Ashdoc's Bollywood movie reviews

Badlapur ( The city of revenge---2015 )



Raghav's ( played by Varun Dhawan ) life and career is going great guns , till a bizarre and cruel twist of fate tears it apart totally . A pair of bank robbers (Liak and Harman played by Nawazuddin Siddiqui and Vinay Pathak respectively ) try to escape the police in his wife's car and in the mayhem one of them kills both his wife and son....

While Raghav is left to try to pick up the pieces of what is left his life , Liak is captured by the police and blames the murders on his partner Harman---who has escaped . The movie then follows the trajectories of the life of the three protagonists in the situation---Raghav , Liak and Harman .

Liak remains in Jail for years on end , justly paying for his sins . Harman escapes with the money to start a hotel business with a sexy and hot young wife---Koko , played by Radhika Apte . But the victim Raghav just cannot cope with the loss of his family and just wanders off into the wilderness , and finds succour only when he reaches a city with a strange name---Badlapur , the city of revenge....

....And when the victim finds his refuge in a city with such a name one can be sure that at some point in the film he is going to go for what he truly wants---revenge , what else....

So for how long does he wait for his revenge ??
And whom does he take the revenge against ??
Is he successful in his bid to take revenge ??

But the real question is---is the revenge worth it ?? Is it right to remain ruminating over past events ( however brutal they are ) and waste your life ?? Didn't a great man from this very nation tell the world that an eye for an eye will turn the whole world blind ??

So who is going to show Raghav the light---about the futility of revenge ??
Watch the movie for the answers , for it delivers this message with grit and also in a surprising manner .

Nawazuddin Siddiqui (Liak ) is the one who makes us laugh at his taunts to the other jailbirds and anger us with his evil ; he is the one who frustrates the police with his refusal to tell his partner's name even after savage beatings at the same time he blames the partner for the murders , and he is the one who surprises us by loving his girlfriend with unexpected passion....So the movie rests squarely and fairly on the shoulders of Nawazuddin to deliver an acting performance , and he comes up with a super performance . For his enemy ( Raghav ) is played by the inexperienced Varun Dhawan , and even though Varun has tried his best , his inexperience clearly shows....Especially when the movie moves to 15 years later in time , Varun ( who is a young man ) looks too young to be in his 40s . The effort to make him look older with a beard has failed .

But the others ( like Liak's girlfriend played by Huma Qureishi ) and Radhika Apte ( Koko ) play their roles all too well , and they play their roles with sensuousness....I found myself remembering Radhika in a sexy blue negligee and in a sari with backless and sleeveless blouse and above all half nude in a bra and panty almost going to be raped---all scenes which she has done in the film . The film is clearly for adults only and not for children....
Yami Gautam ( the murdered wife ) is beautiful as usual , but she does not have to accept such smallish roles---considering her beauty .
Divya Dutta wears backless blouses too , and looks enticing for her age .

The music is mostly in the background , but is entirely appropriate for the situation . The songs are worth remembering .
The film has no fancy locations , and the budget for making it must have been low . Hopefully even a modest run at the box office will give it a profit .

....And a profit it does deserve , considering the fact that it is gripping and has twists and turns that keep you guessing as to what will happen next till the very end . It cannot be called a true action packed thriller . But the violence when it comes , does make an impact .

Verdict---Good .

Yeh jawani hai deewani ( This young age is crazy )



I went to see this movie to see Ranbir Kapoor inch closer to superstardom.....
After all ,the Khans are getting old and are looking jaded and we need fresh blood to be injected into the star system....
....And Ranbir for now looks like the best bet for that purpose , especially after his performances in Rockstar and Barfi---maybe he will fulfill the hopes that Hrithik Roshan dashed a decade ago , of supplementing if not replacing the Khans...

And I think the audience went for that reason too....
Of course , they also went to see the magic of his pairing with ex flame Deepika Padukone.....

.....For the audience response to this movie at least on the opening weekend has been simply thunderous....
There were not tickets available for any shows of this movie in my regular multiplex on Sunday , or in any theater for miles around.....
Ultimately I had to go a long distance to see this movie....

So was it worth all the trouble I took to see this movie ??
Lets see....

The director reveals his mediocrity by inserting an item number by Madhuri Dixit just after the beginning of the movie---not only does Madhuri look old but the item number looks totally out of place ; one of the most pointless item numbers I have seen....

The movie reveals itself to be nothing new---
the boy ( Ranbir ) is someone who has his heart on his sleeve and is endlessly in search of new girlfriends to screw , which is something that he accomplishes with aplomb.....and it goes without saying that this is exactly what Indian men would like to do , at least in their youth.....
and the girl ( Deepika ) is studious and nice and caring and a homely and in search of true love and of the type that wants to remain loyal to only one man---which is exactly what Indian men would like their women to be.....

So is their anything new in this ??---nothing actually.....
In fact haven't we seen this in endless movie after movie---superflirt boy meets good character girl....

So they meet and go to Manali ( shot in Gulmarg in Kashmir actually , as Kashmir chief minister Omar Abdullah wants to remind us ) and have a helluva time---they enjoy , they go trekking on a mountain on which ghosts are supposedly present , they get into fights with locals , they drink and they make merry.....

Along with them is the lovely Kalki Koechlin who looks stunning in every scene and Aditya Roy Kapoor who seems to be destined to play semi tragic roles.....

And the inevitable happens---the girls fall in love with the guys....

But while they are all having a ball in Manali , is the audience enjoying it all ??
To be honest , at least I was not greatly impressed by these scenes---they can be called all right but nothing fantastic....

Coming to the story , do the guys respond to love ??

At least in Ranbir's case , the answer is definitely no....
He is filled with wanderlust , and wants to travel and film the world....
And has no time for homebody Deepika.....
So she senses his lack of attachment and never confesses her love and he goes off to foreign lands....

And Kalki too realises her mistake and ceases to follow Aditya who is destined to be a drunkard ( is that going to be his fate in all films he acts in ?---I hope not.... )

But they are all destined to come together eight years down the line in Kalki's wedding with another man---in the lake palace of Udaipur which is a now a five star hotel no less ( in Karan Johar's world supply of money for paying bills of 5 star hotels is never a problem ).....

So will old flames be rekindled ?? And who will respond to true love ??
Go and watch the movie for that....

The real magic lies of the film in the scenes between Ranbir and Deepika---and the scenes get better and so does the magic as the movie nears its end.....
The two look really good together , and one wonders why Ranbir's parents are opposing the pairing in real life....here's hoping they come together again the future in real life ; to hell with Rishi and Neetu Kapoor's opposition.....

But the rest of the movie does not work well---it is too long and tedious and is stretched too much....

Of course , it panders shamelessly to every Indian man's dream---after having fun with all the loose women all over the world they want a vestal virgin waiting for them back home.....

The film gets better towards the end with some genuine moments but the mid part is lengthy and somewhat slow....
.....And haven't we seen the marriage scenes in all of Karan Johar's films---again they are repeated while showing Kalki's wedding but I found nothing new in them either.....

So will Ranbir Kapoor become superstar ?? Judging from the hordes coming to see this film he will become one in future I suppose.....

But this is not really the film that I would like to remember as having made him a superstar---it's simply not that great....
Till a better film comes , .the superstardom can wait....

Verdict---decent .

Yaariyan ( Friendships )



The only thing interesting about ' Yaariyan ' is the songs . Like so many movies in the past from Dev Anand and Mala Sinha's 'Maya' to Ajay Devgan and Madhoo's 'Phool aur kaante' this film too hopes to ride onto box office success on the strength of it's music inspite of a mediocre script.
.....And indeed the music score is memorable , and is almost capable of lifting the film alone on it's shoulders....

Of course , for people of naughty tastes there is the other temptation---plenty of half naked girls....
Girls in hot pants and shorts and lingerie try their best to bring the audiences to the theater by gyrating their bodies so that the more ample parts are on show.....
Sadly , that did not manage to bring any people to watch the movie---for the theater was practically empty on a weekday nightshow.....

To be honest , the audiences were smarter than me in staying away---for I was regretting my decision to see the movie halfway through....

Lookswise , the cast of the film is rightly chosen---the hero looks like a nice little puppy and the heroine is a cutie pie....
Above all , the heroine's Australian rival who manages to steal the hero's attention for a while reminded my of my fave actress Dia Mirza , and I was lost in her dreams for a while....

.....But beyond dreams there is reality , and the reality is that I had landed myself into seeing a mediocre film....
The acting by everyone is unconvincing , the script is badly written and the direction is stupid....
The sequence in which many of the scenes are shown is disjointed , and the story is corny as hell....

So what's the corny story ??
It's about a boy studying in a college in the Himalayas in the state of Sikkim who dreams of and is indeed surrounded by girls and girls and more girls....
He has contempt for his father who had laid down his life for the country in the past and his ambition is life is nothing but to have fun with girls....
And the movie is awash with girls in various states of undress curving and arching their bodies....

The first half is so stupid that I was laughing at the stupidity of the movie and the stupidity and laughter was giving me some enjoyment---that is , until I laughed and laughed too much and began to cough....

Finally the story began to move with a contest between the hero's college and an Australian college for which the hero and 5 others are chosen to go to Australia . Here the hero falls for the Girl who reminded me of Dia Mirza---but unlike Dia she shows off her sensational body in red bikinis....

But the Australians are not fair contestants and the hero suffers a personal tragedy while contesting with them which finally turns the film into serious mode....
But why did the director put the huge clonking sound in the film when the tragedy occurs ??.....Oh , I forgot she ( yeah , it's a 'she' ) had decided to make the film as silly as possible and was staying true to form....

The second half has some half hearted patriotism as the Australians come to Sikkim for the remaining part of the contest , and the hero comes to terms with his father's sacrifice for the nation . There is some melodrama about upholding the nation's flag in face of the Aussie challenge....

But did the director have to interrupt even this with the second romance ??---that of the hero with the heroine , who is shown to be a typical Indian girl who ultimately wins the hero's heart after he has had the fun with all the bikini babes in the typical hypocritical style of Bollywood where modern girls are shown to be only for fun while marriage is done with the homely girl.....
The only thing that was modern about this was the fact that the mother of the hero is the one who encourages the hero and the heroine to fall in love . This a pleasant change from the era of films showing parental opposition as the main obstruction to love....

So does the hero manage to uphold the nation's honour in the high Himalayas ??
And what about the fact that there is betrayal in his own camp ??
To go to see the movie for answers to these questions is not worth it even if you like music and semi naked girls---better buy a CD for the music and watch 'Bikini destinations' on TV if you like semiclad girls....

The second half is somewhat more bearable than the first half due to the theme of patriotism but does not manage to salvage the film .

Verdict---Waste of money and time .

How super cool are we



Tushar Kapoor and Ritesh Deshmukh try to recreate the magic of their superentertaining movie ' kya cool hai hum '( how cool are we ) years later by adding the word ' super ' to the title .

'' sigh '' --if wishes were horses beggars would ride.....
And just adding the word ' super ' does not enhance the entertainment of the movie.....

The earlier movie had a powerpacked performance by Isha Koppikar as inspector Urmila Martodkar , who looked mouthwateringly enticing in red saris and acted with the practised ease of a veteran . But this movie has two novice actresses in lead roles and they simply lack the experience to fit the mighty shoes of Isha Koppikar .

So the load of shouldering the movie rests on acting talent ( whatever it amounts to ) of Tushar and Ritesh ; on that and on a lot of corny sex jokes----its a sex comedy after all.....
......and together they fail to deliver , inspite of desperate attempts to crack dirty jokes in every situation .

So what dirty jokes ?? For those desperate to know about them here are some---
Anupam Kher is father of one of the heroines and his name is Marlo ( means 'sodomize me' in hindi language ) and he has an uncanny habit of turning around and showing his protruding ass after saying '' maar lo '' .
As if this is not enough , his dead mother is named 'Rose Mary Marlo' ( sodomize me daily ) .
And he believes that his mother has been reincarnated as a female dog !! ( The word '' bitch '' is too much for a respectable lady )
Such a person can also be fooled to believe that his father has also been reincarnated as a male dog---and that dog is the dog which is in possession of Ritesh.....anything goes.....
So a wedding is of the dogs is duly arranged---but not before the two dogs have had a roll in the hay , or rather grass.....

Its upto the two heros to bring Anupam of 'maar lo' and 'roz meri maar lo' fame to his senses and make the right matches---those of the two heroes to the heroines.....

But for dullards such as these two its not a easy job especially if Ritesh who is a DJ has a horrible habit of called his compact discs as dics ( dicks ) and lands up at gay parties talking of his liking for hard dicks....oh he really meant hard discs you see.....

The one good thing is that both heroes dont seem to have aged since the last film . Ritesh must have complained through his politician father about the lack of footage given to him in the last film and the screen space being hogged by Tushar in that film for he gets good footage in this film .
Sadly that does not help make the film any better....or does it make the film worse ?? ( evil thought )

Tushar has improved his body.....but in his haste to do that did he forget to do the same to his acting skills ?? ( evil thought again ashdoc )
He is once again like in the last film in search of a lucky female soulmate but this time without the black spot on her heart that was supposed to bring him good luck in the last 'non super' version of the film .
Question is---does the black spot bring real luck ?? For without it the film is going to sink faster than the titanic at the box office.....

Verdict---not good .

Coffee bloom ( 2015 )



SPOILER ALERT

'Coffee Bloom' is set in the lovely coffee plantations of Coorg , a mountainous and scenic region of penisular India . And the cinematographer does justice to the scenery in which the film has been shot , by showcasing the verdant land full of lush greenery and lakes and beautiful forests . One gets in to a relaxed mood on seeing the superb landscape , and does not want to see any trouble break into this paradise....

....But trouble does come , in the form of a troubled young man ( Dev Cariappa played by Arjun Mathur ) who has a permanently skewed expression on his face . His life has gone off course years ago , after his elopement with his girlfriend was derailed by her parents and she was separated from him by brute force . He then sold his coffee plantation in Coorg in a fit of frustration and retreated into renouncement of the world altogether to try to become an ascetic . But the death of his mother forces him to face the real world , and he realizes his mistake in selling the lush green coffee plantation that was family property . And he comes back to Coorg---the land of his ancestors , the land where he grew up , the land with so many childhood memories...to try to reclaim the land .

And what does he come face to face with in his land ?? His woman....or rather his ex girlfriend Anika ( played by Sugandha Garg )....It is her husband who owns the plantation now , and he is known as Vas ( actually Vas is short form of Srinivas Panicker , played by Mohan Kapoor ) . Vas is a jolly good fellow who may be a nice guy but has little in the way of brains . He dreams of having a coffee bloom in his plantation without any technical knowledge of growing coffee and hires Dev the coffee growing expert , not knowing that it is Dev's former land....

Hmm....Dev's former land and Dev's former woman---Vas is in possession of them both....And Dev is determined to get them both back , by hook or crook....and sparks fly between Dev and Anika , who looks good in chest hugging and cleavage baring tops....but the situation is complicated by the entry of the Bengali woman who loves Dev , and who outmatches Anika due to her buxom figure and her full body and her wet saris and her sleeveless blouses....

So who what happens next ?? Will Dev get his land and his woman and his revenge over his wrongs and his life.....will he get them back ?? What about the innocent Vas who is not party to any of these secrets ?? What is the role of the bengali woman in all this ??
Watch the movie for the answers....

All the actors act out their part well , but the best acting is by Mohan Kapoor . He puts joi de vivre in his role , endlessly yak yaking from his mouth and seeming like a genuine person . You really feel sympathy for his character , completely oblivious to the storm brewing around him while he is dreaming of brewing coffee !! Compared to him , Dev ( Arjun Mathur ) looks like a selfish and self centered person constantly brooding over past wrongs . Anika maintains her composure even though she is caught between two men , Sugandha Garg has acted that role well . Ultimately it is the Bengali woman who urges Dev to do what is right....

I was pleasantly surprised by the lovely locations and breathtaking scenery of the film , the acting of the actors , and the good direction and storyline , and above all by the fine ending !! And I was happy that there are little gems to be discovered in the world of film making and this film is such a gem....
There is only one song and it is hummable , and the music is good and apt for the situations .

One day I hope to visit Coorg ; but if I can't then I will watch it in this film....

Verdict---Good .
Three and a half stars .

Jigariyaa (Beloved--- 2014 )



Agra---famous for the world's most iconic monument for love , the Taj mahal built by mughal emperor Shah Jahan in memory for his lost wife Mumtaz mahal....and therefore a fit setting for some old fashioned no holds barred romance that seems to have happened in another age....

....But that age still lives in India , for this story is supposed to be actually inspired by true events that probably occurred in the 20th century....

So we head towards the state of Uttar pradesh where Agra is situated , to those backwaters of India where practical matters rarely rule young lovers' minds like they do in modern cities like Mumbai/Bombay and Delhi , and people are ready to do and die for love....

.....And where such stories exist , there ashdoc goes---for somewhere inside me there is the heart of a hopeless romantic....
I could not watch this movie in the theatres when it was released a few months back , and all my efforts to get a DVD/VCD of it failed for the simple reason that the film has not been released in that version....so I was forced to watch it in youtube , where a grainy video of the film exists....

So Shyamlal Gupta ( Shamu---played by Harshvardhan Deo ) is the son of the owner of a sweetmeats shop . He is a wastrel---fails in college repeatedly , does not help his father in the shop , and spends his time idling the time away with his good for nothing friends . His only passion is creating poetry , a talent in which he excels and in which he is really original---to the point of dreaming of becoming a writer . But one day he lays his eyes on Radha ( played by Cherry Mardia ) , the goodlooking daughter of a rich man .And he falls in love with her . Showing an enthusiasm which he rarely shows in studies and work , he chases her rentlessly with the help of his friends till he locates her , and then claws his way into her house by winning the admiration of her grandmother using various tricks . Radha is initially reluctant to befriend him , but he is helped by a stroke of fortune----she turns out to be a aficionado of poetry just like him , and she is so impressed by his poetry that she gradually falls in love with him .

And then life gets the soft and endearing glow of requited romance....a romance that is played out in the magnificent monuments that the city of Agra possesses ; historical monuments that are the legacy of the rule of mughal emperors who had made Agra the capital city of their sprawling empire . It happens in the shadow of the Taj , and in a fashion which the emperor Shah Jahan would have approved....Shamu sits on an imaginary throne with a rose in his hand in the fashion of the great mughal , and Radha dances in front of him as if she is a dancing girl dancing in front of a mughal emperor ; and at the end of her performance , the emperor of her heart bestows her with his rose....needless to say , such scenes are possible only when both lovers are fond of poetry....

Uptil now , the film had a lighthearted tone and was full of funny scenes ; but suddenly the movie became intense as reality strikes....and that reality is all too familiar to people in these backward parts of India---the girl's family comes to know of the romance , and predictably they are appalled by their daughter's love for a person of a status that is not equal to them....
To be honest , I must congratulate the director for not showing violence being unleashed at this point ; for the situation was ripe for that . Ultimately the violence does come however , though only towards the end....

So what happens to the romance of the two lovebirds ?? Can it overcome all the obstacles to fulfil it's destiny ??
Watch the movie for the answers....I waited a long time to see a pathetic quality video of this film on youtube , but still felt that it was worth it....
And unless the film comes on TV , only that video is available for watching it....but those who have yen for romance as well as poetry will not regret watching this film .

The director and the actors excel in showing passion of love , a passion that may seem far fetched for those with practical minds ; and passion that can make the lovers cross the threshold of the impossible....but that passion seems fit in the shadow of the world's most iconic monument for love---the Taj mahal , what else....
Photography and music is good , and acting by everyone is good too .

At the end of it all , my only wish was that the film should have had a happier ending . But the film is supposedly based on a real life incident , and reality is always grim....so sometimes is life !!

Verdict---Good .
Three stars .

Yes, really good. Screenplay is great and Randeep did well (his rural language). Its producer looks smart enough, that he made a film like this in a low budget.

__________________
Passion Power

This is a different movie which tells things with a silent, for those who like serious films, Badlapur is worth watching.

Dozakh in search of heaven ( march 2015 )



''It is in the the midst of conflict that I found my peace''....or rather , I found my entertainment....
Nothing interests me more than films about religious conflict ; I never fail to watch a film that shows religions in rivalry with each other , it is cinematic heaven for me....So as soon as I heard about 'Dozakh in search of heaven' , I went to the multiplex in search of this nirvana...err heaven...

It deals with the story of a mullah who lives in a town near the holiest of holies for hindus---the city of Varanasi , called Benaras by the local people . The town where the mullah ( played by Lalit Mohan Tiwari ) lives is separated from Benaras by the mighty Ganges river .

But the gulf between the religion of the mullah ( Islam ) and the religion of the majority of the people around him ( Hinduism ) is greater than the width or the depth of the Ganges . Daily the mullah competes with the priest of the neighbouring Hindu temple to produce the maximum noise during morning prayers .

But his son Jan Muhammad ( played by Garrick Chaudhary ) , fondly called as Jaanu is too small and innocent to understand the differences between religions . He is fascinated by the Ram leela ( play enacting the Hindu epic Ramayan ) that is enacted by the neighbouring hindus , and takes part in it as the character of Hanuman the devotee of the Hindu God Ram . He has a friendship with the priest of the Hindu temple who gives him food and teaches him about Hindu customs and rituals . All this is not liked by his father , who beats his own son occasionally for the perfidy of partaking in Hindu habits .

But Jaanu continues his interest in Hindu customs and is convinced about the superiority of the Hindu custom of burning the bodies of the dead compared to the Muslim custom of burying the body . He develops a phobia of being buried in a dark grave after his death , and tells his father innocently that he does not want to be buried but rather would like to be cremated after death .

The crisis of the movie occurs when the boy loses his mother in an accident . He does not want her buried , and tries to dig her out of her grave after burial . Above all , he really believes the Hindu priest's story of the holy river Ganga ( Ganges ) being the mother of everyone , and begins to think that if he dives into the Ganga he might be able to meet his lost mother....

So what happens next ?? Where will the path taken by Jaanu lead him to ??
Watch the movie for the answers....

The path taken by the innocent Jaanu and the mullah's decision to do as Jaanu would have wanted it to be , will make the fundamentalists of both religions hang their heads in shame....

The movie is embellished with some fine acting performances by Garrick Chaudhary as the sweet little boy Jaanu and Lalit Mohan Tiwari as his father along with Ruby saini as the mother and Nazim Khan as the Hindu priest .
Editing however is rank sloppy , and voice synchronization with lip movements is not at all correct . This is because of the shoe string budget of the film . All this does not take away from the film's message and emotion . It has already won awards in film festivals and justly deserves them . However it will be liked only by the art movie lovers .

Verdict---Very decent .
Three stars .

NH 10 ( National highway number 10 )- march 2015





It is the age of demonizing the Indian people by painting the worst stereotype about them . The BBC has already made a documentary hinting that the typical Indian male is a potential rapist . But why blame the BBC ?? There are plenty in the Indian media and film industry ready to co operate in creating the worst image of India . They have all discovered that common Indian people are too mild to protest against the act of painting their society as barbaric , or they are simply don't care....
Only those who ape the west ( like Anushka and her husband in this movie ) are good enough to be above this barbarism , while those who lead traditional Indian lives are nothing but monsters....
And since most Indians still stick to the traditional modes of life rather than be westernized , therefore any movie painting India in it's 'true' colours has to show most Indians as savages....
Can you blame Bollywood for cashing in on this new trend in town ?? Can you really ?? Naah....

So the moment you step outside the big city Delhi ( just like Anushka and her husband Neil Bhoopalam do ) with all it's westernization , you step into barbaro-savage land....
It is land of honour killings of those couples who dare to fall in love , of savage beatings of young women with all the blood and gore....a land of brothers killing sisters without mercy , where even the police are in cahoots with the barbarians and elder women too rentlessly co operate with the upholders of barbarism....those women who dare to go out of their homes and use public toilets are taunted as prostitutes ( the word is written on the doors of women's toilets ) , and in the whole barbaric countryside no person is okay enough to answer properly if road directions are asked to him---such questions are answered back by rude taunts....

So as Anushka and Neil step out of their home and city to drive on National highway 10 , they step into another world....
....And hey presto , they promptly tread onto the harsh toes of those who are carrying out a honour killing....
As Neil tries to stop it , he gets involved in the mess much to Anushka's distress and against her opposition to the involvement....
His confidence increased by his possession of a gun he has acquired to protect Anushka from goons ( they are ever present In India you know , as the opening scene where Anushka's car is attacked by mobsters shows ) , Neil tracks the people who are carrying out the honour killing to their lair....
But he has bitten off more than he can chew , as the barbaro-savages are more barbaric and savage than he can even imagine....
A huge fight erupts between Anushka and her husband and the barbaro-savages....and Anushka and Neil are left fending for their bare lives....

So can the good westernized people who don't even know their own caste ( like Anushka ) survive their encounter with the barbaro-savages who kill anyone who dares to trifle with the ancient codes of caste and tradition ??
Watch the movie for the answers.....

The movie is real edge of the seat stuff , and is filled with thrilling moments of genuine action and real violence . It's a clear cut adults film due to the rough language and bloodshed . Acting by everyone is good , but especially by Anushka who shows a range of emotions from fear to dispair to anger....
Darshan Kumar is good as the villain , and Neil Bhoopalam is decent too .
Ultimately it is upto Anushka to show that hell hath no fury like a woman who smokes ( like she does in the movie ) , or rather hell hath no fury like a woman scorned....and believe me , the movie is replete with moments where women are scorned by men---all Indian males are like that only ( don't mind it !! I mean the Indian male does not mind being demonized this way and so the media is going to continue stereotyping him as such )....

There are only two songs and the music is appropriate for the situation . The enemies of the nation will applaud this well crafted effort to make the nation appear far worse than what it actually is....

Verdict---Good .
Three and a half stars .

Dum laga ke haisha (Put effort to carry this weight---March 2015)



The setting is in the 90s and India is still mired in backwardness . So much so that a young man ( played by Ayushmann Khurana ) in a city near the Himalayas is cajoled coerced forced and bullied into marriage with a girl he does not like .

This violation of human rights is mitigated by the fact that it does not happen with a woman....for such force being applied on the weaker sex would have made the matter too painful to bear and the film would have failed to gain sympathy of the audience . Instead we are asked/expected to look at the matter in a light hearted way as a force being applied by simple well meaning parents who want the best for their son .

And the woman in this case is ever ready to marry the young man , even though she is superior to him in education . Reason being---she is deemed not capable of getting a better husband as she is superior to most young men a matter she should not be , her weight....

Yeah , the young man has been forced to marry a fat woman double to him in weight . And he massively/excessively resents this , his resentment growing with every passing frame of the film . And your heart also reaches out to the woman ( played by Bhumi Pednekar ) who tries hard to win his heart and his affection .

Ayushmann runs a music cassette shop and dreams of being the next Kumar Shanu ( a famous Indian singer of the nineties ) . But actually he cannot pass from school and hence his parents and aunt feel that it is right to marry him to this overweight girl because she is a teacher by profession and can bring good money to the household . And you are inclined to agree....for these are lower middle class small town people with meagre income and limited horizons . It is all right for me to dream of human rights sitting in my posh house , but for these little people the prospect of a working daughter in law is too good to pass even if the son is to be bullied physically into accepting a wife double to him in size....

It is upto Bhumi Pedneker to win over the audience by gaining their sympathy---and she does so with aplomb....
You applaud and cheer her efforts to make her husband fall in love with her , and applaud and cheer more when she takes the lead in making love in bed ( every man dreams of a wife who takes the lead in bed , doesn't he....) ; but you applaud and cheer the hardest when she refuses to take her humiliation by him lying down and serves him a stinging slap.....yeah , our leading lady is one who is ever willing to stand up for her rights and is not shy to throw her (over)weight around because she is better educated than her in laws....

Sanjay Mishra plays the father of Ayushmann , and he pulls off the feat of being physically bullying towards his son but seeming well intentioned at the same time . This is done partly by showing his bullying scenes as light hearted stuff and partly by him never behaving badly with his daughter in law---in fact he is always siding with her....and siding with the weaker sex is the surest way of winning the audience's sympathy....

But matters take a worse turn and the situation reaches the divorce court .
So will the marriage end ??

Relax....there is the 'dum laga ke haisha' ( put effort to carry this weight ) contest round the corner---where the husband has to run across a series of obstacles carrying the weight of his wife on his shoulders....a chance to win real moolah for these small town folk....
And being able to carry the overweight of his wife on his able shoulders would instil a lot of confidence in our young man....so all hope for the marriage is not lost....and man lives on hope doesn't he....

The music is hummable and I found myself singing some of the songs in my bathroom---they could make the next Kumar Shanu out of me yet.....Budget of the film must be low , judging from the lack of stars in the cast and the decidedly unglamorous settings.....
Bhumi Pednekar looked good enough , especially when she wore that satin nightgown . Ayushmann has acted well .

Verdict---Good , especially for a family audience .
Four stars .

I'll keep an eye out for that, ashdoc. They play modern Indian films over here late at night sometimes.

__________________
5-time MoFo Award winner.

Ek paheli Leela ( This girl ( named Leela ) is a puzzle ) April 2015

Note---The film stars a Canadian born porn star of Indian origin named Sunny Leone , who has come to her parents' homeland India to act in Bollywood films .



Yesterday I had gone on a pilgrimage---pilgrimage to get a sighting...actually numerous sightings...of the sex goddess , Sunny Leone....

And this devotee of the sex goddess returned home blessed , for the goddess had smiled upon him....
Not only she had smiled , but she had heaved and panted with her breasts coming up and down in low cut blouses , she had entwined her legs around various men and writhed in orgasm , and she had danced showing her bare thighs and bare belly and deep navel like a heavenly damsel....

And this devotee had come close to the high altar of the sex goddess---actually I had got a seat close to the screen....so this devotee had a magnificent view of the perfect contours of her body....the breasts seemed like mountains and the navel like a deep valley when the huge screen was so near to me....

And she looked like a dream , she really did....so much so that I am dreaming of having wet dreams of her , of me worshipping her magnificent mountains and deep valleys in person at least in the dreams....oh goddess , please come in my dreams....

But do you know when she looked the most divine ?? When she was wearing a simple salwar kameez !! With red lipstick and a demure expression on her face !! Looking glorious with red bindi and simple makeup !! I wish I could have taken her to my mother in that form !! Mother would have approved of her....blush blush !!

What else do you want ?? The story !!
Well , it consists of Sunny flying down from London to Jaisalmer in India to come face to face with her past life---a life when she loved a man ( Rajneesh Duggal ) and became ready to pose for his mentor ( Rahul Dev ) who wanted to carve her statue in stone , so beautiful was she....
But the mentor began to lust for her...who wouldn't....

That is the past life....But who is the singer ( Jay Bhanushali ) who has come in this life and gets tortured visions of beatings by Rahul Dev in this life ?? And who is really the prince she has fallen in love with in this life ( played by Mohit Ahlawat ) ?? And his rival prince ( Jas Arora ) who openly lusts for her and who also has a property dispute with Mohit ??

Phew !! So many men !! That is Sunny Leone for you !!....no I am not gonna take her to meet my mother---that programme is cancelled !!

So in the midst of all these men and Sunny what happens ?? And how come the past and present lives of Sunny and these men are intertwined ??
Watch the movie for that !!

What you get is an extravaganza of colour in the desert---Sunny leone cavorting in stunning dresses and dancing and prancing on the sands and in the palaces of Rajasthan....even the parched desert will become wet after seeing Sunny Leone the way our dreams become wet....
The photography is good and music is even better , giving visual and sonic entertainment....

What else do you want ?? Well , one wants some good acting which is missing ; and one would like someone to dub in hindi for Sunny....for her hindi is too english accented ; and one would like some good storyline---all of which is sadly missing....
The ending especially is insipid....

But who cares !! The pilgrim had reached his destination , and had been rewarded with a vision ( numerous visions actually ) of the sex goddess....
And the pilgrim had returned home a satisfied man....

Now if you are such a pilgrim of Sunny Leone , then and only then will you return home satisfied....
Otherwise , the curse of the sex goddess will be upon you....for the film ain't that good....you will feel your money wasted....
So to not waste your money , why don't you become her devotees like me ??

Verdict---Just about okay .
Less than two stars .

Ishq kay parindey ( april 2015 )---



'Ishq kay parindey' ( The doves of peace ) is a Indo Pak love story set in the city of nawabs---Lucknow . Embellished with soulful music and poetry , the film truely showcases the royal culture of Lucknow .

Unlike other Indo Pak love stories where the religious angle is important , here it is not ; both the hero and the heroine belong to the same religion . But the hero Faiz ( played by Rishi Verma ) is an Indian who makes it clear in some dialogues that his loyalties lie with India , while the heroine Sheen ( played by Priyanka Mehta ) is a Pakistani .

SHEEN !! The name brings Kashmir in mind....for in the kashmiri language sheen means snow , and there has already been a film on Kashmir called Sheen which was made in 2004 ( I have reviewed it ; search for the review if you want ) . However in the arabic language sheen means beautiful .

If Sheen is taken to represent Kashmir , then director Shakir Khan has played a deft hand indeed....for Sheen who comes from Karachi in Pakistan is fond of saying that even in Pakistan she used to say that she was half Hindustani ( Indian ) because she had relatives in India . And now that she has come to visit India , she never intends to leave ; she is in love with the land and it's people---heartwarming stuff for Indians indeed....

And she is in love with an Indian too---for the director effortlessly weaves an old fashioned romance between Faiz and Sheen ; old fashioned because it starts with love letters sent on kites and carrier pigeons before Sheen takes the lead in giving her mobile phone number to Faiz . And the romance continues amidst the old world charm of Lucknow , in the picturesque locales that dot the city---Rumi Gate, Bara Imambara, Hazrat Ganj, Sheesh Mahal, Qaiser Bagh, Begum Hazrat Mahal Maqbara, Residency, Jehangirabad Palace, Sultanat Manzil, Dada Miyan Dargah, Teelewaali Masjid and many others .

The relaxed mood which the romance puts you in is heightened by the lovely songs and beautiful poetry in the film , with dialogues laced with the urdu language . The photography of the green countryside and historical monuments is good too , with shots of doves flying in the air....

And frankly , I never wanted the spiel of romance to break ; I wanted to soak in the romantic atmosphere and go to sleep with dreams of romance....
But beyond dreams is the real world , the the real world consists of some cruel people....Sheen has to come to terms with the fact that the pacific Faiz has a brother who is a gangster....and she cannot come to terms with that fact !! For she has come to India to escape the endemic violence in Pakistan that has claimed the lives of practically all her relatives there , and is not mentally prepared to live with Faiz's violent relatives .

So she prepares to marry another man , leaving Faiz shattered....

So does she marry another man ??
Or are we in for the Romeo and Juliet of the 21st century , given the violent propensities of both her new fiance and Faiz's relatives ??
Watch the movie for the answers....

I particularly liked the soulful songs and fine poetry of the film , and it's nice photography....but the beauty of the heroine Priyanka Mehta was worth a watch too--large blue grey eyes and silken pink skin....
Acting was decent by everyone .

The message of the director is---peace....peace between India and Pakistan , peace for the lovers immerse themselves in love , peace for Kashmir---if Sheen indeed is meant to represent it....
And unlike the trend today , the director is not shy of saying or at least hinting that India is a better place than Pakistan....that did make me a little bit happy....and biased me in favour of the film....

Verdict---decent .
Three stars .

Had you done a reviews of the following movies?
Commando One Man Army
Asoka
Dhoom 1
Agneepath
Guru
Khakee
Firaaq
Aankhen
Shabri
Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap
Sheitan

Any english podcasts about Bollywood movies?

only of commando one man army . thats because i started reviewing in 2010 , and have never reviewed any movie before that .

Your reviews are good so far, but you should use these. It makes you look more professional and it makes the admins jobs easier.

__________________
Little Dick Wick played with his prick. Don't the smell just make you sick?

thanks for your appreciation of my reviews .

i use the popcorn rating for my english movie reviews . but i dont use it for bollywood reviews because i dont want to flood the reviews section with bollywood movie reviews . after all , this remains a primarily hollywood movie forum .

I'd say it's primarily arthouse-heavy forum.

__________________
Look, I'm not judging you - after all, I'm posting here myself, but maybe, just maybe, if you spent less time here and more time watching films, maybe, and I stress, maybe your taste would be of some value. Just a thought, ya know.

i would like to correct my statement and say that those who read reviews here are more into reading english movie reviews . i dont think there is any point in having bollywood movie reviews in the reviews section .