My father died last night

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I wrote it here because Ash felt it wasn't appropriate to feel nothing for people who have died. If there was a deeper emotional connection there the loss of such a person would have come as a great shock. This wasn't the case, so let's assume the lack of response was a direct result of the man's behavior while he was alive. Or maybe I'm just projecting. If you really did love your father Ash I'm sorry for your loss.



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I wrote it here because Ash felt it wasn't appropriate to feel nothing for people who have died. If there was a deeper emotional connection there the loss of such a person would have come as a great shock. This wasn't the case, so let's assume the lack of response was a direct result of the man's behavior while he was alive. Or maybe I'm just projecting. If you really did love your father Ash I'm sorry for your loss.
While everything you say here is true, there is a greater truth that whoever our parents are, they're the only parents we'll have. Which sometimes sucks.

But equally true, we are able to go forward and find the parents we'd want, and get to know them and learn from them what we wish.

You can't choose your family. But you can choose your friends.
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While everything you say here is true, there is a greater truth that whoever our parents are, they're the only parents we'll have. Which sometimes sucks.
Does that exonerate them from their actions? While there are a lot of positive things you can get out of friendships, nothing can replace the very specific role of parents, or make up for all those years of instability when their primary job was to make you feel safe and loved while you were at your most vulnerable.



Hi Ash, sorry I missed this thread I am not sure if there is much to add, you have been given so much advice. the only thing I could add is try and forgive your Dad for being an addict, unfortunately the drug comes first and takes control. He probably did love you but the addiction was stronger. It doesn't sound like you are bitter about his behaviour, it is ok to be for a while, but bitterness can just eat you up and interfere with your own life. Take care and remember a lot of people love you here
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Ash, thank you for sharing with us. My deepest sympathies are with you and your family.
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I'm so sorry...

My grandma died last week...and I didn't feel the loss either and dunno why, cause I loved her very much.. Believe me, I know how you feel. I suppose it's because you haven't had time to assimilate the fact of his death yet...but there doesn't exist a law that says how you should react to a death, you know...people are different

Anyway my truly condolences