Happy Birthday Grandma Death

You only graced us with your kind, killer presence in 2004. We know you probably had a lot of reaping to do while your lemon cookies baked in the oven. We're glad to have known you, but we weren't sad to see you go. You see, grandmothers shouldn't terrify children, but they do. In your case, it's your job. One wonders who you ensnared as a mate to give you offspring, and what mutant horrors your offspring must have birthed in turn to grant your title.

Nevertheless, you left us intact, oh immortal matriarch of despair... and for that, we toast you on your special day. May all your slayings be swift and satisfactory, and your "Murder, She Wrote" be watched. We've fashioned a cake we think you may have liked, but we'd prefer that you remain far away from MoFo. We're not quite ready to be smothered with sloppy old kisses into oblivion just yet.

May the fiery tongues of Hades tickle your dread nightie!

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"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how the Tatty 100 is done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Behan

This reminds me sooo much of Donnie Darko......