The Zombie Armageddon Thread

What can the governments do about it?

It's not gonna be like the zombie films where they all dig their way out of the ground. A virus will spread EVERYWHERE -- but when it gets inside funeral homes and hospitals, the newly deceased will get up and start walking around. You won't see a lot of dead people walking around, but every town will have their own sort of zombie group that people will see going down the road.

It's going to lead to mandatory cremation for everybody. There will be no more cemetaries after this. In fact, there won't even be funerals for the dead - once someone dies, they are automatically cremated.

This will actually turn into a GREAT thing because it'll advance science -- they'll figure out how to make people live longer - up to 300 years old.

It's going to be pretty messy, but basically, they will all be captured. Some will sort of be "grinded up" and shot into space -- others will simply be cremated. Most are going into space, except for a couple of thousand that scientists will study, which will lead to prolonged life for living people.

I told you - only the newly dead will be walking around. There will still be billions of living people working.

I won't be alive, though - and I won't become a zombie because I'm already planning on cremation. I'm dying on August 12, 2017, by the way.

They will travel in packs?

Wait a minute. What about traditionalists who object to cremation for religious reasons? What about other cultures that are intimately connected with various death rituals and funerals? Won't there be some harsh blowback against mandatory cremation and no funeral proceedings?

So what will that do to the population of Earth?

Hmm. If I die during the zombie holocaust, I wonder if my family will have a problem with the government shooting my reanimated body into space without consulting them. I wonder if they'll smuggle me out to the countryside in secret so that they can still enjoy my company (and perhaps occasionally play ring toss with my head). But you already know the answer to that, don't you?

Uh-huh. With banjos.

The official news for those people will be: Too bad.

In regards to people living a lot longer -- don't you understand that this is the future? People will be living on the moon by then, and soon after, Mars. Many will even live in space stations.

Things like that will happen, but not to you.

I do see you messing around with this dead girl named Lily. STAY AWAY FROM LILY, SLEEZY! YOU'LL UPSET HER BROTHER!

I see. So even though the zombie holocaust will be nothing like the movies, future colonization and space travel will be exactly like the movies.

Thanks for telling me. That could have been disastrous. So, now that I've made a conscious decision to stay away from dead girls named Lily for the rest of my life, has that particular event been erased from my future?

The only thing the movies never get right is that Whoopi Goldberg is gonna snap and buy the moon ten years from now. See, she's gonna make Sister Act 3 soon and what many people are gonna be in a shock for is the Sister Act franchise is gonna be the new Barbie -- toys, convent dollhouses, you name it -- and Whoopi will then be able to afford to buy the moon. People will start referring to the moon as "Whoopi" or "Whoopi Above The Sky With Diamonds".

I'm afraid it hasn't -- you'll forget. And if you don't, Lily will be hard to resist -- and it's not like you'll even know it's Lily, cause she's not gonna tell you her name.

I don't understand you Isaac.

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"Travis Bickle: Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man."

WaRnInG

There is a lil'swear in the pic

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~In the event of a Zombie Uprising, remember to sever the head or destroy the brain!~

Well being how i talk about this everyday lol my list is always changing but the first step is go to your room get your weapons, load up go to the closest waltmart, get ammo, liquor, camping supplies,and a few weaker people (in case you need to make a sacrifice or two). then your gonna wanna go get a better ride and with your new ammo supply a armor car is not outta the plains. Then you wanna take the loot to the fallout shelter you have already made waiting for this to happen out in the desert!

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Is there someone inside you?
Sometimes.
Who is it?
I don't know.
Is it Captain Howdy?

Why is it in almost ever 'Zombie scenario" that someone or some children are left alone? I mean - it is like Hell - no you cannot go off on your own, unless of course it is to take a leak. That sacred ritual must be combined with utmost aloneness and stupidity, therefore causing your brains to get fragged. IOW: "Hey you guys, never go off alone, unless of course you have to drain the weasel/dribblethimble, then it is ok to risk your life.

I tell you what: if I had to take a leak in a Zombie-infested Utopian place, then I would piss my pants and ask questions later. Yep.

Better pissyellow jeans than meat4brains.

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“The gladdest moment in human life, methinks, is a departure into unknown lands.” – Sir Richard Burton

In light of our current avatar theme, I figured it would be appropriate this week to "resurrect" this thread. So I'd like to take a page out of TheUsualSuspect's book, and pose a few questions to you about your fellow Mofos:


In the event of a zombie apocalypse, which Mofo would you...

...trust with the chainsaw?

...share ammunition with?

...risk your own life to rescue from being eaten?

...argue with over what to do?

...stand behind for protection?

...push into a zombie horde?

Which three (3) Mofos would you feel best about holing up with?