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"According to statistics, one person out of five is disturbed. If there are four people around you who seem normal, that's not good."
"I am fascinated by air. If you remove the air from the sky, all the birds would fall to the ground. And all the planes, too."
"A cookie has no soul, it's just a cookie. But before it was milk and eggs. And in eggs there's the potential for life."
"If you phone a psychic and she doesn't answer the phone before it rings, hang up."
"Air is beautiful, yet you cannot see it. It's soft, yet you cannot touch it. Air is a little like my brain."
"My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she's good with the housework."
"If you work with a jackhammer during an earthquake, stop, otherwise you are working for nothing."
"When I walk across my living room from my chimney to my window, it takes me 10 seconds, but for a bird it takes one second, and for oxygen zero seconds!"
"Obviously I've taken drugs."
Jean-Claude Van Damme, ladies and gentlemen.
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