JayDee's Movie Musings

JCVD and The Hitcher are quality. The Hitcher is a terrifying film, but also has a hypnotizing quality. There's a constant sense of psychological terror. In this sense, Confessions reminds me about The Hitcher.

All these other Van Damme films though, are rated way too high and the love they seem to get around these parts is mindboggling.

Might have known Brodinski would be the one to rain on our parade!

Eh...it's because they're awesome!!! And i think there's so msny fans because the forum has so many 'real' film fans, people who can admire award winning arthouse flicks alongside some Van Damme nonsense. And with you being Belgian I thought you would worship him as a national hero! And I'm guessing you'll be dismayed then when I post my 5 star Bloodsport review!


EDIT - Not saying that you or anyone else that doesn't like Van Damme films specifically isn't a 'real' fan, we all have our mainstream delights and guilty pleasures.

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Omg!

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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
My IMDb page

If a film doesn't entertain me in some way, or I can't get any enjoyment or a sense of 'wow' out of it, then it's not going to get a good rating from me. I can watch blockbusters and action films and enjoy them tremendously. I'm a massive supporter of the M: I series, Bond and Jim Cameron. I can watch films like The Assassination of Jesse James and The Turin Horse and feel amazed at what I've seen.

I can watch Van Damme films, but I don't view them as quality entertainment. They build from one action scene to the other, but even the action is mediocre. There's no grand technical acrobatics or martial arts on display, like you have in Jackie Chan, Donnie Yen or Tony Jaa flicks. Everything about Van Damme, Seagal, and Norris films reeks of mediocrity at best. It's not for me.

What are you omg-ing Mark? Is it just seeing all my reviews you have to catch up on? And I do expect you to read every single one!!!

Sycophants for van Damme!

You inspired me, JayDee.

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#31 on SC's Top 100 Mofos list!!

Let's get this out there right up front; this is not a good film. I mean this is really, really, really not a good film! However thanks to a fairly goofy charm it is enjoyable. The film feels like it's basically one continuous action sequence, broken up by the occasional moment of bromance bonding between Lee and Lundgren. And that worked for me as the action for the most part was very entertaing, and in classic 80s action movie fashion it came complete with novelty deaths and cheesy puntastic one-liners. The action actually reminded me of a classic video game beat-em-up; you've got two guys taking on a group of thugs in a variety of locations (diner, bathhouse, nightclub etc) and the challenge gets tougher with each fight as the number of enemies grows. I mentioned novelty deaths and they culminate in fine style as some superhero-like strength from Lundgren sees the film's big bad sent flying through the air, impaling himself on a spinning catherine wheel of fireworks which sends him spinning round as sparks fly. As for Brandon Lee and Dolph Lundgren; well neither man's performance is likely to be showcased as an example of fine craft at an acting class, but they both deliver likeable characters and together create a nice buddy-cop dynamic. The film also makes the smart decision to get out of there before there's barely 75 minutes on the clock. Oh and the film does score extra points for the inclusion of Tia Carrere, someone I've always found to be very sexy.










Well just to show you all that I'm not completely insane, and that I don't just worship every piece of Van Damme action that's out there. The film doesn't achieve the cheesy quality that many Van Damme films gained and benefited from, instead aiming for a much more serious and straight story. And for me it wasn't able to successfully accomplish such a direction. I just didn't feel it was good enough to be taken truly seriously. The story would have been ok for a TV procedural but for a film it just came across as rather bland. For me I felt it just required a bit more colour and a bit more of an over-the-top nature about it, a flamboyant or eccentric villain perhaps. And despite being a fan of his, sadly the film features Van Damme at his most robotic in my eyes. So with all these let-downs the film is left to rely solely on the action if it's to pull it out of the fire. And while it does deliver a few thrills it just isn't enough. There are a few fight scenes though only one (a battle in the enclosed space of an elevator) that really sticks in the memory. Where the film does come to life on rare occasion however is on the strength of its stunts. There are a few memorable moments which arise from the stunt work including a terrific opening sequence where a chase ends with Van Damme flying through the air on a trike, going headfirst through a car windscreen.

I have to say though that I did have a bit of a headache while watching this so it perhaps didn't get a completely fair shot at impressing me.









A very solid if unspectacular revenge thriller which gets by on the broad shoulders of its star, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. Cliché upon cliché stacks up on this one. The basic revenge story is not the most original to begin with but then we also have a cop who is just about to retire. And we have a hitman who is taking on 'one last job' before retiring to married life. It's a very minimalist film; it's economical with its dialogue and doesn't even give our main characters names, referring to them purely as Driver, Cop and Killer. Though I didn't really like that touch, there didn't seem any reason for it and it just felt forced, like it was trying too hard to be 'cool'. I'm a big fan of Johnson as an actor and I liked him again here. A role where Johnson barely has to speak may sound like he's just coasting, but without words he has to rely on facial expressions and his charisma to sell it, and he does so successfully. While I love seeing him in action films I would really like to see him expand and see just how 'good' of an actor he can be. As someone who usually enjoys the work of Billy Bob Thornton I was also excited to see him here but I was left rather disappointed. It's not that he gives a particularly poor performance or anything, it's just that the film seems to pass him by, as if Thornton wasn't really interested all that much in the film.

I wish Carla Gugino made films I wanted to watch, she so damn sexy.




In fact, she's so sexy that I actually used to watch that Bon Jovi video that she was in, every time I saw it was on.


And she was the best thing about the first twelve episodes of Spin City and, therefore, the best thing about Spin City.

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5-time MoFo Award winner.

I like Maximum Risk, but it's way too generic and standard for me to overly enjoy it. I like the last twenty minutes or so and it's got Natasha Henstridge, so yeah, instant three stars from me.

I'm glad you liked Showdown In Little Tokyo. One of my favourites and the Holy Grail of bad-but-awesome movies.

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"George, this is a little too much for me. Escaped convicts, fugitive sex... I've got a cockfight to focus on."

I'll take Chuck Zitto over Van Damme any day, ha ha. If Norris was to attempt acrobatics, I would laugh my head off. He has always been way too stiff and boring for me.
I have to disagree with you about Seagal. I think his first four movies were exceptional action flicks.
Jackie Chan I've always seen as more of an acrobat than a martial artist but Jet Li , Donnie Yen and Tonny Jaa are the real deal in movie martial arts.

With you about Gugino. Always found her very sexy myself. Although you're right about her lack of great movies. I was really struggling to think of films she'd been in and had to resort to imdb for help.

Although you are insane about her being the best thing about the whole of Spin City!

Hard to argue with that logic!

And yeah SiLT was a good laugh. I should probably have fiddled a little with my scores as while Faster was the 'better' film I enjoyed Showdown more.

Plot – In the future, Earth is united under the milatiristic rule of the Federation. They encourage kids in high school to enlist in the army so they can become 'citizens' and gain numerous advantages over those who do not have citizenship. In one such high school Johnny Rico (Dien) and Carmen (Richards) are a couple about to be broken up by Carmen's desire to become a Federation pilot. Through his love he decides to follow her and also joins up. Before long, both individuals find themselves in a war against an alien bug race from Klendathu. What ensues is a brutal and bloody war against an enemy that proves to be much more intelligent than they anticipated.

Ok I'm not expecting to get much support or rep for this one, or to make many friends on the strength of it. The reason being that a lot of people on here seem to love this film, including some of my biggest supporters such as Rodent and Honeykid. However I personally have to ask the question – is it just me or is this film kind of crappy? It shares a lot in common with 1987's RoboCop, more than just director Paul Verhoeven. On the surface they are rather pulpy, B-movie flicks within the sci-fi genre which have at their core a a strong dose of social satire. While I love RoboCop however, this was a different matter. Throughout I'll point out a few reasons why.

I'm pretty sure that I was able to pick up on most of the satire present; it's just that it didn't particularly engage me. Clearly it's very much a piss-take of the military, the gung-ho militaristic way of thinking and the inherent fascism that comes along with it. And Verhoeven clearly highlights it by placing our 'heroes' in rather Nazi-esque uniforms. And fair play to the film for being really quite prescient with its depiction of events. It's easy to see links to events which have unfolded since such as the War on Terror following 9/11, the underestimation of the enemy, the increasingly propagandist and biased slant that the media would take on etc. I was able to identify and understand the satire but it just felt flat to me, and I just didn't find it anywhere near as intriguing or rewarding as that featured in Robocop. And even if you weren't gripped by the satire of Robocop there was a great chance you'd still enjoy it as it's a cracking good romp. With Starship Troopers however I struggled to really care about the 'story', and the novelty of seeing large space bugs get blown up wore off pretty quickly. I can see it working well as a 22 minute episode of South Park, but at over two hours my patience was getting very stretched.

One of the main problems I had with the film was that I didn't have a horse in this race; there wasn't anyone I felt like rooting for. The human characters were all really hateful little people who I had no interest in cheering for. I initially hated them for their vain and pathetic soap-opera style problems that I didn't care about; for the opening half hour or so I felt like I was watching Star Trek: The 90210 Generation! And then it gets worse when we see them in their army surroundings. They're loud, stupid and ignorant; they came across more like members of a college frat house than of an army division. Perhaps that's part of the satire however as it made me question why idiots like these get the right to choose between the life and death of other beings. They don't seem like men and women fighting a gallant fight, more like soldiers just wanting to revel in and glorify killing people. They reminded me of those cringeworthy videos you see every so often, where US soldiers are shown riding in a tank or truck and they'll turn on a heavy metal rock song and shout some tasteless remarks such as “Let's go kill some gooks/towel heads/something equally offensive!” So I should be on the side of the bugs then right? Except that the bugs have no personality or individuality to them, so there's not really anything there to support either. Whereas RoboCop had Murphy as a sympathetic hero and clearly defined villains that we despised I honestly didn't care about either side, or who won the war. Maybe so, but to me that feels like people desperately scraping for excuses.

As for the acting, well it's just atrocious isn't it?!!! I'm struggling to think of a film that has such a widespread lack of acting talent on show. It's just brutal to watch; so incredibly wooden and forced. Though to be fair, at times they don't appear to have much of a chance as they are asked to deliver some awful dialogue. And spare a thought for the one talented performer in the ensemble, Michael Ironside. If the massive guns they were wielding were real I like to think Ironside would have been so infuriated by their lack of ability that he would have slaughtered the lot! He's like a rose growing out of a patch of manure. I've seen around the web people saying that Verhoeven may have directed the cast to give such poor performances as part of the satire, or that he purposefully cast people with limited talent to achieve that goal.

I'll admit that I was able to get a few cheap thrills from the film, such as the moment a character has his brain and body sucked dry by one of the large bugs. Oh and Dina Meyer's breasts; I got a thrill from them! However my main source of enjoyment actually came from watching some of these pathetic little irritants get killed off one by one! Oh and I also got a real kick out of seeing Neil Patrick Harris in this. Legendary!

The one area where I will give the film unqualified credit however is in its special effects. Even 15 years on and they're still holding up as pretty impressive. Most impressive for me were the spaceships and the space battles. The spaceships are immense and gargantuan creations, you can just feel the sheer weight of them ass they are sheared in half and begin to fall from the sky. The effects aside however, I just didn't find a great deal for me here. Sorry to all the film's fans, especially to my good pal Rodent who I believe has this in his top 5 favourite films ever! Nowhere close to the standards of RoboCop in my eyes.

You know, even though I have ST in my Top 10, I agree with everything you say, yet the reasons you said the movie is bad in places, are the exact reasons I love the movie.

Here's why:

I felt a lot of the crappy elements of the film were on purpose. Kinda like cheesie movies having themselves be knowingly cheesie to play with the audience.

The mindset of the Soldiers too, with the gung-ho attitude toward killing stuff that initially hadn't done anything to humans is a perfect comparison with every other skirmish in human history, which I found quite a funny, satirical, almost tongue in cheek and clever plot point.
Look at American Settlers and Native Indians... it's a perfect comparison for the movie.
It's as though Verhoeven wanted to have that element... if even at a subtle level.

I also know what you're saying about not knowing or caring who wins which I think is again down to Verhoeven portraying Humans as the real mindless killers vs organised Brainbugs... all the time Humans think that we are the brainy ones... in the end, I'd have actually prefered it if the Bugs won being totally honest.

I also liked the cartoonish attitude of the movie segments. Seriously cheesed up and full of satire against the media, great stuff.

The acting, ok, wasn't intentionally bad and I mentioned how bad some of the actors are in my own review. So I agree for sure on that one. Denise Richards I found was the only actor/character that didn't even try to develope over the running time, worst casting ever imho.
At least the wooden Casper tried to change and did a relatively good job at developing his character.

Totally know what you're saying, but I found the whole thing really clever and layered with very subtle detail. Not RoboCop detailed, but certainly clever.

And yes, the effects are top notch... I made a list on here about CGI and Effects ages and ages back, and Starship Troopers topped the list. Awesome, awesome effects.

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If it helps you feel any better, JayDee I can't stand Starship Troopers. I find even less to get excited about than you do I because a) I don't care about Dina Meyer's breast and b) I don't like Neil Patrick Harris.

Congrats on taking it well Rodent. Glad I didn't hurt your feelings too much. And as I was trying to say I could understand many of the choices from an artistic standpoint, but it just didn't help me to enjoy it. I understood why the characters were pretty horrible but I then didn't want to spend over two hours with them.

You don't like Neil Patrick Harris?!!! You don't care about Dina Meyer's breasts?!!! What's wrong with you?!!! There were the best parts of the film, and what my rating was based on. Half a point for NPH, and a point for each of Meyer's breasts!

I used to love Starship Troopers, but I haven't watched it in years. I may have to revisit and reevaluate it.

Plot – Oh Dae-su seems like an ordinary guy, but unbeknownst to him a very extraordinary event is about to befall him. Kidnapped off of the streets, Dae-su awakes to find himself imprisoned in a cell without any explanation. And it's an imprisonment that will last for 15 years. Out of the blue he is then released back into the world and provided with money, expensive clothing and a cell phone. As he attempts to find out the truth about his imprisonment it becomes clear that his kidnapper is not done with him; he has even grander plans to torture and torment Dae-su.

Wow, what an insane mind-f**k of a movie!!! It really is quite an experience viewing this one. And just when you think the film has hit its limit, it takes another twist or two and becomes even weirder and more mind-f**ier!!!

As the foundation for the story, the initial mystery; a man is held captive for 15 years without explanation and then just as inexplicably is released back into the world, is an absolutely doozy. I'd say it's nearly impossible to catch the start of this film and not feel compelled to stick with it to find out just what the hell is going on. And it's not an answer you're going to get to easily. It really is quite a complex little puzzle which will have you off balance throughout. As we reach the film's conclusion however the film does move into some rather more outlandish and ludicrous territory, and I can certainly see why some people will struggle to buy into it. I however felt that the film remained just about on the right side of plausibility. Or maybe I was just so desperate for answers to the conundrums that I was willing to cut the film some slack. When all is revealed it truly is a tremendous gut punch; you feel as if a trapdoor has just opened up underneath you. And if the film hadn't already achieved it in the previous 100 or so minutes the closing scenes ensure that this is a film that is going to stick with you. For a few days afterwards I found myself constantly revisiting it in my mind.

In the lead role Choi Min-sik gives an excellent performance as the psychologically battered Oh Dae-su, a man so absolutely consumed with revenge. To me it was a performance that felt as if it was right out of a Hollywood film from the 70s in the way that it's just really in your face with its sheer intensity; a very large and commanding presence. It's as if he reaches out and grabs you by the throat to ensure you're paying attention and don't miss a single detail. Particularly powerful and striking is the scene at the end where the truth has been revealed to him and he just goes bats*it crazy! A wonderful slice of acting in terms of displaying the sheer pain and desperation of the character.

Film trivia – In the famous scene; or infamous depending on your point of view, where Dae-su eats a live octopus, four live octopodes were consumed. While the scene caused considerable controversy around the world, in Korea the eating of live octopus is common. And at least they got a thank you for their work; when the film was awarded the Grand Jury prize at Cannes, the octopodes received a thank you from director Park Chan-wook. On a little side-note, Choi Min-sik is a devout Buddhist and felt the need to pray after consuming the octopodes.

It's tough for me to choose the film's standout, defining moment. The film just features so many of them; is it Dae-su eating a live octopus? Is it the cutting out of a tongue? Or is it the torturous scenes of dentistry with the aid of a claw hammer? Well for me personally it isn't any of those moments but the incredible hallway fight scene. Filmed in one continuous shot along a corridor, it sees Oh Dae-su taking on numerous adversaries with nothing but a hammer in his hand. It's a tremendous, bravura piece of movie-making. It's about as far removed from a stylish, choreographed action sequence as you could imagine. It's raw, rather clumsy and spectacularly brutal. It just feels so real. It actually reminded me of the harsh scene of violence in Taxi Driver where Travis Bickle unleashes his fury in the brothel. An incredible scene.

That's not the only moment where the direction of Park Chan-wook impresses. He provides the whole film with such incredible verve and energy. It feels very reminiscent of Tarantino bursting onto the scene in the early 90s. They give you something that you feel you've never seen before, and that makes you wonder how you ever lived without it. Indeed with Tarantino heading the Cannes jury in 2004, it's little surprise that this film walked off with the Grand Jury prize. I can certainly imagine QT admiring much of this tragic revenge thriller.

My one concern about the film, and perhaps why it didn't receive a slightly higher score, is it's replay value. So much of my enjoyment and fascination came from the massive amount of intrigue, and the sheer shock of the revelation, and without the mystery I'll be curious to see if there's enough there still to thrill me. Speaking of being curious, I am now tremendously curious about the upcoming American remake of Oldboy. It's tough for me to picture an American production going into such dark and unseemly territory as this does in its conclusion.

Conclusion – A real 'experience' of a film. Even if you don't like this film it's unlikely that you will be forgetting it anytime soon, if ever. It's an astonishingly brutal and gripping tale which is delivered with immense intensity by Park Chan-wook, and stars a tremendous turn from Choi Min-sik. Oldboy certainly lives up to its billing as one of films of the 00s that you should see.

Now we're talking. Good review. Much nicer to read stuff I agree with than all this (semi) praising of utterly ***** action flicks.

Well there's a bit of a back-handed compliment! I think I'll just concentrate on the 'good review' bit and say thank you.

Glad you liked the review and Oldboy. After my Van Damme season I'm having a little bit of a world cinema season so will be watching a few more you may like. How many get full review treatment not sure just now