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GI Jane is pretty terrible.
In what way?
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Movie Reviews | Anime Reviews
Top 100 Action Movie Countdown (2015): List | Thread
"Well, at least your intentions behind the UTTERLY DEVASTATING FAULTS IN YOUR LOGIC are good." - Captain Steel





Enter The Dragon
Martial Arts Action / English / 1973

WHY'D I WATCH IT?
For the Action Movie Countdown.

I know no one's holding it against me, but I HOLD IT AGAINST MYSELF! I've never actually seen a Bruce Lee movie. Time to fix that.

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
"Guns. Why doesn't anyone just pull out a .45 and BANG, settle it?"

Cats, Dogs, Fish, Lobsters, Chickens, Parrots, Pigs, Snakes, Lions, Tigers, and Bears OH MY GOD STOP IT.

Oh Bruce Lee, ever the unheroic pragmatist. So now that I've finally seen a Bruce Lee movie what are my thoughts?

Not tremendously different from most martial arts movies I've seen. It opens with a fight scene which I feel is always a plus for these movies, but it easily takes half of the movie before Bruce really starts kicking some ass.

Until then the movie tries to ratchet up the stakes in about as transparent a story as you can get.

The villain has NOT only betrayed his temple,

he isn't even just the culprit that drove Bruce's sister to suicide,

but he's also a kidnapping martial arts master druglord with a prosthetic hand which can either be replaced with a custom bear claw or be used to menacingly stroke Mr. Bigglesworth.

The characters literally call him a cartoon in the movie and when he escapes through a secret rotating wall panel into a personal mirror maze I realized that description has never been more accurate.

Too bad they named him "Han", they could have named him "Mr. Evil", "Death McKill", or "Very Definitely Final Boss".



The dead sister backstory is a particularly baffling flashback in which she's walking with Bruce's mentor when they're confronted by Han and his thugs. Han approaches her, she beats him away, Mentor Guy knifes Sub Boss across the eye, and they inexplicably ignore him and chase after her during which she beats them into the ground repeatedly.

When they finally corner her, despite their unknown intentions and her proven ability to whoop their asses, she just gives up and stabs herself.

"DAMMIT. All I wanted to do was ask her out! WHY DO WOMEN ALWAYS KILL THEMSELVES WHEN I TRY TALKING TO THEM!?"

Naturally the biggest question is, how were the fights?

Nnnnn... They were okay. Nothing special. There are a couple cool moves here and there, but easily the best thing about any of them is simply how utterly insane Bruce Lee is, making his trademark yelping noises and baring the most hilarious messed up faces like there's a vice on his testicles and it tightens with every punch he delivers.



His general dialog is just funny too. He wanes between existential ******** about fighting and just generally not giving a ****. There's even one scene where some random guy on their boat walks up to him and asks to see his "fighting without fighting" style and he just says "Okay, but we need more room, why don't you get into this smaller boat and row over to that unknown island and we'll fight there?"

And sure enough the guy gets trapped on a sinking boat.

I think the best thing about Lee's dialog is his not-quite-fluent enunciation. Paired with his deadpan smirk, you get some great lines like "Mistah Ropah. Don't con ME."

Ultimately, it's pretty average, though I might've been willing to rate it higher had they not dragged half a zoo onto the ****ing set.


Final Verdict:
[Meh...]

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I get a feeling he doesn't quite have that opportunity he needs to really kick out and make a name for himself.
Besides Gypsy '83 and Kingdom Hospital (where he doesn't have that much screen time but does play an important role) everything else I've seen him in has just been small bit roles or side characters.

I haven't watched the episodes of Kingdom Hospital since they originally aired, and definitely need to watch it again, but at the time I liked it well enough. I was frustrated by how slow it was dealing with the more interesting plot elements, but it had enough intrigue to bring me back week after week. I remember there was a big gap between some of the episodes, maybe halfway through the series or so, and I was worried we wouldn't get to see how it all ended haha.





And Now For Something
Completely Different

Comedy / English / 1971

WHY'D I WATCH IT?
Reorganizing my Top Ten list. Reassessment time.

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
"Now it's just gotten silly."

Monty Python's ANFSCD is about as pure a comedy as you can get, it's just a bunch loosely connected Flying Circus sketches which range from the absurd to the mildly silly to the absurd.

I find it difficult to talk about comedies without just repeating the jokes, so instead I'd like to talk about "British Humor" and why I don't get it.

Or rather why other people "don't get it".

What's not to get? A big reason this movie was said to have flubbed in the US was because "American audiences don't get British Humor" and yet, Holy Grail is probably one of, if not THE MOST, popular comedies in America.

You telling me American audiences didn't get this over a movie specifically set in Britain?

I never understood that at all and looking up "British Humor" casts a bit of light on the issue, drawing attention to cultural proclivities like deadpan, social ineptitude, the class system, and even "taboo" topics which this movie certainly doesn't shy away from.



There's one scene in which we get a narrator describing the radio drama horror that is a woman at a typewriter as she gets literally swept away by the Yellow Peril before the United States rolls in and begins marketing "American Defense" like a commercial advertisement.

It's plainly tongue-in-cheek, but you would NEVER be able to get away with that **** nowadays. SJWs would crucify you.

Beyond that, I often just can't help but puzzle over what's so alien about the jokes in the movie. I mean it's FAR from what I would expect from a Japanese comedy, for example, but I think good comedy's fairly universal so long as you get the references.

When a couple sit down to dinner at a fancy restaurant and the guy requests a new fork because his is dirty, the entire restaurant staff trips over themselves in apology, becomes violently self-defeating, and eventually starts killing themselves and fighting each other before-

AND NOW THE PUNCHLINE:

"Good thing I didn't tell him about the dirty knife!"

What's not to get? It's funny, this isn't some bizarre British X Factor, it's "vicious gangs of keep-left signs" and "a bank robber walks into a lingerie shop", the comedy is self evident.

SOMETIMES you'll have a more thoughtful piece such as "Expedition Interview" where John Cleese plays a man with doublevision who pluralizes everything or "Nudge Nudge" where Eric Idle presses Terry Jones with rapid-fire innuendos only to admit he's a virgin, but none of that is uniquely British, it's just comedy.

Anybody can get it, it just comes slightly easier those of a British persuasion.



ANYWAY, I think ANFSCD is great, it along with Holy Grail have been huge memorable influences on my own personal sense of comedy for years.

If I had to make complaints they would obviously include the animals that appear (I'm not referring to stock footage or prop mice) and, you know, I've never been a big fan of Terry Gilliam's animations.

There are really funny ones ("and there was much rejoicing"), but they often just drift off into surreal nonsense like "Conrad Poohs and his Dancing Teeth" which is just a minute of some close-up desaturated face baring his teeth as they animate up and down to music. There's nothing to it, it's just visual drek.

For the most part though, if you're ready for sketch-city, Monty Python-style, this it it. Check it out.


Final Verdict:
[Friggen' Awesome]

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Hook
Comedy Adventure / English / 1991

WHY'D I WATCH IT?
Reorganizing my Top Ten list. Reassessment time.

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
"We gotta make him BANGARANG!"

Dogs, Pigeons, Chickens (both dead and alive), Eggs, Steak, Meat Slabs, I can totally understand someone not liking Hook. It's so filled with Cheese and... maybe I should start a new sentence.

Hook is so filled with whimsical cliches, plotholes, and basically failures to explain what the hell the rules of the world are (Why can only Peter fly? Why doesn't he need fairy dust? What's the deal with the thimbles? What the **** was up with that ending?) that it's easy to get lost in cynicism and criticize it's not semi-unconventional plot.

But that's also probably the biggest defense that could be made about the movie. It's all about AVOIDING that cynicism. It's echoed in how Peter is too involved in his job to appreciate his kids while they're young and it's further echoed by how Neverland never really opens up to him until he learns to flex that old imagination and play like a kid again.

NOW, you could criticize Robin Williams for yet again reprising his role as a manchild and you could further criticize the cast with Julia Roberts and even the child actors. AGAIN, I'm not saying they're not problematic, Dustin Hoffman is great as the eponymous scenery-chewing Captain Hook and I think Smee also gets a few great moments, but yeah, I'm not denying there are problems with this movie, I just don't think they're as bad as what... 30% on Rotten Tomatoes?

REALLY? THAT MANY PEOPLE hate this movie? Come on, did two-thirds of the audience seriously not take a hint and just try to enjoy it for what it is? The movie features a pirate baseball game where someone gets shot for stealing second base! Can't you just appreciate that!?



There are a fair number of annoying scenes, Peter scolding his kids comes off as awkward, and the third act hits a massive pocket of DEAD when Peter remembers his past and Tinkerbell comes onto him creating this extraordinarily alienating 4-way romance where...

Tinkerbell loves Peter... who loved Wendy... who loves Peter... but Wendy grew old... so Peter instantly falls in love with Wendy's daughter Moira while she's sleeping... which is just ****in' weird.

THAT PART of the movie sucks. BIG TIME.

But, for me at least, I really do go for it's message of growth. It's not simply that it sucks to grow up and anyone who grows up becomes a pirate equivalent, it's just that it's important not to let go of that childish wonder and never to forget what it is that makes you happy, as being a father is to Peter.

It can be easy to forget why you put your nose to the grindstone everyday when your kids are causing trouble, it's just gonna happen and one of the worst things you can do is forget what it was like to be them.

Ironically despite Spielberg defending the movie, he's since gone on to say he dislikes it, even saying if he could have he'd have done it all on a digital stage. Damn, not even Spielberg remembers what it was all about.

Beyond all that, I just think it's a fun movie. There's some really funny and memorable scenes and John Williams' score is naturally excellent.

It's one of those "to be a kid again" movies like The Goonies. It doesn't make a tremendous amount of sense, but it's a ride nonetheless.


Final Verdict:
[Pretty Good]

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Inception
Psychological Thriller / English / 2010

WHY'D I WATCH IT?
Reorganizing my Top Ten list. Reassessment time.

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
"I've come back for you... to remind you of something.
Something you once knew... That this world is not real."

Inception is one of those rare movies that not only got me hyped with the trailer, but more than delivered on it's promises.

I remember seeing the poster with that stereotypical loner-with-his-back to the camera layout and even though it said "from the director of The Dark Knight", which I thought was great, I wasn't impressed.

It wouldn't be until I sat in one of the D-Box demo seats outside my local theater (which actually seriously narrows down the number of places I could have seen the movie) that I first saw the trailer.



I sat through that trailer several times and while I would eventually become disappointed that Zack Hemsey's Mind Heist wouldn't appear in the movie or even the official soundtrack, the movie more than delivered on the tone and concepts it promises.

In fact, Inception baffled me with the sheer scope and complexity it ran with, flying directly in the face of recent blockbusters, by presenting what appears to be an action movie, but really leans the brunt of it's weight on the concepts and emotional themes it plays with. Again, spoilers here, but how often do you find yourself needing to track the events of a movie with a diagram? Let alone THIS kind of diagram?



Holy **** is that a lot to keep track of! But unlike most other movies which are complicated because they're poorly written, Inception holds no cards save the explanation of the dream device which is necessary to rationalize the story in the first place. Nearly EVERYTHING is given to the viewers to keep track of what's going on and it's edited to be presentable and digestible so that the onus is on the viewer to understand and interpret exactly what's happening and why onscreen.

Originally, I thought that my biggest complaint about the movie was simply the liberty it took to justify the plot, the contrivance that time goes slower in the dream than it does in reality. This is the total inverse what anyone who's ever dreamed knows to be true, but it's one of the only serious suspensions of disbelief asked of us and I find it more than acceptable to justify the plot.

However now, on my latest go-round, I feel that Inception actually suffers far and away most by it's complicated setup. It takes a LONG TIME, nearly half the movie to feed the audience enough information to keep us oriented in the second half and even then it's still very easy to lose track of which dream is who's and even what some of the characters' names are.

I know Ariadne, Cobb, Mal, Saito... uh... Fischer... uh... Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Tom Hardy. Pharmacist Guy. And that's just the characters' names.

It's a lot of exposition, which HONESTLY is well disguised amidst it's pacing and presentation, but it's still exposition. A LOT OF IT and I think it's easily the biggest reason why I find myself resistant to watch it again because it's a rough climb to the good bits. It's not bad, it's just not very easy going down.

Aside from that I pleased to see that a movie so intellectually demanding also offers some potent emotional narrative. The idea of Cobb literally haunted by his ex-wife in a world where dreams are tangible realities is compelling and I think it's worked in excellently with the central narrative of Inception.



WARNING: "Inception" spoilers below
The ending is fantastic too with the question of whether everything is a dream or not left hanging in the air. I think a big reason why the ending is so effective though is that the movie specifically includes a scene that would rationalize a "bad ending":

Earlier we see Cobb testing Pharmacist Guy's sedative in a nameless room where people are left to dream because "the dream has become their reality". Shortly after, Cobb awakens and escapes to the bathroom to spin his totem to test whether he's still awake or dreaming. We've seen this a couple times by this point and know what it means, but this is the last time he does it before he performs the Inception job and he's interrupted.

We never do see whether he was dreaming or not. It could very well be that Cobb is also in one of those beds, dreaming out his happy ending.

That is if Word of God didn't say that wasn't the case. I'm cool with that, I'll certainly accept a happy ending with a splash of BUT WHAT IF!?

Ultimately, Inception is a must watch. It asks you to think harder than your average movie while playing with themes of reality, dreams, and ideas. It offers some impressive setpieces, particularly those involving absence of gravity, and it's a solid emotional gutpunch which is thumbs up in my book.


Final Verdict:
[Friggen' Awesome]



REWATCH UPDATE (8/10/22):
I first saw Inception when it released in 2010 and it remains one of my fondest movie-going experiences. So rarely do I see a trailer, am immediately sold, then go and see the movie, and get exactly what was advertised.

6 years later I wrote the above review, giving it top marks, but I later removed it from my Favorites list and have been resistant to see it again until now... another 6 years later. It's become another one of those movies, which, while I casually granted a high rating based on my strong first experience of it, I have always remained skeptical of my own opinion and privately braced myself to think differently about it after giving it some time.

It has now been over a decade since the movie has released, to glowing fanfare, and a legacy of other movies borrowing it's BWOM sound effect so prominent in the trailer.

So how does it hold up?

Well, overall, I am still extremely impressed with the movie. In all the years since, and across all of the movies I've reviewed since 6/27/2016, I have yet to see a movie I'd so readily call "intelligent". That may sound pretentious, and I want to avoid using the term "challenging" since it's not exactly a hard movie to follow or "complicated" at the risk of sounding negative, but how else can I describe a movie that asks me, as a viewer, to mentally keep track of 5 different timelines, operating at different speeds, and synchronizing across them with the same characters playing different roles all in the pursuit of presenting a reverse sci-fi heist, complete with foreshadowing, plot twists, a cliffhanger ending, and an emotional subtext to tug at your heartstrings.

This must read like the most delusional, over-ambitious piece of shit movie ever conceived, but I'd be completely lying if I said it didn't knock almost all of it out of the park.

Trying not to retread stuff I've already talked about, I would still agree that this movie takes a significant degree of exposition to get up to speed, not just to establish the setting, the characters, and their roles, but also rationalizing the creative liberties necessary for the plot to make sense.

I don't think it was at all necessary for them to pull the "you use 10% of your brainpower except when you're asleep" line, it really only exists to double down on the "you perceive more time when you're asleep", which is completely opposite of my dreaming experience.

It's dumb, but it's a small concession for the story it allowed them to tell. And it helps that again this movie is presented like a heist thriller, which greases the exposition scenes the same way a bank heist movie would go. We're given a clear idea of their plans and how it's expected to go, so we have the strongest grasp of what's going on when it inevitably goes wrong.

The whole movie is engaging, but that doesn't change the fact that it still has to dump all that pretext on us before events can simply unfold and allow us to experience them as they happen.



Now to actually get into some story gripes for once, because while this movie is incredibly thoughtful, it is not without apparent plotholes:

The concept of a kick is not clearly distinguished from suicide. It's argued that killing yourself under a certain level of sedation wouldn't lift you up one dream level, but that it would send you to "Limbo", a non-deepest depth of dreaming with unclear properties beyond the understanding that because of the way time works, anyone in limbo could be forced to live a very long time over what may be a few minutes in the real world.

Both Saito and Cobb are presented as though they've forgotten that Limbo is a dream, but why would that be a property of Limbo? It's implied that they can simply kill themselves to escape which seems to trivialize the threat of ending up in limbo in the first place because if killing yourself once sends you deeper, but killing yourself again wakes you up... what's the concern?

Again, this turns entirely on the assumption that Limbo would cause you to forget that you're dreaming, but no part of the movie suggests why that would be, especially considering how Fischer is able to maintain a contiguous memory of the previous dream, even though he didn't create the dreams until then.

Why also does the anti-gravity effect extend to dream Layer 2 when the van is in free-fall, but not into Layer 3 when the elevator is?

How does Cobb even get to Limbo? We literally cut from the apartment in what I thought was Limbo to him laying out in the waves elsewhere... in Limbo? There's seriously no transition between these scenes.

The worst line in this movie is when Mal drops from the ceiling in army fatigues in Dream Layer 3 and shoots Fischer and Cobb deadass asks "how can you be sure" she's not real instead of shooting her. It's so completely contrived for his character to do that in that moment since he's been adamantly insisting that she's not real the entire movie. It's just an awful excuse to shoot Fischer and drag out the movie even more.

My least favorite character in the whole movie is easily Ellen Page as Ariadne and I definitely felt this way when the movie was new. Juno came out 3 years prior so she was basically at the height of her popularity at the time and it really felt like she was just the celebrity casting choice. Main reason for this being that her role as the "Architect" is so poorly communicated by the events of the movie. Other characters, like Tom Hardy's Eames play an active role in the actual perpetration of the inception. The other characters shoot guns, drive vans, set explosives, time the kicks, are otherwise rationalized to have made them custom drugs offscreen...

But Page is supposed to be the "architect" that "designs the dreams" and "teaches the dreams" whatever the **** that means. So she's the one who dreams up the world and everyone else populates it. We don't want the population to become aware of her dreaming though, so she has to design the world in such a way as to mitigate interaction, just as by the example of "closed loop" paradoxes.

This is NEVER shown in practice in the movie, each dream is just one big environment, and she's only the dreamer of the Layer 1, so why is the only closed loop paradox shown in Layer 2? JGL is shown to be the dreamer of Layer 2 and he's the one explaining how much of this shit works in the first place, so we don't need her! Are we just describing random doors and paths through traffic as parts of a maze?

Am I supposed to take for granted that every Dream Layer is actually full of invisible walls secretly implemented by Ariadne and no character runs into them?

Having no obvious role in the heist and just tagging along is bad enough, but her entire character seems to exist purely to concern-troll Cobbs about Mal every ****ing step of the way. She brings up Mal and even deliberately engages Mal more than any other character, ostensibly because the transient "danger" she poses.

Sure we get a train flying out of nowhere... once... in the Dream Layer SHE was chiefly responsible for, but we're already expecting projections in the dream to be trying to kill the cast! So what does it matter if one of them literally prefers to take a knife to a gunfight!? JUST SHUT THE HELL UP, GOD!

I also just don't like Ellen Page. I liked her in Hard Candy, but I thought Juno was awful, her video game, Beyond: Two Souls was a joke, and now she's a millionaire whinging online about wearing dresses to red carpet events. What a tortured existence she must live.



Anyway, that's about as much griping as I can muster. It's still a really good movie. Music is utilized very well both in terms of pacing and mood, some CG never looked quite right, but there are also practical effects I still wonder how they accomplished, and altogether it delivers an experience that's intellectual stimulating, plays with ideas I love to think about, and rounds the whole thing out with an exciting and emotionally charged ending that makes me so desperately want things to work out in the end, which is the best impression I think you can leave on viewers when it comes to any fictional conflict.

I'm more alert to the movie's flaws, but I still have to give it an incredibly strong rating and I may rewatch it again to decide whether I want it on my Favorites list after all.


Final Verdict:
[Excellent]
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Aliens
Action Horror / English / 1986

WHY'D I WATCH IT?
Reorganizing my Top Ten list. Reassessment time.

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
"You know, Burke, I don't know which species is worse.
You don't see them ****ing each other over for a ******* percentage."

If you know me by now you know I've a very low tolerance for horror. Considering that it's probably not difficult to figure out which of the first two Alien movies I prefer.

What you may not know is that I think Aliens is a pretty damn fine movie.

For one, and I know it's probably been said before, but Ellen Ripley is perhaps one of the most potent heroines in action movies (and **** EVERYONE who says Katniss Everdeen). Not only does she demonstrate that she can hang with the guys with her own set of skills and not only does she kick the colonial marines in the ass when they need it, but there's also a deep recurrent theme of motherhood throughout the whole movie, particularly in the superior Special Edition cut.

We learn that in Ripley's stasis since the first movie her daughter has aged and died without her, effectively robbing her of her time being a mom. Shortly after returning to the alien planet she discovers Newt who also manages to show up the marines (namely Bro #1, Hudson) in her survival ability and emotional stability. Ripley casts some motherly affection her way and soon she's not just an authority, but she's a mom too. She doesn't serve any traditional representation of beauty either nor is she ever sexualized, she's just an average woman doin' what needs to be done.

Naturally this all comes down to a skill-infused battle against the Alien Queen, but not before stuffing her boot up the ass of Burke, a particularly memorable weasel of an antagonist.

Ripley's great. She's strong in her actions, she's assertive in her relationships, she's intelligent and skilled, she's emotional where it counts, and she's even flawed in her prejudice against androids.

I've said it before, but my favorite moment in the movie is when she's in the elevator prepping for the finale and she just closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.




You gotta imagine what she's feeling, barely skilled in the equipment she has and going into a soon-to-explode nest of the most violent creatures ever known to man just to rescue a girl she isn't even certain is still alive. And yet she sucks it up and gives a look of, "Alright, LET'S DO THIS."

The movie's just full of memorable dialog and as is typical of Cameron by this point it's paced excellently so even though it takes quite a while before we see our first alien, it's a solid slow burn in which we learn to orient ourselves with the characters and the atmosphere.

My complaints would obviously include the cat and hamster that appear, but beyond that I'd have to admit I'm simply not a fan of the aliens. They're not outright hideous, but they're certainly not attractive, especially when we're given money shots of the Facehugger's proboscis or the Queen ripping her eggsack. Ew. I did not want to see that.

There's also Newt's scream face. She just cannot convey a look of terror at all, she looks like a sister screaming in her brothers' face just to annoy him.

Beyond that it's kind of hard to complain about the movie. Bishop's Countdown is a memorable backing track, but it's literally the only one. It's also disappointing that we never see Burke in the nest (the scumbag), which was a scene that was cut from the movie. Would have preferred to see him suffer, but at least all my favorite characters survive so props for that.

ANYWAY, it's a slick movie and one I just find myself watching over and over again. Unlike Alien 3 which I pretend doesn't exist.


Final Verdict:
[Friggen' Awesome]




Aliens and Inception.... I love both of those movies. Though I haven't watched Inception in awhile and I've seen Aliens more times.





The Dark Knight
Superhero Action Drama / English / 2008

WHY'D I WATCH IT?
Reorganizing my Top Ten list. Reassessment time.

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
"This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object."

Dogs, Meat Slabs, Kissing, Marriage, talk about sequels with inferior sequels, here's a poser: How does Dark Knight stack up against Inception?

In my opinion, I'd say that the highs are higher, but the lows are lower.

Everything that's been said good about this movie is spot on, Heath Ledger as the Joker makes this movie, but unfortunately, if you take him out, what more are you left with?

Christian Bale isn't as appealingly idealic as in Batman Begins and he just comes across as silly much of the time, especially with the tryhard voice combined with a mask with brows just a little too furrowed, you know?

You got the likes of Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, and Morgan Freeman backing you, but they're all very minor roles. Aaron Eckhart plays Harvey Dent and he does a fine job at it I think, but his figurative transformation into Two-Face isn't quite as compelling as his literal transformation.



The strongest thing going for the movie I THINK, other than Ledger of course, is simply the thematic duality. I kinda got a thing for that sorta stuff.

On one hand you have Bruce Wayne's alter ego, Batman, the Dark Knight, fighting crime above the law, but at the same time you have Two-Face's alter ego, Harvey Dent, the White Knight, fighting crime below the law. On top of that we see another parallel in Joker and Batman where joker represents chaos and anarchy while Batman represents order and justice.

It's neat stuff to think about and it all ends with Batman pinning Dent's crimes on himself because BATMAN CAN TAKE IT YO.

I'll be honest, this is THE MOVIE that actually opened me up to superhero stories. For the most part I have difficulty getting into the muscly-ripped cape-and-leotard sort of characters, you know? So it was refreshing to see something a little bit deeper and more compelling onscreen than Spider-man or Superman or... Hulk.

Since then I've seen Iron Man and The Avengers which I thought were pretty fun and I've yet to see Guardians of the Galaxy so there's hope there too.

Now though, I kinda feel like The Dark Knight is wearing on me. The Joker scenes are cool, but it's not all about him and everything else is kinda... eh... I dunno, hearing Dent talk about the court system or trying to force some sort of emotional turmoil onto Gordon all feels... either boring or forced.

On top of that there's this weird disconnect where the movie regularly ventures into horror mode with jumpscares and Psycho Strings, it gets a bit much.

Altogether it's a fine movie, no doubt, but I think the magic has worn off. Joker's cool, would watch his scenes any time, but the rest? Ehh... I could take it or leave it.


Final Verdict:
[Good]


3/25/24 REWATCH UPDATE!
When I reviewed this movie 8 years ago, I'll admit I was a little burnt out on it. The hype was still strong for this movie and it was easy to doubt my own opinion of the movie because of how much hype it had received and the reputation it carried with it beyond it's release.

Batman Begins was an obligatory origin story that I haven't been compelled to revisit, and The Dark Knight Rises was quite simply terrible. It got rave reviews on it's release, but it was frankly dogshit compared to The Dark Knight, there is simply no comparison. The reviews it got were absolutely unjustified.

The Dark Knight, however, is STILL a great movie, and revisiting it well after it's relevance has refreshed itself in my mind all the reasons I liked it and more.

It's still a densely paced, high-octane thriller with some truly memorable character moments. I'm still inclined to say that Batman himself takes a backseat in this movie, but Harvey Dent leans in to fill that void nicely.

I guess I always struggled to follow a bit of the legal particulars they were stringing along in the movie and Dent's transformation felt really contrived to me.

Of course, it's a superhero movie, but there were some details I picked up on this time around that I appreciate having missed previously.


For some reason it was never made entirely clear to me why Dent had it out for Gordon, but now I realize it's because Gordon, "just working with what he's given" really wasn't able to address corruption within the police, and it's the police who ultimately kidnap Dent and Rachel. Dent repeatedly expresses his skepticism towards how safe the police department is and that skepticism is borne out by both information leaks and the eventual kidnapping.

Apparently my mind had just skimmed over this detail and it weakened Dent's transformation to me.

Another little think I have never understood up until now was the exchange between the clowns at the start of the movie in which one of the henchmen complains that Joker "doesn't know how to count". I didn't understand what they were saying, but I now get that he originally was asking if the Bankman was out of shotgun shells, and Joker takes a moment to count in his head before nodding, only for him to shoot at them another time.

Little things like that I guess I just didn't pick up on, and still, off the top of my head, I couldn't really explain why a man named "Harvey" and a man named "Dent" both had to die to communicate that the Joker's targeting Harvey Dent. Wasn't his DNA found on the Joker card? Wasn't the Joker card placed on a body flung into a window where Harvey Dent was?

I really don't think we needed the elaborate crime scenes to communicate that Joker wanted Dent.


But I dunno, clearly I've missed some details so maybe the movie's just a little bit too fast-paced for once?

Either way, reading back my review makes it sound like every scene without the Joker is a slog to sit through and it really isn't. It's a real solid popcorn movie and the fast-pace absolutely keeps me engaged.

Still very fun and the audio design is top-notch. Will definitely return this back to my shelf of favorites.



Final Verdict:
[Great]
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Omni, have you seen the extended cut of Alien 3? It's the version with an Ox, and Golic (McGann) has a much bigger role.
It's by far superior to the cinematic cut with the dog at the start.



Omni, have you seen the extended cut of Alien 3? It's the version with an Ox, and Golic (McGann) has a much bigger role.
It's by far superior to the cinematic cut with the dog at the start.
I don't know, but if Ripley's still on the prowl for prison sex and we still get a Newt autopsy to shove our face in I'm still not going to like it.



OKAYY, I've thought about it really hard and decided on a New Top Ten:

The Nightmare Before Christmas +1
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory +1
Mad Max: Fury Road *NEW*
Ink -3
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind +4

12 Angry Men *NEW*
Aliens +3
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children -2
Back to the Future Part II *NEW*
Hook -6

Inception
And Now For Something Completely Different
The Dark Knight


I don't know what the deal is with Hook, I just keep watching it for some reason.




OKAYY, I've thought about it really hard and decided on a New Top Ten:

The Nightmare Before Christmas +1
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory +1
Mad Max: Fury Road *NEW*
Ink -3
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind +4

12 Angry Men *NEW*
Aliens +3
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children -2
Back to the Future Part II *NEW*
Hook -6

Inception
And Now For Something Completely Different
The Dark Knight


I don't know what the deal is with Hook, I just keep watching it for some reason.

This just might be the oddest top ten I have ever seen.



I've thought about it really hard and decided on a New Top Ten
My list is really just the first 10 movies I could think of that I really, really like. A few of them are certainly not what I would consider "Top 10" material, but I like them all the same. I could put some more thought into it, but the first movies I came up with are actually a really good representation of my taste (or lack thereof) haha.



My list is really just the first 10 movies I could think of that I really, really like. A few of them are certainly not what I would consider "Top 10" material, but I like them all the same. I could put some more thought into it, but the first movies I came up with are actually a really good representation of my taste (or lack thereof) haha.
I decided to think of it like this:

What's my ONE desert island movie? *takes one*

Now, what's my NEXT desert island movie? *takes another*