Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

Thanks mearface

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Star Trek (1 viewing) 2009 Reviews



As an initiate to the realm of Star Trek , this film was a good blockbuster romp - just as in The Wrath of Khan the characters inject much more life into the story than the warping and blasting.

Moving at a brisk pace to introduce a variety of characters all from phase one , although I didn't deem half of them different enough from each other to actually feel like I'm surrounded by characters. As well the antagonist is laughably jammed in here to warrant the action end of the movie. The true fun of the movie is seeing how this team assembles into the legendary crew of the Enterprise , tons of jokes and many of them poke fun at the series itself - such as Chekov's unbearably heavy accent.

So it does work well as a character study , but it's action is quite a detractor. There are a lot of great visual moments in here and none of these moments happen in the course of the fighting. Amateurish shaky camera usage make a task out of figuring out who's doing what and on the level the special effects are done it's a shame the digital camera work doesn't work with what's there and instead against it.

Some of the characters are very enjoyable to follow and there are some great visuals especially on the big screen , it's funny , but poor action and a cookie cutter enemy hamper my enjoyment of this one.

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Tyson looks like an interesting watch - Thanks for the review.

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Three Monkeys (1 viewing) 2009 Reviews



This is what happens when you drag out a 10 minute script into something 2 hours of length. Surprisingly it still works because of the occasional visual "wow" moments and dissectable dialogue from strong actors.

I really shouldn't tell you a single thing about the movie because I would give the whole story away - let's just say it has to do with turbulence in a family's relationship. It's a film very grounded to stationary life with only small changes and twists along the way , you might assume it's one of the most boring films of all time - but arriving at it's conclusion , the withdrawal of big exciting moments makes the whole ride worth it.

As the thunder blasts out in the final scene , the weather's continuance drives home the fact - you've been wounded and no one can hear you. Three Monkeys is understated and simplistic - while delivering a bitter effective message.

Revanche (1 viewing) 2009 Reviews



Well if you thought Three Monkeys was calm , wait until you witness this one. It's the suspense thriller that has an almost complete lack of heart pounding scenes , no music , and long drawn out shots of scenery and concrete - Revanche lured me in with beautiful women and unique visual style , it's a movie that rewards your patience and you must be very patient.

Our main character is about to leave his current life with his love - who's incidentally a prostitute under a man he also works for. An original and clever story unfolds , halfway in the entire premise is refreshed , starting something more exciting just as my interest was waning. Everything that happens does take a long time to happen though and the camera work feels very stoic , interested in only capturing wide well lit environments (which I don't necessarily mind , but it's shown me the grand value of close up shots).

If you're ready to wait as it slowly unrolls , you will be rewarded.

Ponyo on a Cliff by the Sea (2 viewings) 2009 Reviews



Since I'm trying to review all of the 2009 movies I see , I thought I should write a more full write-up on this one in preparation for it's American release later this year (I should probably mention the two above films have been out for quite some time and are just not being released in the good old U.S.)

Ponyo on the Cliff is a complete visual experience and if you even have the slightest appreciation for animation or very visionary films you will be swept off your feet by this one. It's story is bare bones simple there aren't a lot of complex themes here , aside from the deep feelings the images will conjure in your mind.

Brilliantly looking under and over the water , it's another complete foray into the wonderful imagination of Miyazaki and his team. As always your treated to vividly detailed backgrounds and settings , though this one has a distinct look compared to Miyazaki's others - in that it has more simplistic shading and colors , but is incredibly more smooth and fluent than any hand animated film to date.

Even if you don't have kids to take , everyone should try and see this one for a grand musical/visual experience. If your trying to catch it in theaters later this year , you will have to put up with the English voices - but it's a small price to pay to see this on the big screen.

Thanks Meatface

Up (1 viewing) 2009 Reviews



An honestly heartfelt uplifting action/adventure film with the eye opening visuals you expect from "New Pixar". They've struck gold three times straight and best of luck to them in continuing their streak , but you already know about what qualities to expect from them - what about this movie ?

You probably won't be expecting the brutally depressing situation the main character is positioned in before he sets off on his adventure. We're introduced to two kids looking for fun and excitement - they end up marrying each other through a very emotional montage and their marriage succeeds many years as the two kids become two old geezers. Tragically and naturally Carl's wife passes away and with no family left his existence becomes repetition. As the years go on Carl's cozy life in his house is jeopardized when construction awaits to destroy his house and build more.

It doesn't take long for the house to leave soil , eventually Carl and his young stowaway drift to South America where their original endeavor becomes something else entirely. An old man with a mission stumbles upon a newfound purpose and this is where their adventure stems from.

Visually it's obvious greatness even though there are a foul number of close-up shots which I felt detracted from the overall wide feel of the movie. It's definitely up to standards of their past two films (Ratatouille , Wall-E) , the main attraction being the flying house of course.

One of the best of the year so far , get to seeing this one !

This looks good thanks Meatface

Drag Me to Hell (1 viewing) 2009 Reviews




I had a very unexpectedly good time with this humorous play on the mainstream horror flick. Sam Raimi's over the top camera acrobatics give this movie the punch it needs and ultimately makes for a lot of fun.

We're introduced to an honest woman with a nice boyfriend , everything seems to be going their way until this grotesque old woman begs the girl for a loan - it's a tough call with the old woman's obvious financial troubles getting worse and a promotion on the horizon if she can deny the deteriorating grandma.

"SHOW ME THE DOUGH!!!"

"Sorry granny I'll take the promotion" , well you just insured the plot to this movie. This old broad casts an evil curse on the sensible woman which will take a couple hundred attempts on her life over the course of the film. I got a bunch of laughs throughout , it's silliness taking itself seriously (which is generally my favorite type of comedy). There are a massive amount of jump scares , but what else are you to expect from the guy who made Evil Dead ? (currently holding the world record for jump scares 2,492)

Yoda panned this one for it's brutally dishonest treatment of it's main character - who really did nothing wrong but gets tormented the entire time and spoiler alert ....



I went into this movie with the sensibility that if you are a woman in a horror movie , you deserve everything that's coming for you - including multiple bonks to the noggin , and that's the attitude I got from the movie. Screw the classic heroine ! After how many movies of acting dumb and actually surviving , it's about time they give us a smart one as sacrifice.

A rare find in the horror genre (which I almost completely hate), an oddball mixture of the gross , the scary , and the funny.

I don't remember, meaty. What did you think of An American Werewolf in London?

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Public Enemies (1 viewing) 2009 Reviews



The last time Mann clashed two mega-stars against each other we were rewarded with one of the best crime-thrillers to grace the screen. All the players are set to go with Public Enemies , but this movie fails to deliver on it's premise - with poor technical qualities failing to bring an already boring script to life.

There are a few shining moments buried under pounds and pounds of clutter , but they couldn't begin to salvage this as enjoyable. The actors are on top of their game , the brief moments we have of Depp and Cotillard are very touching - meanwhile Bale convinces you of his scarred , resentful sentiment. I'd just as soon see these actors together in another film. What's ruining this movie is very poor camera-work and even more surprising , bad audio mixing.

Shaky amateur frame-work makes the big shootouts less glorious and more tedious. You'll be begging for classic cinematography in the first 30 minutes after a few botched set pieces (including the very opening scene). The sound also had occasional loud ambient buzzing and often very quiet music or other effects - it really didn't feel like I was watching a polished movie and belongs on the cutting room floor rather a projector.

Well if you can still see through all this , you'd be looking at the story. The big actors who you love to see on the screen don't get that much time actually , I assure you there's a lot of rampant shooting and killing though. It's repetition and it's plain boring , it's not an emotional blast - rather reading the facts and key events in form of police report.

Another giant disappointment in a year already full of them.

I've heard there is problem with the cinematography in this one.

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Suspect's Reviews

The rare awesome shot (all found in the trailer), but mostly very muddled handheld approach. I just wish the movie as a whole looked as good as the poster ...

Can't believe it's taken me till today to find this thread. Great reviews and so well organised. Keep up the good work.

Moon (1st view)



Sam Rockwell's one man show powerhouse sci-fi isolation picture. It could have easily been a film predicated on it's twists , but it gives you the actual guts - the feelings and the emotions.

Rockwell's performance is simply natural and over the course of this relatively short story I came to care about his sake. Kevin Spacey plays a helpful robot with obvious HAL similarities , who's static emoticons actually inject humor into the overall dark/tragic feel of the movie.

It treads over the same ground the best of the genre do , but it holds it's own by avoiding glorification of thought provoking situations - rather it's already a step ahead , the audience has already asked these questions a hundred times and Moon delivers answers.

The budget for this one was minuscule , especially for a sci-fi flick - but it sticks to what works best and still looks great despite the obvious budgetary set backs. What really strings the whole thing together is the haunting , sad musical score.

Moon is a movie about cycles and it's impossible to judge just how great this one is until I see it at least a couple more times ... but I'm willing to pay for another ticket right now.

Thanks Meatface I am fan of Sci-Fi so will go and see this

I really want to watch Moon, every thing i've heard about it has been so positive.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (1 viewing)



I haven't read the books , I've only seen a couple of the movies - all of which I thought dragged on way too long , but had a lot of buried potential. The Half Blood Prince is surprisingly enjoyable because of it's tight story and often exciting school melodramatic haberdashery.

The technical qualities are very realized , lots of special effects and grand lighting schemes make for a movie that's on par with the top blockbusters. It's also got this entire idea of the cast growing up right on film , it's pretty ingenious and it doesn't waste the relationships formed between the characters. Helena Carter was always fun to see on the screen , as well Jim Broadbent (or as I often call him Frank Butterman).

Also , I just now realized after the movie was over that Snape was played by Alan Rickman. The man is an amazing actor , I've probably seen a couple movies where I didn't recognize it was him - including Die Hard where it was him in character acting like someone else ...

For long time fans and people who've never seen a single one , it's a very fun time - well over the quality of this summer's big studio movies. I'm not sure if I'll be rushing out to see the next (and final) installment(s?) , but this one did just fine.