Ask Psychic Isaac

Sadly, you're not. Your lips utter lies - just like Holden here. God does not make handsome devils - he makes handsome angels, and you are not one of them. You were born with the gift of entertaining others - in two and a half years from now, you will be at a crossroads and it's best that you follow the path of a comedy writer. You'll be teamed up with a guy named Rick Cooley and somebody else here at MoFo. Until then, you could try buying nice clothes and wearing makeup for men. In the future, you'll fall in love with a gorgeous supermodel named Nixon Princess. Good luck!

Isaac!

P.I will I ever dance again? These guilty feet have got no rhythm.

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instrumental rock band that I am in.

No, you're never gonna dance again. Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool. You should have known better than to cheat a friend and waste a chance that had been given! Time can never mend the careless whisper of a good friend. To your heart in mind, if your answer's kind - there's no comfort in the truth. Pain is all you'll find!

Isaac!

Hi there Psychic Isaac, will I ever stop wandering from place to place?

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Yes! Absolutely. You'll settle down somewhere in July.

Somewhere in July… no particular place or year? …

Alaska, this year. Have fun!

Mr. Isaac......

I've always held this secret dream to become a famous star.....will that ever happen?

Hon, if you keep your dream a secret, it'll become a secret to yourself - and thus, you'll forget all about that dream. You're going to meet an acting coach by the name of Tommy Douglas. FOLLOW HIS ADVICE. He's a great tap dancer too. You should take it up - it's a talent you haven't discovered yet. Your biggest opportunity will come in 2011, in August, if you follow your path. You are also going to marry an actor two years later, and his name is Geoffrey Robertson. Good luck!

P.S. Don't get pregnant.

Dear Isaac,

A friend of mine has a severe case of crabs. This, uh, friend...he really wants them to go away, because it's really difficult to post and scratch at the same time.

Please help!

How am I supposed to help with that?! You want me to go over to his house and pick the crabs off of him, one by one?! I'm a psychic, not a magician or a physician.

I will tell you that he got them from that girl, Stephanie. Uh huh, he did... that's why they call her Scratchy Stephanie. Didn't he know that?! MAAAAANNNNN, more people need to be psychic!

Anyway, I'm afraid that his case of crabs are only going to get worse. In fact, they're going to grow into full sized crabs you find in the ocean. Eventually, they'll swim their way away from him, but you better look out for Stephanie - and her best friends, Itchy Bi*chy Brenda and STD D.J.

Isaac!

Thank you, thank you Psychic Isaac!! You have inspired me to find my backbone and follow my dream. Tommy Douglas...Tommy Douglas...Tommy Douglas...I won't forget! And I'll study hard....

....btw Psychic Isaac....one little knink. How do you think my current hubby will react to my wanting to marry this Geoffrey Robertson? What sort of man is Geoffrey?

Dear Isaac,

Am I going to marry my boyfriend even though he is living on the other side of Australia, and has been for 1 month and will be for another 2 months........

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~ Nikki ~

"I'm your hell, I'm your dream.......I'm nothing in between.......You know you wouldn't want it any other way".........

"Listen, when I slap you, you'll take it and like it"..........Humphrey Bogart..........Maltese Falcon.......

Graze on my lips and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie...........William Shakespeare.......

Ambitious, very handsome, but very romantic. I cannot tell you anymore information about that part of your life. Live in the now.

Sorry, but no you won't. Confront him on the phone when you can - he's cheating on you. Break it off and then you'll meet a nice guy named Eric.

Isaac!

and here is Eric!!

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"So you take me for what I am...a psychopathic, schizophrenic, serial-killing, femme fatale?"

First im gonna be........

THEN............

Im gonna spend the rest of my life...........

Until I meet ...................ERIC.....


Psychic Isaac...........Is he tall, dark and handsome.......or is he a midget............I can take it.........I have another box of chocolates here............(unopened)......

P.I.

It's my girlfriends birthday today, where should I take her ?

Wow, someone else loves that site, too?

Oh, uh.... I'm afraid I've made a mistake. Gosh darnit! But don't despair! You're still going to meet your... uh... Eric... UH.... here's Eric's...UH... picture:

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