Guilty Or Not Guilty

I hope not!! 😨


Bites nails?

Not guilty.


You blow your nose noisily.

Not guilty.


Fart in public?

__________________
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die."

Not guilty.


You lied then you lost control of it all?

Not guilty.

Wonders what happened to just enjoying a movie rather than going in with the sole intent of poking holes in it?

Not guilty, i just watch to enjoy

When watching a movie in bed you never get to see the end with falling asleep?

Not guilty. I never watch a movie in bed. I watch the news instead.


You've already eaten dog or cat meat (in Asia or elsewhere)?

Not guilty. Ugh.

Ever had food poisoning?

__________________
I’m here only on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays. That’s why I’m here now.

Guilty.


Thanked a cop for a speeding ticket?

Not guilty, i have no speeding tickets

Thanked a cop for telling you one of your tyres needs replacing after a spot check?

Not guilty, I can't drive

gone upstairs and forgot what you gone upstairs for

I have no upstairs cos i'm on the first floor but I've done that at work, so guilty.

Crosses the street when there's a nosey neighbour approaching?

Not guilty.


Been the annoying person people cross the street to avoid?

Not guilty.


It happened you told your teacher he/she was wrong and you were right?

Guilty, if i thought i was right i would say so, also refused to do a detention when the school hadn't informed my parents i'd be home late.

Washes one plate when you need it?

Not guilty

Does not have a dishwasher?

Not guilty.


Buy new underwear when you're too lazy to do laundry?

Not guilty.

Does not wash hair every day?

Not guilty -- can't stand going without!


Doesn't shave every day?

Doesn't shave what??? 😳

Likes to lie in on a day off?