One Movie A Day Remix

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Bright light. Bright light. Uh oh.

I'll give credit where credit is due. I like the poster.

Captivity is nothing more than a film that you pass on a shelf and shouldn't think twice of looking at.

So why in the hell did you not "pass" on it? Something about the poster...?
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
My IMDb page

This sounded crap and it 'starred' Elisha Cuthbert (who appears to be famous because she's... Well... Pert?) so I didn't even give it the cursory glance on the shelf. Sorry you had to do more.

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
So why in the hell did you not "pass" on it? Something about the poster...?
I dig the genre and wanted to see the film that had to ban some of the advertising posters.

Plus, I didn't know it was the type of film you pass by without giving it a second glance until AFTER I saw it.
"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have."

Suspect's Reviews

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Day 108: August 16th, 2010


The first kiss could be your last.

Vamp, unfortunately doesn't get interesting or good until the second half of the film. As a horror film, it doesn't scare and as a comedy it gets no laughs. I found Vamp to be oddly trying to balance both and not succeeding very well. The overall feel of the film is off, but the last half or so is some neat stuff.

The entire town is overrun by vampires and we gradually see this as the night goes on and the characters become more desperate. The story is about two fraternity pledges who try to find a stripper to entertain their college friends. Things go awry when, of course, they are vampire strippers. If this sounds like From Dusk Till Dawn, then congratulations. From Dusk Till Dawn obviously borrowed many elements from this film.

As far as vampire films go, I'd stick with Fright Night and the Lost Boys, but wouldn't necessarily count Vamp out just yet. It's got all the essentials to be a good movie, the 80's cheese is pouring through here. I just didn't dig it as much as I would have expected. It might have been the production values, or again, that oddly balanced humour that fails. Putting aside the lame parts with people popping up that should be dead and other nonsense, the film is entertaining in parts. The pinks and greens that illuminate the street add to the surreal world these characters find themselves in.

To wrap things up, Vamp is a mediocre film. Not much else to say, if you're a lover of 80's horror then I would say this is right up your alley.

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Day 109: August 17th, 2010

Sherlock Holmes

Nothing Escapes Him.

For those wondering why I chose this poster, it's because she is drop dead gorgeous.

Sherlock Holmes makes it to the big screen with the help of Guy Ritchie with his first real Hollywood film. Robert Downey Jr. is the titled character, this time playing up more of the bad boy attitude. This role is similar to the recent Iron Man films, as both Holmes and Stark are egotistical geniuses with a substance abuse problem. Does life imitate art?

Robert Downey Jr brings that same quick wit and attitude that we loved him for in Iron Man to Holmes and he plays of really well with Jude Law. The two have better chemistry than the supposed romantic relationship. The bromance between the two is one of the highlights in the film. Law, as Watson, brings his comedic skills to light as he tries to be the level headed one of the group. Rachel McAdams is the Irene Adler, the only person to get the best of Holmes. She is likable, as always and even though the relationship doesn't match what the boys have, it's still good enough to get a pass by me.

The film is more action oriented than what one would think a Sherlock Holmes film would be. But to my surprise, Holmes in the books did know martial arts. So in a weird way, it fits. I don't know how I feel about the slow motion sequences, but that's just a few technical nit picks here and there that don't really affect the overall story of the film.

Blackwood, the villain, played by the guy who seems to love the evil roles, Mark Strong. He uses black magic to try and get what he wants, something that Holmes doesn't believe in and this truly tests his theories and beliefs. Blackwood is caught at the beginning of the film and sentence to hang, but mysteriously rises from the grave days later. He is out to kill again and Holmes must stop him.

It's popcorn entertainment and exactly the type of performance one would expect from Robert Downey Jr. Ritchie handles the Hollywood budget well and gives us one of his better films as of late. I'm just happy he's not trying to recapture the Lock Stock and Snatch glory days anymore.

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Day 110: August 18th, 2010


In search of wine. In search of women. In search of themselves.

Paul Giamatti should have a least been nominated for his role in Sideways. It's probably his greatest performance to date. Sad sack and and depression magnet, Miles goes on a trip with friend Jack to go wine tasting. Jack is about to get married and the two are having one last hurrah before he walks down that aisle. The film is written and directed by Alexander Payne and it was his last directorial effort. The film was released in 2004. We need Payne to be writing and directing more films so we can actually have the pleasure of watching something good on our screens.

As I mentioned earlier, Giamatti gives a touching and hysterical performance in a film full of them. Thomas Hayden Church can thank this film for resurrecting his career from the pits of George of the Jungle 2. Sandra Oh and Virginia Madson both give great supporting roles and are the glue to make the film stick together, without them the film would have been missing a lot of emotion from that female perspective that was needed.

A well written script, which is no surprise since it's Payne. Deservedly winning the Oscar that year. When I saw this film in the theatres, I walked into the film thinking it was going to be a straight up drama, and was pleasantly surprised to see it was a comedy. The comedy still works today since it's not in your face slapstick humour. It's the actions of the characters and their choices that make us laugh.

The ending was perfect for the tone of this film. It fits the theme so well that if it were different I would be disappointed. It's anti-Hollywood and it works. The characters are real and we are able to connect with them, the film is one of the best of the year (2004) and certainly one of my favourites.

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Day 111: August 19th, 2010


David is 11 years old. He weighs 60 pounds. He is 4 feet, 6 inches tall. He has brown hair. His love is real. But he is not.

Oh, how I wish it were Kubrick directing this. I can only imagine how different it would have been. Spielberg is not as visceral as Kubrick and is too smooth with his filmmaking. Kubrick was hard edged and A.I. needed that because the subject matter certainly was.

A.I. or Artificial Intelligence, tells the tale of a robot boy who desperately wants to become real. Pinocchio for the updated generation. It stars the hottest young actor at the time, Haley Joel Osment as the young robotic boy and Jude Law as a robot named Gigolo Joe.

A.I. tries so hard to capture that Kubrick feeling and if this is Spielberg's tribute to the filmmaker, then it's a shallow one. There are people out there who would argue otherwise and say that it is the perfect tribute to such a filmmaker. I guess that's what made Kubrick so good. Imitated, but never duplicated, sorry Steven.

The film went on far way too long. It should have ended with the boy lost forever in time under the water. Had that been the actual ending, the ending I have to believe was the one that Kubrick wanted, I would have given this a better rating. But this is not the case. The dark and brooding ending was elongated into something that Spielberg was hoping would make people shed a tear.

A.I. has some interested ideas and some nice special effects, but the material was simply not in Spielberg's taste. The themes and subject matter was Kubrick, the images and stlye was Spielberg. Do they work together? In my opinion no, but it was an interesting mix, I'll say that. A.I. fails to deliver in my opinion and is a bore to watch. Is it a coincidence this was Osment's real last big film? Second Hand Lions was his attempt to try and come back but it obviously didn't work.

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Day 112: August 20th, 2010

The Human Centipede

100% Medically Accurate.

So when I got the chance to see The Human Centipede at the Toronto After Dark Film Festival, I jumped at the chance. It was the closing gala night film (what else would close?) I think the theatre helped make the experience of this film better than watching it alone.

The title and trailer made this film the hype sensation it was and the most talked about horror film of the year. Can a film live up to such a bizarre and disgusting premise? The answer is yes and no. The film does deliver on what it promises, a human centipede and it has some good laughs in it. I found the film to be a comedy more than a horror. Although, with every positive, there is a negative and the film doesn't go FAR ENOUGH!!! What!!?!?!?!?! Is he serious? Yes, I am.

With a film like this, one that has generated such a considerable amount of buzz about how grotesque the subject matter is, you would expect the film to be pretty disgusting. The Human Centipede is not disgusting. First of all, it's all imagination. The film has one scene that might get people gagging a bit, but I expected more than half of the film to be like that. It's not. The director Tom Six seems to have let the concept get the best of him and thought to himself that this concept alone will make a entertaining film. The answer is unfortunately no. A concept does not make a film.

I don't applaud Tom Six, I applaud the two actresses who had to 'act' 3/4 of the film in the centipede position. The film tries to build some suspense but it's pretty hard when you have three people moving at a snails pace around a house. The film has it's funny moments, which are all primarily given by the mad doctor, the brilliant Dieter Laser. He knows he's in a crappy film and he plays up the role beyond hilarity and over the top cheese.

The Human Centipede is a horror film that is weak on the horror and would rather rely on a concept that try to say something about modern horror or anything for that matter. Characters do stupid things, the 'horror' is hidden and makes you think about the disgustingness rather than show it. The Human Centipede follows with a few words (The First Sequence). So expect a sequel, especially since the film was such a huge thing.

The film got so much buzz over the concept alone. There was hardly any chance that the film would be able to match it. So a lot of people will be setting themselves up for disappointment. It is a great concept, otherwise people wouldn't be talking about it, but the film on the other hand falls a little short.

Well, at the screening they asked for some people to demonstrate the human centipede. Once a guy saw that two females were on stage, he ran up there. He was also asian, coincidence? Before the movie started they also told us that the tagline they used was correct. Is this really 100% medically accurate? Who knows, I hope not.

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Day 113: August 21st, 2010

Piranha 3D

Boobs, Blood and Doc Brown.

An underwater tremor unleashes thousands of hungry Piranha that have thought to have been extinct for millions of years. Bad timing, because it's Spring Break.

Piranha was, what some people called, a rip off of Jaws. Another person wanting a piece of the pie. It went on to have a sequel, to be directed by the now famous James Cameron and it seems that it is time for a remake, in 3D no less. Do we need a remake? Probably not, but the film is fun and excessively violent, which makes for a good time for those looking for b- movie horror goodness. Piranha delivers on the levels it aims for, take that as you want to.

Alexandre Aja directs this film, let's just forget he did Mirrors okay? He gets the bloody mess off to an interesting start by having Richard Dreyfuss in the film. A nod to Jaws no doubt, but one can only assume that he had him in here to say that this film is either a: More scarier or B: More dangerous. I'd go with the latter because the film isn't scary. What's more dangerous though? One shark, or thousands of Piranhas? You pick.

So it's Spring Break, so the fish have hundreds of young drunk teenagers to eat, and boy do they eat. The film doesn't shy away from the bloody truth. Piranha's can strip a cow to it's bones in minutes, these guys are more aggressive. They've been feeding off each other for millions of years and now they have a variety of meat to pick from. Yummy. So people die in bloody, over the top, funny ways. The film is one for the people who cheer when someone has their legs torn off. If that's not you, you might want to stay away from this one.

Also, if you're not a fan of naked women, you might want to stay away from this one. This film is full of naked women, left right and centre. There is even an underwater naked swimming dance sequence set to opera music. It's weird and funny at the same time because it comes out of nowhere.

The film could have used more of it's cast. We have Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd and Eli Roth. All of them are underused. Rhames, I thought was going to have a more hero type role, he doesn't. Roth has a total of maybe two scenes as does Lloyd. Dreyfuss only shows up at the beginning of the film. Once again, an interesting cast that is not put to good use. The film decides to stick with the blood and boobs.

The film is in 3D. I expected to have more fun with it than I did. Although I did enjoy it more than other 3D films I've seen. It has a more gimmicky feel to it and it actually fits with the film. Seeing bits of Piranha fly up at you is fun. Boobs in 3D, fish in 3D but the things that were used the most were the underwater coral reefs.

The theatre lost power near the end, so the last 3 or so minutes of the film we saw with no sound, but I could tell what was going to happen, even with the lack of audio. I'm not letting that affect my review for the film, but I can sense that the film was going to go for one of those jump-scare-abrupt endings.

Piranha 3D is a hoot, for those who know what they are getting into. In my theatre there were children, this is NOT A KIDS MOVIE!!!! This is more bloody and violent than any SAW film. Piranha is full of cheesy moments, and it works.

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
I guess I read this someplace else a few weeks ago?
You're quite the detective.

You can also expect to see similar reviews of A Serbian Film, The Town and Machete.

You get a lollipop.

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Day 114: August 22nd, 2010

Stranger Than Fiction

Harold Crick Is About To Die...

I like the idea behind this film. It has enough quirkiness to it to make it likable. Add the fact that Will Ferrell is playing a somewhat straighter role than his over the top performances that came before and some clever direction and you have a successful film. Stranger Than Fiction is a successful film that is lighthearted and smart.

Zack Helm penned the screenplay and much attention came his way immediately. He followed it up with the child friendly and little too cute Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, desperately trying to get a memorable character out there. Since then he has been under the radar. Fiction is his first major film and it seems fresh. The idea isn't all that original, but the film spins it enough ways to make it seem so.

Stranger Than Fiction is a fantasy film that will leave you smiling. It's something outside Will Ferrell's comfort zone, but he makes it look easy. I wouldn't mind seeing him in a couple more roles like this. A touch of humour here and there, but nothing like Ron Burgundy.

Stranger Than Fiction stands as one of those films that when people talk about it, they usually say they liked it. Not a film that people fall in love with, but a good film nonetheless.

28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
Day 115: August 23rd, 2010

A Serbian Film

A poor man's attempt at shock value fails as the film that goes over the edge has no real purpose.

He can say whatever he wants re: his reasons behind the film, but it lacks any sense of human decency. If you want to see this film because so many people are hyping it up based on the controversy, I'd recommend not to. I'm one to always watch a film if it's ticked enough people off. Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox were two of them, I Spit On Your Grave was another. Yet those films are bound by the genre they represent themselves in. Exploitation and Revenge horror. A Serbian Film doesn't fall under these categories. I would suspect that Nicolas Cage would find this film on his quest in 8mm.

Rape, Murder By Penis, Incest, Child Molestation, Necrophilia, etc...these things do not make for a good film, or someone wanting to tell a good story. It's simply someone who wants to take you into a world where these things happen and then excessively push you deeper into a hyper realized madness.

The newborn baby scene wasn't as bad as I expected. Had I gone in not knowing it was going to happen, I might have cringed more. Plot points were predictable, specifically everything that happens in the climax. The actors were mediocre at best. The direction showed some potential, but the subject matter cheapens it, specifically when he also wrote it.

We all know Serbia is a messed up place, but we don't need to sit through an agonizing film that drags on and on about the so called atrocities. Even if that was the intention of the filmmaker, which I honestly think it wasn't. He is quotes as saying "This is a diary of our own molestation by the Serbian government...It's about the monolithic power of leaders who hypnotize you to do things you don't want to do. You have to feel the violence to know what it's about." Cue my eyes rolling.

As the film ended I was left sitting there thinking to myself, sure some scenes were disturbing, but at the same time they felt empty. The obvious going for shock value loses some of it's appeal as the filmmakers try too hard to push buttons. I'm not saying they don't, they undoubtedly do. This is a film I don't recommend to anyone, not even those looking for something shocking. Not because it's too much to handle, but because it's simply a bad film.

I'll give credit to those who humiliated themselves taking part in this, being an actor is hard. Do they filmmakers have balls for creating this film? Yes and no. For me, I'm fine sticking with Cannibal Holocaust and yes I still want to see Salo. If you want to watch a film that is hard to stomach, so see Martyrs.