Godzilla vs Kong

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Transcript of my YouTube review for this movie.

Godzilla vs Kong. Directed by Adam Wingard, starring Mille Bobby Brown, Rebecca Hall and Alexander Skarsgard.

The running time of this movie is 1hr 57 minutes. This review will be spoiler free.

If you are thinking about going to see this movie, then don’t. This movie is not for you.

It is not for you because you are thinking, and this movie is for people who don’t or can’t think.

Maybe you say, that’s ok, I just want to switch my mind off for 2 hours and watch some big CGI creatures hit each other in the face.

If that is you, then still, do not watch this movie.

In the UK this film has a rating of 12A. Meaning you have to be 12 years old or older to see this movie without an accompanying adult. This film is probably entertaining for 10 year olds, so I feel bad for those adults who have to go with them.

IMDB list there as being 3 story writers and 2 screenplay writers. This is a lie. This movie was written by an artificial non-intelligent computer program after it was compelled to watch and analyze 90’s action films and all of Michael Bays attempts at making movies.

(That is unfair, I quite enjoyed The Rock, Armageddon and the first Transformers movie)

The human characters in this film are paper-thin cookie cutter stereotypes. You will not feel any emotional attachment to them or care about anything that they do. I take that back. You will only care because they are so pointless and annoying.

The supposed plot of this film is that Godzilla is attacking human areas, though only actually very specific facilities owned by one particular company.

For reasons of wanting to get some power from hollow earth, scientists monitoring Kong are persuaded to take him on a journey to hollow earth. But with Kong on the move, Godzilla will find him and there can only be one King of the Titans, and there we have our versus movie.

Rebecca Hall plays Ilene Andrews, generic female scientist monitoring Kong and for some reason looking after a deaf child you’ve seen in the trailers. She doesn’t really do anything other than provide a pretty face.

Alexander Skarsgard plays Nathan Lind, generic male scientist who wrote a book about hollow earth. He doesn’t really do anything in this movie.

Millie Bobby Brown plays Madison Russell, daughter of generic government guy.

She and her incredibly dumb friend Josh Valentine (played by Julian Dennison) go on a mission to find Bernie Hayes (played by Brian Tyree Henry) who is a conspiracy theorist of sorts, pod cast host and also the comic relief for this movie. Together these three try to defend Godzilla for being portrayed as a threat and uncover what is really going on. For some reason (probably to appeal to the 10 year olds) these three are able to effortlessly break into secret private facilities, yes, the same ones that Godzilla was attacking.

These three characters are the worst in this movie.

The two guys are so dumb that it is a wonder how they manage to breathe.

Millie Bobby Brown is a great actress but wasted in this movie, she also has so much makeup plastered on her face it is odd and troubling as to what they are trying to do with her.

I really don’t like or agree with all of the identity politics that are going around today. However I have to point out that Brian Tyree Henry is the only prominent black character in this movie and he is given the part of super dumb, fat, comic relief sidekick who isn’t funny. Think Finn in the Star Wars sequels, but fatter. Honestly it is pretty offensive, but I guess everyone needs a pay check.

Lance Reddick, most recognizably from the John Wick series, make an incredibly brief appearance. I think just for one line of dialogue. Completely wasted.

Kyle Chandler plays Millie’s dad, Mark Russel. He doesn’t do anything in this movie.

Eliza Gonzalez plays Maia Simmons, the daughter of evil corporation dude.

She is sent along by her evil dad to keep an eye on the scientists as they venture into hollow earth. Her character is incredibly cliché and unbelievable, as are all of the human characters really.

None of the characters are likeable, aspirational, believable or relatable.

The film tries to get some emotional connection to you with the deaf girl and a sob story about conspiracy theory podcaster’s dead wife, but it doesn’t work as you just won’t care enough about any of these characters.

In fact because of tone set by the utterly dreadful trio of super sleuth characters you won’t care about anything in this film. Their scenes are boring, pointless and bordering on offensive in just how dumb the characters are and how dumb they think the audience must be. When there are moments of action between Godzilla and Kong, all dramatic tension is gone because you’ll just come from a stupid comedy scene, so the whole tone of the movie is off.

There are some scenes where movie goes to the viewpoint of the deaf girl and tries to juxtapose the calmness of quiet against the chaos that is going on around her, but that doesn’t work or make any sense. If you are on a ship in the middle of a monster fight then it isn’t going to feel calm just because you can’t hear, the vibrations, wind and explosions etc will still feel chaotic.

The only characters that you might feel some connection to in the film are Kong and Godzilla. Given that their only lines of dialogue are animal screams, this is actually quite impressive and credit should be given to the animators.

You want to watch this movie for the monster fights, and they are pretty much what you would expect.

The problem is that they only account for about 20 minutes of this nearly two hour movie. The rest is filled with the paper thin and pointless human characters. I can’t stress enough just how pointless all of them are.

If I was any of them I would be embarrassed to be associated with this movie. Because so much of this movie is boring nonsense, my score for Godzilla vs Kong is, Regretful, time for a nap.



I am surprised that in 2021 we are still discussing this.



Registered User
Yeah, the movie is pretty bad for the reasons you mention. Still, it's two monsters fighting each other (then another), and if you come into the movie hoping for something other than that, you'll be disappointed.



It's Kong, it's Godzilla, and they kick each others asses. That's why people watch these types of movies. Plot? Umm... the people? umm... Yeah okay, the writer(s) phoned this one in. The actors weren't necessary, but I imagine the CGI for a movie of this type doesn't come cheap.



I went in thinking that this would be a movie about Kong and Godzilla fighting, and I wasn't let down.



The fight scenes were pretty good, which I think is what everyone tuned in for.

The actual storyline was pretty lame. I dislike how Hollywood tries to make the interaction between the characters over dramatic and emotional, etc.

At the end of the day it’s about a giant gorilla fighting a giant reptile and Hollywood tries to make it too serious instead of making it a more fun type of movie (which it should be).