I can't rap

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Can't touch this...this reputation button

If anyone's wondering why there are no reps from me, it's bc I can't touch the rep thing, it doesn't work due to some technical problems. But I'll move to the coastline here in Croatia where my dad has a desktop, and It might work.

Just wanted to clarify.

Beatle



Sorry if I'm rude but I'm right
Nobody can rap without practice. You might want to start practising with that not-so-new-but-still-hot hip hop single by Phoenix and Miss Vicky.

Joaquin Phoenix feat @Miss Vicky - Master Her

Intro: (spoken in weirdly reverberating voice)

Earthlings, I am love. I am life. I am Mister J.P.
I've been giving you Signs, but you did not listen.
Now I have to descend the Earth and become a rap god
in order for you to Return to Paradise.
Await Ladder 49! Ladder 49 is the answer!

Verse 1: (Joaquin)

I am Joaquin Phoenix, bitch, the emperor of rhyme
If you need some ass-kickin', well, it is about time!
Russkies can't compete with me, I'm the original gangsta
I'm an actor, celebrity and a bitchin' songsta!
My birthname is Bottom, you know what it means
Bend over, baby, and take off these jeans!

Hook: (Joaquin & Miss Vicky)
We're Joaquin Phoenix and Miss Vicky, We own the night
Two Lovers gettin' hot, blowin' like dynamite!
So say: Master Her, Master that ass!
You're okay, bitch, I give you a pass!

Verse 2: (Joaquin)

Give it to me, baby, I know you wanna have fun
Imma pop caps in your ass from my 8MM gun!
I can have any girl, but not a fan like you,
so I'm gonna push it hard all the way through
When I point my thumb down, you know what to do
Say 'Joaquin' and get ready for a hullabaloo!

Hook: (Joaquin & Miss Vicky)
We're Joaquin Phoenix and Miss Vicky, We own the night
Two Lovers gettin' hot, blowin' like dynamite!
So say: Master Her, Master that ass!
You're okay, bitch, I give you a pass!

Verse 3: (Miss Vicky)

Miss Vicky here, yo, The Resident Bitch
Look at my swag, how I brag, it's rich like an ostrich
Please, Joaquin, babe, please, take me your hostag'
When I see you I twerk my ass, just look at that bitch-twitch!
There is no Reservation Road to my scanty heart
As long as it is a movie, in which you had a part!
So come kiss me baby, but, please, don't be mean,
I just turned down a guy, cuz his name was not Joaquin!
You're so steamy hot, in Quills you were To Die For
I'm swoonin', cuz for you I could become a... wild boar!
Ah, it's too much, I can't take it anymore!
Just take me to your SpaceCamp and go Gladiator on me - hardcore!
*moans of pleasure*
Just remember baby, It's All About Love!

Hook: (Joaquin & Miss Vicky)
We're Joaquin Phoenix and Miss Vicky, We own the night
Two Lovers gettin' hot, blowin' like dynamite!
So say: Master Her, Master that ass!
You're okay, bitch, I give you a pass!

Verse 4: (Joaquin)

When I hear your words of love, I laugh out loud
You wanna marry me, bitch please, you aren't allowed
I'm the baddest motherf*cker in this town
I mean Village, whatevs, POW POW POW
I spit out onomatopoeias, I'm Inventing the Abbotts
I joined Buffalo Soldiers, I have kinky maggots.
So just shut up, bitch, and bring me a beer
And let me tell you that I'm Still Here!

Outro:

(repeated) What the hell are Clay Pigeons?
__________________
Look, I'm not judging you - after all, I'm posting here myself, but maybe, just maybe, if you spent less time here and more time watching films, maybe, and I stress, maybe your taste would be of some value. Just a thought, ya know.