Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

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I really enjoy these reviews
Hey get rid of that link there are young people here
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Will your system be alright, when you dream of home tonight?
Hey get rid of that link there are young people here

but that link is for the young people
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Hey get rid of that link there are young people here
Get em' Nebbs!
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MOVIE TITLE JUMBLE
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The individual words are jumbled then the spaces are removed. PM the answer to me. First one with the answer wins.



Evil Dead 2 (1 view)


Plot : Re-tells the events of the first film in a different way (than what actually happened) - then goes on to have Ash trying to survive inside the same cabin.

Story : Like the first , the story here is basicly absent. It's more of just long pauses of nothing and then something pops out resulting in a gory aftermath. My main problem with this movie is how these constant long silences interrupt the whole movie - it might actually be entertaining having a gigantic battle with these super-natural events - with a consistent pace , but I guess we'll never know. As for a storyline - there really is none , it's just Ash getting attacked by a variation of horrible things.

Visuals : After following up one of the worst looking films I've seen - this completely amazes me ! The visuals are the strongest part of this film , with tons of amazing shots and an extremely energetic camera. The hilariously bad clay stuff has almost been entirely removed from this - and replaced with actually good looking special effects. As for how scary the movie looks - I would say it's less scary than the first , not that it's a bad thing. I'd rather watch a beautifully shot movie that's less scary looking - than something that changes from very horrifying to comedic looking.

Synopsis : Another disappointment - though incredibly better than the first in the visual department (it's also not nightmarishly annoying like the first). The long pauses break up the movie into a boring film with no story to keep you excited while your waiting.

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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Evil Dead 2 (1 view)


Plot : Re-tells the events of the first film in a different way (than what actually happened) - then goes on to have Ash trying to survive inside the same cabin.


Told in a different way due to copyrights from the studios. I hope this did not wave you in your ratings.

Story : The movie really has close to no strong story like the first.


The first had a strong story? Kid go to Cabin, awake evil and try to survive the night. This one is exactly the same, but takes it up another level.

It's more of just long pauses of nothing and then something pops out resulting in a gory aftermath. My main problem with this movie is how these constant long silences interrupt the whole movie - it might actually be entertaining having a gigantic battle with these super-natural events - with a consistent pace , but I guess we'll never know. As for a storyline - there really is none , it's just Ash getting attacked by a variation of horrible things.
Hmm, could these long pauses be there to ummm...I don't know....BUILD SUSPENSE? I don't recal if you've ever seen The Good The Bad and The Ugly, but if you hate long pauses then do not watch that film.

It's also a great way to split up the action, having Ash battle his own hand in a bloody deathmatch is horrific and humorous, then Raimi would give us a pause to catch up with ourselves, yet at the same time this pause is building more suspense. It's bloody brilliant.

Visuals : After following up one of the worst looking films I've seen - this completely amazes me !


The first was shot for 30,000 by young kids in the middle of the woods with crappy equipment. AND IT WORKED PERFECTLY FOR THE FILM. I'm sorry that George Lucas has melted your brain with crystal clear fake images on the screen, but in the horror genre world, the 'quality' of the film used in The Evil Dead is perfect for the atmosphere and deserves respect for what they came out with at the end of the day.

The visuals are the strongest part of this film , with tons of amazing shots and an extremely energetic camera.
Hmm, this is exactly why the first one is soooo good. It has "amazing shots and an extremely energetic camera".

The hilariously bad clay stuff has almost been entirely removed from this - and replaced with actually good looking special effects.
What movie were you watching? I saw claymation all over this.

Synopsis : Another disappointment - though incredibly better than the first in the visual department (it's also not nightmarishly annoying like the first). The long pauses break up the movie into a boring film with no story to keep you excited while your waiting.
Did you go into this film expecting a great story to begin with? You saw the original...you had to know what you were getting yourself into. That's like saying I didn't like From Justin To Kelly because it had singing in it. I'm sorry that you find this film 'boring', but you've missed a clasic horror film here.

Watch out for Army of Darkness though...that has actually has a story.
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Suspect's Reviews



Originally Posted by TheUsualSuspect
The first had a strong story? Kid go to Cabin, awake evil and try to survive the night. This one is exactly the same, but takes it up another level.
What I'm meaning to say is - it doesn't have a story (like how the first one didn't)


Originally Posted by TheUsualSuspect
Hmm, could these long pauses be there to ummm...I don't know....BUILD SUSPENSE? I don't recall if you've ever seen The Good The Bad and The Ugly, but if you hate long pauses then do not watch that film.

It's also a great way to split up the action, having Ash battle his own hand in a bloody deathmatch is horrific and humorous, then Raimi would give us a pause to catch up with ourselves, yet at the same time this pause is building more suspense. It's bloody brilliant.
You don't need long pauses of nothing to build suspense in a movie - it's downright boring and overused in this movie. I also thought the ending of Good , Bad , Ugly was incredibly over-suspenseful , I just started laughing after it lasted so long.

Also , I can't speak for everyone - but I don't need (or want) time in a movie to "catch up with myself" , it's just not fun for me to watch a guy walking very slowly up to some scary sound.


Originally Posted by TheUsualSuspect
The first was shot for 30,000 by young kids in the middle of the woods with crappy equipment. AND IT WORKED PERFECTLY FOR THE FILM. I'm sorry that George Lucas has melted your brain with crystal clear fake images on the screen, but in the horror genre world, the 'quality' of the film used in The Evil Dead is perfect for the atmosphere and deserves respect for what they came out with at the end of the day.
Just because it was shot with such a low budget , doesn't mean it can't look good. The clay is so horribly done - it's just a bad decision to work with it. I also don't think the visuals of the movie work on a "low budget" type of look , it just looks flat out cheesy.

(I'm not sure what George Lucas has to do with anything)



Welcome to the human race...
If anything, the second movie has an even stronger story than the first.

Besides, the movie is only about 80 minutes long. It's about as taut as a movie can get, and as I recall the only real breaks occurred within the first half of the movie where they had to set up all the seconday characters that showed up to the cabin at the halfway mark (you know, so you don't go "wtf where'd those people come from?"). After that it gets even more intense than it did in the first half.

Out of curiosity, did you have the lights on or off when you watched this?



Will your system be alright, when you dream of home tonight?
that youtube thing is blank

but here it is in all of its glory



Welcome to the human race...
My observations...

Are these in order at all and if so, from best to worst or vice versa?

Out of the ones I've seen, I agree with most of your choices. That's all I'll say.

Love the use of the Kikujiro music.

Is it me or is The Life Aquatic on there twice?

And wtf, you have The Dark Knight on there?



They aren't in any order , life aquatic is in there twice - oops ! , and I had to reserve a spot for Dark Knight - just because the trailer amazes me so much. (I did the same for Indiana Jones , i'm about to go see it now).



Welcome to the human race...
Including movies on a Top 100 list based on the trailer and of course the whole "no order" thing - yeah, that doesn't ruin the credibility of the list at all...

Still, like a lot of your choices and at least you presented it in an original manner. So, have a little rep.



Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (1 view)



Plot : An older Indiana Jones embarks upon another quest - his competition now being Russians of the Cold War era.

Story : Unlike many fans of the series , I just recently (right when I reviewed them here) saw the trilogy and loved each film. Though I felt Raiders was the weakest of the three , each one was complete with their desert , jungle , and usually dark temple settings. I felt this fourth installment goes by more similarly to Raiders than any other though , with secrets and mysteries being unraveled throughout the whole movie - but then it has the action appeal of Temple of Doom and Last Crusade : in between the dark temple discoveries.

Harrison Ford is too perfect for this role , as he has aged so has his character - though it really hasn't stopped Jones from doing his usual amazing tricks. Shia LaBeouf plays the younger partner of Jones with such energy : he easily becomes one of the most memorable characters of the whole series. The film constantly hints toward LaBeouf as being the new upcoming archaeologist. Karen Allen also returns as Marion and works just as well as Ford in her role - which brings a lot more back from the older films.

Visuals : Right off the bat the cinematography is outstanding. Though it has some reminisces of the older films , it goes above and beyond what they could ever do. Tons of amazing long shots , backed up by such amazing CGI - a true sight to behold. The trademark action scenes the series is known for , return with even more intensity than before. Comparing this to the previous entries , it's safe to say this is the most beautiful of all of them and it owes a lot to it's incredibly realistic CGI.

Synopsis : Another amazing chapter of the Indiana Jones series and it just might be the best of the four.




Sonatine (2 views)





Plot : Murakawa is an experienced yakuza (Takeshi) given an assignment to make peace between two rival gangs , but after things take a turn for the worse : he and his partners must live out in a remote area by the beach and wait for their next instructions.

Story : Unfolds at a similar pace of Kikujiro , lots of funny dialogue mixed in with very thought provoking themes and authentic characters. The events vary from very violent gangster shootouts to Murakawa and his fellow yakuzas doing fun stuff to pass the time (which is just as fun and funny to watch). Each of the three different sections of the movie are very interesting in their own ways and you are constantly thinking about the characters.

Visuals : When I watch a Kitano movie , I automatically set my standards for the visuals very high. Everything here looks amazing and you can't go far without being flattered by something. Big shots of scenery and close quarters shots that capture many things at once , both work extremely well for the different moods of the film. Actor's facial expressions also make up a huge amount of the movie , without the character even saying anything : your forced to think about what's happening behind the characters dialogue.

Synopsis : A masterfully crafted "gangster" movie. I'd rank it up there with Kikujiro and Hana Bi.