Beware of these 10 types of film watchers

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Beware my list of nearly 2500 movies ranked from best to worst. It is soon to be the next terrifying Stephen King novel.



Capital idea! Give it a go.
Allaby's film watcher quiz. What type of film watcher are you? Answer these fun questions to find out!

1. When deciding to watch a film, you...
A. pick the film with the most nudity
B. pick the film with the most killing
C. pick something wholesome and inspiring
D. watch an old classic
E. just grab whatever

2. How do you feel about nudity in films?
A. love it and want it all the time
B. only like it if the naked people are stabbing each other
C. makes me uncomfortable
D. they did it better in the old days
E. I'm fine either way

3. How do you feel about horror films?
A. I enjoy the sexy ones
B. Love watching violence and blood
C. I prefer gentle, family films
D. horror films were better 60 years ago
E. I don't mind some of them

4. When going to the movies, you...
A. pick something hot and sleazy
B. pick a gruesome slasher
C. pick the latest animated kids movie
D. never go, because all new movies suck
E. watch whatever everyone else is seeing

5. Watching films makes you feel...
A. horny
B. bloodthirsty
C. uplifted
D. nostalgic
E. content

Your results:

If you answered mostly A, you are a perv who enjoys sleaze and trash, but we won't hold it against you (even if you ask us too)

If you answered mostly B, you are a horror buf who enjoys watching people die. We aren't judging, so please don't hurt us...

If you answered mostly C, you like wholesome and family films and are likely a small child or a big kid (if you are a small child, it is past your bedtime)

If you answered mostly D, you only like classic films from 50 plus years ago and judge those who watch anything after 1980.

If you answered mostly E, your tastes are varied and you are up for most anything.



Cool, thanks Allaby. I'll play.

1. When deciding to watch a film, you...
A. pick the film with the most nudity
B. pick the film with the most killing
C. pick something wholesome and inspiring
D. watch an old classic
E. just grab whatever

2. How do you feel about nudity in films?
A. love it and want it all the time
B. only like it if the naked people are stabbing each other
C. makes me uncomfortable
D. they did it better in the old days
E. I'm fine either way

3. How do you feel about horror films?
A. I enjoy the sexy ones
B. Love watching violence and blood
C. I prefer gentle, family films
D. horror films were better 60 years ago
E. I don't mind some of them

4. When going to the movies, you...
A. pick something hot and sleazy
B. pick a gruesome slasher
C. pick the latest animated kids movie
D. never go, because all new movies suck (they all don't suck just mostly)
E. watch whatever everyone else is seeing

5. Watching films makes you feel...
A. horny
B. bloodthirsty
C. uplifted
D. nostalgic (sorta of, sometimes)
E. content

Your results:
If you answered mostly A, you are a perv who enjoys sleaze and trash, but we won't hold it against you (even if you ask us too)

If you answered mostly B, you are a horror but who enjoys watching people die. We aren't judging, so please don't hurt us...

If you answered mostly C, you like wholesome and family films and are likely a small child or a big kid (if you are a small child, it is past your bedtime)

If you answered mostly D, you only like classic films from 50 plus years ago and judge those who watch anything after 1980.

If you answered mostly E, your tastes are varied and you are up for most anything.
My answers: were all D but I never judge people for watching new films But maybe I should start



The elitist: This person loves only about 20 arthouse directors and thinks everything else is total garbage. They have a very narrow and rigid taste in cinema, and they refuse to watch anything that doesn’t fit their criteria. They will criticize every movie they see as boring, shallow, or clichéd, and will praise only their favorite directors as visionary, profound, or original. They will also lecture you on how to watch movies properly and will make you feel stupid for liking anything they don’t.
AKA Mr Minio.
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I forgot the opening line.
#9 = My brothers.
What gets me is that they always ask questions about something in the film that was explained while they were talking - then the next question is about what happened while they were asking the last question... and on it goes in a snowballing, circular, domino fashion.
At the end they declare the film wasn't any good because it made no sense, didn't explain anything and had no plot!
That would drive me completely insane.
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Remember - everything has an ending except hope, and sausages - they have two.
We miss you Takoma

Latest Review : Le Circle Rouge (1970)



Sorry if I'm rude but I'm right
You forgot about me.
You're 11. The Dude With a Terrible Taste.
Is there a quiz somewhere we can take to know what type of film watcher we are?
I could create a short quiz that will find out whether you're a legit film buff or a subhuman but that's gonna cost you.
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Look, I'm not judging you - after all, I'm posting here myself, but maybe, just maybe, if you spent less time here and more time watching films, maybe, and I stress, maybe your taste would be of some value. Just a thought, ya know.



#12 - The faux-elitist (mainly me) - Goes to indie theaters on weekends, eats in nearby restaurants, discourses on whatever Film (note the capital F) is currently showing. Secretly likes a lot of other stuff too, but likes being seen in the special theater, after having some artisanal tacos and craft beer.

The next night I might see a superhero movie at the mall cineplex, but I will be incognito so as to not spoil my reputation.



Movie Forums Stage-Hand
The last point is the most important of all, I believe!



The Marvel maniac