Review This, by thmilin, inc.

that was a damn enjoyable read. thanks for that! i agree with a lot of what you said, i really actually enjoyed Silent Hill on the whole but was disappointed or annoyed with some of the intentions. great review!!

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letterboxd

"In the original script, there were only female characters. After submitting this, the script was returned to Gans with a memo saying "there are no men!". Sean Bean's character was added and the script was approved."

Studio.

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"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have."

Suspect's Reviews

thanks ash!

ew. if that's the reasoning then it's sexist and stupid! i thought mebbe they were just thinking of the original. blah.

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life without movies is like cereal without milk. possible, but disgusting. but not nearly as bad as cereal with water. don't lie. I know you've done it.

Stick It
Rating: *** (out of 5)

Director: Jessica Bendinger
Cast:
Jeff Bridges .... Burt Vickerman
Missy Peregrym .... Haley Graham
Vanessa Lengies .... Joanne Charis

Synopsis from Yahoo Movies:
The Nutshell

A good "Bend It Like Beckham"-esque bit of sportsgirl fluff that quivers on the verge of finding heart but ends up slightly more on the silly and sappy side. A girl can be a bad@ss, and manage to be both without any tears involved. However, this piece had to make it out like the heroine became a testosterone driven creature out of social suffering and misparenting, versus just having always craved to do things her way and having a vision that is true to herself and her personality. Because of this, it leans toward a 2.75 but because the lead plays her character spot on, and it is fluff, I allow it to be a 3. I got what I wanted out of it.

The Review

Notice something funny about the image below? The lead's name isn't on it ...



Anyhoo, Jeff Bridges is notable, charming, and earns his paycheck (making the movie, anyway, but his character is a little bit of a lying moneygrubber). The real star is the sportsmanship in the film, which showcases bike tricks on ramps, petty vandalism, all forms of gymnastics, and olympic-level gossip-fights.

Next to that all stands Missy, playing Haley, a militant teen who is clearly an adult versus all the other short folk she plays along with on the screen. Add to that that she was once supposed to have been a gymnast and you find it a little hard to believe that she's managed to have a huge growth spurt that includes breasts and long limbs, but whatever, she manages to do all the stuff she has to do athletically and is impressive while also managing to act. I'm not going to say she's a Hilary Swank cuz, come on, this is a teen flick.

It was fun to watch her bad mouth the prissy princesses which I would have loved to do in elementary and high school but instead I just outranked them with my GPA and graduated college early. Anyhoo, she is flippant, irreverent, difficult, hotheaded, stubborn, yada yada - oh, how SO like a boy (cuz you know, only boys are that way). She has apparently had multiple run ins with the law and you think she's a bad@ss until you realize her parents are rich and instead of sending her to juvy (where she wants to go) she's going to ... I forget the acronym, but some olympic training ground for hopeful gymnasts with rich parents.

Herein lies the core problem I had with the flick. There's the requisite "no one understands me so I'll just be awful" plotline, then "i have discovered a coach who understands and believes in me" plotline, then "despite my parents and all the b|tchy little girls who rag on me all the time for who and what i am I shall prove myself to the world as skilled in this sport in the way I want to show it." Which is all fine. But they don't really deal with the parents and they don't really deal with this girl's true issues. And in the end you don't really get to see her prove anything cuz it turns into a "gymnasts fighting the stupidity of the sport and its antiquated rules" plot.

Basically Haley's parents are divorced, her stage mom mother uses her for her own egotistical glory, her father apparently used to be wonderful and now just can't stand her or deal with her, and now she just breaks the law cuz it's the only thing she knows how to do to "get away." Then later you discover there are some underlying issues, and by the time it all wraps you up you're not really sure why they were introduced because they certainly weren't addressed. Instead we get gymnasts in leotards tossing drinks on each other, sniping under their breath, doing hiphop on the balance beam to spite the championship judges, and girls throwing out the rocker sign as if they really know what they're doing.

But, it's all fun and games. I think that was the problem, the arena for the fun and games was built on a girl's troubles, and the troubles themselves are entirely glossed over. So I had the fun but sorta felt annoyed, like, you could have at least resolved that or never introduced it at all. What about her dad? How's that gonna work out? What about her mom? If she's such a defiant, truthful little brat who talks back in the face of authority, why isn't she telling her mother off and stating her case? Just a bit messy.

But, like I said, some fun. I like sports flicks that really create the excitement of a competition and the drive and adrenaline of feats of skill and strength. Ironic, because I can't stand watching that stuff for real, but in a movie it's sooo much more interesting. Eheheh. So, yes, you get to watch people flipping around in the air and landing floor programs, vaulting around, etc.

Cute, fun, fell seriously short on issues it raised on its own (which is dumb, in my book). If you want to feel a little rush and cheer on a female kicking butt in a sport (note, however, that it's not a male sport), you can enjoy Missy doing a wonderful job of creating that energy and drive for you to live through. She's very human about it, too.

In real life our lead actress, Missy, is a sports junkie (see IMDB bio) and beyond her broad shoulders and wide slung jaw, she's believable as a sportsman (perhaps not a gymnast, but she holds her own). All they needed was an athletic babe who gets off on sports violence and just rolling with it, as seen during the ice bath below:

The Promise
Rating: ***.5

Director: Chen Kaige
Cast:
Dong-Kun Jang .... Kunlun (hero, the slave)
Hiroyuki Sanada .... General Guangming (subhero, the general)
Cecilia Cheung .... Princess Qingcheng (heroine, concubine)
Nicholas Tse .... Wuhuan (bad guy, the Duke)
Ye Liu .... Snow Wolf (assassin slave of the Duke, countryman of Kunlun)
Hong Chen .... Goddess Manshen
Cheng Qian .... The Emperor

Yahoo Movies Synopsis:


The Nutshell

Note the cast and the notes I put there for who's who. This is a fable, or a parable, however you want to take it. It's about choices, fate, conflict, jealousy, selfishness, hopes, dreams, greed, trust and doubt. It is over the top, beautiful, full of itself, and epic.

A starving peasant girl steals food from corpses to survive and encounters an arrogant young boy who's father has been slain on the field. He demands that she be his slave and he'll surrender the food she's tried to steal. She agrees, then hurts him and runs off to feed her starving mother. She is intercepted by the Goddess who informs her her mother is dead and she'll offer the girl a choice - great beauty and in return for it all the worlds riches, as long as she's willing to never keep any man she truly loves. She agrees, and we fast forward.

The rest is a mix of mistaken identity and "kidnapping the girl." Our peasant girl has become the cocky and bitter Princess, who is kept by the Emperor. The Duke sets his assassin after the Emperor's head general to eliminate any obstructions, and pursues the Emperor, hoping to capture the Princess. The Duke is the ultimate anime villain - sexyhot, feminine, and skilled with sharp things. The Emperor is quickly written out of the story, and the Princess is saved from the Duke by whom she believes is the General.



Instead, the General lays wounded in the forest by the assassin Snow Wolf, and his trusty slave Kunlun has saved her, dressed in the General's armor. The pair run from the Duke, have a fateful moment on the run, fall in love, and are separated. The Princess is caged, and thus begins the back and forth across seasons and personal journeys that culminates in a battle between Kunlun, the General he respects and serves, and the vengeful Duke -- all for the love of this woman.

It's beautiful and complicated, preposterous and lyrical, funny and expansive, sometimes silly but always, always striking to see. In the end, it is a fable, a fairy tale, and not meant to be taken too seriously. It explores honor, duty, faith, things we of course have trouble really getting in the west sometimes - what people will do for it, how much it means.

Fable is meant only to make you think about what you would do in the same situation, or to think about why people do the stupid, selfish things they do. It is meant to touch you with the power of emotion, and pluck a chord with each image. Half the things in fairy tales don't make sense, but they don't have to, and they're not supposed to. They are told with all the intensity and strange coincidence of dreams, and are as powerful and provocative.

I just read Ebert's review and he tears this movie up, as if it was supposed to be a thesis or something. I think it served its purpose, and while it wasn't perfect, it was beautiful and did its job.

There are some moments that can be seen as wondrous or cheesy. Yes the CGI leaves much to be desired but the point is to literally create, in living, breathing blinding lushness, the images painted in songs and stories, on tapestries, hand painted on a kimono or a gown, built by thousands of hands into some magnificent building. The reason we watch film is because it transports us. This entire film is about transportation - to and away from love, that which you think is love or the one you love, to and away from your past, to and away from yourself, to and away from your enemy.

It is also about beauty - what you think is beauty, what you believe is beautiful. All these men fight for one woman who agreed to be beautiful and live off the riches of others in exchange. But the movie is called "The Promise." Where is the promise? Is it the promise she gave the Goddess, to agree and live the life she wanted but always lose the man she loves? Or was it the promise she gave the little boy, to be his slave, before she ran away with stolen bread?

Understandably she was a child, but the person we see her become - is she truly beautiful? Is she truly worth loving? Or is she as selfish and self-serving as the men? Even though she is being fought for and passed along between them, she is quick to turn her back on one unless she believes he will serve her or protect her. She is also happy to live off their wallets and kindness. As long as she can create an ideal in her mind (of rescue and grand love) she'll declare loyalty to the General. What kind of beauty is that?

An all-too-human kind. There is a grand orchestration in the story that follows our characters, and no one is completely good but Kunlun, the slave who clearly gives his life and wants over to someone else. To the bitter end, he does it, and one wonders if it was worth it, all he's done, because who knows what will happen down the road for him and the Princess.


Anyhoo, for the richness of story, the extravagance and the soaring emotionality of it, I say it's worth watching. No, it's no "Farewell, My Concubine" but sheesh, don't kick it to the curb. I would say that the ending is a bit unfinished ... they rushed through it as though they'd neatly tied up all the loose ends but they actually hadn't. But you can make up whatever little twist on it you need to to call it case closed. The movie is, after all, about interpretation.

Thanks mili for your interesting reviews

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha

The Break-Up

Rating: ** (out of 5)

Synopsis from Yahoo Movies:
The Review



As much as I love Vince Vaughn, this movie sucked bupkis. It calls itself a comedy but there was so much real pain and angst that it was more like a family drama with a little comedy thrown in - that fell flat more often than not, just wasn't funny, or wasn't funny enough.

I'd actually watched Just Friends earlier in the day on DVD then gone to see this and it was a ruler that helped me pick out the missing pieces that would have made this movie funny.

The gist of this flick is that Vince is stuck in his ways and oblivious to others needs or feelings. You see that when he meets Brooke - he pushes himself on her and won't stop until he charms her out of her current dating scene and into a relationship. Then you get a huge montage over the credits of the two of them in day to day life, scenes of kissing and hugging, posing and laughing, where they're getting along with all their friends and each other like bees and flowers. All's good in the world.



The movie opens, you see her performing her job at an art gallery, and him out during his day running Chicago tours - a core difference in them shows a lack of appreciation for art and the finer things in life on his end, and a beautiful home that she has built, upkept, and overseen for the length of their time together. Gary wants a pool table, and she argues with him that it's not appropriate or right to have in a place so small. You can tell Gary doesn't give a damn about art, but that Brooke has time and again compromised on her own interests to share time with Gary doing the things he likes to do - bowling, going to Cubs games, down home sorta stuff. They don't go to plays or opera, or the ballet, or eat fancy dinners out - they don't do anything together any more that isn't something he wants to do. They don't go to movies, to the park, or travel on romantic trips - it's like they've been married, and the bloom has faded. Brooke spends her time cleaning up after Gary, nagging him constantly, because she's not happy and wants a change. Gary doesn't see anything wrong with himself or the relationship, and wants her to quit nagging him and let him be.

They have a big fight - and Brooke throws the gauntlet down - I can't do this any more. She doesn't discuss it, however, or explain, she just leaves the room. Gary only hears that they've broken up, and makes no effort to change it or ask why or fix what's broken. We have no idea why, and from the outset, because we don't have a true sense of love that USED to exist between these people (a montage is simply not enough) we do not buy what happens later or care as much as we'd need to to make this movie work.

As the movie progresses, you see each side of Brooke and Gary's families and friends, who watch wide-eyed and awkward as the two snipe at each other in restrained tones until they get to the point of yelling and verbally attacking each other. They split their friends up, and everyone's in the middle of a war zone with them.



It becomes painful and exceedingly too real - Brooke's best friend is tired and put upon and disappointed in Brooke's choices as she tries to get Gary to change and come back to her and the relationship as a new man. Brooke forges on, desperately thinking up ruses and tricks to make Gary feel like he's losing someone amazing and clean hs act up. Gary retaliates, and their acts, trivial and amusing and perplexing at first, become extremely cruel and deliberate, and painfully real - at one point Gary throws a poker party at home that crosses all boundaries. At this point you know the movie is way off the comedy scale and deep into drama.

Only when Brooke breaks down toward the end of the film does she seem to get what she's done wrong, and does he seem to get how badly he's hurt her and the relationship. The film has spiraled so far down into hell though that it doesn't matter if it takes the following stand - Gary is actually at fault as his friends admit to him that Brooke is trying to fix key parts of his personality that everyone who knew him before her knew he'd never change. Shocked, Gary takes stock and tries with way too little too late to do what Brooke was trying to get him to do - but she's done, realizing that she doesn't have the energy any more to do all the work. This whole movie was her fighting cruelly and pettily for something he couldn't bring himself to fight for, too.

And who the hell wants to watch that? This is the core problem with the movie - if it's going to be a drama, then people have to mutually learn lessons, talk through things thoroughly (outside of the fighting, with friends and family), and grow and change. Brooke did not seem to grow and change, only grow tired and fed up. Which was not fun to watch.



Gary didn't actually seem to get anything until way too late and as it's shown in the film he does some basic tasks as though that's going to be all that's needed to fix what's integrally wrong with him - quick fixes won't do it. If you're a drama, you know that. You also know that if this is drama and real, then Brooke would never have moved in and bought a condo with a man who doesn't make overtures and compromises out of love for her, who makes it all about him and discounts and disrespects her. You know that she would have seen that coming from a mile away and wouldn't have gotten in that deep in the first place. You also know that Gary wouldn't have gotten in that deep with a woman so anal and Type A who doesn't leave him alone when he gets home and isn't all uptight about having table centerpieces for family dinners.

And if you're a comedy, you would NOT EVEN HAVE TAKEN IT THERE. That's what was so painful and annoying. Why are you going to drag me into this dark hole in the first place? You want us to relate and laugh, not suffer and squirm. If you're going to have friends and family involved let them be over the top, let them interact, let them take the pressure off so we're no longer squirming. Instead, there's one goofy brother who wasn't even that funny. There's Gary's best friend who switches from funny to unfunny, and even Vince is taking it way too seriously. The supporting cast needed to do more, and Vince and Jennifer just kept missing it - the whole movie seemed an example of bad timing and lessons NOT learned (plot wise) and it was demonstrated by the acting and the script - Jennifer and Vince keep trying to be funny when they aren't, and not being funny when they should.

As shown in Just Friends sometimes you need the zany and wacky to help bring out that positive chemistry that makes the audience relax and flow with your film, enjoy it and relate to it. This film keeps dragging you deeper and deeper into the suffering of two people, until all you can think is - BREAK UP ALREADY AND LEAVE. You stop caring whether they work it out, you just don't want to watch them fight any more! What kind of comedy is that? It's not that you hate Brooke and Gary, it's that they are TOO REAL and you don't want to watch two real people fight, you don't want to be in the same position as their friends and family sitting helplessly by watching something fall apart, and fall apart nastily.

I'd frankly recommend you not even watch this, folks. It was just badly put together, the director had no sense of what comedy really is, and didn't sell it, didn't hit the mark. There are some laughs, but they're far outweighed by negative or sometimes just awkward/boring scenes.

Hiya thmilin!

Always have dug your writing style as likely you know.

Interesting that you've happened to review films that I've yet to see. Helped me make up my mind on a few.

ciao!

ST

I will take your advice I really don't want to see a movie about a couple who get togeather because they are in love then it all goes sour because they settle down and find out that there has to be more than sex and good looks to hold them togeather I see it in my job all the time so i don't want to see it on the screen. Thanks

toose, thanks, glad to help!

it's not so much that they discover there has to be more than sex and good looks (when you see them meet and the montage of happy-ever-after, you don't, uh, think sexual chemistry). it's more like you don't really have a reason for why they loved each other to start with, and then you watch them get fed up and go too far with punishing the other for their unhappiness.

at least War of the Roses was like, a dark comedy. there was no real comedy to rescue this at all. booooo.

but yeah, don't see it! hehehe. that is, unless you like being miserable for 1.5 out of 2 hours.

Thanks for the review Thmilin. When my buddies want to go see something, this will be on the NOT recommended list. And I will say, "Trust me."

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Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons.....for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

awwww! *tear* thank you birdy!

thm, I enjoyed reading your review for The Break Up, but I have to say, i disagree on some of the major points you made. I think, that yes, while this movie was definitely not funny, made me squirm, and actually made me feel the raw pain that the characters Brooke and Gary were facing... i liked that. i liked that it was real, and not too over-the-top. am i crazy? maybe, probably.

although i'll admit, when i walked into the theater to see this movie i was expecting to see a comedy. i was expecting something more along the lines of Wedding Crashers, or Old School. and while i was surprised, it wasn't a rude surprise for me.

and the fact that they fell in love in the first place... people fall in love with people who turn into monsters... all the time. sometimes we don't show our true person to people until we already have them. we keep the nastiest parts of our personality hidden and well-protected from surface area... we all have our nasty bits, right? in the beginning of every relationship, its usually about having fun, there aren't any pressures just yet, i mean, you aren't squabbling about bills or... having twelve lemons for a stupid centerpeice, or pool tables in the dining room, for example. i am not saying... that is healthy... or wise... but it happens all the time with couples. Gary's character was charming (okay, at least i thought so, but its probably cause im a fan of Vaughn). it shows from their first scene when they met at the baseball game, he made her laugh. he's definitely a ladies man. he knows how to charm and schmooze the pants off people. Brooke was cute, sweet, and yes, a tad anal, but her heart always seemed to be in the right place.

you know the more i think about it, the more i think about how much of an emotional rollercoaster i have been on the past few months and maybe this movie hit so close to home with my own emotions, i was able to really appreciate and run alongside each character in their struggle. the way certain scenes were shot, this movie kind of grabbed at my emotional strings from the get-go. and while it was cheesy and depressing as hell, i still really enjoyed it.

thanks ash, for sharing. yeah, i'd say mileage may vary. maybe i just found it hard to relate. i actually found Gary very charming - when he wasn't with Brooke. I found Brooke very lovable and likeable - when she wasn't with Gary.

The thing is that I agree with you - I know people hide many aspects of themselves that come out later in a relationship. The thing is, if the story is pushed as a comedy, and then you show two people turn ugly, but you never actually saw them FALL in lve, do you want to see that? (I don't count Gary pressuring a woman already on a date into dating him as a "fall in love" moment)

I didn't, but clearly, you could relate, so it was ok for you to watch. If I had seen these two really, truly fall in love, versus a montage of pictures that were supposed to prove they had, then I would have really truly been caught up in it and cared way more than I did with this version. This version made me really impatient and uncomfortable and annoyed by the time I was done.

I just didn't buy the love factor being there in the first place. You can't show someone walk up to a plot of dirt and hold a seed, thinking about planting it, then jump cut to showing someone bulldozing or chopping up the tree later, and expect me to get emotional and care that you're destroying it. I never saw you plant the seed, check on it lovingly, water it, tenderly care for it for years before it became the big tree.

hope that makes sense.

if this had been a movie about the pain and the angst of learning someone you love may not be who you thought they were, or that you may become an ugly person if you're in a relationship that doesn't work for both you, i'd have been fine with this movie. they'd have had to change some things, and rework their plot and script, but I think that would have worked. they just packaged it all wrong, then delivered something else in the theater.

so that's why i'm miffed. again, i must underline that i adore vince vaughn. i like jennifer aniston. i tried really really hard to like this movie, i swear. i went in soooo hopeful. i definitely didn't want to hate it by choice.

ill agree with the false advertising... im thinking they had a hard time trying to sell Vaughn in any other role other than his Dodgeball and Wedding Crashers get-up that they wanted to pull in who they thought their target audience would be. i would have liked to see this movie roll out into the over-the-top comedy it could have been, but i still really dug the all-too-real and painful drama it ended up being... ahhh.... its the girl in me i suppose. (i let her out sometimes).

I have read what you both have had to say about the movie and its message, I could do without the "all too-real painful drama", i see it at work, I have been through it in my life, I want a laugh maybe it is just the mood I am in today or all week but it would be nice if a movie told how to have good relationships

i guess most people want to watch a bit of drama and sexual tension... or that could just be me?

I can't begin to tell you how much I agree with this. Hollywood has long been in the business of turning pain into dollars. In the early days, they showed the pain for what it was (ex: The Women), and often showed people working through the consequences of bad choices and growing (ex: Gone with the Wind). But in the 60's, they started making films that glamorized selfish short-sightedness, maybe with a nod at the end to the mess that was made (ex: Jules et Jim). And any more, it seems like the mentality is to just show people at their most vicious, but looking oh-so-beautiful, packaging drama to the young and naive as if it was just how life is. Makes me want to go live in a cave.

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Review: Cabin in the Woods 8/10

I know! It's just an ugly thing to watch and perpetuate. That doesn't make me feel good! That's why I couldn't really get into "War of the Roses" - I understood there were people out there like this, just like with this one.

Man I remember Jules et Jim . Boy do the French have a knack for awkward painfulness. But at least with them you feel you're learning something, even if you don't like it. Here in the US, I'm not learning anything, OR liking it.

And even when we get a "good" relationship, it's blown out of proportion (comedy where guy has to go through incredible things to get girl) or hyperidealized (the love shown is founded on unrealistic, cookie-cutter movie recipes).

i like the movies where the love hurts but the people learn and do right by each other in the end - whatever that "doing right" requires (ie, leaving each other rather than torturing each other, or fixing what's wrong so as to stop hurting each other).

THAT makes the girl in me tear up.

come back and review something. come back god damnit!