Ask Psychic Isaac
Hello Everybody!
I am Psychic Isaac. I am a helpful psychic with God-given powers and no crystal ball. I have been psychic all of my life and my predictions are 99% accurate! God sent me here on a mission to help those who need my services - which are FREE. I've already got enough money to spend - and believe me, I do spend it (stop messing up my hair, Cherry!) So if you have a question for Psychic Isaac, lay one on me! Go right ahead and I'll try to respond ASAP! Isaac! |
Brilliant.
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You are brilliant, Chris Bowyer! Brilliance is your middle name!
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P.I., where in the Hell did I leave my car keys?
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Originally posted by Holden Pike
P.I., where in the Hell did I leave my car keys? |
Originally posted by Psychic Isaac
You are brilliant, Chris Bowyer! Brilliance is your middle name! |
Nope, definitely didn't eat them: I'm a vegetarian but my key ring has some leather attached to it, so that wouldn't have happened. And for the record, I always check my stools. It may seem unnecessary to some or even gross, but at least I'm keeping the latex glove people in business. It does get a bit awkward in public restrooms, but that really can't be avoided.
No, where in my house did I leave my car keys? Seriously, I can't find them. |
Originally posted by Holden Pike
Nope, definitely didn't eat them: I'm a vegetarian but my key ring has some leather attached to it, so that wouldn't have happened. And for the record, I always check my stools. It may seem unnecessary to some or even gross, but at least I'm keeping the latex glove people in business. It does get a bit awkward in public restrooms, but that really can't be avoided. No, where in my house did I leave my car keys? Seriously, I can't find them. As for your car keys - I SERIOUSLY think you should check the bathroom. I know I saw a toilet bowl in my vision. However, I want you to stay out of your closet. There's a ghost in there named Linda Janglewood - she was murdered and left in there by her husband. Her son is also haunting your place, and his name is Woody, or Woodrow. Sometimes you'll feel him jump on your bed at night. They won't harm you, but Linda is disturbing. She sometimes makes moaning and death-like sounds. Tell them to go to God. |
Nope, wrong again, oh not-so-psychic one. My wife Linda was indeed murdered, but I slaughtered and buried her in the garage, nowhere near a closet of any kind.
I checked all three bathrooms, and no car keys. I did find a partially eaten sandwich behind one bowl - I often dine while on the crapper: garbage in, garbage out, you know. I guess I'll just walk everywhere for a while, since you are no help at all in locating my keys. No wonder you don't take money - the massive refund process would consume all your time. |
Originally posted by Holden Pike
Nope, wrong again, oh not-so-psychic one. My wife Linda was indeed murdered, but I slaughtered and buried her in the garage, nowhere near a closet of any kind.
I checked all three bathrooms, and no car keys. I did find a partially eaten sandwich behind one bowl - I often dine while on the crapper: garbage in, garbage out, you know.
I guess I'll just walk everywhere for a while, since you are no help at all in locating my keys. No wonder you don't take money - the massive refund process would consume all your time.
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I'd shop around for another God if'n I were you. Or at least get yours to pony up my keys, pronto! Perhaps He thinks this is funny? I hate those prank-pullin' deities. It's why I'm no longer a Moonie: one shaving cream pie to the face too many from old Reverend Sun (the bastard).
You are the worst psychic I've dealt with since Miss Cleo. She couldn't help me find my blue dress socks - "look behind the couch", she kept saying. Horesh!t. Turns out my wife Linda accidentally gave them to the mailman she was screwing, which is of course why I had to kill them both. But did Miss Cleo see any of THAT coming?!? Nooooooo. And now, not only can you not find my keys, but you doubt I'm even telling the truth! Go and call the cops, fatAss, see if I care! They'll never take me alive anyway! |
Originally posted by Holden Pike
I'd shop around for another God if'n I were you. Or at least get yours to pony up my keys, pronto! Perhaps He thinks this is funny? I hate those prank-pullin' deities. It's why I'm no longer a Moonie: one shaving cream pie to the face too many from old Reverend Sun (the bastard).
You are the worst psychic I've dealt with since Miss Cleo.
And now, not only can you not find my keys, but you doubt I'm even telling the truth! Go and call the cops, fatAss, see if I care! They'll never take me alive anyway!
And you're still not telling the truth, Ruth! |
Again, a psychic who even doubts what I'm telling him. How dare ye. My posts have been filled with exactly as much fact as yours. And that's the double-truth, Ruth!
And still, no car keys. |
Originally posted by Holden Pike
Again, a psychic who even doubts what I'm telling him. How dare ye. My posts have been filled with exactly as much fact as yours. And that's the double-truth, Ruth! And still, no car keys. |
*URP*
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My modem is looking at me with those puppy dog eyes...
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Originally posted by The Silver Bullet
My modem is looking at me with those puppy dog eyes... Isaac! |
Psychic Isaac, will I ever be president of the United States?
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Originally posted by Sexy Celebrity
Psychic Isaac, will I ever be president of the United States? Isaac! |
PI, Why did god make me such a handsome devil and forsake all these other, well, ugly men?
I am chosen aren't I? ;) |
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