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Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

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Juno (2 viewings)

This is a movie generated by it's performances , everyone is great - but it feels light as feather throughout the entire thing. Even if the themes it tries to explore are some of the most vast of all.

It's about a 16 year old girl (Juno) who gets pregnant and decides to give birth to the child and give it away to some deserving parents. She finds a couple in the newspaper and gets to know them , trying to decide if they are the right ones. The story rarely deviates from the fact that she's having a baby , it's obviously the top priority here and nothing else really happens outside of that.

Ellen Page plays Juno , who constantly oversteps boundaries of comfort for everyone - crafting a likable character as well a constant awkwardness all the time. In full glance you realize this whole movie is really perpetuated by it's uncomfortable atmosphere , which can provide for some really funny scenes and a lot of annoyance.

My review probably won't stop you from seeing this because of it's very massive appeal that extends to the Academy Awards , but I feel it's a step down from the more mature Thank You For Smoking. Reitman is still very fresh into his career though so who knows , recently he directed two episodes of The Office (which is much more welcome awkwardness).


28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds
The main gripe people have with this film is the script. Which is funny considering it wont an Oscar for Original Screenplay.

I thought the direction was really good and of course as you said the performances were great as well.

A better film then a
that is for sure.
"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have."

Suspect's Reviews

Escape From New York (2 views)

While the idea behind Escape From New York could be the start of something grand - the movie that follows isn't all it promises to be.

Snake Pliskin (Kurt Russel) is given a chance to get out of jail if he can save the president from the giant prison which is New York. Fortunately Snake is the ultimate bad-ass and can kill everybody and do a bunch of crazy **** : like land an airplane atop one of the twin towers. It really gets interesting when he enters the story , but once he's launched into his mission the movie begins a downward spiral.

Snake discovers several different areas in the huge jail and eventually gets up to the big guys - who run the place. Everything seems out of place , from the upbeat synthesizer soundtrack - to the vibrantly lit sets : it's hard to be sure if this is a disco club or an anarchic wasteland. If you haven't lost all interest in the characters near the end , congratulations. You just might enjoy this movie.

Unfortunately for me , I was disappointed to see such a cool premise and a cool character go to waste in this weird 80's apocalypse. Then again , the Metal Gear Solid character based on him - has become much bigger than this Snake ever will.

Well, I'm not so sure that the movie really promises to be anything other than some serious 80's cheese. I can certainly understand your complaints though. Its not a great movie. It has a pretty serious cult following however, that which I'm sure you'll be hearing from shortly I imagine.

It did have some pretty great lines in it though didn't it? And Adrienne Barbeau... and her lovely cans.

We are both the source of the problem and the solution, yet we do not see ourselves in this light...

Welcome to the human race...
Even though I'm an Escape fan, for the most part I can't fault his arguments for his opinion. I do notice that you cite "not caring for the characters" as a fault for the movie. Virtually all of the characters are unlikeable (I even dislike Snake to a degree) and therefore not really worth caring for, but the point is to watch them continue on a journey to a decidedly bitter end for everybody. There's a surprising amount of complexity to Escape that is sorely missing from the Metal Gear Solid series (mainly because Snake is made easier to sympathise with). The fact that we're pretty much cheering for Plissken, a dangerous criminal who's really not that much better a person than the population of Manhattan and really only acts out of a will to live or make trouble for the system, makes it more of a challenge to cheer for him than Solid Snake, who's more of a conventional good guy.

Also, watch Escape From L.A. and tell us with a straight face you prefer it to Escape From New York.
I really just want you all angry and confused the whole time.
Iro's Top 100 Movies v3.0

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (1 view)

Fincher's enormous attempt to capture the entire lifespan of one man , falls short in so many ways. It's easy on the eyes , but for me just seems like a series of half thought out idea after another.

For a movie 3 hours in length , there really isn't a whole lot here. I should start with Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt) himself. The film does so little to attach you to him and what he sees , instead it just focuses on showing you the actual things that happened. Where's the emotion ? Benjamin Button just becomes tedious after awhile and the more I anticipate some big emotional payoff - the more I'm let down the further it goes.

The performances didn't feel anywhere close to real for me. In a big way it's to the fault of the script. Everyone in this movie at one time or another succumb to a horribly flat decision : which try to persuade you that life is utterly simplistic. All this sad stuff happens throughout , but I never really felt sad for anyone because the movie tries to introduce as many characters possible within this time frame. I enjoyed how it followed two different time periods at once , it was easily the best thing about the movie - but it wasn't enough.

One things this movie gets done right are the jaw dropping visuals. Benjamin himself is pretty much all CGI for a time being and he blends in very well with the real people. Then he starts turning into Brad Pitt in heavy makeup , which is very genuine. Even though I hate how many characters it introduces , one cool thing is how each of them ages. The cinematography is incredibly well done and will most likely go on to win the oscar for it.

All in all it's long enough to be a true marvel , but it wastes the time given and fails to grip me to the characters - it's a big flashy show that I can see through. It might look a whole lot better if Synecdoche New York which just came out , didn't do a similar thing much more creatively and better.

Here's some more quick reviews of what I've been watching

The first DVD that came out for this was a disaster , it looked like garbage. Luckily , Netflix carried the new special edition which is much more clear. As for the movie itself , it's easily Eastwoods best film that he directed - maybe even the best he's acted in. Unforgiven is a brutal character driven western , that has you rooting for the bad guys.

On my second viewing of the Coen's latest comedy - I didn't appreciate it more on the this viewing , but liked it less. It tries to work as a suspense/comedy and is really shallow in both ends. Still , it's not a terrible movie - just small.

It's directed with a ton of flair and style , it looks great - there's a lot of focus on the characters : but what it's missing is a solid story to tie all these things together. It's one of those movies that is really fun on the first viewing - so go check it out at least once.

MXC is just clips of Takeshi's Castle , split up and made incoherent with dumb commentary. Luckily you get one episode of the original Takeshi's Castle , with subtitles. The original show is one of the most original and hillarious things ever - it starts with about 200 contenstants who all have to pass this gigantic obstacle course to get to Takeshi himself. Then if they can beat him in this crazy combination of bumper cars and laser tag - they win ! The american show ruins the entire idea , cuts an hour long show into 20 minutes - and is just no fun at all.

DVD Rating
- Too much to pay for only one actual episode. I really wish they would just subtitle all the original episodes.

I actually turned this cheeseball samurai movie off half way in. Unless you're looking for a good laugh - pass on this one.

Welcome to the human race...
My agreement with your opinion on Snatch is cancelled by the fact that you dislike MXC. I watched Takeshi's Castle religiously on TV a few years back, in its original format except trimmed to half an hour, given fake subtitles more often than not, and hosted by a pair of Big Brother contestants and a transvestite geisha. MXC, on the other hand, is far more worthy of laughs than the original show. Not only do they maintain the best of the obstacle course itself (not to mention the various crazy interludes starring the show's cast of colourful characters), but they also dub in some hilariously stupid voices (it's probably the best example of re-dubbing out there - at least it's not as piss-poor as the voices on Funniest Home Videos)

Well MXC might be better than the version you were watching (most likely the UK version) - neither of them are anything close to the actual Japanese version.

On the MXC Season 1 DVD - you can watch one of the original Japanese episodes with the skits between the challenges (which I found way more funny than any of the american commentaries). In the Japanese version they also have more focus on the theme that people are storming his castle. Takeshi explains in the skits his traps and tricks to make sure no-one gets to him. You really gotta check it out , I doubt you'll go back to MXC once you see it.

Welcome to the human race...
For the record, the UK edition of Takeshi's Castle was hosted by Craig Charles of Red Dwarf fame. I'm talking about the short-lived Australian edition. Having said that, I probably won't get around to checking out the original Japanese version because MXC isn't even available on DVD and I really don't care enough to find the originals when I pretty much get the best parts in MXC.

Rain Man (1 viewing)

This is a movie I've been wanting to see for awhile now and even though I was expecting the world of it , it caught me off guard. It's wise , funny , and crafts two really unique characters who just happen to have two amazing acting performances behind them.

Right away this movie reminded me of Takeshi Kitano's films , in it's choice of music and wide camera shots. It's a movie that any director would be proud of and it just so happens to be Barry Levinson who I have never even heard of until this. Anyway , the movie is about this guy (Tom Cruise) who doesn't really value human relationships nearly as much as money. When he hears his father has died , he goes to collect what his dad left him : assumably everything being the only child of a widower. He finds that his father actually gave all of his money (3 million to be exact) to someone else. Charlie (ya know Cruise) finds out that the person to receive this money is his autistic brother , whome he's never met. So Charlie basically kidnaps his brother from his home (an institution) and tries to get his share of the loot by offering to return him.

There's a lot more to it than that , but I don't want to ruin the movie for you. Dustin Hoffman plays such a realistic portrayal of a genius with brain dysfunction and Cruise plays his character who had no family really - two of these amazing perfomances collide and blend together. As I said before , it's also shot very well - my only real complaint against this film is that is reuses the scene of Raymond's (Hoffman) paranoia about 3 or 4 times.

If you haven't already , it's about time you see Rain Man.

Will your system be alright, when you dream of home tonight?
Thanks, it's bumped up in my Queue.
I used to be addicted to crystal meth, now I'm just addicted to Breaking Bad.
Originally Posted by Yoda
If I were buying a laser gun I'd definitely take the XF-3800 before I took the "Pew Pew Pew Fun Gun."