Day 160: October 6th, 2010
Jonah Hex
Is HATE a strong enough word to describe this film?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the worst film of 2010. Jonah Hex is a sorry excuse for a film, a horrible mess and everyone involved should be punished in one way or another. Well, everyone who is relatively good. Mr. Brolin and Mr. Malkovich should know better, I expect crap like this from Megan Fox. This is such a mess, I don't really know where to begin.
Well, If I have to start somewhere I guess it would be with the script. What a load of crap. If crap like this is what passes for screenplays these days then I need to change my 'career' path. I'm sure the script was riddled with spelling mistakes too, since the writer must not have known a single thing about what makes a story work. Nothing cohesive here, just a bunch of random scenes thrown together.
Next on the plate are the actors. We have Josh Brolin, who seems to have had a recent resurgence of fame with his role in No Country For Old Men. Not leading man type, he tries his best with the crap he was given. He has the troubled task of trying to give a performance with part of his mouth being sealed. So he grunts and mumbles his way through most of the lines. John Malkovich does the same old bad guy routine. He was better as the despicable villain in Con Air, Teddy KGB in Rounders and John Horatio Malkovich in Being John Malkovich. He was clearly looking for a paycheck and decided to sleep through his role here.
Lastly is Megan Fox, the girl that gets roles based on her looks and her looks alone. She scored with Transformers and made a lot of boys become teens. Here, the filmmakers decided that she wasn't pretty enough, so they must have used CGI to pretty her face up a bit because it seems that every shot of her has a heavenly glow. Her role? Pointless, she plays a tramp who sleeps with Hex, apparently they are in 'love'. She's used as bait to get Hex caught...that's it. Poor writing. They don't even use her best assets in this film. She has sex appeal and they use none of it. Her accent, if you can call it that, is ear bleeding.
Don't even get me started on the casting of Will Arnett.
Jonah Hex was never popular enough to warrant a film adaptation. This piss poor version is proof why you should not make every comic book character into a film. Jonah Hex comes off as a poor man's Wild Wild West. Yes, it is even worse than that trash...and that trash had giant robotic spiders.
The ideas presented here aren't even interesting enough to worth a mention. The powers that Hex has, being able to talk to the dead, is laughable. It is an idea that had potential, but was used poorly and the the aspects of it are laughable and inconsistent, or maybe just poorly explained. In any event, I was surprised that I was able to make it through to the end of the film, even with a running time of...what? 80 minutes? They couldn't even come up with enough material to fill the 90 minute standard run time? Wow, that's including ten minutes of credits? How do they get away with this?
Jonah Hex is so bad it's not even fun bad. It's just horrendous bad. I actually hate myself for watching this.
Jonah Hex
Is HATE a strong enough word to describe this film?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the worst film of 2010. Jonah Hex is a sorry excuse for a film, a horrible mess and everyone involved should be punished in one way or another. Well, everyone who is relatively good. Mr. Brolin and Mr. Malkovich should know better, I expect crap like this from Megan Fox. This is such a mess, I don't really know where to begin.
Well, If I have to start somewhere I guess it would be with the script. What a load of crap. If crap like this is what passes for screenplays these days then I need to change my 'career' path. I'm sure the script was riddled with spelling mistakes too, since the writer must not have known a single thing about what makes a story work. Nothing cohesive here, just a bunch of random scenes thrown together.
Next on the plate are the actors. We have Josh Brolin, who seems to have had a recent resurgence of fame with his role in No Country For Old Men. Not leading man type, he tries his best with the crap he was given. He has the troubled task of trying to give a performance with part of his mouth being sealed. So he grunts and mumbles his way through most of the lines. John Malkovich does the same old bad guy routine. He was better as the despicable villain in Con Air, Teddy KGB in Rounders and John Horatio Malkovich in Being John Malkovich. He was clearly looking for a paycheck and decided to sleep through his role here.
Lastly is Megan Fox, the girl that gets roles based on her looks and her looks alone. She scored with Transformers and made a lot of boys become teens. Here, the filmmakers decided that she wasn't pretty enough, so they must have used CGI to pretty her face up a bit because it seems that every shot of her has a heavenly glow. Her role? Pointless, she plays a tramp who sleeps with Hex, apparently they are in 'love'. She's used as bait to get Hex caught...that's it. Poor writing. They don't even use her best assets in this film. She has sex appeal and they use none of it. Her accent, if you can call it that, is ear bleeding.
Don't even get me started on the casting of Will Arnett.
Jonah Hex was never popular enough to warrant a film adaptation. This piss poor version is proof why you should not make every comic book character into a film. Jonah Hex comes off as a poor man's Wild Wild West. Yes, it is even worse than that trash...and that trash had giant robotic spiders.
The ideas presented here aren't even interesting enough to worth a mention. The powers that Hex has, being able to talk to the dead, is laughable. It is an idea that had potential, but was used poorly and the the aspects of it are laughable and inconsistent, or maybe just poorly explained. In any event, I was surprised that I was able to make it through to the end of the film, even with a running time of...what? 80 minutes? They couldn't even come up with enough material to fill the 90 minute standard run time? Wow, that's including ten minutes of credits? How do they get away with this?
Jonah Hex is so bad it's not even fun bad. It's just horrendous bad. I actually hate myself for watching this.
__________________
"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have."
Suspect's Reviews
"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have."
Suspect's Reviews