How do we be good people?

I make my last statement with a certain smugness of self-satisfaction because on some level it makes me feel like I'm better than the rest of you (when in reality a person's worth is hardly determined by whether they use an ignore setting on a social media discussion board)!

Zotis...you might want to read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius....it can't change your way of thinking overnight but they may help you to understand how we are truly responsible for our thoughts and actions.

Why do I always feel compelled to tell the absolute truth - it makes me appear so inferior.
(Now I'm just "fishing for compliments" to boost my self esteem.)

...Damn! Did it again! But feel that making it a parenthetical sub-statement will somehow lessen the blow!

Can I use my Stoic quotes?

No...my quotes can be useful to the person in need....Im in need of nuffin'

Yeah, when you make accusations against other people, you kind of do have to prove it. That's not my way, that's more like society's way.

I find it absolutely hilarious that you're preaching to me about a lack of self-awareness.

I won't acknowledge having "wronged" you, because I genuinely don't know what you're talking about. So help me out by providing me with evidence to support your claim instead of just assuming that I won't accept your argument.

Here, I'll help you out. Here is a summary of the negative interactions that have occurred between us, as I recall them. I've provided links as well. If I've forgotten something, like another incident, fill me in.

1. In my movie log, you misunderstood something I said about There Will Be Blood. You then insinuated that I am incapable of recognizing "quality" in movies that I hate. I explained that I can admire certain aspects of any film, but quality as it relates to art is subjective. This then set you off on a tirade where you said "It honestly feels like you're not even speaking English. I can't understand. Quality is by definition objective. If it isn't measurable, then it isn't quality." Since I don't appreciate being talked to like I'm stupid, I responded by telling you to take your condescension elsewhere.

2. Later, and without any provocation, you came into my thread again and said that I am a plebian with horrible taste and no appreciation for art. I did not respond to your posts - though after seeing your "TarkovskyBegmanGodard" hashtag, I was tempted to point out that I am, in fact, an admirer of Bergman (since you think your appreciation of him and other such directors makes you superior).

3. You created a thread called Content Doesn't Matter. In your opening post, you said "I know that quality is subjective" and I called you out on it. This re-ignited the argument from incident #1, during which you accused me of being "dishonest" and provided nothing to support that accusation.

4. In the Is Movie Forums DYING? thread, you said (to Iro) "Maybe you'll actually be a decent person some day... maybe you will come to your senses and start being a half decent person as unlikely as that may be." That's a really crappy thing to say to somebody and I told you as much. You then lashed out at me for not "minding my own business" despite the fact that I was responding to a public post, as is my right to do and I told you as much. You then supposedly put me on ignore.

5. Pretty much immediately afterwards, you created this thread and put my name in a mention, thus resulting in me getting a notification. You apologized for past transgressions, but then transgressed again by calling me a liar - again with nothing to support that accusation. This resulted in our current argument.

So tell me when and where in all of that did I wrong you or lie to you.

What I'm getting from this is that you made an assumption about me and because some things I've said or done don't quite fit with your assumption, I'm somehow being dishonest. I do not believe nor can I recall ever saying that there is no absolute truth. I said quality as it relates to art is subjective.


You calling me a liar is wrong because you haven't bothered to support that claim, even when asked repeatedly to do so. The reasons for me calling you a liar are so self-evident that even you recognize the source of the accusation:

__________________

“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”

I'm just doing what I've asked him to do.

Not really. I recall the first incident very easily because "it's like you're not even speaking English" has become an inside joke between myself and another MoFo. As to other past incidents, my being able to quote them is a result of me trying to find my alleged wrong doing.

Welcome to reality.

You know, I've always liked you SC even though I've never felt close to you. And you are a bit strange to me, but also very interesting. I kind of think of you as a mascot for this forum. I love how you make fun creative threads and get things going.

I firmly do believe that we are responsible. When I see a hot chick on the streets sporting it all on display, I take full responsibility for my thoughts, and I think I succeed when I divert my eyes and keep my thoughts as pure as if she was my own sister. When I fail to do so, when I let myself look and lust, I consider that a failure. Well that's just an example, but yes I do consider every thought, word, and deed my moral responsibility. And I believe that when I die I will stand before God and have to give account for every single thing I've ever done in my whole entire life.

Honesty

I don't have to prove anything. Society means less than nothing to me.

Hmm... I'm not sure what to make of this, but yeah when I see that most people are heading towards hell I do want to warn them and help them. Like even the way so many people eat cancerous foods and act so niave about the horrible painful death their going to face.

That's a pathetic response to my post.

This is the sort of thing that someone who can't prove their accusations says, because the accusations were fabricated in the first place. Can't say I'm surprised, though.

I listen to a lot of Tony Robbins lol.

"Good" is subjective but you definitely are responsible for your own suffering, which is based off your definition of good. Could be an influence of society, or just how you define things. Just figure out what positive means to you and how it affects you, and everything around you...stay true to that in the most unselfish way possible.

“If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.”

“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”

Oh well. I'm just done arguing with you. Take it or leave it. I'm going to move on with my life and keep trying to learn and grow and become a better person. You can do whatever you want. That's freedom.

Zoltis I’ve had a few interactions with you and safe to say you have a lot to work on but I want to see you improve. Now I recommend buying my book, it’s a pyramid scheme, very effective but doesn’t come cheap, private message me for details. Also miss Vicky is a swell gal - you’ll understand one day that she has helped you in your journey....the journey to complete the steps of my pyramid scheme of success!

I think it's a bit more than an exaggeration. They're simply saying your behavior is your responsibility. It might be hard, but who else is going to do it? And how much of it is inevitably hard, and how much is hard because bad habits have been indulged over years, or even decades? It may feel almost impossible now, but maybe that's because it's been allowed to ossify into habit via a thousand little choices about whether to look internally or externally. Most seemingly insurmountable problems start off easy off, and grow through our own fear of confronting them.

As always, The Simpsons has an especially funny and perceptive take that I think about a lot:



I'm sorry to hear all that, but absent getting explicit instructions from God, your next best option is to listen to the people around you, the ones who've interacted with you for years, and see what they say. Nobody can check themselves and improve without the corrections of others. It's how we navigate the world literally, and emotionally. We are all each other's ballast. If you don't avail yourself of that, you're going to drift.

You say your goal was to apologize and that's all...but obviously you said all sorts of things other than your apology, and those (not your apology) are what you're being asked to "defend." Try actually just apologizing and see if you don't get a different response. I bet you would.

The beauty of forgiving people is that you do it without thinking about whether they deserve it. If you're auditing their response, I'm not sure that's really forgiveness. I'm also not sure it's forgiveness if you make a show about doing it, so you can seem magnanimous. It's easy for us to say "I forgive you" in a way that aggrandizes our generosity and belittles the person we're forgiving. Even forgiving someone has to be done with care and tact.

You could apply this same "God will judge us" logic before deciding whether or not to publicly accuse someone of being a liar, too. Or, you could accept that people can and will express opinions about each other here on earth (as you have), and not dismiss critiques simply because a fuller accounting is coming in some other life.

That's how I forgive.

Doing good is doing what is hardest.