The Shoutbox
Another all-time favorite:

"Look, kid: I'm not the kind of dad that does things or says stuff or, you know, looks at ya."
"Me fail English? That's unpossible."
"My cat's name is Mittens."
"My cat's breath smells like cat food."
"English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"
"I bent my Wookie."
"Get rid of those sideburns, Mattingly."
"Who do you love?"

"Hover bikes!"
"Ow, my freakin' ears!"
"Look at that Joe Namath, with that wild hair; he looks like a girl! Now Johnny Unitas...THAT's a haircut."
"Oh, it can swim."