Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

Hollywood is at it again.


The writers behind X-Men First Class and Thor are penning the script...


And, none other than, ugh, Dwayne The sodding Rock Johnson is starring.


No release date or other details as yet.


This won't have neither the charm nor the humour captured by Carpenter and Kurt Russell.

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

Didn't I just get on to you in the shoutbox, about things like this?!?

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

Bite me.


:p

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

Wonder why this is getting a remake ahead of Escape From New York. They were working through Carpenter's back catalog pretty consistently (Precinct 13, Halloween, The Fog...okay, The Thing breaks the pattern a bit but still...)

I see the point. Maybe it's because New York has a sequel already?

Another Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson action flop in the horizon?

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

I see films listed for him, all the way to 2019. I do not see this listed. How much of a for sure is that?

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

It's all over the web... just google big trouble in little china remake.

It's not listed because it's probably not officially a sure thing of a movie for him and there is no cast yet. It's just in the talking stages and it was just announced. Plus IMDB hasn't yet placed it on it's site.

Good point. I was going to say that Halloween had about seven sequels (the most recent of which came out after Escape From L.A.) but then again that was more to do with the recent wave of slasher reboots over the past 10-15 years and less to do with its status as a Carpenter film.

As for this...well, I'm not getting too mad about it, but considering what a bizarre little film it was I seriously doubt that even a well-intentioned remake could recapture the same level of magic that the original had. At least Johnson seems like a sensible enough pick to play a tough-guy wannabe whose ineptitude is played for laughs, but it's not hard to think it'll just wind up being a generic and forgettable family-friendly adventure-comedy. I imagine they'll cast James Hong as Egg Shen.

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

Yep, I went to Facebook, and there it was on recent posts. He is honestly a very sweet man. I've seen enough, from when he hangs out at the gym with handicapped children, and so on. It's a shame I'm going to have to tell him off. :p

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

Well I highly doubt it can get any worse then The Thing remake/prequel/whatever. Somewhat optimistic.

Obviously not because Dwayne Johnson is a baby oil drenched slab of meat who can't act.

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

I have no issues with Dwayne Johnson, but this is NOT the role for him. Nor should this even be remade.

Barf.

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

I don't understand why this is even a thing. I read somewhere that the Rock said it was one of his favorite movies, so the question must be asked, why does he want to remake it then? A remake will no doubt never capture what made the original so damned funny and awesome, hell, the movie was a failure when it came out, because the studios had no idea how to sell it. Was it a kung fu movie? Was it a comedy? Was it a horror? And something tells me that they still won't be able to wrap their heads around it even now. So the script will lack the tonal weirdness that made it so unique, you KNOW the Rock will not want to play the sidekick role that Kurt Russell was playing (He really isn't the hero of the film, watch it again, you'll see it), and modern sensibilities will not allow the Asian stereotypes that Carpenter was clearly making fun of. So yeah. This will not be good, so why do it?

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

Another BAD idea...

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

Y'know... if they got Jet Li and Rila Fukushima on board as the main Chinese couple (in place of Dennis Dun and Suzee Pai) it might be worth it.


I'd have:
The Rock - Jack Burton
Elizabeth Banks - Gracie Law


Can you imagine Banks doing her horny thang over Dwayne's muscles?


Jet Li - Wang Chi
Rila Fukushima - Miao Yen


Rila wouldn't do much, but would look great with green eyes. Good match for Jet Li too.


Christina Applegate - Margo Litzenberger (Gracie Law's friend)
Stephen Chow - Eddie Lee (Wang Chi's friend)


Comedy couple, would work really well together.


Hiroyuki Sanada - David Lo Pan


Older soul, good for the younger look of Lo Pan and with a bit of makeup would rock as the older Lo Pan.


Jackie Chan - Egg Shen (Egg Fu Yung)


Yes. Just yes.


Donnie Yen - Lightning
Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa - Thunder
Cung Le - Rain


Imagine these 3 high kicking against The Rock and Jet Li?

Re: Big Trouble In Little China... Remake
 

GREAT. GRAND. WONDERFUL.