Sexy Cineplexy: Reviews

The History Boys


It's England in 1983. A group of young guys who attend grammar school are studying, studying, and studying with their teachers to pass exams to get into the finest universities, Oxford and Cambridge. Oh yes, and there's also field trips, good talks, motorcycle rides with Vernon Dursley that include free ball groping, French plays with prostitutes played by an overweight boy, and musical numbers performed by a lovelorn gay teenager that will bring tears to your eyes.

Writer Alan Bennett adapts his Tony award winning play, The History Boys, into a movie directed by Nicholas Hytner and the result is an interesting, different, metamorphic kind of movie. I never saw the actual play, but the original cast played their roles for the film. It's an upbeat jolly fest with moving musings on education, history, life and knowledge. Then, there's the music. Throughout the picture, pop songs from the 80's, such as The Clash's "Rock The Cashbah", play, though without lyrics. The lovelorn gay teenager sings "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered" in class, aiming his words at Dakin (Dominic Cooper), his romantic interest.

Frances de la Tour gives a delicious performance as history teacher Mrs. Lintott. Richard Griffiths plays Hector, the general studies teacher that "the history boys" adore, and which he adores quite a lot too. There's quite a lot of homosexuality throughout the film. Hector's married and closeted; Posner (Samuel Barnett) is the gay teen; Irwin (Stephen Campbell Moore), the new teacher, who has quite a large role, has an attraction to Dakin; Dakin, himself, stuns a character later on in the movie with an offer that doesn't involve womankind. It all certainly is a reason why I enjoyed the film, and thus it might not be for everyone.

At the end of the movie, someone dies. I won't reveal who. As they say in the movie, history is just one f---ing thing after another. We also find out what happens in the future to the history boys, what became of them, if they went to Oxford and Cambridge or not. It's a happy, fun picture but it's also chilly regarding some things. Still, the lesson is, history is just one f---ing thing after another. Pass it on.

I give it an A.

Or:

Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix


It's been about a month now since I've seen the movie, so I'm late with this review. However, the film is still doing well in U.S. theatres right now, although it's probably in its final week/s of major showings.

This is really my first true introduction to the Harry Potter series. Although I had watched snippets of Sorcerer's Stone and Prisoner of Azkaban (I have now watched all of P.O.A.), I hadn't read any of the books (at the time I watched Order of the Phoenix in theatres - I've now read Half-Blood Prince & Deathly Hallows). Gosh, what an obnoxiously long, complicated sentence that was, but who cares - I'm tired. It's almost midnight. It's been a long day. But oh, hello insomnia, my old friend.

Currently my avatar here is of Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange. If you're reading this and it's past 8/14/2007, chances are likely that the avatar above is not of Helena Bonham Carter, as I like to change my avatar often, and with different people/things depicted in them. But anyways, isn't Helena fab at Bellatrix? She is such a kooky woman, all wild hair and wicked eyes. Helena, who is currently with child (the daddy is Tim Burton), is the perfect flesh and blood actor to take on playing Bellatrix. And now onto the movie itself...

Well, I can really only compare it to Prisoner of Azkaban, since that's the other one I've seen all of so far. I like Order of the Phoenix more. Delores Umbridge is such a fun evil character. Didn't you just want to kill her?! By strangulation? Seriously, she was so evil!!



Because I was clueless about the series while watching the movie, I thought she was going to turn out to be Lord Voldemort in a disguise. Voldemort in Delores drag. That, of course, turned out to be not the case.

Good grief, you mean to tell me this was adapted from an 870 page book? Surely, not everything in the book was put forth into the movie, right? I'm not certain yet if I'll have the patience to read that one since I've already seen the movie and I've read Deathly Hallows and now know all of the secrets in Potterland. But I hope I'll master that mammalian paper monster sometime in the future.

This movie will require a second viewing from me, but I'm not sure how many more after that. Hopefully a bunch, but who knows? I'm looking forward to the Half Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows movies.

I give this movie....

Nighty nite.

Palindromes
A film by Todd Solondz, 2004


Palindromes is a movie written and directed by Todd Solondz and is basically a sequel to his 1995 film, Welcome To The Dollhouse.



However, this movie opens at the funeral of Dawn Wiener, Heather Matarazzo's character from that film, as she has committed suicide. Poor girl. So, she is seen nowhere in Palindromes. But, her brother from Welcome To The Dollhouse, Mark Wiener (again played by Matthew Faber) appears in a few scenes.

And what is Palindromes about? To put it simply, a thirteen year old girl named Aviva wants to have a baby. She thinks babies are cute and she would love to have one and give it lots of love. Also, Aviva has just come from Dawn Wiener's funeral with the knowledge that Dawn killed herself after finding out she became pregnant from a date rape. Dawn didn't want to bring someone into this world who might be as unloved as Dawn felt all her life. Aviva fears the possibility of being like Dawn... a person who'd kill their baby.

Later on, Aviva shows up at the house of some of her parents' friends. The teenage boy who lives there shows Aviva his bedroom. Soon after, he's had sex with her and Aviva becomes pregnant this way. Horrified by what has happened to their young daughter, Aviva's parents take her to an abortion clinic where a doctor disposes of Aviva's unborn child. Hurt and upset afterwards, Aviva runs away from home and has adventures that are, well, weird (see the picture above).

The oddest thing about the movie is Aviva is played by several different young actresses. First she is a young African American girl. Then she's a young redheaded girl. Then she's another young redheaded girl. Then she's a young brunette haired girl. Then she's a very obese African American girl. They interchange every so often.

The movie deals with pedophilia and a girl who is odd sexually. Todd Solondz couldn't get any studio to back the picture, so he basically paid for it out of his own pocket. I thought the movie was going to be pretty shocking with its content because of that, but actually it wasn't. The sex act is shown, but there's never any nudity.

It's actually pretty funny at times if you can laugh at strange things. It may seem like the wrong thing to laugh at, but it is a Todd Solondz film. I figure, yes, it is appropriate to laugh at this. Yes, I can't help it if an armless little woman is singing and dancing with a microphone headset on and I start to laugh. Yes, it's funny when a character called Mama Sunshine tears up while telling a story about a legless kid who managed to run away from home.

I had no idea Welcome To The Dollhouse had a quasi sequel until just a few days ago. If you liked that movie, or if you like strange films in general, give Palindromes a try.

I give it

SUPERBAD
(d: Greg Mottola, 2007)


SUPERBAD!

Hearing that word makes me think of Pam Grier leaving the residence of the evil lady pimp Katherine Wall after making a very special delivery in Foxy Brown (1974). The song "Foxy Brown" is cued with a man exclaiming, "SUPERBAD!"

Here we are in 2007 where Superbad is the title of a movie, a surprisingly good movie, the kind that didn't make me check my watch for the time every 15 minutes. Superbad is, simply put, the love story between two guys. No, not in a Brokeback Mountain sense, but maybe that will be the case in the sequel. We shall see. Seth (Jonah Hill) and Evan (Michael Cera) have been BFF (best friends forever). They're seniors in high school, but next year they will be apart as they're going to different colleges. When Evan gets to college, he's going to be roommates with Fogell (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), their uncool geek buddy in high school. Superbad is about a night where they're all out to get some alcohol so they can party on with the hot chicks... only, getting some alcohol is not an easy task for these guys to accomplish. No, not at all.

While not the most hilarious film I've seen, Superbad had my full attention and kept me guessing about what might happen next. There's a great scene where Seth goes into a grocery store to steal some liquor. A porky piggish security cop is in sight. What happens next? Tell you, I shant.

This is also the only movie I know of that features an end credits montage of penis people drawn on notebook paper. Sorry if that's a spoiler (I don't think it is), but I just had to mention it. The frank discussions of sex is franker than ever, but in a more light hearted, historical way. Superbad is, afterall, in my opinion, the modern teenage sex film, but with a twist. Although the guys are after some nookie, and nookie scenes do make their appearance (one girl, who is drunk, is great in a scene where she goes crazy with lust), in the end it's all about helping a young lady with her makeup choices. You'll see.

I actually think that Superbad might be one of this decade's best films.

But I'm only going to give it a


I need to watch it again. Watching Superbad is a unique experience. Even the guy I saw it with didn't know what to think when it was over. It might have been the last scene. But I spent a lot of time watching Superbad weirded out by the fact that this isn't usually my kind of film and it was doing OK with me. Maybe it works better on a human level. A group of guys in front of me kept laughing at the oddest, most unfunny things to me, and I finally thought, well, maybe they're laughing because they relate to it.

Thanks for the review SC! I keep hearing good things about this film... I might just have to watch it when it hits DVD!

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SAW IV

(Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, 2007)


Disappointing.

On other movie forums, this film's twist ending was hyped up a lot as being "the biggest, most shocking twist yet". Far from it. In fact, it's the absolute worst... IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE BEFORE!

On the other hand, it's a decent film to watch.

The psychotic Jigsaw lays dead on an autopsy table, but his games are not over yet... for SWAT Commander Rigg, from the previous films, has been put into a game where he must choose to save the lives of people and then try to save his friends (Donnie Wahlberg & Costas Mandylor).

Saw IV also travels back in time to show us what motivated Jigsaw to start testing people in his torturous games... and we meet his ex-wife, Jill, who in the present time is being questioned by an FBI agent about Rigg's game.

There are plans for a Saw V and Saw VI, but will their twists be as bland and "been there, done that" as Saw IV's and even Saw III's?

Hell, you know what? I need to spoil the ending for you. Here we go, if you want it....

Mixed Nuts

(directed by Nora Ephron, 1994)


The holidays are here! Break out the season's greetings greats from your movie vault and go to town! (on a sleigh, of course)

Skip that boring, can't-take-it-off-television-on-Christmas A Christmas Story and try watching something a little different, like Mixed Nuts, the 1994 Nora Ephron flick.

Steve Martin, in his most unfunny role, Madeline Kahn and Rita Wilson work for a suicide hotline that operates in an apartment they're renting. Clients include Juliette Lewis, a nut who works at a costume store, Liev Schreiber, in drag, and Anthony LaPaglia, as Lewis' boyfriend. There's also Adam Sandler as a nutty neighbor and Garry Shandling as the apartment landlord who wants to throw all of his tenants out.

The funniest scenes include Madeline Kahn, as Mrs. Munchnik, getting trapped in an elevator and resorting to playing with a kid's toy drum set that has built-in rap/hip-hop music, in order to get someone's attention, and Liev Schreiber as Chris dancing around the suicide hotline apartment to music.

Oh, and there is also a murderer on the loose, known as the Seaside Strangler, and Mixed Nuts includes a few "suspenseful" scenes involving that subplot.

Since Mixed Nuts can be found at stores like Best Buy and FYE for around $5-6 right now, it's a very good possibility that a friend may buy it for you or it'll appear in your stocking on Christmas day. To most people, it'll probably be like getting a lump of coal, but there are a few rare individuals (like me) who would cherish it. Just remember: the DVD says it comes in widescreen & fullscreen on the back cover, but in reality the disc is only in fullscreen. So, yeah, the coal gets lumpier.

The main thing I seem to remember from this flick is a bird in a cage. I think it was a parakeet, but something happened to that bird, and it's the most [NON?-]memorable thing about the movie, at least for me.

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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
My IMDb page

RE;Addidasssssssss

Heres an Idea, hows about you use this movie site for talking about movies. Not for attacking other members.

I amaze myself sometimes, I dont know where these great Ideas come from
oh.....
oh....
oh...
hold on, heres another (two in one day you lucky man).

If you dont like sexy's reviews
THEN
DONT
READ
THEM.

Ps; sexy I enjoy your reviews,theyre refreshing and not pretentious. (Its so rare that someone actually gives their opinion as opposed to just saying what will make them look good)

Em...here's an idea (that's "idea" without the capital I so I guess it's not as good as yours); learn how to edit your posts so you don't come off looking like a bigger moron than you actually are...mkay?

Oh and no, I don't read Sexy's reviews, thanks. Read the first one and decided it wasn't my cup of chai.

__________________
http://www.last.fm/user/diezelpower/

Very understandable, You didnt like them. there was no need to insult sexy.

(I have quite bad dyxlexia, im sorry if things in my posts are spelled wrong or have symbols or capitals in the wrong places, stating that I am a "moron" is just ignorant)

You're a moron because you double posted, n00b. Look at the previous page...

Ooops, that doesnt make me a moron, why am I arguing with a 12 year old anyways?

yea, sorry bout crudding up your thread, I just get iritated when people resort to insults because they cant constructively criticise something.
Sorry again

The Brave One

(directed by Neil Jordan, starring Jodie Foster, 2007)


Jodie Foster, as Erica, and her boyfriend are brutally attacked by thugs one night in the park. The boyfriend dies as a result, but Erica lives - battered, changed, and thirsty for revenge.

She gets herself a gun and becomes New York's vigilante, taking out criminals she comes into contact with, left and right. Meanwhile, she starts to have a relationship with Detective Mercer (Terrence Howard - who is very hot, by the way). Soon, all New York can ask is, "Who is the vigilante?" Erica, a radio show host, takes their calls and gets New York's opinion (not New York from VH1's I Love New York) about the vigilante.

Erica finds herself plagued by flashbacks of her own killings. She even starts to tape record the audio from her outings. The Brave One focuses on the unlikely hero - a woman, a female radio talk show host, a woman who's been through hell, had her life taken away by crime.

It is the perfect role for Jodie Foster, someone who loves those power-female-feminist roles. But it's not necessarily the perfect movie. A few scenes here and there dealing with Erica's pain and loss, accompanied by music, are a bit too unnecessary for this here Sexy Celebrity. I am not completely sure if the film's ending is perfect. There were also a few other things that I thought were silly, though I can't remember the part that made me actually say out loud, "THIS IS SILLY!"

Miss Thang (Erica) is lucky to keep getting away with everything she does. If you're into movies that deal with justice and you want to see a bunch of bad guys get murdered by a woman who wants to clean the streets, The Brave One needs to be at your number 1 spot in your Netflix queue RIGHT NOW.

I give it a B (for bang, bang, you're dead).



P.S. Jodie Foster has never looked better (except in the above picture). Lesbians, check this movie out!



^^ Jodie on Letterman, promoting the movie.

In The Shadow of the Moon
(dir: David Sington, 2007, starring astronauts)



For me, there is no greater moment and achievement than when Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins left Earth and traveled a great distance to go to the moon and walk on it. I am proud to be living so close to the time it happened. I may not have been alive when it happened, but it was only fourteen years before I was born. Wow!

In The Shadow of the Moon is a documentary featuring ten Apollo astronauts who talk candidly about what it was like to be on the moon (except for Apollo 13's Jim Lovell, you all know what happened with that - I hope). It is a spectacular film, filled with all sorts of videos from the past.

I have often wondered what it takes to make someone want to go out there and do such a dangerous thing. You think it's not dangerous? I certainly think it is. I'd call traveling to another world via a little spacecraft for the first, or second, or third or fourth time a little dangerous. As fearful Apollo 12 astronaut Alan Bean put it, "Death was mere inches from my face. I knew if the window shattered, I would be dead within a second." I sure wouldn't want to be in that spacecraft! That's something Quentin Tarantino couldn't make death proof!

Intelligently, if you're an Apollo astronaut, you know you're going to the moon, but emotionally, it doesn't hit you until you are on your way. Then there's actually getting near the moon, only sixty miles away from it. One of the astronauts, I can't remember who, said the moon looked scary, uninviting, uninhabitable, cold, dark and not friendly. Meanwhile, Earth was a beautiful, delicate looking ball in the distance that the astronauts could cover up completely with their thumbs. All of the world's problems - covered up and vanished by a thumb. I don't think that's something we could fully understand emotionally unless we had done it ourselves. Alan Bean said that when he came back to Earth he went to malls and just watched people, enjoying being around people, wondering why so many people hated their lives. He says he loves every day of his life now.

Anyway, I'm revealing too much about what was said in the film. I think you should all check it out and see the whole thing for yourselves.

I give it an A for Apollo.





Apollo 11 - on the moon.

Sex and the City

(2008, directed by Michael Patrick King)

I realize that few people who visit Movie Forums will be going out to see Sex and the City: The Movie (which is a shame), so I'm just gonna make my basic points:

** This movie was a hell of a lot better than Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

** Judging by the long lines I saw this weekend (Saturday @ 1:30pm right after my 11 am showing ended), this is the Star Wars for women.

** It was delightful. I swear I may not see a better film this year.

** It's a great movie, but it will definitely work more for you if you're already a fan of the TV show.

** My only real complaint is that they could have done something much better with Kim Cattrall's 'Samantha' character...

** I usually enjoy Roger Ebert's movie reviews, but his review for this movie made him sound like an old fart.

** This movie is ... not like most other movies being made today. They did a good job in turning the show into a movie... making it FEEL like a movie. It is a visual and emotional masterpiece, a high sensory experience, an old, classic love story.

** I hope you'll watch it sometime.

Grade: A+

What a fantastic review thread SC! Seriously. An around the world and back *SNAP* for you!.

I am one of those that won't be seeing Sex and the City, just because I never got into the show. I'm curious if you have ever been lucky enough to experience the brilliance of Absolutely Fabulous? Now that is a show about women that I love, Sex, not so much. Just a little too vanilla for me. But AbFab... pure awesomeness. Yes I said awesomeness.

Anyway great job on your reviews, keep em coming.

__________________
We are both the source of the problem and the solution, yet we do not see ourselves in this light...

The Love Guru

(this was directed?, 2008)

I want to warn you right off the bat that this isn't a movie review.

No. This is a GARBAGE CAN review!! And it's a garbage can that has really fallen apart and needs to just be taken to a bigger garbage can. This is Oscar the Grouch's first house, the one he has bad memories of. THE ONE THAT MADE HIM GROUCHY!!!

Mike Myers stars in a movie that I believe, if I checked the facts, he wrote himself. It's kinda like Austin Powers in that vein, but in my opinion, far from it. I liked the Austin Powers movies... and I thought that instead of The Love Guru, he should have just made an Austin Powers 4. Or, hell, Wayne's World 3, even -- resurrecting old movie serii (my word for "series" gone plural) is in vogue right now. strike a pose

There really isn't one thing about the movie to blame in particular for its absolutely abysmal, boring, life draining, soul sucking qualities (which, by the way, come in large quantities, in case you worry about the quantities). I do want to blame Mike Myers himself for this time wasting travesty. Doesn't he realize how godawful this film is?

I sat in mortal shock last night noting that on Facebook, there's a Love Guru fan page that you can use to let everyone know that you're a fan of this movie. There are about 4,000 fans of it, I believe. Browsing the page's Wall (where fans can leave comments), I noticed people saying things like, "This is the funniest movie ever!" and "I needed this movie! It made me laugh and laugh and laugh..." You NEEDED this movie??? And it made you laugh???

You know what, though? Good for you. I'm glad it made you laugh. I'm scratching my head wondering why, though (pretty hard scratches too, I'm using Freddy Krueger's glove).

If you want a movie with penis jokes... and more penis jokes... and even MORE penis jokes... and you know what? I like penis. I don't mind hearing about penises all the time... but when a movie starts making me want to root for the rise and sudden triumphant law and order of the VAGINA JOKES... 'cause the penises are pissing me off (!!!)... something is wrong with the movie.

And I don't think I need to tell you anymore than that.

I give this movie .