My New Years resolution has always been no resolutions. I ain't failed once
__________________ "This is that human freedom, which all boast that they possess, and which consists solely in the fact, that men are conscious of their own desire, but are ignorant of the causes whereby that desire has been determined."-Baruch Spinoza
Depression runs in my family. Like hardcore depression. I don't like to talk about it because so many people don't understand the feeling or its pervasiveness. It started for me when I was about 6 or 7. A switch got flipped and ever since then I've found it difficult to feel joy and the little moments I have felt have always been fleeting.
I have so many dark thoughts about putting an end to it, and they come and go like the seasons. The swings between feeling "OK" and hopeless are not as extreme as they once were, but the periods of hopelessness last so much longer than they used to. I can't help but think its an effect of aging and the stresses that come with it.
I'm just not in a good place right now, and it feels like I won't ever be. I'm educated enough to know that my mind is lying to me and that I should be fortunate for all I have...but that's a high level thought that doesn't do anything for the pain.
For the longest time I thought I'd never live to see my 20s. Then the same with my 30s. These feelings are always worse around my birthday, and this year they have been extra difficult to handle and have stuck around longer than usual.
I'm tired of waking up and feeling drained and lifeless. I'm tired of having to talk my mind off a ledge day after day. I'm just so tired.
I know we've talked about this before, but don't do anything rash. Keep working on your house, making your music and pictures and hang at MoFo. We love you.
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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden My IMDb page
John McClane... I'd give you a big hug if I could, I really would and I'm not even a huggy type person. I don't know you all that well but I can tell that you make people happy here and have friends here who care about you. I hope that helps at least a little bit
Depression runs in my family. Like hardcore depression. I don't like to talk about it because so many people don't understand the feeling or its pervasiveness. It started for me when I was about 6 or 7. A switch got flipped and ever since then I've found it difficult to feel joy and the little moments I have felt have always been fleeting.
I have so many dark thoughts about putting an end to it, and they come and go like the seasons. The swings between feeling "OK" and hopeless are not as extreme as they once were, but the periods of hopelessness last so much longer than they used to. I can't help but think its an effect of aging and the stresses that come with it.
I'm just not in a good place right now, and it feels like I won't ever be. I'm educated enough to know that my mind is lying to me and that I should be fortunate for all I have...but that's a high level thought that doesn't do anything for the pain.
For the longest time I thought I'd never live to see my 20s. Then the same with my 30s. These feelings are always worse around my birthday, and this year they have been extra difficult to handle and have stuck around longer than usual.
I'm tired of waking up and feeling drained and lifeless. I'm tired of having to talk my mind off a ledge day after day. I'm just so tired.
Please, find a good therapist & go see him/her. Having someone to talk to will help you.
Don’t laugh, but a Twitter post resonated with me this week. It asked do you need money, do you need love, etc., etc. One of the questions was do you need help? This one got the most responses. I also said yes to this one.
Please, find a good therapist & go see him/her. Having someone to talk to will help you.
Don’t laugh, but a Twitter post resonated with me this week. It asked do you need money, do you need love, etc., etc. One of the questions was do you need help? This one got the most responses. I also said yes to this one.
I won't pry but if you want to talk about anything this is the thread to get help and or advice...or just even talk it out...we'll listen
I won't pry but if you want to talk about anything this is the thread to get help and or advice...or just even talk it out...we'll listen
If you’re talking to me, I find it very very hard to ask for help. Or even to discuss with anyone what I need help with. I tend to internalize everything.
I was just astonished in the Twitter thread how many people said they needed help.
If this "stomach bug" (or whatever it is) started yesterday when the weather suddenly got cold, I could see... I could see if I switched up my food, or anything else. The only change has been hiring international musicians to play on some unfinished (and finished) songs of mine, and there is that nervous stomach feeling, but that was weeks ago, unless it came back.
I have absolutely no energy... Drinking vernors and smoking pot is the only thing that helps even a little..
How fitting the last post on here was on my 40th birthday... I will try to watch a movie, but I say this every night. Just need to find something that interests me, and I don't wanna see a movie I've seen already.
If this "stomach bug" (or whatever it is) started yesterday when the weather suddenly got cold, I could see... I could see if I switched up my food, or anything else. The only change has been hiring international musicians to play on some unfinished (and finished) songs of mine, and there is that nervous stomach feeling, but that was weeks ago, unless it came back.
I have absolutely no energy... Drinking vernors and smoking pot is the only thing that helps even a little..
How fitting the last post on here was on my 40th birthday... I will try to watch a movie, but I say this every night. Just need to find something that interests me, and I don't wanna see a movie I've seen already.
I feel better today (for the first time).. Vernors is a ginger ale drink we used to sip (usually warm) when we were sick. Something mild before I drink my Dr. Pepper