Sexy Cineplexy: Reviews

TAXI DRIVER
(directed by Martin Scorsese, 1976)


I guess I never truly watched Taxi Driver until yesterday. I must have missed the ending or something before. I vividly remembered most of the movie, even though it's been years since I saw it. But I always thought...

So, it was almost a virginal experience for me with Taxi Driver, and I don't mind 'cause who better to take your virginity than Robert De Niro? I'll never understand what possessed Jodie Foster to go lesbian after being in such close contact with the young Robert De Niro. He must be such a strong, masculine force field that he completely obliterated Jodie's thin veil of heterosexual lust. It was too much. Tornado De Niro obviously picked up her house and it just came crashing down into k.d. Lang Land.

Anyway, the film, as I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with (but just in case you aren't) is about a 26 year old lonely taxi driver in New York who is going crazy. He formerly served in the Marines, so he's a military man. He hates the lowlifes that are spread throughout the town. He spends his days trying to woo Cybill Shepherd, who is a campaign volunteer for Senator Charles Palantine, who's running for President. His idea of the perfect date is dinner and a porno movie. The last part gets him rejected by Cybill, who ridiculously flees from him at the porno theatre and stops speaking to him. Now... think about this. I would have studied the porno movie for tips on what to do with Robert afterwards. Wouldn't you do the same? At the same time I'd be spending quality bonding time with him, holding hands, ooooh, and looking away and kissing during those awful vaginal oral sex scenes. UGGGGGHHHHH! Cybill Shepherd's character should have been the whole focus of the movie, Taxi Driver. Anybody who dumps Robert De Niro over the littlest thing has GOT to already be FULLY INSANE.

Anyway, long story short, Robert De Niro gets nuttier and nuttier. He buys some guns, he freaks people out talking to them, he shaves most of his hair off, etc. He also befriends Jodie Foster, who plays a 12 year old prostitute. She shouldn't have been hanging around Robert De Niro at that age. As I already said, he was too much for her. Once she met him, she came to the conclusion that all other men weren't as good.

In all seriousness, Taxi Driver is phenomenal, completely attention-getting, mystical, and better than ever on Blu-ray. I will watch it many more times -- now I have a clear picture on how it actually ends -- and I will enjoy it. It's definitely one of the best movies I have ever seen. There's a lot going on here in this little movie about a taxi cab driver and it deserves serious study and exploration.

Thanks Sexy

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
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Will wait for this to come out on DVD

Candy
(directed by Neil Armfield, 2006)



Candy was a rare experience for me. I was very touched by this film and yet it didn't even really require me to stay focused on it. But you can easily pick up on its sincerity and deep, emotional honesty. This is a poetic movie that deals with a young couple in their 20's that are both ravaged by intense drives to self destruct. The villain in their lives is heroin while the dark forces behind their lives is madness and family dysfunction. Heath Ledger stars as Dan, the boyfriend to Candy, played by Abbie Cornish. This is their tragic tale.

The film is divided up in three parts: Heaven, Earth and Hell. Heaven sets up the story with Dan and Candy already together and already in ruins. She works as a prostitute, he doesn't work. They are highly addicted to heroin and Dan's father, Casper (Geoffrey Rush) is gay, lonely and also addicted. Candy has a more typical family, a mother and a father that love her dearly, but Candy's mother is a nightmare -- she picks on Candy about everything, she screams and rants and gives disgusted looks at Dan. Dan and Candy do a lot of stealing and they live in shabby dwellings. They might as well be homeless bums.

During Earth, the events of the movie get more intense and jaw dropping. There's a pregnancy and a depressing end to the pregnancy. Hell seemed like everything was about to pick up for once, but Hell wasn't supposed to be ironic, and we do see Hell.

If you're a person who hates the sight of needles going into arms, you might feel squeamish at times during this movie, as the only way to shoot up with heroin is with needles going into veins in the arms. If you're a person that likes naked flesh, Heath Ledger shows his ass crack a lot (and full ass at one point) and Abbie Cornish shows her breasts a few times.

It's terrible knowing that Heath Ledger is no longer with us. There were moments in Candy where I couldn't help but think about the way Heath died. He was a gorgeous creature and a gifted performer. This could have been a very bland movie, but Heath gave it so much life. As for Abbie Cornish, I didn't think she made the movie and frankly, I hated her character, but there was definitely very good chemistry between her and Heath. Their sad, depressing, tepid romance kept me glued to my seat until the end credits.

Nebbit, I think you would probably like this movie as it's an Australian movie and it also deals with mental health issues, but I also recommend this movie to everybody. It's sublime.

This is a slightly old one to bring back up but I just wanted to say while I disagree with you on the movies technical merits (I thought the club scene was pretty impressive without being showy, both the way the camera glides across and up the club on a smooth chord, subtly intersecting the railing, and the sound-design which gives a good sense of the place without losing the dialog. Maybe it was just your tv?), having just seen it I agree with your overall assessment. It seemed pretentious. I don't usually like to just throw around the word pretentious without some sort of explanation so what I mean by that is that it was pretending to be a topical critique but was actually kind of glib. One problem I had enjoying it was that although it would have undercut the blatant satire about the shallowness of Zuckerberg's view of girls, it might have helped to have some actual female characters who weren't just stereotypes. The closest it comes is with his first girlfriend telling him off but to me the pay-off (the corresponding "you're not an *******, you just try to be one") was incredibly fatuous. It felt so tv-like in the end.

A recurring theme in the movie was that facebook is a huge social force and that nobody knows what it means yet for society. I didn't think it was a bad movie (mostly for the technical reasons I already mentioned - it's very cinematic) but I definitely agree with you that the near-universal gushing is undeserved.

Looking for Kitty
(directed by Edward Burns, 2004)



David Krumholtz is an actor you may recognize from films like The Santa Clause, Slums of Beverly Hills, the Harold and Kumar movies and several other things, but he never really seems to get starring roles, though, correct me if I'm wrong. Here he is in a starring role as Abe Fiannico, a sexy Italian baseball coach who has gone to New York City to find his missing wife, Kitty, with the help of a detective named Jack, played by the movie's director, Edward Burns.

Oh, dear, I'm afraid this movie didn't have much to it. We figure out early on that Abe's wife hasn't really gone missing -- she's just left him. As for Jack, the detective, he too shares a similar pain with Abe -- his wife died sometime ago. So, this is a movie about two lonely men who have lost the women they were devoted to. Jack and Abe go and do the detective work together - Abe's paying for it all, including involving himself in Jack's work. What's really strong in this movie is just watching these two guys explore new ways of living. Abe is set in his ways - which explains why he can't let go of his wife. He doesn't eat international food -- only American and Italian food, as he explains. Jack refuses to eat inside restaurants, always just outside. Abe doesn't drink coffee. You see them gradually break out of their traditions.

The whole plot about looking for Kitty got boring. She's with a rock star. During the movie, I thought they were saying she had run off with Rod Stewart, but I was hearing them wrong -- Ron Stewart, not Rod Stewart. Anyway, the movie isn't really that funny. Rachel Dratch (Saturday Night Live) has a role as a lonely, married alcoholic woman who hits the bars and parties and runs into Abe a few times, commenting on how sexy he looks with his mustache (I agree with her, I think the guy is gorgeous). She ends up sleeping with her boss at one point (Rufnek, I think you'd like this movie).

I almost fell asleep during it. I wanted to just close my eyes and drift away, but I didn't. I couldn't. It's definitely not the absolute worst movie out there, but it's certainly not a winner.

By the way, this is the first movie I've seen where a character sleeps on paper towels.

Thanks for your great review Sexy I own this movie I found it quite realistic and emotional journey

Fair enough. I think the movie is best when it's making fun of the flattened abstraction of social dynamics the site offers (like the scene where Eduardo's girlfriend flips out because he hasn't ticked his dating status online that you mentioned - I thought that was pretty funny too), but ultimately stays kind of coy about whether the site is what you say - just an electronic phonebook with bells and whistles - or something bigger. I felt similarly uninterested in the characters and plot for the most part, kind of hits all the standard buttons of the status/sex/money vs. friendship and human interest playbook.

Could the same skillfully crafted, yet all-too-familiar tones be said for Fincher's Benjamin Button and that whole "genre"?

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"Loves them? They need them, like they need the air."

Is that directed at me or sexy? I don't necessarily want to take over his thread, but for my part...

I'm not really sure what you mean by tones. If we're talking about the immersive cinematography and sound editing, then yeah they are comparable. Both of them give you a palpable sense of being a disembodied visitor in a richly-cinematic space. I'll have to see Benjamin Button again but I definitely had more emotionally invested and at stake in that movie. Which is odd given that The Social Network is ostensibly about a zeitgeist that I'm a part of.

What things did you think were laudable, other than tone? Or was that enough?

The King's Speech
(directed by Tom Hooper, 2010)



Stammer Time!

I liked The King's Speech. I can't say it felt like Best Picture at the Oscars material to me, but it was a very good movie. Colin Firth made the movie as Prince Albert, the Duke of York and Geoffrey Rush turned in a good performance as well, but it was the script and story that really shined.

The film opens hilariously with Albert's speech at Wembley Stadium. I couldn't make out anything he said, really. It was delightfully garbled. From there, Helena Bonham Carter, as his wife, goes and finds Geoffrey Rush, a speech therapist, and of course he turns out to be the best one Albert's ever encountered - and he's encountered many.

This speech therapist, Lionel Logue, sees all speech problems similarly and it looks like the real roots of Albert's problem lie psychologically. The movie is about whipping a soldier into a war hero, so to speak. Lionel helps Albert to relax and also get angry -- experience the repressions he's been keeping that have stifled him as a person and made him meek. The movie also deals with Albert's older brother, who is given the throne after their father dies, but he does not have the right mindset to be king -- he cares more about an American bimbo from Baltimore that on's divorce #2 already. Lionel helps Albert define his own character, take power, stand strong and speak with righteousness.

This movie was absolutely gorgeous in terms of its cinematography -- an amazing Blu-ray picture with this movie. Wonderful set pieces, wonderful use of color. The King's Speech is marvelous and modern with its zesty portrayal of England in the early 20th century. The film certainly looked like Best Picture material.

But, ya know, I wasn't too certain that I'd be that interested in a movie dealing with a speech impediment, especially a historical film with that kind of plot. How boring and lame, it seems at first. And this is a Best Picture winner? I said, take me to the wind. Let's see if this movie has the power to pick me up and carry me against my will over to these historical speech therapy classes.

*I* actually have a historical speech therapy past, myself. I had to go to speech class in elementary school for a few years. I'm not even truly sure why or how they even realized I needed these classes, but I usually HATED them, because I'd have to go when it was recess time for the rest of my normal class, or something. Sometimes I'd get to avoid boring class work in order to go to my little private room where a woman would spend a whole hour dedicated to me (and it was free and I bet you never thought I had one-on-one sessions with a woman before!) The King's Speech actually brought me back to that time of my life. I used to have to do tongue twisters (Six sexy sailors sailed the seven seas searching for six sexy celebrities searching for seamen.) Actually, I remember my biggest problem concerned the letter "s", so I'm not kidding about how I had to concentrate more on S's and S themed tongue twisters. So, when I was a kid, I couldn't even say my own name - "Sexy" - right.

So, yeah, The King's Speech reminded me of myself in ways. That was a long time ago, though, and I really did not appreciate those speech classes -- I actually had my parents take me out of them. I feel pretty good about my ability to speak, now. If anyone thinks anything is wrong, I don't hear about it. I'm certainly not afraid to give speeches -- I have done so many times and I actually quite like it.

Enough about me. The King's Speech was very good and I do recommend seeing it. It will surprise you.

Nice review Sexy and I loved the little connection you had with the character I did like the movie

Nebbit's new avatar inspired me to change mine to when "The Kid" was a little older.

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My Own Private Idaho
(directed by Gus Van Sant, 1991)



This movie should have been a video game -- one in which you shoot at and kill the characters! Excuse me, but, did I miss something here? I'm looking up information about My Own Private Idaho on the web right now and I'm seeing that it's actually based on William Shakespeare's Henry IV and Henry V. Odd, considering that at one point during the movie, I thought to myself this seemed like a movie adapted from one of those incoherent Yoko Ono songs!

The movie is about a narcoleptic gay street hustler, played by River Phoenix, and his fellow hustler and friend, played by Keanu Reeves. The events of this movie take place in Portland, Oregon, although sometimes it takes place on a long stretch of road out in the middle of nowhere. River Phoenix does nothing but beautifully fall asleep in the middle of sex (while thinking about his long lost mother) as if he's Sleeping Beauty and Keanu Reeves is pretty much there to pick his butt up and carry him off to safety -- hey, I wouldn't mind having that kind of service by Keanu.

Family issues abound. Daddy issues even more, despite the fact that the only semblance of a plot revolves around River's desire to find his mother. River and Keanu find themselves living in a big, abandoned house with a group of other street hustlers and deadbeats. It looks like the Fight Club house, only a lot less appealing since Brad Pitt wasn't there. This is where the movie started to get on my nerves, as the beginning was somewhat interesting, although it wasn't doing much to get good footing in. The abandoned lost boy goons (and one very old woman) carouse around at night in robes and act like fools and bratty children. I was very bored. I had trouble focusing with this movie. There's a scene in this movie where some of the hustlers start talking about horrid sexual experiences with their customers, who rape them, and I found Madonna singing "Cherish" in the background more interesting and attention grabbing.

The cinematography in this movie was BEAUTIFUL. Visually, My Own Private Idaho is stunning. In high definition, it was quite a scene, and this was Cable TV high definition, so it's not even as good as what a Blu-ray could do. But as a story, I thought My Own Private Idaho was hospital Jell-O. Yet I'm seeing a lot of rave reviews for this movie online and I just don't get it.

What was the message? I kind of liked how things sort of changed by the end of the movie - mainly with Keanu - but this movie was not very clear about everything. My Own Private On Demand cable description called the movie "surreal" -- I wouldn't say this movie is surreal. Metaphorical, perhaps.

I liked how it explored the sensitive, feminine nature that's found in most gay men, yet I wouldn't call this movie a study of such a thing. River Phoenix's character, though, GOT ON MY NERVES. All he does is mope around and act like he's dying. He doesn't cry or freak out or anything (although, wait a minute, I do remember him having hissy fits at times), he just sort of crawls around, goes into narcoleptic sleep, occasionally he comes to life, but only during Ice Age periods of the movie.

Keanu Reeves was the star of this movie. He never looked like someone who'd be out walking around on the streets, but he was hot, gorgeous, darkly handsome and commanding. There's a scene where he appears on a gay porn magazine cover and comes to life -- ooooohhh, the things I'd do to that magazine! I was very touched when River Phoenix expressed his love for Keanu by a fire while laying out in the woods -- very Brokeback Mountain-esque, and wanting a kiss from Keanu, but Keanu wasn't being very cooperative, wasn't letting him have him. Poor River Phoenix. Two years away from death and can't get Keanu to make him his bitch while out in the middle of nowhere in front of a hot fire. How does the world keep going around with that little amount of love?

However, I do understand if you don't have much love for My Own Private Idaho. This seems, to me, like a very personal movie of Gus Van Sant's. An exploration of his own homosexuality. I do commend the effort, but I was very bored by the story, I did not like the guys running off with these silly homeless junkies and then having to witness these boring-as-hell vagrants take up my time. I felt like the movie tried hard to make these silly characters and scenes - not even just with the vagrants and hustlers - important and interesting, but they were not. The movie's heart was with Keanu and River, and I felt like not enough was done to fully explore them, to show us them interacting. The movie is a hot mess.

Madea's Big Happy Family
(directed by Tyler Perry, 2011)



This was a monster movie. This was a monster movie and all of the monsters were the young female characters in relationships. I have never seen such a blatant display of nasty, venemous women treating their boyfriends and husbands like big piles of dirt when they were trying to be loving and caring and do the right thing. We all know Madea Simmons (Tyler Perry) is a monstrous, Godzilla like creature, and we all -- or maybe just I do -- love her for that. Madea's Big Happy Family is about Madea's baby monsters that I guess popped out of her and are now terrorizing ghettos across the land. Although, I don't even know how these characters are actually related to Madea -- every movie, she's got new relatives! I'm starting to think the Madea series is really a front for Gremlins sequels and this is how the Gremlins have evolved!

A woman by the name of Shirley (Loretta Devine) discovers that her cancer is back at full force. This prompts her to wanna be closer to her family, which includes a few grown up sons and daughters. All of the women connected with her kids - whether it's a daughter, a daughter-in-law or a baby mama - are ferocious, man hating, man humiliating warthogs. Madea comes along and barks orders at them, or drives her car through a fast food restaurant, or loudy interrupts a relative who's a real estate agent showing a house. Madea wasn't that bad though -- she's quite hilarious in this movie and that's what matters. In fact, for once, it felt like Madea was actually more in the movie than usual. In the other Madea movies, there's always a smaller story concerning her and a bigger story that's more serious and actually drags the movie down a lot -- 'cause, face it, Madea's scenes make the movie seem A WHOLE LOT different and definitely not serious. Kudos to Tyler Perry for actually achieving a much better balance this time. In fact, the monstrous women actually served the plot well, as their ridiculous demands were more in line with the insane story.

And what an insane story! We've got characters appearing on Maury Povich, we've got some deep, dark secrets about a family being revealed, we've got mayhem at a fast food restaurant, we've got a death, a funeral, a couple of music videos (one a gospel video) playing at times during the movie. We've got ranting and raving and smacking and weed smoking old ladies. We've got prostate exams and DNA tests. We've got people getting arrested. We've got people finding out their sister is really their mother -- they have it all in Madea's Big Happy Family.

I was entertained. I like Madea. This movie is a little different than the other films, but I'm not sure if it's better or worse. I think if I had to pick the most entertaining Madea movie to watch, this one would be it, but I'd have to deal with the noise coming from those hellish witches that Tyler Perry created. DAMN. Imagine if Tyler Perry did a Disney cartoon. That would be nightmarish. There would be some seriously scary ass villains, and the sad thing is, Madea would be the princess! Anyway, this is definitely one of the more entertaining Madea movies. Not dull at loud -- it's too loud to be dull. But at the same time, I found it kind of depressing, idiotic - characters were stupid and could not see the obvious thing to do. I hated all of the religious/Jesus Christ stuff thrown in.

But it was funny at times. Madea had some great lines. I just think it was scarier than Scream 4.

Oh God. Sorry. That's the first thing which popped into my mind... again.

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May give this movie a miss

SOURCE CODE
(directed by Duncan Jones, 2011)



Source Code made me feel like I was watching an exquisite, classic work of cinema, something that would be remembered for decades. I was with this movie from beginning to end and because I didn't know much about it going in, it was a lot more enjoyable eventually learning its secrets and getting to know the characters within it.

I could not possibly reveal too much about this movie here. I've seen a few reviews for Source Code on Movie Forums and they didn't look too positive. Well, I don't know what you guys were thinking. This movie had a lot going for it, and yes, that God Among Men Jake Gyllenhaal really helped bring this movie alive.

The movie is a fascinating science fiction story dealing with an army helicopter pilot who finds himself on a train in a body that is not his own. He sits across from a beautiful woman around the same age as himself - eight minutes later, the train blows up. What follows is the story of that man eventually discovering what's going on and as you learn along with him, you'll become intrigued and satisfied. It almost seems like the movie might turn out boring, but it does not. It was one of the most thrilling, most brilliant pieces of art that I have ever seen.

Yes, Jake Gyllenhaal takes a lot of credit in making this movie work. He plays a studly military man - yet again - I like when Jake plays roles like this. He is all man and I'm so happy they chose him to play this role, the role of Colter Stevens. Some of the other actors turned out pretty good, too -- Vera Farmiga, Michelle Monaghan and Michael Arden. The one flaw this movie had, though, was with Jeffrey Wright's character. I also thought it didn't quite end on the right note, but everything else was absolutely flawless.

I would say that Jake Gyllenhaal deserves an Oscar for this movie. I went into this movie thinking this was gonna be forgettable, but it soooooo was not. It is part romantic - a bizarre romance, but that's all I'll say - very cutting edge science fiction - very classic - very exhilarating. It was weird and universal and yet captivating and action packed. It is a movie about a hero and the timeless essence of a hero. Jake Gyllenhaal, you may have just made the movie of your career. You never cease to amaze me and this time you picked an excellent script to work with. This is Die Hard for the future. This is The Wizard of Oz for science fiction.

It might have a few flaws, but I honestly think a stretch of the imagination should correct and patch up those problems. I heartily recommend Source Code.

Nice review Sexy I will be seeing this one

The Missouri Breaks
(directed by Arthur Penn, 1976)



Fierceness is Marlon Brando! The Missouri Breaks is a western that pairs Jack Nicholson and Marlon Brando as hero and villain and, boy, does Brando play a villain. While he may have legitimate reasons to go after some rustlers after being hired by a possibly gay land baron, Brando's character, Robert E. Lee Clayton, a "regulator", is an eccentric, possibly gay, very messed up, psychopathic mastermind. It was like watching Hannibal Lecter at work in the old west. This man knows how to catch prey, knows how to manipulate people psychologically, knows when to strike. Brando's performance stole the show and made The Missouri Breaks absolutely unforgettable to me.

Jack Nicholson was flaunting his acting talent as well, but his performance was toned down, masculine, vulnerable and yet steady. Here he is as Tom Logan, a rustler avenging a friend's death at the hands of David Braxton (John McLiam), the land baron who takes the law into his own hands. Tom has also attracted the attention of Braxton's virgin daughter, Jane, who rides up to Tom on her horse and practically begs him for sexual intercourse. Giddy up! He gives it to her, although later. Brando at times catches them through his binoculars. He enjoys their little trysts. He also likes to look at the birds.

Sometimes, the movie got a little boring, but that's probably my own fault. I'm not a western lover - yet, anyway. I don't always enjoy the scenes where all the men get together and just do things like talk or gather horses and things. It all feels so ancient to me. Life was really like this once? I was amused by a scene in which Jack Nicholson and Randy Quaid (who was quite cute in this movie, by the way) and some others go to a whorehouse -- and it wasn't like any whorehouse I've ever seen. All the women were UGLY! There's a funny moment where it looked like, to me, the guys were passing by a room that had a very old whore waiting for somebody to bang her and I think they were horrified, but I was horrified by all of the women in that whorehouse! My gayness increased during this scene. I could feel it. You could have taken my gay temperature (guess where at) for proof.



Speaking of gayness, did I mention that crazy, flamboyant Marlon Brando? He first appears in a loud western getup and we soon learn he's smelling like lilacs. Later, he's wearing a granny dress and a bonnet-like thing. He wears lots of hats and he's always eating carrots (or giving them to his horses while acting strange) and farting or taking a bubble bath and when he's not doing any of that, he's MASSACRING! Well, I've probably said enough about him, but he really helped bring this movie to life. It takes about a half hour before he shows up and the movie was a little stale before then. He seems like he's gonna be this gentle good fellow character at first, but don't be fooled. He's going to get down to business and kill some rustlers.

As for the overall effect of the movie, I could not stand things like the harmonica playing at times on the soundtrack and all the old, usual western movie utensils. The scenery was very good, though - this is a pretty movie -- even for DVD and not Blu-ray. Pacing was pretty good - it's two hours long but engaging and never really boring. All of the elements are used - earth, air, fire and water. Dialogue is terrific and surprising. There are haunting images of burning wood houses and dead bodies and Marlon Brando in a tub and whores that need the tub and a Vidal Sassoon salon. There's romance and sex scenes and Silence of the Lambs-like murder scenes. There's a train robbery. There's gardening. There's scenes that would make P.E.T.A. break in half every DVD of this movie they could find.

I've hardly watched any westerns in my life, but I thought The Missouri Breaks was a Tour de force for Marlon Brando, an intriguing work of Jack Nicholson's, and an overall odd and exciting trip through the mountains, through the past and through the creative, intelligent mind of man.