I Will Never Go Back To The Cinema

There's no movie in the cinema right now that was worth doing all that for. Walking out was the correct thing to do.

It was 100% worth it. i stood up for every single person in that cinema and I am a warrior.

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Movies? Do we need 'em? NO!

I don't know. I've never visited there.

I used to visit the place out of curiosity. You stumble across something interesting maybe 1 out of every 20 sites but the place gets old quick.

Welcome aboard! Yes, it's the main reason why I don't go to theaters anymore, either. With the invention of smartphones, people have just gotten absurd with interrupting a movie, or worse, a play/live performance. It really bites.

This, and the fact that I can replicate the theater experience in my living room with my own 5.1 surround sound system. and 55" TV. And even with paying for Blu-Ray discs, if you add back in the fuel costs and concessions, it's almost as competitive as a theater ticket price.

Secondarily, I am still a little concerned in re: safety/security. I don't go to crowded places like that if I don't have to. I won't let it stop me if it's something I really want to go to, but if I don't have to...

Whenever I encounter someone talking in the theater I just ram an ice pick into their ear.

(Anyone remember that real life story?)

Every word of my story is true, other than the joke about my dog. I wanted to end on a somewhat light note.

Mmmm... I have a feeling if you threw someone 20 feet off a balcony, you'd be talking to the cops rather than just going back to your seat to watch the movie.


My two screaming baby theater occurrences were at A Fish Called Wanda and Hellboy. In both instances the parents would take the kid out for a couple minutes, then come right back in and let the kid scream for 20 minutes at a time through the entire movie.

My "cops raid the theater" and the lights stayed on while a cop stood at the back entrance was at Enemy Mine. Apparently they were looking for someone, but it ruined the movie viewing experience and no refund was offered.

And there was one time I was the only person in a theater for an afternoon matinee (it began
like a dream come true - having an entire theater all to myself) but they never started the movie - I guess no one saw me sitting right in the middle. I had to go find a manager to tell them no movie was playing. This is when I went to see The Devil's Rejects - I don't know what possessed me to go see THAT!

Most people in the cinema recognized that I was sticking up for them so nobody called the police just because I stood up to the bad guys

So, what happened to the guy who took a 20 foot plunge?

You were watching Hidden Figures weren't you.

Probably the devil himself.

I'm starting to feel priviledged here.

On saturday 8th of July 2000 (I remember because it was a day before my mom's birthday) I went to see The Phantom Menace. And I really don't know what on God's Earth menaced me to see THAT! since I can't stand Star Wars, as everybody knows already I guess. I guess the buzz was such that after over a year I decided to torture myself. Anyway,I was the only one thre, but not for long. It was such rubbish, even for SW standards, that I walked out. I often do that anyway - I can't endure a movie even in cinema! So what if I payed? It's torture. You feel like Scorpio from Dirty Harry who payed the bloke to beat him up.

On 24st May 2002 I again went to torture myself with Attack of the Clones. I literally got physically sick,but I would walk out anyway. But I was again the only one. I didn't have enough, though. On 31st May I went to see it again. Again the only one - I was probably the only one mazochistic enough. I went out immidiately.

5th August 2004. LOTR Return of the King. The only one. I walked out after 1% of the movie, which is 3 minutes. 17th Aug. The Stepford Wives. The only one. But I liked that one.

21 May 2005. Revenge of the Sith. The only one. Walked out immidiately.

13 Aug 2006. Superman Returns. The only one.

28 October 2013. Gravity. The only one.

Monday 13th Oct 2014. Maze Runner. The only one.

Saturday 19th December 2015. the force Awakens. The only one.

21 Aug 2016 Star Trek Beyond.The only one.





But nothing beats that lunatic shooting paople right before The Dark Knight Rises.

I always remember my Enemy Mine experience because I had quite an encounter with the cop.

As said, the lights came up shortly after the movie started.
Two cops went up and down the aisles and the lights stayed on as one cop positioned himself by the door. The movie had already been disrupted and everyone kept turning around to look at the cop and people were murmuring about the lights.

So finally I decided to go to the bathroom (and find out what was going on).
The cop was a real jerk as he asked me, "Where do you think you're going?"
"To the bathroom," I said. "What's going on? Are you guys looking for someone?"
He said, "If you're going to the bathroom then just go and mind your own business."
That kind of irked me so I said, "I paid money to watch this movie and now it's been disrupted, so it kind of is my business. Are you going to stand here through the whole movie or are they going to turn the lights back down?"
Then he said, "Either go to the bathroom or go back to your seat."

So I went to the bathroom and when I returned the lights were still on and the cop was still there.
So again I said, "What's up?"
He said, "What do you want? Are you going back to your seat? You better go back to your seat unless you want trouble."
So I said, "Are they going to give us a refund since you disrupted the movie, won't tell anyone what's going on, and won't let them turn the lights down?"
He said, "You better mind your own business."
I said, "It is my business - I paid money to be here. Are we in danger? Is there someone armed in this theater or something?"

Then people around us started murmuring louder.

Then I asked, "Are they going to give us a refund? This movie cost a lot you know."
The cop said, "That's got nothing to do with me - take it up with the theater manager. I'm on police business, now either go sit and shut up or else I'll cuff you right here and you can sit out the movie in the back of the squad car."

So I went back to my seat where my friend was waiting. After a while the cop left and the lights went down - at least the first half of the movie had been disrupted.

Afterward I got into it with the theater manager. They refused to give a refund, a partial refund or even comp tickets to a future show, saying it was a police issue beyond their control and had nothing to do with them.

Video evidence of OP's story...

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Iro's Top 100 Movies v3.0

I'm not a Seinfeld fan at all...I even think it's pathetic, so no wonder my fave character is the evil Newman. The fat bastard.

But is this that episode when he just couldn't get into the theatre? That was brilliant. Ma fave is the one with the doorman. But that's about it.

That clip is from "The Opposite", where George decides to start doing the opposite of what he would normally do in any given situation such as calling out annoying audience members instead of quietly putting up with their antics.

Whilst i dont go to those extremes i do have a tendency to ask People to be quiet. My wife and i were watching Magnificent Seven in leeds,UK and there was an older couple Who were drunk and he was a constant annoyance, i told him to be quiet at which point he got up to confront me only to be ushered off by his wife. 😠

Go away, Kermode.

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Thanks again, Mr Portridge.

Fantastic.

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