80's Trash from the Future

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Sadly this isn't an 80's movie but boy, does it ever seem like one. Have you seen Mindwarp UF?



Bruce Campbell cashing in on his Evil Dead fame in an altogether strange little movie. It also stars Angus Scrimm from the Phantasm movies.

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We are both the source of the problem and the solution, yet we do not see ourselves in this light...



Sadly this isn't an 80's movie but boy, does it ever seem like one. Have you seen Mindwarp UF?

Bruce Campbell cashing in on his Evil Dead fame in an altogether strange little movie. It also stars Angus Scrimm from the Phantasm movies.
I know it as Brain Slasher, but haven't seen it all the way through. I started watching it on Youtube once but fell asleep - it was late.
Hey, Future, do you do requests?
I'll have to politely decline; kinda already got a list of flicks I want to put in the thread - sorry.



Welcome to the human race...
That's cool, not much of a point in asking because I'd only ever name movies I'd already seen or was going to see anyway.



I have to say, I really like these reviews! Good job! I love these kind of movies, and I've seen alot of the ones you reviewed so far, but there's also a couple I have to check out now! So thank you, and keep posting! (Sorry for the crappy English, I'm from Denmark)



When will we get a new review?



A system of cells interlinked
How about a nice Trash Review (Copyright: Used Future Productions) for Metalstorm:The Destruction of Jared-Syn?

This thing is pure garbage first frame to last...and yet....
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Sadly I've only ever seen the opening ten minutes of Metalstorm (it was awful and I just wasn't in the mood for it) but there are dozens more films I want to cover here.

I've been neglecting this thread recently and will try and get some new reviews up soon





Motel Hell
(Kevin Connor, 1980)
Trash rating


Meat's meat and a man's gotta eat!


Written by brothers Robert and Steven-Charles Jaffe (the latter of whom produced cult 70's robot flick Demon Seed, with subsequent production credits including cult favourites such as Near Dark and Strange Days); Motel Hell was clearly conceived as a send up of the Ed Gein mythos which in turn inspired films like Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, Jeff Gillen and Alan Ormsby's Deranged, and Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The film was directed by Brit filmmaker Kevin Connor who debuted with the Amicus horror compendium From Beyond the Grave and delivered a series of highly entertaining fantasy adventure films throughout the 70's; namely The Land that Time Forgot, At the Earth's Core, The People that Time Forgot, and Warlords of Atlantis (all of which were childhood favourites of mine). Motel Hell would signify something of a coming trend of 80's horror films that aped the slasher, cannibal and zombie themed films of the seventies whilst introducing a distinctly tongue-in-cheek 'comedy' element...

In a now familiar back country locale; farmer Vincent Smith (a grinning Roy Calhoun) and his overweight sister Ida (Nancy Parsons) run the Motel Hell'o' as a friendy rest stop for weary travellers. They're an amiable pair with a famous sideline in smoked meats, and a relaxed attitude when it comes to signing the guest register. People often travel for miles just to sample 'farmer Vincents fritters', and his brother, the local sheriff (Paul Linke) swears Vincent's 'ham' is the best in the country. Only trouble is Vincent and Ida are a couple of cannibals who regularly butcher guests and passers by for meat to use in his products. After all it takes all kinds of critters to make farmer Vincent's fritters...



It doesn't take a genius to work out that Motel Hell plays primarily as a parody of Psycho and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Both Calhoun and particularly Parsons as his volatile sister are amusing (if a little too dead pan) as they attempt to come off as sinister and menacing whilst delivering a subtle blend of gallows humour. The film is very uneven in this respect; not helped by an unfathomably silly plot device involving the planting of victims in a cabbage patch, where they sever vocal chords and nurture them with fertilizer. Rather than maintaining a consistent knowing tone, Motel Hell veers rather awkwardly between horror and comedy with only partial success. When the film gets it right the results are fantastic, with a particular highlight a scene in which a couple of kinky sadomasochistic swingers (hilariously played by Elaine Joyce and E. Hampton Beagle) check in for some fun, and end up as dinner. Similarly effective is a chilling sequence in which a coupe of city girls are captured after falling foul of a trap involving fake cows in the road; resulting in a frantic car chase. These are merely brief high points in an otherwise average film though. All too often Motel Hell comes off as silly rather than funny; with baffling story turns like pretty young motel 'guest' Terry (Nina Axelrod) falling in love and agreeing to marry (the clearly ancient) Vincent, and a nosy veterinarian who wears his best suit to go sneaking around the Smith's slaughterhouse in the middle of the night. The film is well made though, and remains highly watchable, even charming - the scene where Sheriff Smith and Terry watch a drive-in movie through binoculars with the sound pumped through his police radio is another highlight. It's the climactic 'chainsaw fight' ending which no doubt cemented Motel Hell as a minor cult classic however. This final set piece in which Vincent wears a pig's head whilst doing battle is genuinely exciting, looks iconic, and finally delivers on the gore. Overall no comedy masterpiece, but well worth a look for fans of kooky, silly horror comedies.



A system of cells interlinked
Actually, I have been watching the stuff on YouTube, in 10 minute chunks. I will check out the site you mentioned. The latest piece of **** that I watched was 1978's made-for-TV crap fest, Doctor Strange. Loved every second of it!



Bright light. Bright light. Uh oh.
I'm a fan of Motel Hell. I can see how it could bother a lot of people because things like the vocal cord slicing sent some people out of the theatre back in the day. I don't know if they made it back in time to see the tractor pop a wheelie. I'll also admit that if they didn't have the chainsaw duel that I wouldn't be nearly as big a fan. I can give it
without feeling guilty about it. Oh, by the way, I just checked the grocery ads and I'm buying a pound of Farmer John ham later on today.
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Chopping Mall aka Killbots (Jim Wynorski, 1986)
Trash rating

Chopping Mall was the first film produced by Roger Corman's Concord Pictures; the company he formed after selling New World to a group of investors back in 1983. The film was produced by his wife Julie and directed by prolific trash filmmaker Jim Wynorski who also co-scripted along with with TV writer Steve Mitchell. Wynorski would go on to write and direct a glut of ultra low budget slasher, monster and action films throughout the 80's and 90's, but is probably best known for Chopping Mall; his sequel to Steve Carver's 1974 success Big Bad Mamma, and the barbarian cheapie Deathstalker II. It's clear that with Chopping Mall Wynorski and Concord were attempting to cash in on the 80's slasher boom that took hold in the wake of films like Halloween (1978) and Friday the 13th (1980). What sets the film apart and makes it infinitely more interesting however is the science fiction robot slant most likely inspired by the huge success of James Cameron's The Terminator...



In a possible nod to Romero's Dawn of the Dead the entire film takes place (as the title amusingly suggests) inside a huge inner city shopping mall. The story begins with a commercial for a robot security system in which a would be robber is electrocuted by a droid that looks suspiciously like Number 5 from Short Circuit (released the same year). After the mall bosses agree to buy three of the robots, we skip forward to a group of teens (most notably Kelly Maroney from Night of the Comet, and Barbara Crampton from Re-Animator) planning an illicit party in the mall after they finish work. They're your usual bunch of hormonal college types with big hair and an insatiable appetite for sex and cliched dialogue. There's the cocky gum-chewing jock type (John Terlesky) dating Crampton's character, and the nice guy nerd in glasses who looks like Rick Moranis (Tony O'Dell). Of course things don't go to plan when a storm kicks up, and lightening strikes the robot control room resulting in a 'short circuit' (hehe) that turns them into laser firing kill-bots. The rest of the film has the dwindling bunch turn guerilla after getting locked in by the automated security doors, and raiding Peckinpah's (geddit) sporting goods for some guns...



Chopping Mall
is no long lost classic despite the flashy special effects and tight running time. It has a great central premise of teens trapped in a mall by killer security robots, but the script just isn't witty or clever enough to fully capitalise on the idea. The film is action packed with plenty of chases, explosions, and laser firing robot action, but none of it is particularly inventive or remarkable, and besides the infamous (and excellent) Suzee Slater exploding head sequence; there's precious little gore and violence on offer. Where Chopping Mall redeems it's self is with the knowing in-joke film references sprinkled throughout the film. First off we get a neat little cameo from Mary Woronov and Paul Bartel (of Death Race 2000, and Eating Raoul fame) who pop up making sarcastic quips during the robot demonstration sequence. Corman regular Dick Miller also puts in an all too brief appearance as a grumbling janitor, and just check out the posters in the burger bar; it's like a New World Pictures run down. Elsewhere Geritt Graham (Used Cars, TerrorVision) is sadly underused as a doomed computer technician, and we visit more amusingly named shops (Roger's Little Shop of Pets anyone?). So there you have it, Chopping Mall will probably only appeal to Corman fans and aficionados of low budget 80's horror. It's good, if undemanding fun that could have used a sharper script and a lot more gore. But Suzee Slater and Barbara Crampton both 'get em' out' as it were, and at a mere 77 minutes it doesn't outstay it's welcome. In my opinion it's films like Chopping Mall with their cool ideas that should be getting the glossy remake treatment, if only to improve on such a missed opportunity.



Haven't seen Chopping Mall yet. Plan to though. Is that Johnny 5 in that picture?
Hehe. Unfortunately the original masters of the film have been lost, so all the dvd releases are derived from a vhs source and look pretty awful. In other words it's not worth spending any money on.