A scary thing happened on the way to the Movie Forums - Horrorcrammers

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Also, could someone help me make an avatar out of this picture ( https://i.pinimg.com/originals/03/05...fbf759f4e4.jpg ) so I can have a "face" here, and no one will confuse me with, say, MKS? I tried doing it myself, making it the proper dimensions and file size, but it didn't upload for some reason.
Here ya go:


I've temp changed my avatar so you can see if you still like it. Please let me know when I can change back to my Alice flamingo mallet




There is not much you can expect from a film you’ve likely watched more than a hundred times, even if it is The Exorcist. At this point it is a security blanket. I just need to know it is there in the room with me as I sleep: breathing heavily, a plume of mist rising from its rancid sleeping mouth, the words “Watch Me” appearing on its skin like gooseflesh if I ever need advice on how I should spend my night.

Over the years it has become as much a part of my sleeping habit as keeping my bedroom windows wide open, a trick I also learned directly from its teachings. How else could I ever expect to entice a better spirit inside to take over from my own deeply bored and unsatisfied soul. Maybe make me the kind of person capable of resisting this films clutches. Allow me some time away if only to remember what life might be like without it. Or, at the very least, just let me learn how to love it again.

The movie had become a problem. By the time I decided to rid myself of it we hardly had anything to say to each other anymore. Encased in a block of cement, it now rests at the bottom of a haunted lake, where for years I did my best not to think of it, even as it waited expectantly down there for my return. I imagine it has grown bitter and lonely. Become just angry enough to send a desperate message up to the surface, bursting out from its bubbles one word at a time: “Suck...cocks...in...Hell”. I know the words are meant for me but only the bullfrogs are there to hear it. And they croak in complete indifference.

At least such was the case for many years until just this past Halloween. I can now state that I have officially returned to The Exorcist. I don’t know exactly how long it has been since the last time I had seen it, but it seems as if it has aged just about perfectly, marinating in all of its hatred of me beneath the watery tomb I condemned it to. Everything was exactly as it should be. I played it loud. It was rude to my girlfriend. It did everything I expected of it, short of rearranging the furniture.

In many ways, the movie was exactly as I left it. The details of the story had obviously not changed and so there was no need to wave my handkerchief in surrender as heads began to turn, and crucifixes were plunged, and mothers got crotched. I knew from experience these moments only existed safely on screen. But what I seemed unprepared for, after its long silence in my life, was the enormity of the films ungodly sound design. Layer after layer of squealing and buzzing and thumping. Some of this noise we can locate the source of in frame. But the rest we might find ourselves suspecting is actually being transmitted from some evil place offscreen directly into our living room.

It is as we approach the climax, that the roar of the movie will hit like a sandblaster. It is shocking how furiously it pushes at the stitches that keep the films patina of realism from tearing open. It shakes the narrative to pieces until the whole thing shatters like glass. We are no longer simply a passive audience to the telling of a story but witnessing something escape from within it. Windows burst open, plaster cracks, straps are torn, skin is opened and vomit gallumphs all over the pillow. Portals are being opened. And as eyes roll into the back of the head, and levitation begins, the terrible silence that follows allows us to hear all sorts of noises in our walls, and behind our couch, and in the pulse of whoever we are watching it with.

The Exorcist is and always will be special. It comes closer to its audience than any other horror film of its generation. Or any that preceded or followed. This is its legacy. After it ends, it comes to live in your house with you. It’s in your room when you turn the lights off. It keeps you company when you drift off to sleep, whether you choose for it to be there or not. And, maybe if you’re friendly to it, keep it close, never let it out of sight, it can’t hurt you.

Unless, of course, it has a score to settle.




There's a new horror TV show on Hulu called Helstrom. It is passable, not great, but I enjoyed it well enough. The writing for one of the leads (the sister character) is straight-up awful at times, but the story was interesting enough to keep me hooked through the first season.



The election almost made me forget but the episode I directed of CHATEAU LUNE airs a rerun tonight at 8pm (about 30 mins from now) on nudu.tv. Check it out if you missed it!



There's a new horror TV show on Hulu called Helstrom. It is passable, not great, but I enjoyed it well enough. The writing for one of the leads (the sister character) is straight-up awful at times, but the story was interesting enough to keep me hooked through the first season.
My impression is they’re downplaying the connection, but this is a Marvel series based on the Son of Satan character from the comics. (Fun fact: Stan Lee’s original idea was to do a comic starring actual Satan, which, okay, Stan.)



My impression is they’re downplaying the connection, but this is a Marvel series based on the Son of Satan character from the comics. (Fun fact: Stan Lee’s original idea was to do a comic starring actual Satan, which, okay, Stan.)
Huh.

Well, I will give it points for some of the imagery. But it doesn't feel at all like an adaptation. But maybe that's because several elements are pretty derivative.



The election almost made me forget but the episode I directed of CHATEAU LUNE airs a rerun tonight at 8pm (about 30 mins from now) on nudu.tv. Check it out if you missed it!
I forgot to mention the other day that this is a really nice print of 13 Ghosts, by the way. I've seen lots of cruddy PD prints over the years. This is the best I've seen.
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I forgot to mention the other day that this is a really nice print of 13 Ghosts, by the way. I've seen lots of cruddy PD prints over the years. This is the best I've seen.
Absolutely! We were very pleased to get it. Especially since we touched on the Illusion O glasses a lot, as some are pure B&W and gags wouldn't have made sense.



Absolutely! We were very pleased to get it. Especially since we touched on the Illusion O glasses a lot, as some are pure B&W and gags wouldn't have made sense.
Yeah, come to think of it this is probably the first time I've seen the red 'n' blue bits in color.



Yeah, come to think of it this is probably the first time I've seen the red 'n' blue bits in color.
If you manage to fashion yourself an illusion-o with the proper same colored eyes, it is quite impressive how well the effect works. I held two pairs of normal 3D glasses to pull it off.



Here ya go:


I've temp changed my avatar so you can see if you still like it. Please let me know when I can change back to my Alice flamingo mallet
Thanks, Chyp! You can go ahead and take my "face... off" now (which is a dead giveaway as to what my next movie review is going to be, if you have any idea of how much of a John Woo fan I am, heh).

Oh, and great review of The Exorcist btw, crumb!



[shameless self promotion] Great! Now you can check out my latest podcast episode [/shameless self promotion]
I don't usually do podcasts, since I don't usually care to just listen to people talk, but I'll see if I can give your TCM ep a shot. Although, have you ever considered filming yourself speaking on camera while you record them? Because some people (like, well, me) find film discussion easier to pay attention when there's some sort of visual accompaniment, y'know?



And as eyes roll into the back of the head, and levitation begins, the terrible silence that follows allows us to hear all sorts of noises in our walls, and behind our couch, and in the pulse of whoever we are watching it with.
I think you've hit on something here that I could never articulate. In a film stuffed with unsettling things, that moment never fails to give me a chill.



Victim of The Night


A telling sign you are not watching a good movie is that your eyes begin to focus on the particles of dust floating in front of the screen. Then you pick crust off your cat's chin and throw it towards your television to mix things up. Then you double your usual THC dosage to see if you can imagine having heart palpitations. And you still aren’t having any fun.

I don’t know what really happened in this. It was hard to pay attention as I contemplated such thoughts as “Is that James Gandolfini? I know it isn’t, but let’s imagine it is for a second. What’s he doing in this awful movie? I should probably watch The Sopranos at some point. My feet are cold. Damn you, James Gandolfini! Fetch my slippers”

As it turns out, much of Prime Evil’s story will turn out to be told by the mouths of characters I wasn’t listening to. Somehow, I missed everything they were telling me about their allegiances to Satan and could hardly keep up with who was on Team Hell and who was on Team Priestly Virtue as the exposition dumps came with such frequency.

Sometimes I would actually get a glimpse of what was happening on screen around the sudden obstruction of my cat sitting in front of me. Chip eating at the gym. Middle aged men with side parted hair styles wearing glasses. Suspenders engaged in the age old struggle to keep up pants. Maybe some Satanists in hooded bathrobes. “But how ‘bout this ass”, purred my cat, looking back at me, confident I’d never seen anything quite like it. I shrugged in indifference. Such is the fate of someone who will clearly watch whatever is put in front of him

Then, just when we think nothing is ever going to happen, the Devil gets stabbed in the dick and the movie ends.

As the credits began to roll, I seemed only to have learned one thing here. Director Roberta Findlay is not nearly as infallible a director as her previous work would suggest. As a result my world has begun to cave in, its gravitational pull having turned against itself, leaving only a crumb shaped hole in the cosmos that others can one day stare at and contemplate “Why exactly am I staring at this”. Just as I once wondered on a similarly pointless night, watching the dust settle and waiting for my slippers to be retrieved any moment now.
This is one of the best movie reviews I've ever read. Roger Ebert's Ghost is experiencing professional jealousy.



Victim of The Night
Event Horizon is a vastly better movie than its reputaiton suggests, even without the, what, 15 minutes of gore? that are missing. The ending is not as silly as I remembered, and the only terrible thing in it is the goofy-ass sound effects during the last fight.
I'm glad to hear this, I haven't watched it in about ten years but I remember it just being a disaster.



You’re the disease, and I’m the cure.
I'm glad to hear this, I haven't watched it in about ten years but I remember it just being a disaster.
Still meaning to watch it. I'll take their word for it.
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“I really have to feel that I could make a difference in the movie, or I shouldn't be doing it.“
Joe Dante



Victim of The Night
I read that Tobe Hooper's intention was to make a kinda "dark horror comedy"*, as opposed to a full "horror" film, which might be why one can get that "dark humor" vibe from Franklin's character. But other than that, and perhaps the final dinner scene (in a bizarre, twisted way), I don't think that "dark humor" vibe got across that well. My point with Franklin is more to the fact that he doesn't seem to be written nor portrayed as an empathetic character. Not that he needs to be, but in a film with barely any emotional connection to any character, it seems like an odd choice.
This is an interesting point. I always thought of Franklin as being, intentionally, a guy in a wheelchair you just can't feel sorry for. I thought it was a choice and a much more interesting one than having him be the more obvious take on a disabled character. He sucks. The fact that he is disabled does not improve that nor make it ok. Like in real life as opposed to a movie. You will meet people you think you should feel sympathy for but they actually suck.