A movie where a really realistic video-game

Movie i saw in 2011-2012 , about life in the near future i believe but they had normal cars and everything and there was a video game that EVERYONE played u put on ur VR headset or something like that and u were taken to the REAL WORLD and everyone's avatar in-game was THEMSELVES in real life and the protagonist goes to this club and meets this blonde hot chick and they hook up and that's all i can remember from the movie but i remember it was more dark than that it had violence and stuff

Surrogates fits some of your description.

Sounds like L'autre monde (2010)

Probably not but worth a shot.
Couldn't be "Gamer" right?

ExiStenz (1999) ?

The more I think of this it is definitely eXistenz, I’m sure Jude Law meets Jennifer Jason Leigh in a club too, anyone concur?

I think you’re right.