Mentally ill MoFos

Mentally ill MoFos

My new favorite thread.

I'm here!

(Be here now.)

I find this thread a bit morally wrong... everyone has issues... no one is completely sane...

I have suffered from Depression... which Im sure everyone has and probably needs to be on medication but still .

Not sure where to start.

Let's see... Depression (not clinical - most of my depression can be directly traced to circumstances... and I've got a lot of circumstances!)

I have a lot of strange neuroses & mental blocks.

I suffer from a unique form of Misophonia (and the jury is still out as to if this is a physical / neurological condition, a mental disorder or a combination of both).

That's just a few off the top of my head (more to come.)

Yes but to varying degrees, no doubt.

I suffer from depression and mood swings. It used to be real bad back in the day but it's gotten better and now I'm close to being perfectly sane.

Misophonia literally means "hatred of sound." But misophoniacs don't hate all sound, only specific ones. In fact sounds produced by fans, air conditioners or white noise machines are often used to drown out other sounds.

The most common "triggers" (which I can't relate to since these are not my triggers) are lip smacking, sounds people make when eating, gum chewing, gum "snapping" or popping, throat clearing, sniffing, whistling. For some reason most of these common triggers seem to focus on other people's oral habits. (No one seems to know why these are the common triggers).

My triggers are different and seem to have a lot to do with my personal environment being invaded by sound. I don't have a problem with the sounds people make when they eat! I have a problem with both high and low level sounds - someone's TV on in another room is like torture for me (and I used to live above and below people who'd leave their TV's on all night). It's the low level rumbling, randomness and nondescript muffled sound that drives me insane - I'd rather be in a room with a TV blasting than hear one through a wall.
Certain car engines parked outside my house. Bass percussion from car stereos (especially if someone parks a car outside my house playing music) sends me into a frenzy. Basketball percussion. Basically any non-steady sound that invades my space.

Can't. Resist. Counter-attack.

Paranoid schizophrenia and social anxiety.

I mainly deal with constant delusions and paranoia about things. I used to hear voices - I felt like I was hearing people's thoughts. This led me to believe that some people could read my thoughts. I either don't deal with that anymore, or it's faded into the background to where I don't notice it.

I still deal with major delusional thoughts and paranoia. I mean, it's not like it was during my mental breakdown of '12, when I couldn't even be at home for fear that my dad would steal my life force and turn me into a walking minion controlled by his thoughts, which I thought he was doing to people. But I do still deal with it, and some times it can be pretty bad.

You can only control/take care of your brain so much. It will do what it wants, for the most part.

I take my meds but I don't think that is my one and only "medicine". I think what helped me start living life again was socializing, having friends, having the support of people around me, and being interested in things. I focus on my music, on movies, and that means less time to think about what's going on in my brain. At least to some extent. I feel really grateful to have family and friends like I do. Some people with mental illness just don't have that kind of support, and to me that was the key to my recovery.

I actually really like this thread. I am very open about my illness and hope there are similar people who aren't afraid to speak up (though I understand if they are). This thread could be a very good thing.

There are apparently different levels. But true misophonia goes beyond simple annoyance or irritation - everyone is annoyed by some sound at some time or another. For severe sufferers, the condition is like tinnitus - something completely beyond their control, and they end up feeling helpless because they're unable to deal with living in a constant state of both mental & physical pain. It's been described as sheer torture because there's often no way to escape it. I've read about people who go away from their families to eat in their room alone with ear muffs on. Some people can't even stand the sound of their own eating and end up anorexic besides.

Remarkably, one thing all misophoniacs have in common are the feelings of rage that arise. And the rage is torturous because it cannot be directed because the sources of the triggers are not anyone doing anything wrong in most cases.

The condition is also referred to a similar condition called Hyperacusis or 4-S (standing for "selective sound sensitivity syndrome").
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia

Damn, you caught me. I'm secretly Luke Skywalker.

So your sister is Princess Leia?

Yes. But I also have another sister... hmmm...

Gatsby, I didn't know you have depression. I know a few people with major depression, and it seems like the worst. I'm really grateful not to have that alongside what I do have. I don't think I could cope. You're amazing people bro.

Thanks Swan. But like schizophrenia, if you have something to distract you, it's okay. I teach basic writing to kids, listen to classes, fool around here, do my best to socialize etc., it makes the day fly by fast. I used to be alone at home a lot (both of my parents work, and still do) and that was no fun for em.

For Misophonia, the best people can do is develop coping mechanisms as there is no cure or treatment.

Some studies now suggest it may be more a physical condition having to do with neurological audio pathways that stimulate parts of the brain that cause rage or fear responses.

It's horrible to feel so out of control by something as simple as a sound. Best thing people can do, if they can't remove the trigger, is remove themselves from the trigger.

Noise cancelling headphones, ear muffs (I use the kind used at firing ranges), ear plugs, and sound-maskers (fans, stereos, white noise machines) are coping tools. Sometimes these backfire - as my own ear muffs will cancel out ambient noise, but the vibration of a car engine or boom box will still be felt in my chest - which makes the trigger more prominent.

I've read a lot of the sensitivity has to do with your emotional state and what's going on in your life. The more depressed, unfulfilled or out of control you already feel, the worse the misophonia will be. But it you're active, exercise, sleep well, eat right, have positive relationships & friendships, varied interests, hobbies, and most importantly have or are working toward a fulfilling purpose or goal - these are all ways to improve your emotional state & focus on external things which seems to lower sensitivity in some people.

My situation improved remarkably this past year due to a few triggers disappearing - a lady with a loud, non-stop, barking dog moved away, the people across the street's kids seemed to lose interest in the basketball hoop they set up (which was right outside my bedroom window), and at another house across the street, I think a girl broke up with her boyfriend who would come there with this horribly rumbling car engine that he'd just park & let run outside my house.

Sorry to go on about this - but I haven't really talked to anyone about it.
Most people haven't heard of it, aren't interested or think you're just describing common disturbance (but you're being an over-sensitive, whiny, little girly-man about it!)

I should be on anti depressants but I've yet to sign up for health insurance.
Apparently they extended the deadline so I have until january 1st to sign up on healthcare.gov so like.. less than a day. But I've never taken anything like that and I guess I don't have a lot of faith in their ability to help me. Although recreational drugs feel good so I should probably be more optimistic about pharmaceutical ones.

I remember a john waters movie with johnny knoxville as a sex maniac trying to convince everyone not to take anti depressants because it kills your sex drive. Since my GF lives 8 hours away now it's not really a consideration these days.

Well.. if it is truly unbearable.. you can always make yourself deaf.
Plenty of deaf people live happy and productive lives.

Granted it would need to be extreme to take such extreme measures.