What are some things you do when you feel horrible (that help)?

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Therapists will work for most people, pills will also work with most people. On others will make things much worse. Most people will find all the solutions they need in other people, a new relationship, a new friendship, a therapist to tell them what to do. There are others their solution doesn't reside in other people, those are harder to please. Others might even just need more activity and less time to think, to others those activities won't stop the thinking. For some people meditation works, but to me is switching one bad for another not so bad. All that mediation does is making a routine in the mind for thirty minutes, something to fixate the mind on, it's okay if you don't over do it. You'll experience a quietude and think that's all good, like the people that smoke marijuana for a long time frequently, but all it's doing is making the mind dull and mechanical, marijuana is even worse. The mind has a lot of activity, is very active, there are all sorts of techniques to quiet it down, one of the bests that I recommend is attention, and you're normally attentive when you're doing something that you like, that's focus. Some people don't have anything they like to do, maybe they need to start looking at things. You have any nature near you? Sit in a park bench and watch the trees, the birds, the incense of the flowers... there's so much beauty people don't and most can't watch.



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Therapists will work for most people, pills will also work with most people.

I actually have found psychiatry to be less than useful in terms of my total experience, therapists can be great but at this point in my life they're just not worth the money anymore. Also, during the pandemic they're a lot less personable (part of what makes better than a chat bot), so even though they are all booked up, the quality of service is much worse.


Overall, psychiatrists have a very willy-nilly pharmaceutical friendly attitude towards the drugs they prescribe. I've had better experiences with a general practitioner. Here is part of the reason i don't recommend psychiatrists:





I do not like therapist, or psychiatrist or whatever people want to call them. But I'm aware enough not to say it out loud, because there's people out there that needed them and need them. I think they are a superficial solution, and I believe most people nowadays have superficial problems, I'm sorry to say that, but that's what I think.

I recommend pills even less, but, again, they did work for some people, but they're selling a problem and buying another, in some cases a less serious problem, so, that makes it okay. I can't make a choice like this for somebody else, I can advice if advice is asked. For me a walk in the park and awareness about what's around and inside you is the best therapy there is, some people can't do that or don't find that to be true, they need interaction and someone to listen to them, that's when therapists and psychiatrist come handy.

We live in a society constantly looking for self improvement, either physically, psychologically or morally, and I believe that's one of the reasons of so much emotional and mental problems we are now seeing. Then comes all sorts of helpers, the gurus, intellectuals, inspirational speakers, experts of all kinds that seem to help those people in their quest. I've never had any interest in such quest or such people, but, again, they have helped a lot of people, and, again, have made everything worse for a lot of people as well.

Self, personal inquire is one of the hardest tasks a human being can ever do, because it doesn't end easily, once you close the door and found it, you didn't, and this inquire is the only road to the end of contradiction, and that is the end of all conflict. Some people find that pursuing a carrear, a moral path, a certain goal, their reason to live, and I envy those people because it makes everything centered and easy. If you can be one of those people, that found something they truly want, they are very passionate about, loose yourself in it. If you aren't, well, it's hard.



matt72582's Avatar
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I actually typed up a really long post before deleting it... The things I do (or did in the past) helped me, but it is probably not sustainable, which is fine by me, because I think every day is my last. In short, hedonistic behavior as a way to cope and to get through the day. Or, just staying home and staying away from people to avoid conflict, which is something that has been punctuated into me as a result of COVID, although I had been going in this direction in the last few years.

Here's something that happened hours ago. I was asked if I would be interested in playing a gig at my state's largest venue. I didn't ask any questions (despite having many), so I waited a few hours, and just said, "I'll pass, but thanks for thinking about me", because I don't think it would be good for me. I don't need more stress. I'm still thinking about it, so I know I made the right decision.

Turn off your phone, or at least have every phone call to go on auto voice-mail, so you can evaluate the voice mail and/or text to avoid.... stress.


I just saw the reply before me, and would agree to avoid psych--- and doctors in general. My philosophy now is "You're all alone, solve it by yourself and never depend on anyone else".



I made a post not that long about about hedonism in the Roman culture, it's not a solution, but it's a hard thing to avoid if the right circumstances are meet. Avoiding pleasures can as bad, maybe actually worse than pursuing them to the fullest. If you watch the monks, the Catholics, or the Buddhists, or the Zen, or the Sannyasis in India, all of them suppress the senses, they walk looking downwards, the eyesight always looks for what you desire, so they desire not to desire, that is desire. Suppressing something is not good.

I was watching the film Buena Vista Social Cub Adios the other day, there's one scene with one of my favorite singers of all time, Compay Segundo, and he was telling people in the Havana's street, the secret for his longevity. He said the secret is not to exaggerate in anything, not overindulge. He said, when he's eating chicken, he eats just a little bit, so he doesn't get bored with chicken. Then, tomorrow, he'll still have the desire to eat that chicken. The second secret, in love, romance: he uses the same strategy as in the chicken.

About being alone. That's the twenty first century disease. I'm never alone, although I'd like very much to be. I don't want a relationship of any kind and I'd not get one if I wanted anyhow. I like people and I'm good around people, I'm pleasing and all that, but I can't be around them for long. I obviously don't share opinions or they would be mad, so when they talk and share their views I shut the hell up. I guess that's me not pushing people away, because we're a specie that likes to be around our specie. I've always enjoyed nature far more than people, but, I'm also very interested about people. If I extract anything good from the movie Into The Wild is this quotation from Lord Byron: 'There is pleasure in the pathless woods, there is rapture in the lonely shore, there is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar; I love not Man the less, but Nature more.'

Here's something that happened hours ago. I was asked if I would be interested in playing a gig at my state's largest venue. I didn't ask any questions (despite having many), so I waited a few hours, and just said, "I'll pass, but thanks for thinking about me", because I don't think it would be good for me. I don't need more stress. I'm still thinking about it, so I know I made the right decision.
Anyone reading this would have probably told you: You're clinging to your comfort zone. Anyone around my age today will tell you you're the experiences you collect. I don't agree with it, but that's okay. I really don't know, really don't, I don't want experiences, I've never planned anything, if something feels good in that moment I do it, if something doesn't feel good I don't do it. I can't say how many things I've ever did were planned. If there is anything you can do is try to understand the emotions and thoughts you were having during that call and afterwards what made you reject the offer. It takes effort and sincerity. Or you can just not think about it, that's okay too.



For some people meditation works, but to me is switching one bad for another not so bad. All that mediation does is making a routine in the mind for thirty minutes, something to fixate the mind on, it's okay if you don't over do it. You'll experience a quietude and think that's all good, like the people that smoke marijuana for a long time frequently, but all it's doing is making the mind dull and mechanical, marijuana is even worse. T
I agree with most of your post, but I do question this part about meditation.

Granted, it's not an exact science and can be somewhat different for everyone depending on how it is practiced, but it's hardly comparable to marijuana use (in most respects).

I've never found meditation to make the mind dull or mechanical. Although one thing it could have in common with marijuana is that it may be habit forming and you may prefer meditation to doing anything else since meditation is usually comfortable while life is often not.

If done right, meditation can be a health practice for the mind, body and soul that is as productive and revitalizing as exercise and a good diet.



Yes, I was hoping no one practiced meditation here because what I was saying goes against studies and popular opinion. And yes again, marijuana and meditation are not the same thing, not the same effect either. Maybe some people practice/consume them for the same reason, but they are not the same thing and don't have the same effects. Marijuana and meditation are both good if not over done, if you over do them they'll have negative effects, like everything else I guess, the part of meditation I'll try to explain further, it's something that science is slowly proving.

So, mediation.The first question someone who's starting to meditate should make is why they're meditating. People start by saying they want something that stops constant thinking. Later they say they want something that is beyond mere daily existence. The whole base of meditation is concentration, on a word, like the famous Transcendental Meditation with people like David Lynch supporting it, a meditation that had studies saying it's actually not so good long term, or concentration on a symbol, basically is fixating the mind onto something so the mind doesn't constantly think-think-think, but think-think-think is what the mind does, naturally.

The objective of the person meditating is to stimulate the brain, extending consciousness, and trough that he hopes to arrive at a different state or a different dimension, reach a point which the conscious mind cannot, and that's a goal and therefore future. You can see this in the David Lynch movie about it, that's the goal. So, they repeats a word, in sanskrit because is more romantic, in the case of Transcendental Mediation they charge $1500 or more for that word. The repetition of that word makes the mind calm and quiet, the mind is no longer thinking and thinking and thinking, it becomes calm, and that is obviously a trick, if you repeat, repeat, repeat the mind gets dull, the person meditating confuses that for calmness. Is like someone working in a production factory doing the same thing over and over, he reaches a sleepiness level that he's not conscious of doing what he's doing, that's what meditation does to the mind.

All the meditative methods, either the Zen, or Indian, whatever, are a discipline, some are subtle, some are not. The more a person practices a discipline the more the mind becomes dull and mechanized, a mechanizing routine, process, and that's not quietness, at least not the energy/understanding quietness one should have. This is obviously my opinion, there are some scientific studies being done and some reached these or similar conclusions. There has been studies saying those who practice mediation for long periods become less in touch with their feelings and what's around them. If you read the ancient Chinese Ch'an masters, like the 'cutting the cat in two' you might think that as well.

Above all, don't take it personally, is just a guy with an opinion.



Therapists will work for most people, pills will also work with most people. On others will make things much worse. Most people will find all the solutions they need in other people, a new relationship, a new friendship, a therapist to tell them what to do. There are others their solution doesn't reside in other people, those are harder to please. Others might even just need more activity and less time to think, to others those activities won't stop the thinking. For some people meditation works, but to me is switching one bad for another not so bad. All that mediation does is making a routine in the mind for thirty minutes, something to fixate the mind on, it's okay if you don't over do it. You'll experience a quietude and think that's all good, like the people that smoke marijuana for a long time frequently, but all it's doing is making the mind dull and mechanical, marijuana is even worse. The mind has a lot of activity, is very active, there are all sorts of techniques to quiet it down, one of the bests that I recommend is attention, and you're normally attentive when you're doing something that you like, that's focus. Some people don't have anything they like to do, maybe they need to start looking at things. You have any nature near you? Sit in a park bench and watch the trees, the birds, the incense of the flowers... there's so much beauty people don't and most can't watch.
cats and dogs will work aswell cause they can sense u when ur down and upset. my cats always cheer me up when im down and they saved my life 3 times from suicide



cats and dogs will work aswell cause they can sense u when ur down and upset. my cats always cheer me up when im down and they saved my life 3 times from suicide
Yes, any kind of pet can be very therapeutic.
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I’m here only on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays. That’s why I’m here now.



That elusive hide-and-seek cow is at it again

Iderno. Sloths are pretty stressful. Just DO SOMETHING already. Nope. I ain't got time for that. No. Patience.



Ghouls, vampires, werewolves... let's party.
cats and dogs will work aswell cause they can sense u when ur down and upset. my cats always cheer me up when im down and they saved my life 3 times from suicide
I'm a cat person myself. They're pretty much self-sufficient and make great pets.



That elusive hide-and-seek cow is at it again
As a serious reply, music is my default first response. I learned back in 2015 that looping through Bowie's Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, HBS' In Deep Owl, and White Stripes' Get Behind Me Satan did a lot to counter ....stuff. Not the heavy stuff, but those albums helped me focus, which is a problem for me that usually leads to some kind of tailspin. Music has helped me.


Past that, I've found basic exercise releases endorphins. Even if it's just walking some distance. I admit my anxieties were better managed when I exercised more aggressively years back.


Driving helps me as well to think and organize my thoughts. For me, I'd need to be on the road 2+ hours for the meditation of it all to kick in. Else, local idiots really set me off.


Therapy has helped but it has also been a craps shoot. I was able to briefly meet with a therapist back in 2015 that empathized enough to help me reflect on my anxiety triggers and to recognize the patterns of my tailspins. That really helped as I could then see the early stages coming before becoming overwhelmed. Sometimes I can use that to redirect that coming energy. Other times, not so much.


Creating something helps channel negative energy for me too. I'll grab my acoustic guitar or start typing repressed thoughts in an email I never send. Both act as vents.


For me, it's an unknown combination work in progress that I'm still trying to cipher.

Oh. I have a vitamin D deficiency. Taking supplements actually provides me a noticeable improvement when I take it consistently. I was surprised by how noticeable it was when I stopped for a few weeks.

Nothing was a hard fix. Each bit I described is just a bit more to compensate whatever. With a handful all in play, I find I manage better than without. Without, it's a struggle. To say the least.



Another suggestion that may not apply to most, but if possible... get around children and babies.

It's similar to pets and animals.

Last week a sick neighbor's kids & grandchildren were visiting. I had to drop something off at their house. When I went in there was a little one-year-old boy tugging at my pant leg, trying to stand up (he still couldn't walk). I was a bit forward in that I said, "Want to come up?" as I reached down and hoisted him up - without asking permission from his mom first who was sitting there - she didn't seem to have a problem with it (she was probably happy to get a break & have someone else occupy him for a few minutes since, when on his own, he was a high-speed crawling machine).

The baby had no apparent trepidation or anxiety, he just stared at me in wonder. Then of course he went for my glasses - babies always want my glasses. I dodged his grabs for my spectacles and held him for quite a while as he baby-talked to me (the ladies were laughing because his babel sounded so earnest as if he were explaining something very important to me, and I obliged with things like "Oh really? I see! You don't say! etc.").

Anyway, the whole rest of the day I felt uplifted, energized and somehow I got from that baby I'd never met before that I needed to clean my slate to be blank just as his was - he was living only in the moment with no preconceptions or worries about the future, taking each new experience bravely with a sense of awe, adventure and wonder.



What @ynwtf said about music is also something I enjoy, specially the blues to me, depends on the person, some prefer the classics, and that's alright with me as long as they are French or Italian. Car trips are also nice, but they're not so good for my back. Something I intend to start doing in the near, maybe distant future is solo camping, I think I might enjoy it. I did went one time to a therapist because I was obligated to go to. I was finishing school and I couldn't care less about it, my parents wanted me to stay another year and finish what I started. The school's director said as long as I attended sessions with a therapist, I guess teachers talked. I don't really understand why my parents didn't say I had the right to stay another year if I wanted to, but the thing is that I didn't wanted to stay another year and I made that clear to them, and everyone else since the start. I was curious about what kind of things people talked on therapies, some of my close friends were in therapy, I couldn't understand why would they needed it, but I didn't asked them either, so I went out of curiosity, be the center of attention for once. After the first two sessions I wasn't sure who was giving therapy to who. I was very... well, if anyone did what I did to other people I'd kick that prick. I started to be a smart ass and ask questions like: 'What made you want to be a therapist? Was it so you could better understand yourself by pretending to be an expert in helping others?' It started to be argumentative and she talked with the school director, I don't know what she told her but she convinced my parents I wasn't doing anything in school and they let me do what I wanted, get a job and leave that nest. I never accepted authority, if you wanted to teach me, you had to prove you actually knew what the hell you're talking about, and that's the problem, they didn't had to prove, I had to listen, and do their tests and depend on their assessments, and I couldn't, and I can't. I'm a little like @matt72582 it seems, I don't depend on anyone else to tell me what's right and wrong, what to do and not do, I don't look for answers in other people, I know they ain't got a thing, they just pretend they do, if a lot of people believe might make it true. I'm not one of those persons that believe I live in hell while everyone else is happy, like many depressed people seem to think, at least is what I see on reddit. I think people either live in hell and don't show it, or live in a roller coaster, moments of happiness and other's of struggle, that's life, nothing lasts or stays the same. How each people deal with the struggle is what set us apart.