Do I rat on a friend?

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will.15's Avatar
Semper Fooey
There are stories of brides having sex with male strippers at these parties usually of the BJ variety so it works both ways.
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Young Skywalker. Missed you, I have...
Of course it works both ways. I would want to know if my boyfriend had cheated on me before I made any decisions as to whether I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him or not. That is what I am saying. Don't put yourself in the shoes of the cheater, put your self in the shoes of whoever got cheated on. Would you want to know?
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will.15's Avatar
Semper Fooey
Of course it works both ways. I would want to know if my boyfriend had cheated on me before I made any decisions as to whether I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him or not. That is what I am saying. Don't put yourself in the shoes of the cheater, put your self in the shoes of whoever got cheated on. Would you want to know?
The problem isn't putting yourself in the shoes of the cheater. Do you really think that is what I am doing? Yes, if someone I am with is messing around, I want to know about it, but that isn't the problem. If some guy you had a platonic friendship with told you he was BJ'd by a girl when he was in a steady relationship with someone else, and you hardly knew his steady, are you going to be gung ho to tell the steady? Don't you think it is more likely the steady will be more suspicious of your motivations? It isn't worth it. More likely you are just creating trouble for yourself. Best to talk to him, and if you're unhappy with what he decides, stop seeing him.



The problem isn't putting yourself in the shoes of the cheater. Do you really think that is what I am doing? Yes, if someone I am with is messing around, I want to know about it, but that isn't the problem. If some guy you had a platonic friendship with told you he was BJ'd by a girl when he was in a steady relationship with someone else, and you hardly knew his steady, are you going to be gung ho to tell the steady? Don't you think it is more likely the steady will be more suspicious of your motivations? It isn't worth it. More likely you are just creating trouble for yourself. Best to talk to him, and if you're unhappy with what he decides, stop seeing him.
Yes, exactly. I am trying to be empathetic to him. If he were even a decent friend, I'd have told him. I just don't know him that well. I hadn't thought about the motivation aspect until now. He may think I want her to myself

On a separate note, I don't quite understand performing only fellatio on someone to whom you are incredibly attracted . Could women elaborate? If you're really into someone, isn't having sex with them more part of the fantasy?



Tell this guy that's being cheated on to call 1-900-ISAAC-99. That's my psychic friends network. When he's connected, he'll first speak to my operator, Shequeenya, who explains the $2.99/minute charge. Tell Shequeenya that you wanna speak to "Travis." That's a code word that means you're VIP and you need to speak to Isaac (me) and the phone call is on the house (no $2.99/minute charge will be in effect for the phone call).

Shequeenya will connect him to me and I'll give him a free psychic reading where I will inform him about his cheating girlfriend. He will believe what I'm telling him (trust me - I can see the future - I know this) and he won't be mad at you. I will speak to him about the issue for however long he needs to speak about it (my psychic senses are telling me it's gonna be a 55 minute phone call).

I have so much experience with breaking this kind of horrible news to people. Trust me -- I'm very experienced. This will not be a problem for me. Just tell him to call 1-900-ISAAC-99 and ask to speak to Travis (if you don't -- not that I'm worried, I see him doing what I say -- but if you don't, you'll be transferred to one of my psychic friends, such as Miriam, Charlie, Vivian, Rachel, Ed, Madonna or LaToya).

Yes, so just tell him to call Psychic Isaac at his psychic hotline number as soon as possible (but I know it'll be June 13th).



Ok, this is an odd post admittedly but I think my anonymity here would be helpful.

Background: I have a female friend, who is quite attractive but her vacuity is so apparent -- at least to me. I never found her appealing in a romantic way. In any case, 6 years ago she found a timid but very smart PhD student to date. I didn't get the connection until I realized his meager experience. She complained continuously that he hasn't proposed or sped up his life for her. She's getting older (28) , she wants to buy a house , have kids - - and so on.

The situation: this girl messages me that she is so physically attracted to a man that she can't help herself. The man is someone she meets regularly at a lunch spot near her job. I simply told her to change her location until it subsides. She recently met up with me and said it's passed only to admit later that she gave him a blow job during lunch. Now he's texting her inappropriate pictures which she ostensibly abhors but secretly appreciates. She's asking me for advice, and I tell her to consider his feelings and empathize with him.

It's clear she won't tell her bf.. months have passed. She's still talking to the other guy.

I know I shouldn't do anything but if I were in his position I'd wanna know. If I am about to marry someone how I would I feel if they cheated and covered it up? It speaks to more than an impulsive lapse of judgment.

Any argument as to why I should tell him?
If you were in his shoes, you'd definitely want to know what your partner is secretly up to. If someone knew, and didn't tell you about it, you'd surely be hurt-- especially, if you had some soft of relation with the person (friend, acquaintance, etc). I don't believe in ratting, especially when it comes to authority, but this is a private matter. She doesn't appreciate her boyfriend, nor respects him, by her actions and thus is being two-faced, dishonest, and manipulative with the matter. It isn't your business, but at the same point who cares? You can fix this so much as one line: "Your girlfriend is cheating." She'll hate you, the guy will be hurt, but in the end the situation will be for the best.