+4
Hey guys, the only reason I didn't type out the full review last night was because I was tired, but I was so angry that I couldn't help but vent (don't be so hard on me, we've all seen awful movies and were annoyed haven't we?)
Here is my review (copy and pasted from my website):
Alright, so I just went and saw Paranormal Activity last night. Before I go any further and tell you what I thought, I just want to make something clear first.
I think Hollywood has taken horror movies in the wrong direction in terms of how they go about scaring you nowadays. Scary movies now (for the most part...there are of course some exceptions to what I'm about to say) are all about gore, things "popping up and out" of nowhere and "twists".
The gore (you know, some guys abdomen exploding or something) is really more gross than anything. Somehow, Hollywood is mistaking an audiences wincing at arterial blood spray because it is just plain gross, as wincing because it is scary...it isn't scary, we just don't want to puke.
The "things popping up and out" Again, you know this tactic... Girl takes shower, girl gets out of shower, girl looks in mirror (nothing there), girl opens medicine cabinet mirror, girl closes medicine cabinet mirror...SCARY MONSTER IN MIRROR (insert loud obnoxious sound here). Now, during a horror movie, everybody enjoys a good "jump out of their seat moment". The thing is, when that tactic is used as the sole source of "scariness" it just doesn't make the movie scary, it just makes you spill your soda.
Lastly, the "twists", not really a scare tactic so much I guess, but it could be depending on how it is used.
Why did I bother writing all that? Because I thought that Paranormal Activity was going to take me back to the good ole'days of scary movies...where you actually feel scared...where you actually feel uncomfortable...where you're afraid to go home and turn the lights off...
So, did Paranormal Activity accomplish making me feel scared, uncomfortable and paranoid? No...not even close... What it DID accomplish was making me feel as though I would at some point in the future feel scared, uncomfortable and paranoid...but that point never came. It always seems as though that moment is just around the corner, you know, the moment where you are ACTUALLY scared. Since it never happens, throughout the whole movie, you find that the only reason you're even still watching it is because you're afraid that if you leave you'll miss the moment that makes the movie good. Otherwise, you'd either fall asleep or just leave.
Now, there were some "creepy" moments, but they were the kind of creepy moments that should have been built upon and used to truly scare you. The thing is, the whole movie ended up being comprised of "creepy" moments that weren't take full advantage of...in fact, they weren't taken advantage of at all. There was no leveraging of those creepy moments into full blown terror. They just fell flat.
The movie was 1/4 "creepy" moments, 1/4 "am I about to actually be scared?" moments (and you aren't) and 1/2 dialogue (slow boring dialogue...not even dialogue that drives those creepy moments into your psyche for you to develop into "your own terror" so to speak)
For me, this movie was a repeat of The Blair Witch project (which I didn't like and was not scared by). When I went to see The Blair Witch, it was with the sincere feeling that I would be scared while in the theater and upon leaving...however, upon leaving the only feeling I had was on how I could get back my wasted money.
I was left with the same feeling after seeing Paranormal Activity. The thing is, when you go and see a movie that isn't really hyped up and it turns out to be a terrible movie, you don't feel like you've had something stolen from you. You just chalk it up as another crappy movie.
However, when I go and see a movie like Paranormal Activity where the marketing makes it look as though I'm in for the best scary movie I've EVER seen and I'm left with NOTHING (and with this movie, you really are left with nothing), I feel like somebody has punched me square in the face and took my money from me.
And yes, I feel like somebody has punched me in the face and stolen my money...this movie is NOT worth paying to see...wait until it comes out on television and you have the option to change the channel...which you will.