering cinematic feats of Rambling Man, this is good stuff.
Keep it up.You’re the 2nd person to point out the opening shot. It makes me VERY pleased to hear as I figured no one would notice but that single 10 sec shot was a few hours, with lighting, making sure the lights and camera weren’t in the shot, operating the smoke machine and digitally adding the broken pane. I kept thinking “no one will even notice” but I knew I wanted to get it right.
The meeting on the stairs was the most important scene and it was difficult to get enough coverage (I’m mad I didn’t get a close up of her hand on his chest) and find the rhythm to cut to. Originally had matching shots of each intercut (his eyes and her eyes ) then realized it dramatically undercut him not having it so I did a her then him edit which stayed.
I’m gonna make the executive decision and say you like that she interrupts the flow. Scratch that. You love it.
One day, I’ll adapt Rambling Man myself. Then we’ll see.
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Just watched all three. Especially liked Sangre Dulce but all three are pretty impressive 
Thanks!!!
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