Mama's (and Daddies) don't let your babies go to grown up movies. Please!

Oh I knew what you meant, I was just saying . . .

I do try to pick a seat with where the "trouble" people are in mind.

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Bleacheddecay

Some of the nicest people I know have some of the worst kids. Why? Because they don't make and enforce boundaries. They, are, therefore failing their kids.

Kids become confused, scared and angry when parents refuse to act like parents. They act out. It's so sad for everyone.

Lord knows I absolutely hate playing the bad guy but when I had kids I wanted to do the best job I could. I'm not perfect by any means but my kids had rules and we enforced them. Within those rules they also had a lot of freedom.

Two is the precise age at which you should make the child aware that the world doesn't revolve around them. That's not called the terrible 2's for nothing. Also you should begin teaching them to focus on his or her adult caregivers and learn patience. If you fail to do that things will only get worse and worse.

Before that age, I believe parents should center things around that, mostly helpless, new life form.

Yeah, regardless of age each kid is actually a 24/7 job for each parent. And forget that "it takes a village" crap--it's all happening on the parents watch. One of the biggest mistakes I see among young parents, especially dads with sons, is that they want to be the kids' playmate most of the time, tossing balls, wrestling, punch the kid on the shoulder and let him punch you. Sounds like great fun being buddies, but it confuses the hell out of kids when you try to make the transition from buddy to daddy. You've been trading play punches, so when you then swat him on his butt for misbehaving, he kicks you in the shin. Children have hundreds of playmates--they only have one mom and dad. If you teach them to behave and to have respect for others when they're growing up, you'll find you'll be close friends with them when they're grown and have children of their own.

Another major mistake is thinking that you as a parent can reason with a kid, make him see and accept the right and the wrong of a situation, give him a warning and a chance to adjust his behavior before applying discipline. But usually this ends up with Mom and Dad yelling across the room at the misbehaving child and doing a 1-2-3 countdown. All that does is teach the kid to yell and to count at least to 3.

My dad gave the best possible advice when my first child, my daughter was born: First of all, always do what you tell a child you're going to do. Doesn't matter if it's "I'm gonna spank your butt when we get home" or "I'm gonna buy you a pony for your next birthday." You tell a kid something, you'd best deliver if you want to keep his trust and respect.

Second thing Dad said was, "Never punish a child when you're angry," and I second that motion with all my heart. Now my dad and mom grandparents and teachers practiced corporal punishment on me and my brothers. That's the way we grew up, and I'm almost convinced all boys need their ears boxed occasionally just to get them to pay attention. I don't know if spanking does more harm than good, but like I said, I was raised that way and there were plenty of times I walked away from situations not because I might get hurt or go to jail but because I could imagine what would happen if my dad learned about it.

Getting back to the point, however, a grownup can hurt a child if you're angry, not just by hitting a kid but also by things you say and the way you say them. So never react in anger, even if you have to go out and walk the block or take a drive to cool off. Besides, the suspense about where you're going and what you're going to to do when you get back is probably worse punishment than anything you could think up!

Third thing my dad said is always make sure that your son or daughter knows each day that they are loved by you. That's more than just saying, "I love you." You've got to share their interests and invite them to share yours, not as a playmate but as a teacher, a mentor, a parent. You've got to hug them and you've got to listen to them when they're happy, when they're sad, when they're confused, and when they're hurting. Parents, especially Dads, are always telling kids what to do. But parents should remember to shut up occasionally and just listen.

I agree with almost every point that your dad mentioned. He does sound like a great parent!

BTW, we were invited to a teen movie day recently. I would have gone for it in a heart beat except the last time we did this, some of the teens thought it was okay to throw popcorn in a movie theater.

I usually think the parents and I are on the same page but the parents said nothing. I did because it was MY popcorn that I had offered some of for EATING. It really does take a village sometimes when parents won't step up! I have no problem being part of that village if I know the people.

Then at a burger joint fries flew, and not at buddies, but strangers! WTH?

So, as much as I normally like these people I'm avoiding eating with them or seeing movies with them. Teenagers should know better. If my kids did that they'd be in very big trouble. Of course my kids wouldn't dream of that. They were embarrassed too just to be sitting with people who did such things.

Do I expect too much? I think NOT.

Here is a cute little story.

My son, when he was little, was caught hiding behind the couch one day. Snow White was playing in the VCR. He was very little. He had put it in. He LOVED this movie.

Me: "Um, why are you hiding?"

Son: "The witch scares me!"

Me: "Why are you watching that movie if it scares you?"

Son: "I love it!"

LOL.

Kids, what are ya gonna do?

I take it that the movie was NOT The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

LOL!

No.

I never even threw anything at RHPS either!

I don`t know if I can speak for everyone... But I think alot of people (myself included) seem to only go on dates with girls (or if you were a girl/ homosexual then go on dates with guys) that are not necessarily perverts, but definitely freaks, creeps, and all sorts of weird-o`s
amirite?

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One day you will ask me, what's more important...me or your life. I will answer my life and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life

Well, I've generally dated some very nice ladies, but there was one I last saw when I took her some magazines when she was confined in a mental hospital, behind locked doors. She was in a ward monitored by television and with a large window looking out on the nurses' station, and she wanted me to get in bed with her! Told her if I was crazy enough to do that, they wouldn't let me out through the locked doors. She was just a little strange, not really weird and certainly not a freak or creep.

I didn't say he was a pervert lightly. I have my reasons for saying that.

For one, he took a child far too young to a movie in which women stripped and then were strangled.

Another reason, was that he grabbed me at times and wanted to do things with me when I was 12.

Not all her bf's were perverted (though she had horrible judgment and tastes in men), but this one was.

I will look around for that, next time I go.
When our kids were small, they saw the first Jurassic Park fillm.
It was pretty violent, but I don't think they tore wings off moths or anything.
No.
But I do remember in high school going to the Drive-In several times to see the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and having to look through my fingers up until around the 3rd time I saw the movie, for some of thoses scenes.
I tore wings off moths.
It's annoying.
Get a babysitter for a couple of hours, or go stand in the lobby.
That's a good idea.
I can understand young families in restaurants with kids eating in high chairs banging spoons etc.
You have to get out once in awhile.
Been there.
But not a theater.
I like movies at home too.
I agree.

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"If you can't be funny be interesting."
Harold Ross

ah... now I feel like an ass, I'm sorry to hear that, I didn't know

hmm.. as an adult, Im now a fan of not letting them see too much. us? we didnt really go to the movies, save for once or twice with our dad, and then it was a real treat and quite the bonding experience.

for our movies at home - our mom was on a zero sex/violence policy, but our dad was like "anything except outright pornography goes." so her rule reigned supreme, and we didnt see any movies (and definitely no tv) until we were like 9yrs old, and then his will reigned supreme after that. I think they had a nice balance between the 2 of them, and it worked like this: if she was seriously against a movie, she would watch it first, and then say no or maybe. if she told us no and we really REALLY wanted to see it, she would tell us WHY we shouldnt watch it, and we either would, or wouldnt, depending on our dad's mood that day.

so.....we totally saw things that would make a small child tremble. in fact, we often had nightmares, and she would laugh and tell us to stop watching scary movies. and by scary, I mean your typical Jean Claude Van Damme movie, or scifi horror like Alien. Alien gave me nightmares for months, but I was hooked after that.

We had never been allowed to watch gore horror, but our "interesting" uncle felt we were too sheltered and allowed my older brother and I to watch Friday the 13th when we visited (he had an extensive porn collection as well - thankfully he didnt offer that, though come to think of it, i wonder what he wouldve done had my brother asked.). I can remember very clearly knowing that I couldnt handle watching Friday the 13th, and telling my brother this, but he watched it in front of me anyway. I had nightmares for years and to this day cannot watch Friday the 13th. Even when I was able to enjoy Jason, I could never watch anything with Freddy Krueger.

still, we didnt watch tv, and we had to do the nighttime sneaking to watch real 80s/90s gore horror like Jason, or stuff like that. It became a rite of passage to sneak our friends movies into the house at night, then sneak downstairs for a sibling powwow and watch the movies without getting caught. There was the combined movie terror, and getting caught terror. It was a lot of fun!

Strangely enough, Im the only one I know who still watches any version of horror - at this point none of them can even stand mild horor like Resident Evil.

So no. I would never let my future children see some of the things I saw! I dont see anything wrong with the rules stopping children from seeing too much gore or violence or sex. I think it protects them. As children, I always knew we knew far more than our friends who hadnt seen what we'd seen, and now, as an adult, Im not that comfortable with a child the age I was knowing what I knew. I joke with my dad about "how could you have let us watch that??" I know for a fact that some of that stuff shaped my character and the character of my siblings. Definitely the way we thought and saw the world.

I guess I think that children are going to do everything they can to get around the rules, and probably succeed in various cases. And that's ok, so long as the rules actually exist to protect them. I am not a fan of having children so sheltered they are gullible, but I think with rules in place, they will end up seeing some things you dont want them to see, but they will understand the context of it, based on whether they had to sneak to see it, or simply just watch it outright.

plus, I think it helps to talk to them, and to explain your reasons - even if they dont agree with you then, they will have the necessary tools to protect themselves later (e.g. if they are scared to look under the bed, they can correlate it to having watched a horror movie that night).

No worries.

I agree with you Mack!

Talk in this forum about controlling children's exposure to TV reminds me of an incident from my childhood in East Texas. We had heard of TV but it was well into the 1950s before my family bought its first TV. In our area, we could pick up only two of the three national networks, and one of those was always snowy, so we were pretty well stuck with whichever station broadcast out of Dallas, more than 100 miles away. That was as "local" as stations got back then. There was very little weekday TV back then, but I do remember seeing the Today show with Dave Garroway on some mornings. There was a chimp on the program (Fred C. Muggs?) but my biggest pleasure on that program was the occasional appearance of the Narobi Trio--three people in rubber gorilla masks who did the same basic comedy routine over and over of pretending to play the same simple tune, moving in slow stiff clockwork motions. The gag was that one of the three would occasionally use the "gorilla" conductor's head as a drum. Actually, I was pretty cosmopolitan in my taste for TV comedy. One member of the Narobi Trio was future comedy king, Ernie Kovacs.

But usually the Dallas station broadcast a test pattern through most of the daylight hours on weekdays and started transmitting network shows in the early evening. Weekends they did more daytime programs, cartoons and westerns for the kids.

Still the programming was so poor and sporadic that TV was slow in becoming a habit among us kids. I remember one afternoon my brother and I were out in the yard with a bunch of buddies running around playing some game, when my dad came out on the front porch, and called to us that the Lone Ranger or some such program was on TV and didn't we want to come in and see it. I hollered back, "No, thanks, we'd rather play. I then very clearly recall my dad complaining to my mom as he went back inside, "Dammit, we spend all that money getting a TV and the kids had rather play outside than watch it!"

its not really like it was in the old days, you are right. we discovered that our house had cable (yes, discovered) when my dad hooked up an old tv in our basement library on whim, and apparently it had been piped in for years and the cable co didnt know. we camped out in the basement and literally watched it for like 3 days straight. neither parent bothered us. then, we went back outside, to rollerblading, roller hockey/basketball on the parking lot, baseball in the back field, and watching the boys play football, never to return to the basements save for movies.

i dont consider todays world worse off, per se, just different, and we connect in different ways than we did back then. i was highly amused though, when we had a warm snap over the early days of Jan/Feb, the neighborhood children took to building a treehouse on the public nature walk behind my house. completely NOT their land, but even i cant fault their enthusiasm and rudimentary engineering skills. nice to see some things never change.

reminds me of a great movie about treehouses, and little rascals. this is still Elijah's greatest work and age, imho.

I remember the three to four channel days. I remember when we had no remote controls. I remember when we got our first remote control and the phone ringing would make the tv turn off, on or change channels.

I loved books and tv because I could escape, have adventures and yet feel safe through them. However, for a whole lot of years my parents didn't let me watch TV at all. My grandparents would. They'd let me break all kinds of rules! LOL.