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Like its title, "Cradle 2 the Grave" means absolutely nothing. Lacking sense or even attitude, this martial-arts action-adventure is basically a series of fight scenes strung together.
You know the drill: Rap plays on the soundtrack, and people kick one another in the head. Anything that moves is quickly commandeered for a chase scene; anything that doesn't move is eventually blown up, in slow motion.
Andrzej Bartkowiak is the director, and although he has a certain skill with this sort of train wreck -- he made "Exit Wounds," the only passable Steven Seagal movie in a decade -- there's not much he can do for "Cradle." Trying to paper over implausibilities with excess, he gets three fistfights going at once and intercuts among them.
DMX, who co-starred in "Exit Wounds," tries to make the move to mainstream action status. Taut as his tattooed triceps are, though, he still delivers lines as if they were groceries.
Jet Li, who was in Bartkowiak's "Romeo Must Die," plays the 007 from Taipei. Although the billing suggests he's the star, he remains an afterthought. Typical of Hollywood's treatment of Asian actors, the movie sees him only as workaholic cipher, the sexless action doll with a kung-fu grip. (Adding insult to insult, one character refers to him as "the Chinaman.")
There are a few lively action scenes. Li gets drawn into a no-holds-barred brawl that involves bone-crunching, groin-crushing and even a bit of dwarf-tossing; DMX takes an all-terrain-vehicle on a ride up flights of stairs and across roofs. And the film features what might be filmdom's first Death by Lobster Claw.
None of this excuses the script's absurdities -- things like jewel thieves equipped with anti-tank missiles -- or the lack of respect shown Li. The action film that begs to be made stars Li, Jackie Chan and Chow Yun-Fat taking on all the Hollywood agents, writers and directors who keep relegating them to supporting parts in the genre they helped invent.
Final Grade - D-
You know the drill: Rap plays on the soundtrack, and people kick one another in the head. Anything that moves is quickly commandeered for a chase scene; anything that doesn't move is eventually blown up, in slow motion.
Andrzej Bartkowiak is the director, and although he has a certain skill with this sort of train wreck -- he made "Exit Wounds," the only passable Steven Seagal movie in a decade -- there's not much he can do for "Cradle." Trying to paper over implausibilities with excess, he gets three fistfights going at once and intercuts among them.
DMX, who co-starred in "Exit Wounds," tries to make the move to mainstream action status. Taut as his tattooed triceps are, though, he still delivers lines as if they were groceries.
Jet Li, who was in Bartkowiak's "Romeo Must Die," plays the 007 from Taipei. Although the billing suggests he's the star, he remains an afterthought. Typical of Hollywood's treatment of Asian actors, the movie sees him only as workaholic cipher, the sexless action doll with a kung-fu grip. (Adding insult to insult, one character refers to him as "the Chinaman.")
There are a few lively action scenes. Li gets drawn into a no-holds-barred brawl that involves bone-crunching, groin-crushing and even a bit of dwarf-tossing; DMX takes an all-terrain-vehicle on a ride up flights of stairs and across roofs. And the film features what might be filmdom's first Death by Lobster Claw.
None of this excuses the script's absurdities -- things like jewel thieves equipped with anti-tank missiles -- or the lack of respect shown Li. The action film that begs to be made stars Li, Jackie Chan and Chow Yun-Fat taking on all the Hollywood agents, writers and directors who keep relegating them to supporting parts in the genre they helped invent.
Final Grade - D-
