Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

It's not pointless, it gives insight to his character. It shows how easily Norman can just shut off his revulsion at the blood and death around him and just clean it up like it were any old mess that someone left in the bathroom. Look at how emotionless he seems during the scene.

we can't figure that out for ourselves ?

Also , for the pyscho rating : i foresaw this debate - so i'm giving it two seperate ratings

one for people who like horror movies and my personal recomendation

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It's the original Black and White Hitchcock one .

Boogie Nights (6+ viewings)



Plot : Eddie Adams (Mark Wahlberg) works at a nightclub cleaning dishes and doing sexual favors for extra money. One night pornographic film maker Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds) discovers Eddie's huge d*** and asks him to be in a new movie.

Story : The story on the most part is a rise and fall story similar to Goodfellas . But , there are lots of underlying themes - family being a huge one. As Eddie Adams get's bigger in the porno industry his ego gets bigger and to start it off he changes his name from Eddie Adams to Dirk Diggler . Dirk and his friend Reed (John C. Reilly) rise to the top , but eventually they start using narcotics and everything goes downhill from there. This movie isn't just about two characters though - it's about a bunch : Buck Swope , Maurice Rodriguez , The Colonel , Scotty J , Little Bill , Todd Parker , Floyd Gondolli , Amber Waves , and Rollergirl (played by an all-star cast).

Visuals : Filled with tons of tracking shots and other amazing shots this is easily P.T.A's best movie visually. Along with the very realistic locations the movie takes place.

Humor : Though you don't go into this movie expecting a comedy - there are some parts where you just think it's funny : and some laugh out loud funny parts : again similar to goodfellas.

Sypnosis : The greatest movie ever about porn - if you liked Goodfellas you'll defintly like this too.

The Darjeeling Limited (1 viewing)



The Plot : Three brothers meet on a train to rekindle their friendship - after not having spoken to each other for a year.

The Story : Much different from Wes Anderson's other films in which the characters develope over the entire course of the movie instead of being developed quickly. The three brothers undertake a bunch of silly ritualistic healing and eventually you see why they haven't spoken in a year. It does a great job at making it's dialouge so meaningfull as well.

Humor : Has some really funny moments like Wes Anderson's other films , but this film is for the majority of it a drama.

Visuals : Wes Anderson defends his title as a great visual director. Lots of great shots and scenes - with frequent use of the slow motion technique. The train is certainly a big acomplishment in which it's incredibly realistic with tons of scope to it. Although there are some of his pattented shots in it - the movie is dominated by a completly new visual style for the director.

Sypnosis : Lives up to Wes Anderson's reputation. If you think you got his movies figured out , think again.

Beverly Hills Cop (1 viewing)



Plot : Detective Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) has a nack for getting in trouble with police regulations and his boss , he is forced to be carefull after his latest big mess-up. One day his old friend drops by to visit him - but is killed in front of Axel as revenge !

Story : Axel tracks down his friend's killer in Beverly Hills . With the police constantly tracking him to make sure he dosen't do anything against the rules - he befriends the detectives assigned to follow him. Although the story has lots of good ideas and the characters are pretty respectable - it's defintly not the main draw of the movie.

Humor : This is where the movie shines , there is too much funny dialouge to pass up - espicially when Axel takes on different personalities. Also , who could forget the horribly out of place music in the begining.

Music : The intro is a chase scene to an 80's sounding synthesizer heavy dance song with lyrics - it's such a bad idea that it makes the movie stand out just for being so bold. The majority of the movie though is equipped with a catchy theme , that has defintly become more iconic than the movie in my opion.

Visuals : Again not a draw for this movie . The obvious lacking of anything visually spectacular makes this pretty bad as an action movie , but the shooting is actually pretty intense. This movie's action is pretty dependant on shooting in the first place : and it rarley happens so it's excusable.

Sypnosis : You laugh a ton by the end of this movie , but I doubt you'll watch it again for the action.

City of God (3 viewings)



Plot : In a city where the number of criminals out-number the amount of police , anything can happen.

Story : Dosen't ever revolve around one character , but instead many characters. The movie is told with one of the greatest time progressions in a film , starting in the 60's it introduces all the characters you'll see for the rest of the movie - most of them still children. Then you see where they'll be for the rest of the movie as they rise or fall and develope. Toward the end of the movie there are so many characters that you know it's amazing seeing them all interact with each other.

Action : This movie has some of the best action of any movie - gigantic beautifull gun battles : backed up by an amazing soundtrack.

Visuals : Though this is the directors first film - it's really amazing visually : i have no clue who's credit is due for this amazing looking movie but someone knew what they were doing. So many scenes that just blow many other movie's visuals out of the water.

Sypnosis : If it's a foreign film you want , your not gona get much better than this .

Planet Terror (3 viewings)



Plot : An infection that causes people to become mutilated and crave human meat breaks out .

Original Release : Although originally the movie was shorter and was part of the double feature Grindhouse , the original theatrical release has yet to be released on DVD. This review does not count as the review for Grindhouse

Story : Survivors of the deadly outbreak defend themselves from the infected zombie type people. There is seemingly a lot of backstory to the characters and you briefly see some of their problems , but they never develope past that. Lots of the story events are for humor so the story isn't really anything special .

Humor : Laugh out loud funny , some great lines and an the whole theme of the movie is to parody crappy gimmick based movies - making it about as funny as one of those. Seeing this the third time it's not as funny - since the laughs are more simplistic jokes.

Action and Visuals : Tons of blood and gore flying everywhere with super big budget CGI special effects all beautifully put together with a low budget film grain looking technqiue that goes over the entire movie - the main focus of the movie is seemingly here.

Sypnosis : A lot more true to the original version than Deathproof was , though still small time compared to the original Grindhouse - if you haven't seen Grindhouse yet : i suggest you see neither of the two untill you do , the extended footage as well is such a bad idea

2007 Ultimate Review
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I will now put a review up for every movie that has come out this year (that i have seen). Though these reviews aren't being written directly I have scene the movies like all my other ones - I've seen close to all of them twice at the least . Here is a list of the movies that will be reviewed or have been already reviewed that have come out this year.

Black Snake Moan
Zodiac
300
The Hoax
Aqua Teen Movie
Hot Fuzz
Spiderman 3
Knocked Up
Evan Almighty
Ratatouille (going to be viewed again soon)
Transformers
Hairspray
The Simpsons Movie
Rush Hour 3
Superbad
King of Kong : Fistfull of Quarters
Darjeeling Limited
American Gangster

movies still coming out to be reviewed

No Country for Old Men (not out yet)
There Will Be Blood (not out yet)
Southland Tales (not out yet)

Black Snake Moan (1 viewing)



Plot : Rae , a sex craving woman (Christina Ricci) stumbles into the path of moral driven honest man Lazerus (Samuel Jackson) who is content on helping her get rid of the addiction.

Story : Rae tries to seduce Lazerus many times , but as he refuses and helps her controll herself better her boyfriend is extreamly worried about her while she is missing from her house. Lazerus keeps her chained to his radiator and refuses to let her go untill she prooves herself. Though it is an original idea - there is some lack of character developement which is replaced by some stylistic scenes that don't actually do anything for the characters.

Visuals : There are some pretty good visuals - but nothing mind blowing : except for the sybliminal head impaled in the background that you only see for about 2 seconds - which really is a great film technique that is rarley used.

Sypnosis : Good acting and some good story elements keep this movie alive - but the lack of a bigger type of character development keeps it from being amazing.

Zodiac (2 viewings)



Plot : A killer who gives clues to the newspaper about his identity consumes a cartoonist life with his teases.

Story : Robert Graysmith is a cartoonist who likes to dip into police affairs when the zodiac killer starts advertising himself as a killer. He leaves small clues for people to follow him and Robert Graysmith is one of the few people that thinks they mean something . Though the movie focuses a ton on the actuall killer and has tons of facts , you start to see how the other characters are affected - with this movie's huge timescale of about 20+ years , it's truely a unique crime thriller. Although the ending will leave you frustrated everything leading up to it is great.



Visuals : David Fincher makes no lack of effort here - his style defintly shows : espicially with the huge city shots and the construction of the building .

Sypnosis : A great crime thriller - the best i've seen , though it has a weak ending and some lesser character parts : it's highly realistic and that gives it one of it's biggest boost as a film.

300 (2 viewings)



Plot : A new persion empire is rising and makes the small land of sparta submit to it's rule. But , the spartan king and 300 of his soilders defy the empire and begin an epic battle.

Story : A truely bare bones character story with huge exagerated events. This movie really is about how the spartans are a lot smarter and better at combat than the stupid persion's tying to kill them. Although the story is good enough to keep you watching : it's not the movies strong point by far.

Action and Visuals : CGI injected roller coaster thrill ride of an action film. This movie does feature some of the best visuals due to it's extreme use of CGI and the action scenes benefit from the CGi the most. They are beautifull to watch and lots of fun as well : obviously the main object in this film.

Sypnosis : Although lots of film "casuals" refer to it as one of the best movies ever , in reality it actually is a very good film : it's characters are carved from the beating they take and the damage they deal , but by the end you'll be glad you watched it and entertained.

The Hoax (1 viewing)



Plot : Clifford Irving (Richard Gere) hypes up and attempts to sell a fake biography of an amazingly famous man who speaks to no-one.

Story : Though there are some tense moments and the movie is mostly character driven , you barley see character development but instead how they would just normally act. Pretty realistic movie , it will keep you watching to the end - but you won't praise it's story much after your done watching it.

Visuals : A few great shots and nothing else. Although there seems to be a new visual standard for movies like this - it seems to stay with the standard.

Sypnosis : A cool film to watch once and have fun with it , but after that you'll be done with it.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force : Film for Theatres for DVD (5 viewings)



Plot : Meatwad , Master Shake , and frylock must uncover the mystery of a new enemey and also their own pasts.

Story : Although the movie tries to get into the story telling mode it's ultimatly all for laughs. The aqua teens fight another big monster that they basicly created and now it destroys downtown similar to the first episode. There is plot development but it's really not important to the film's focus.

Humor : Obviously for me this was hyped as one of the funniest movies ever , though it is really funny - I wouldn't say it's nearly as good as the show. It seems the movie was toned down from it's original version that you can view on the DVD to appeal to bigger audiences. Though there are some hillarious quotes like always and just dead funny scenes .

Visuals : I praise this show for it's animation. As an animator myself I can see all the merits that go into this film and the great visual design. Although some can complain that it's low budget - i love the style and how it looks like something I could do (aside from the 3D effects)

Sypnosis : Not the amazing film it could have been - it's still great weighing in as a pretty good episode of aqua teen , the DVD comes packed with the original version as well : though it's barley animated - if you've never seen aqua teen I suggest you start with this movie.

Knocked Up (4 viewings)



Plot : E! Entertainment interviewer get's drunk and gets pregnant with no job stoner Ben Stone .

Story : Though emotionally pulled together by it's characters like 40 Year Old Virgin it's realistic yet fake style of story telling is pulled off once again. The acting covers the story so well that it's defintly great to watch again and again. Ben Stone (Seth Rogen) and Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl) try to make their forced relationship work out , as their differences become bigger.

Humor : It's a different type of humor than 40 Year Old Virgin's outragous events : though it still has the same hillarious dialouge. I challenge you not to laugh out loud at least 8 times !

Visuals : The places the movie takes place come to life with realistic scale and are defintly not lacking : some scenes are really great to look at though and some are boring. The wide camera lens effect is obviously pretty dumb and the fact that they make a full screen version of the movie (which i actually have) is also another bad decision , but the movie's visuals were never the films draw so it's forgivable.

Sypnosis : This more realistic and mature comedy shows it's heart in a great way - making it better than good.

Evan Almighty (1 incomplete viewing)



Incomplete Viewing Notice : The teacher showing us the movie didn't even show the whole thing - turned it off right at the end : so if the movie is mircaulously good at the end sorry for this review.

Plot : Evan Baxter (Steve Carrel) is chosen by God (Morgan Freeman) to build an ark for an upcoming flood.

Story : Pretty horrible even as a commercially produced film without a heart. Evan Baxter has animals follow him around , he grows a beard , and he has to wear old robes and stuff for some reason : forced upon him by God. Then he builds a big ark with the help of his family and then they laugh at him because it's a stupid idea . Also , he is fired from his job for having animals with him in the room or something dumb like that.

Visuals : Some good use of CGI though the rest of the movie and it's cinemetography is laughable.

Sypnosis : If you liked Bruce Almighty don't get your hopes up for this computer generated down-right horrible film.

Transformers (1 viewing)



Plot : Robots come to earth to kill other robots.

Story : Pretty ridiculously weak story , though it starts out pretty good. The story is mostly about this 16-17 year old kid who gets a new car and how he likes some girl. Then a bunch of evil robots attack and he and the girl become friends and then it dosen't matter because the movie turns into an crappy-action fest and the characters are no longer important.

Action : So fast and way too many camera cuts to follow , defintly not good action at all. A huge waste of CGI and time.

Visuals : Another 2007 film to be stuffed with amazing CGI , although the robots look amazing and there are some huge scenes like with the kids house that look really good : aside from that the actuall camera shots are horrendous.

Sypnosis : Another highly acclaimed movie by people who barley watch movies , but this time - it's downright horrible.

The Simpsons Movie (1 viewing)



Plot : Homer throws a toxic barrel in springfields water supply and contaminates the whole city , so a gigantic dome is forced onto the city.

Story : Though a lot more put together than the recent Aqua Teen Movie , it's still pretty weak. The first half of the movie is just great with tons of laughs , but when you get to the last laughless half with a forced done a thousand times ending - it's clear the film loses it's edge.

Humor : You'll laugh a ton in the first half , but as i said : the second half you might laugh once or you'll laugh at how bad the story gets.

Visuals : It's the usual simpsons with a little bit of 3D , not a gigantic leap in animation from the show.

Sypnosis : It's been in the works for how many years and still turns into a generic waste in the end. Though it's first half is defintly great.

Rush Hour 3 (1 viewing)



Plot : Detective Carter (Chris Tucker) and Cheif Inspector Lee (Jackie Chan) go to Paris to solve another crime.

Story : If your a fan of the super cheesy stories of the first two you won't be disapointed here. Lots of pointless characters are introduced and some plot elements to pave the way for Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker to be hillarious .

Humor : The story is pretty much a show to set up the jokes which can be pretty hillarious : espicially with all the refrences to the past two installments. If you don't understand the films appeal though you may just see it as another pointless action film.

Visuals : Some cool action scenes and huge shots of the eiffel tower make this probably the best rush hour visually , but again it's defintly not that great.

Sypnosis : Fans of rush hour will love this one , it's cheesy-serious appeal is layed on thick - with one of the funniest endings of any movie.

Thanks Meatface

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha