Rate The Last Movie You Saw

Paging Wooley:
I watched this tonight based on your review from a few weeks ago. Any chance you saved that? I'd like to read it again.

I don't always have patience for things of this nature. I wouldn't argue with someone that found this self-indulgent and obnoxious, but I found it went down really smooth. Before I knew it the film was half-over. And as someone that considers the 70s to be my "home base" in terms of pop culture, my comfort zone, those final 20 minutes were sheer bliss. It was kind of a rough week, but watching two kids doing The Bump on top of a station wagon made it all better. Nice find, friend!

7/10

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Captain's Log
My Collection

one of the good movies

Cannibal Ferox (1981)

By modern standards, the violence is rather tame, and the story isn't that great either. It has some charm still, and I absolutely loved the ending. There's some real animal cruelty, but even that's been blown off the proportions.

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I'm a massive horror fan and have seen so many disturbing films over the past few decades. I have heard that this is a notoriously graphic film and whilst I’m always keen to give a movie a chance, this is one that I’m just not bothered about catching up on. I love Italian splatter movies but this I have no interest for.

Likewise. I watched Human Centipede and it was at that point that I thought, ‘You know what, that’ll do for now’.

(Sadly, didn't save anything from Corri.)

Yeah, I didn't know how this was gonna go and there was a brief lull maybe 1/3 of the way through when I thought they may have lost me but I was really glad I stuck it out and yeah, you're right, the last 20 minutes are so rewarding. I knew I liked my new girlfriend when I showed her the big dance finale and she loved it.

Given the premise, I thought the first Human Centipede was surprisingly tame, and a pretty solid horror thriller to boot. Dieter Laser is excellent as the mad doctor. Now the other two...

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Visually and graphically speaking, I felt that the worst parts were the animal scenes; and maybe it wasn't necessarily a matter of how graphic they were, but rather that we know it was true. There are indeed graphic scenes against "humans", but the ones that stuck with me were the animals.

Yes, in a way. I didn’t find it that bad, but it was pretty crazy. Then again, when I first saw it - not kidding! - my mother was asleep in a hotel room bed ten feet away. The combination of these factors made it seem worse than it was. The second one is more brutal and good meta-fiction (which I love), but I thought HCIII descended into self-parody, and therefore had less shock value. Not that you’ll be shocked once you know what it’s about. Hard to tell by now, it was a while back.

MARUJA (1959)
A film from Puerto Rico



Last week we celebrated the so-called "discovery" of our island, or rather Columbus' arrival, so I felt it was appropriate to watch a local film, and more appropriate, to "discover" something classic, and that I did. Maruja is one of the first feature films filmed and produced here in Puerto Rico that achieved some level of popularity. The film follows the titular character (Marta Romero), a young woman that everybody in town is smitten with; something that she takes advantage of, despite being newly married to an older, humble barber.

For numerous reasons, economical, sociopolitical, etc. the film industry here hasn't been as successful or prolific as other Latin American or Caribbean regions. As a result, many local projects are often unfairly dismissed as "lesser". Maybe that inherent "low self-esteem" about our own "products" is why I was pleasantly surprised by this, or perhaps it was really that good. The direction by Oscar Orzábal Quintana was for the most part clean and fluid, with some great choices in terms of shots, framing, cinematography, and mise en scene.

The story, despite some typical romantic melodrama of the era, also managed to be quite good and a bit ahead of its time. Despite being almost two hours, the film is engaging and the pace feels breezy. There are also a couple of twists towards the end that really caught me off guard. Maybe the last act that follows is hindered a bit by the aftermath, but not very much. The performances are mostly OK, with Romero being the standout. But Axel Anderson, as one of her wannabe paramours, also shines.

What saddens me is the following: This film was released 60 years ago, and it barely gets mentioned here, let alone elsewhere. The only place where I could find it was on YouTube, via some uploaded videos by some random movie fan like me. Like it, there have been tons of local films that have came and went, with few or no support at all from the local media/TV stations, the government, or anyone. As a proud Puerto Rican and a cinephile, I wish there were more efforts put in place to distribute and promote our art and culture. One can only hope.

Grade:

Game Night (2011)


I’m doing my best to find a post-90’s comedy I can appreciate, but so far, to no avail. This was watchable, but that’ll be my last comedy for the next six months. Also bizarre to see Bateman in a comedic role post-Ozark. Feels like an impostor.

I kinda get what Six wanted to make with the second one, by putting it in stark contrast with the first one, but I don't think he pulled it off. I do think that, like the first one, the performance of the antagonist (Laurence R. Harvey) was perfect for the material.

As for the third one, I agree. I just found it downright horrible, loud, and annoying in almost every aspect.

Snakes On A Plane, 2006 (D)

What an overwhelmingly unremarkable movie. About 3-5 total minutes of setup, then you meet the stock characters, then the snakes, then at least 30-45 minutes of yelling, then the stock characters try to act like anyone cares about them, problem gets solved, plane lands, happy endings all around. Whoever wrote that one line better have had his salary tripled because it did so much work for this trash movie.

Yeah, was quite a "swinging" look at cop and hippie interactions. Quite an average film I thought with a shocking (and brilliant) pay off.

Where Eagles Dare - This has somehow become my go-to WWII related film. It doesn't necessarily have the overwhelming star power of something like The Dirty Dozen or the grittiness of something like Fury or the boldness of Inglorious Basterds. But it does have an original script by Alistair MacLean and the surprisingly compatible pairing of Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood. The British put together a covert mission to rescue an American general being held at a mountaintop fortress accessible only by cable car. There's a heavy dose of espionage like intrigue along with Burton and Eastwood more or less decimating the German army. 90/100

The Prophecy (1995)

Ah yes. One of cinema's greatest moments, I can never get tired of this movie.

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There has been an awekening.... have you felt it?

Maelström (2000)




I wasn’t a fan of the fish, but otherwise, good stuff, ending quite original. Man in the bar/on the tube made me think of Breaking Bad & Jane’s father.

I think you meant .

I mean, Christopher Walken wants to

In all seriousness, the film has just enough personality and quirky touches (like Adam Goldberg and Amanda Plummer as the unwilling reanimated assistants, or the way that the angles are able to defy physics and perch like birds) that I kind of love it. The story is bonkers but coherent, and the leads are enjoyable.

Sus (2010)

Film from a play that suffers and benefits from restricted space as many of the same adaptations do. In this case a black murder suspect brought in by the Metropolitan Police in London on the evening of Thatcher's election victory (1979) for interrogation. Strong, as you'd expect. and uncompromising language with 3 excellent performances.