I hate it in films when...

I hate it when the protagonist finds themselves in a completely explainable situation, but rather than explain it they choose to say "No wait, you don't understand, if you'd just listen to me I could explain everything, just wait a minute, don't go please, you don't understand what's happening!"

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"When I was younger, I always wanted to be somebody. Now that I'm older, I realise I should've been more specific."

I hate it in films when they suck.

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"George, this is a little too much for me. Escaped convicts, fugitive sex... I've got a cockfight to focus on."

........Suppressors on revolvers.

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........the actor is supposed to be playing some regular Joe but they have an impeccable Athletes physique. Just lay off the gym for a few months guys if you are supposed to be playing a regular guy. Generally regular guys are a little bit fat and don't look very good, they don't have perfect haircuts with brilliant white teeth, magazine cover bodies and perfect clothes.

..................No! One!. turns any lights on when they come across a scary situation in a house

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Similarly, when there's a scary noise in the middle of the night - "I know, I'll check out the basement on my own, with no lights & very little clothing"

Can't believe my personal bugbear isn't here - when the hero (best in the business, of course) is being fired at by a dozen battle hardened (usually eastern European) bad-guys, all of whom miraculously miss, despite their experience & huge weapons, then our hero (still best in the business) drops them with a few shots from a 9mm pistol...

Hate it when someone in a cameo role is given top billing.

Reminds me of the time I bought The Little Shop of Horrors on DVD a few years ago. Not knowing much about it, apart from being told it was a cult classic, the deal was sealed for me when I saw Jack Nichsolson's face on the cover, taking up most of the room...

...I did still enjoy it at least, but I refuse to be caught like that again

I get irritated when I'm watching a Science Fiction film and the characters are flying a spaceship which, during the course of the scene, slowly gets more and more damaged with big bits and pieces falling off/burning up/exploding etc, but despite the damage the ship seems to operate as normal.

Who sticks these superfluous bits and pieces onto such complicated machinery? A similar thing happens with robots too.

Surely it's all quite important??

I hate it in films when...Keira Knightley appears.

It isn't just with films, matter of fact, it's with films less and less, or atleast in a less and less cheesy way. What I dislike is intentional attemps to make you emotional. A cheap tear, for a cheap trick. For example in the case of something patriotic or sad, the way they lay in that thick swooning strings and orchestral music; Cheesy things like this, which is done far more often on tv these days then in films, thank god! It just plum annoys me on tv also, and I almost always end up rolling my eyes. Of course it often works well, but maybe some discrection should be used, 'a reality show' isn't 'saving private ryan'! That is just my opinion, I thought I might not be alone in this.

For shame...

Or shotguns.

And if you wanna be really technical the M1891 Negant Revolver will work with a suppressor if you get the barrel threaded, because the chamber of that specific revolver is sealed, and the cylinder doesn't (by design) have any lateral movement. (This is to keep a constant headspace.)

This is another reason why when you see anybody shoot that specific revolver they shoot it thumbs up or thumbs forward like a 1911/Glock/HK/S&W/etc.

Happy Gilmore, who can't hit a puck in a net, beat Shooter McGavin who practiced his whole life for that tournament!!! Perhaps not the best example, but I watch that recently.

... it's all costume drama without the human drama. The pretty costumes to masquerade the dearth of emotion or rather the inflexibility of characters.

... it's all tell and no show. Exceptions include the use of voice-over narrative over mis-en-scene visuals. In other words the visuals have to be so gorgeous that spoken word becomes redundant, and therefore background narration becomes like the invisible hand of storytelling.

... the film becomes so self-reflexive, so self-conscious as if the director himself is acknowledging how important he is and not humbling himself to the medium.

Me too...Me too...

...a montage is all it takes to master a skill. If he can't get the lance through the ring the first time, it's not going to happen in the next few frames!

I hate all the overacted, overly intense "meaningful" looks/stares in romances, dramas, action movies etc. Like, between a couple (especially when it involves tears- ugh) or between enemies.
Also, when the best friend(s) of the hero/heroine are portrayed like their life revolves around the hero, and they are all about support and help. The best friends have their own lives, too.

Miraculous escapes.

ie, Hero gets cornered in burning car-- bad guys 100 feet away run over and he's gone.

I don't like it in films when somebody says a line that is blatant exposition to explain something to the audience really quick. It's always unnatural, and nobody would speak like that.

An example would be, "Ryan, the notorious old ball in town who lives on at the creepy house where his parents were murdered nine years ago, is at the door."

There's always better ways around it.

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That's a great point. It can often be useful in hour long tv crimeshows, if you've missed some of the action, a brief sum-up. Law and Order for example. Excellent point though, Many cheesy-comical spoofs poke fun at this exact thing.