Pyro's Piss poor reviews
 

I decided to attempt a review, so here it is. I've choosen to review Happiness of the Katakuris as its such a unique genre bending movie, i think people here should definately see it.
http://www.splattermac.com/films/hap...katatkuris.jpg

Directed by Takashi Miike, the man who directed Audition and Ichi the Killer so before you start to get the wrong idea, this film is nothing like them, in fact it's a musical. I'll be honest and admit i didnt really understand the films plot, but i dont think i was meant to.
It begins with a claymation scene where a woman orders some soup and finds a demon in which comes out of the soup, the film transfers into claymation and the devil falls in love and then rips out the womans uluva. Then there's a life cycle where the devil is eaten by a crow which is then killed by a evil teddy bear. Odd, yes. Then there's some more randomness and suddenly we are introduced to the Katakuris.
The Katakuris are a family who run a guesthouse in the middle of nowhere that has no guests. Their first guest commits suicide and instead of reporting this they decide to bury the body. There's a couple more comic deaths which are buried and the final death is of Richard, the daughters latest love. He was pretty cool, the most memorable character, and the 'I Love You' song and dance is undoubtedly the highlight of the film. I wont ruin the twists of his character, though they aren't major factors in the narrative. After this i don't really know whats happens, a guest turns nasty, the police arrive and the volcano they are situated under erupts. THis is followed by more clay-mation as they carry the guest house away from the volcano (??).
I think for this film being so frighteningly unique alone makes it a must see. Saying that, its not for all, but a sure treat for those who do see it. It may not be the Sound of Music but heck, it's a riot. All in all a film that has something for everyone and one you wont see in the multi-plexes anytime soon.

Overall 8.5/10

Are there any midgets?

Cool review.. I just picked up "The Eye" yesterday, but have yet to watch it. Now I can add this one to my list of asian cinema to see. :)

I thought I saw something about midgets....(where?)

I don't think your review is piss poor.

Interesting choice of genre....and, nice review

Good review, sounds very weird gana have to see this film.

Thanks, errrm although there are numerous odd folks in it, i think midgets are in the minority. As for the piss poor, i didnt want to blow my own trumpet (1st review n'all) and i liked the alliteration

It's a good first review...nicely done!

Well, if anyone wants to read this, i have a few Asian treats to share with y'all. I'll keep the reviews brief and simple.

Takashi Miike is one busy man, churning several films a year. Of course, this would lead one to believe they're rushed and, well bad. Luckily, as far i can see, this is not the case and in my opinion, the highlight of his career so far has to be this film....

Bird People in China

http://homepage.mac.com/vanvdo/image...e-in-China.jpg

The film serves as an interesting contrast against the seemingly excessively violent reputation Miike has garnished. If you've seen any of his films, you probably wouldn't believe the same guy made this exsqusite film.

The plot involves two opposite characters, a Yakuza and a business man. It's relatively simple, the business owes the Yakuza money, so our two characters are both sent to China to retrieve rare jade from a mountain village and*repay* the Yakuza debt. This basic plot outline is essentially irrelevant. As each character realises they're both stuck in the same boat, a bond forms, especially after their guide suffers a campfire accident. The film is a true study of character, not to mention wholly beautiful. To explain the title, when we reach the village the locals believed their ancestors could fly, as such there are flying schools etc. Each character embraces this new culture, the Yakuza even reforms and chooses to live there, although goes slightly mad. I won't spoil it but he doesn't allow the business man to leave with the jade as it would bring development to this untouched society. The film is also full of quirky humour, the mini van section of the journey is a fine example of Miike's comic ability. There are a some some scenes of violence, a Yakuza shoot out and an animal massacre, although gory, none of these reach the violent depravity of his other films.

Much of the films reloves around the character interactions, thankfully the acting is spot on. As well as this, every shot is lush and the screen oozes with beauty, a far depature to oozing with blood. Admittedly i do feel a lot is lost in translation. The culture clash of China/Japan and the languages went over my head a bit, however you can still appreciate the isolation. In terms of a Miike film, this is his most unique in my opinion. While Happiness of the Katakuris mingled genres, it kept a lot of his signatures and visual styles however this is just awe inspiring and unlike any of his other films (that i've seen). A real treat to anyone who sees it, and the ending is heart-warming and breathtaking.

9.5/10

Nice review Pyro! I enjoyed reading it. :)

Review #3

Tears of a Black Tiger (Wisit Sasanatieng, 2000)

http://www.ukquad.com/tears.jpg

Now, i'm not ashamed to say this is probably the 1st Thai film i've ever seen, hopefully it won't be my last.

The film has the standard love story plot, and well that's about it as far as plot goes. It takes a lot of the codes and conventions of the Western genre, especially visuals. Whether or not it actually IS a Western is another question, it certainly looks like one.

A problem with this film was if it actually was tongue in cheek, or deadly serious. My bet's on the first. Bearing in mind the costumes (including an especially dubious moustache) and theatric sets, it's hard not to laugh at some of it. That said, there is some generous helpings of violence, contrasted with the love story. The film is highly plaesing on the eye, with some equally lush and garish settings and shots. My favourite would have to be the river turning red.

Overall, a mixture of comedy, violence and romance in a odd blend of Thai and West cultures. Over the top, and humouress shootouts with oddball characters help to create one of the zaniest films i've seen.

7.5/10

Gozu (2003, Takashi Miike)

http://www.facets.org/Images/gozu.jpg

Gozu is initially an accessible and interesting Miike film. It begins with mild humour and the introduction of a 'crazy' Yakuza boss- Ozaki, in one scene throwing a small "yakuza attack dog" against a restaurant window (lol). The humour initially presented is slightly lost towards the end, at least i hope it is.

The film is very similar to Twin Peaks, the small town full of quirky inhabitants, but where the TV series format allowed us to recognize and emphasise with this variety of characters over the time of the series, a 120 minute film simply isn't long enough to develop such a diverse set of characters. This was the initial flaw i found in the film, characters would be built up and appear in a scene, and they are presented well and undoubtedly they have a rich and colourful personality but this is briefly touched upon, leaving us wanting more that we never actually get. Then these character are just disregarded for the rest of the film.

The aforementioned yakuza, Ozaki, is being driven and about to be killed (unknown to him) by his close brother- Minami. A long the way the boss dies of natural causes. The brother, Minami drives to the Twin Peaks-esque town but the body disappears. What follows is a dragged out yarn of Minami doing some detective work and meeting the useless and quirky characters. A notable scene is the cow-headed yakuza (Seen on poster) dream and although i was expected this character to be in a more primary role, it was still a sick, and slick scene. Later a woman appears, claiming to be Ozaki, i'll be honest and admit i didn't really understand what was going on here. She convinces Minami with intimate knowledge only he'd know, though no-one else believes it, including the head yakuza and she/he goes back to his place, wink wink, again no idea why.

Now we're moving towards the end, it gets really ****ed. The boss can only 'pitch his tent' with a strategically placed ladle (just see the film). Minami, naturally strives to prevent his brother having intercourse with the mob boss, and this culminates in a sticky and electricrifying death scene. Ahh, it's all resolved. Ozaki isnt really Ozaki and Minami can express and release his sexually feeling towards her (Minami has problems you see, one of which is he's a virgin). After banging her something appears to have gone wrong... yeah, did you forget it was a Miike film?

I'll leave you in suspense as to what happens but i've made all my flatmates watch it, and their reaction was quality. Hopefully you'll see the film and get the disturbing shock I had. The film is good, despite being slightly over ambitious and dragging in places. It does seem like an exercise in Miike experiment with character and creating a more mainstream film, until the end that is. Overall, if you like Twin Peaks, it's an interesting Asian take and anyone who likes to be shocked should too, enjoy it.

7/10

Lone Wolf and Cub, Sword of Vengeance (Kenji Misumi, 1972)

http://shopping.yahoo.com/video/imag.../17/226517.jpg

Ok, now I havn't seen any 'classic' Samurai films (i.e. the works of Kurosawa) but this film is damned good. To be honest, one of my few experiences of the genre is Shogun Assassin, of which this was edited into. But anyway, the action scenes are fly, the acting just good enough to not let it slip into the cheese and Ogami Itto is safe as ****. That's not to say it doesn't have its problems, the fractured narrative was at times confusing, drifting into flashbacks with little warning or few pointers.

Overall, I reckon you should see it if you hold even a dwindling interest in the samurai films. Kitano's Zatoichi come close to this, but Sword of Vengeance takes the biscuit. Roll on the rest of the series.

10/10

Thanks for the reviews trampy, I have added a few to my must see list, it is so long now, thanks a lot. :rolleyes:

Which ones you added Nebs?

I don't wanna judge a book by it's cover...but this one looks like it's going to leave a nasty stain. I must see it!


http://www.facets.org/Images/gozu.jpg


Thanks man!

Well all of them. :cool:

Cheers guys.

Ahh Gozu, Mr Last, i'd be very intrigued as to your what your feelings are after seeing it. Last person i leant it to got really really angry at me, lol.

Into the Mirror (Seong-ho Kim, 2003)

http://www.e-m-s.de/cover-large/into_the_mirror.jpg

Although this horror film comes from Korea, it still adheres to the same formula which Ringu created and used so well.

In case you havn't seen Ringu and don't know this pattern i'm talking about its consists of a unique and supernatural force, killing, our hero and often a cynical partner investigating, a family secret revealed and a confrontation then a twist. The unique aspect here is the villian comes through mirrors to kill, oooh.

TBH, when the typical Asain horror formula emerged i rather gave up hope and lost interest. The first few deaths aren't particularly scary or well done, though that's not to say the film isn't intelligent. It has some interesting moments, not including the poor twist, or most the formulaic plot. The mirror aspect has some interesting touches and anyone who has an interest in Asian horror would probably enjoy it. It doesn't rank up high with The Eye or Dark Water and probably won't get the American remake treatment but as i said, it's not too bad for a quick watch.

6/10

Thanks pissy, oh sorry i mean Pyro ;)

Infernal Affairs (2002)
http://www.hotpress.com/movielounge/...fairs_1024.jpg

Perhaps my most delayed review, as i've been into this movie for quite a while now. If anyone needs a starting point in Hong Kong cinema, then this is it. It's a fine example of a film that's neither comedy or martial arts, genres which most people associate with HK.

The plot is painfully simple when you think about it, a police mole in the Triads (Tony Leung) and a Triad mole in the police (Andy Lau), each trying to find out who the mole is. With this narrative it excells, a favourite scene is when the Leung follows Lau out the cinema- Lau knows he's being followed by the mole, and Leung knows he's following Lau however neither can look each in the eye lest reveal thier identity, pretty tense, and intelligent, something lacking in many Hollywood films. Both play the opposing side for a while, but when Leung's police boss is killed, he's really on his own, especially as the cop to bring him is Lau. Tony Leung simply excells in his role and it furthers my opinion that he's one of the best actors around. Lau is also suitable scheming and evil, and when his fake world starts to crumble he manages to convey many emotions and create a fantastic conflicting view of his character. A bonus on top of these perfomances is brilliant support from the character's superiors, both are friendly yet coniving, supportive yet aggressive.
Ok, so the story is invigorating and the perfomance's are perfect but the cinematography is also beautiful. Any fans of Wong Kar Wai, will be interested and delighted to know of Christopher Doyle's input. The climax atop a skysraper is moody and charming and is the perfect end to this tale. I won't spoil the twist but it's avoids the Hollywood cliche of a glorified shoot out and totally rocks.
It's hard to find fault in this film, it borrows a rather Western approach and does have a similar feel to Micheal Mann's Heat, although is just as good in it's own right. The eternal conflict the characters suffer from leading split lifestyles is played just right, there's no overly dramatic scenes, the perfomances tell enough. One mild criticism is the echoes of John Woo's Hard Boiled, where Leung is in an almost identical role but its too minor to worry about. There a a few leads to the following additions to the series (a brief note on them later) which seem a bit out of place.
Overall, I thought it was a wonderfully crafted, tense, intelligent and most importantly exciting film. Must see!

10/10

In regards to the remake, my main worry is the choice of actors, as good as they maybe, will be hard to top Leung and Lau. In other remakes, the original performances have been mainly adequate hence, change didnt matter as much. And the film doesnt recquire much cultural capital so its appeal extends to most, imo. I hope Scorsese has just used Infernal Affairs' concept as a spring board for The Departed and doesn't make a carbon copy.

As mentioned, here's a brief note on the prequel/sequels. Infernal Affairs 2 provides some interesting background on characters despite the rather to eager to confuse plot like the intelligent original, or maybe it was just me. Both 2 and 3 use the original cast (Lau and Leung), though not to the best effect. It serves mainly as linking background to the 1st and for star appeal. The 3rd concludes the series with SPOILER:
Lau's takedown. Although the climax was good, and Lau played the part perfectly again, I feel there was too much added to 3 and it tried to avoid falling into the rather irrelevant nature of 2 by creating a bigger story, which perhaps would work on it's own but didn't gel that well into the grander narrative.
Infernal Affairs 2: 6/10
Infernal Affairs 3: 5/10

Thanks for the review Pissy ;)

Nice one! I think Katakuris definitely merits more than one viewing, as the first one generally spawns a WTF is going on kind of feeling. The musical numbers are definitely the highlight. Really funny stuff, really charming, in spite of all the death.

I think I missed the midgets. They can get into those nooks and crannies in the blink of an eye though.

Tears of the Black Tiger looks very interesting, and Bird People in China. I must have a hunt for these two. Great picks!

Did you catch Mann's return nod to Infernal Affairs in Collateral?

Maybe I read too much into it...

No, remind me....

Both feature shot-up bodies being dropped from a great height onto a red taxi.

See, maybe I was reading too much into it but when I saw the scene in Collateral, Infernal Affairs sprang to mind immediately. :)

Yeah, maybe....

Excellent Asian reviews, and cool to see someone reviewing Lone Wolf and Cub...

Thanks, i got the DVD boxset, last one i saw was Babycart In Peril, the 4th i think and also the one IMDB quotes as being remade by Aronofsky. What's your fav Sedai?

None of them. A friend of mine has some of the Dark Horse books, which I have perused...

You referring to the comics?

Yup. Big Frank Miller fan over here. Varley too. I remember the stuff being quite cool and well-done. Do you have the comics, as well? My friend is a MASSIVE Miller fan, and has everything Miller he can get his hands on, including the LWAC stuff. I tend to think Miller is at his best, art-wise, with the B&W stuff.

Didn't realise Miller had anything to do with the LWAC comics, i'm only partially aware of them at all, the ones i knew are the Japanese ones writen by Kazou Koike and artist Goseki Kojima. Comics aren't widely available to me and they certainly aren't popular over here, i've noticed a few LWAC stuff on eBay though selling quite high. Ask your friend for some recommendations? Cheers

Tetsuo: The Iron Man (Shinya Tsukamoto, 1988)

http://www.voodoovenue.com/images/DVD/tetsuo.jpg

Now, this film, or rather short film with a running time of 65 minutes, caught my attention due to the Black Sabbath song and the character Tetsuo from Akira. Although there's probably no actual link between these, they hardly prepared me for the shock that i received after this film was over.

Shot in black and white, it begins with a close up graphic shot of a metal fetishest (played by the director) slicing his leg open and inserting a metal pipe into it, it's a bold move, its sets the tone of unrepressed depravity and also high degree artistic editing and shooting. This man's wound becomes infected, removing bandages he sees maggots crawling in the wound, horrified the fetishest runs wild, and into the path of a car, driven by our protagonist Salesman. I think its the salesman, but either him or fetishest gets some metal in their brain. Plot is hardly an issue here, instead the narrative is progressed via imagery, with utter minimalistic use of dialogue. The lack of character development and interaction creates a foreign atmosphere, and the unexplained events and actions make watching this akin to having a nightmare.

As the 'plot' progresses, the salesman is attacked by a remote controlled (i believe) woman with a mechanical hand, this was by far the best moment, the stop motion creating a gliding movement for characters enhances it's nightmarish effect and the bizzare actions and chase just left me speechless, mainly through confusion. Now our salesman, is slowly becoming in iron man, after shaving and getting blade stuck in his face. A bizzare shot of a woman with a long tube extended from her groin is shown, and this tube then proceeds into salesmans anus, errrm yum... Salesman continues to mutate, his hands are metal and he has rockets (!) on his heels, but his girlfriend still makes love to him, that is until a further mutation- his cock becomes a drill, yes a moving drill. He forces his girlfriend onto him, despite her stabbing him in the neck, and she subsequentially is drilled and killed.

After this, it's revealed that salesman and his girlfriend, after killing the fetishest, dumped him in woods and then made love, explaining the previously random wood sex. Now the fetishest is back and has been controlling the salesman mutation and coming after him by being reborn via his dead girlfriend, i think. They both mutate with excellent stop motion and continue to fight, blasting around with their rocket feet, trying to mutate into each other, then a brief (random?) interlude of a bum (Renji Ishibashi for Miike fans) beating salesman up in a disturbing POV shot. Eventually the two merge into a phallice machine and decide to turn the world to metal. Charming.

Now the plot speaks for itself, much of the 65 minutes is close up shots of the slow and often perverse mutation into Iron Man. These are done marvelously, especially considering they were all homemade. The themes are very reminiscent of Cronenbergs The Fly and there are several Lynchian moments. Also the editing and selection of shots are all well chosen, and a real nightmarish world is created. It's hard to explain how slow close up shots can create a rivetting experience. To be fair, i was shocked and rather disgusting through most events- in the hard to look but can't look away style. Despite a meagre running time, you wouldn't want more, the highly stylised shots become over evident and slowly effect is lost with the impact. Although the moving mutation is stunning, some of the prosthetics are a little poor, helped by B&W, though still one of the few negatives.

It's still a stunning film, though a little random, you can either take the little plot as good in vien to Bunel and Un Chien Andalou, or it can be a criticism. Personally, i appreciated it the lack of plot explained through shots and not actions, though there was an actual plot, unlike Un Chien, and aspects have difficulty being understood. By far the most disturbing film i've seen, and memorable, though not the best film i've seen. Take it or leave it, laugh or hide, cheer or fear, love or hate. Try to see it.

9.5/10

Um Errr thanks for the review ;)

I quite fancy whacking a Kitano review out. Zatoichi seems too easy, i'm thinking Hana-B,i though i reckon i'll need to watch it again- the film's a beast. Any help Tacitus?

I was gonna give hana-bi a turn after my Sonatine review, but go for it. I'll switch to Kikujiro instead. ;)

Wonderful, wonderful film. As elegiac as Sonatine but with greater character development possibly (Murakawa has pretty much travelled his road by the time Sonatine opens, I reckon, which isn't a criticism) and lashings of guilt...

I feel i missed much of what Kitano was saying, yet still enjoyed it. (Who is Murakawa?) I'm definitely going to need to watch it again, perhaps the rest of his work as well. Feel free to review it though.

I have Kikujiro on tape, still havn't watched it yet.

Murakawa is the central character in Sonatine. ;)

Gotcha ;)

Thanks for the review Pyro, I think I'll skip that one. ;)

Skip Tetsou?

It may sound weird, but it's a must see

OK, forget Kitano (for now)- and moving away from Asia, this time we're in Spain for....

Abre Los Ojos (Open Your Eyes)
(Alejandro Amenabar, 1997)

http://images.art.com/images/product...0/10077747.jpg


The plot for this film is tricky to explain while avoiding spoilers, its very jumbled and has a mixed chronology with events left unexplained. Now, trusting most of you have some experience with slightly more challenging films, this shouldn't be a problem- think Mulholland Drive only with an explanation.

The plot basically revolves around a handsome fellow (Cesar) who has many one night stands, however never sees the woman again. One night at his birthday party, one of his accomplishments (Nuria) is waiting, wanting more, Cesar rejects her and uses his best friend's (Pelayo) love (Sofia) to help avoid her. Sofia is reluctant to fall for his charm but as time turns, things change. His best friend Pelayo accepts their relationship in order to save their friendship. However, after spending a night with Sofia, the woman from the party, Nuria, is back, neither got any the night before so Cesar takes a ride with her. Unfortunately, the Nuria is psychotic and crashes the car, killing herself and disfiguring Cesar.

Cesar desperately tries to restore his looks however, it's near impossible. He rejects himself and becomes unhinged. He meets Sofia again, who, hardly knowing him, is a little disconcerted by his appearance. Sofia, Pelayo and Cesar meet in a club, with Cesar hiding his face behind a mask. He drinks himself silly and tries to rekindle the spark he and Sofia experienced at his party, only he makes a fool of himself and they all leave and go there seperate ways. Cesar eventually realises Pelayo and Sofia have met up again and are now seeing each other. In despair, he passes out, from the alcohol, on the street. This marks a change in the story that will make sense after watching it, so i'm reluctant to go into details. During all this time we have intercuts of Cesar being confined in prison with a psychologist (Antonio) claiming he's a murderer.

The twisty second half succeeds as an almost seperate film, while not alienising the 1st half. The mixture of character development and tense sci-fi mystery create a joyful mixture and are masterfully blended. The second half did take me by suprise and out of context seems a little un-original and stupid but it's so masterfully built up it seems completely natural. The acting, especially be Chete Lera (Antonio) gives a perfect reflection of the mixed emotions and confusion we should be feeling- grounding the surrealism in reality whilst Cesar is enlightened, becoming sane and Antonio in effect swaps roles, becoming the unhinged character. His character is a good point of identification as he articulates the thoguhts of the audience, as the mystery of Nuria appearing as Sofia and his ongoing nightmare is gradually revealed. Cesar's gradual downfall is potrayed excellently Eduardo Noriega, and Penelope Cruz gives great support showing the complex emotional range necessary to pity and love the disfigured Cesar, the weakest character was Pelayo who seemed to be neglected a bit unfairly.

The pace is maintained throughout, the occasional enigma thrown in keeps you on your toes, guessing the outcome yet it is kept perfectly subtle, giving no major pointers to any possible outcome. As i said, the what would normally be a cop-out cliched finale takes you by suprise and is built up so well and logically, it's just a fantastic ending. It also ends just when it should, some films tend to make an emotional impactful scene to end on, but then drag it out some and loose that punch. Open Your Eyes does it all right. Superb all round. A haunting and subtle sublime blend of genre.

10/10

In case you didn't notice, this has been remade as Vanilla Sky. I havn't seen it but am pretty sure in saying, you should see this one first. Penelope Cruz plays the same role, not sure if she flashes them in both, but she sure does in Open Your Eyes- so see it for that alone :p

If anyone reads this, i'd appreciate some general feedback on my style, negative and positive.

hmm...well i saw this movie some years ago ( well before the vanilla sky incident ) and was absolutely blown away by it, but i just din't see any moral message or emotional depth that you seem to speak off, i just saw it as a clear cut thriller...i didn't want to watch vanilla sky, because why would you really wanna watch the same thing only in english and with tom cruize, i hate remakes especially when they're made so recently after the original, and i hate the fact that vanilla sky made much more money even though abre los ojos is clearly superior.....

I said emotional depth? I just loved the way Sofia looks at Cesar for the first time after the accident. She was disugsted but tried to hide it and gave a loving look, i just thought it was nice acting- her eyes said a lot.

The reviews are quite good but IMO, you tend to give away too much of the plot.

Is that a problem?

Well its up to you, but you might be better off with a very general summary that keeps most of it under wraps rather than telling us the first half of the movie.

Stop! Collaborate and listen!
Strum is trying to treat the problem, not the symptoms.

*Stifles a tear drop!*

Since you asked for feedback on your style, I will say I agree with Strummer. One paragraph is plenty, IMO, about the plot. I am interested, as a reader, in knowing your reaction to it. I can see the movie for myself. :)

Cool, i get the picture. Thanks.

Mulholland Drive (David Lynch, 2001)

http://www.sendit.com/img/video/cove...0/07/22/73.jpg

As a young film viewer, i rented this film in earnest on it's release, knowing nothing of Lynch and had little comprehension of the film. Years laters, at college, it seemed every media and film class had to screen this film to students at least once a year, slightly annoying when based on a previous viewing, i had no ****ing idea what it's all about. But, after choosing to watch it several more times (which are essential if you want to enjoy this film), it's becomes clear that the films a media students wet dream.

David Lynch comes under flack for making a film that has no clear, linear narrative, and can quite understandably be described as making no sense. The story begins with Rita, suffering from amnesia after a car crash, living with an aspiring young actress called Betty. The film plays out the set up as one would expect, trying to find Rita's past and love blooms. Along the way meeting several characters who seem midly irrelevant. The plot comes to halt and does a triple flip backwards in the last third, and this is where people get pissed. The characters rolls have been reversed, nothing of what we once knew exists, only minor threads linking the two universes.

For me, this is a master stroke of genius. Lynch manages to maintain enough structure for the threads between each section to be seen hance not making completely seperate and random films. A lot is down to personal reading, anyone can understand this film in anyway they like, there is no preferred reading. Which personally i think is great, it's a film truly for an active audience, who get what they give from the film. Of course, this is also the film's downfall, people unwilling to appreciate or try and create their own perception of the universes Lynch creates come away empty and annoyed. There are clues placed around, i like to think of the 1st section as a dream, which for me, explains most aspects.

As well as the great plot, the performances are spot on. Justin Theroux's two film directors are both the same yet different. All the actors, especially Naomi Watts and Laura Harring play their roles to a tee, the backflip and character reversal is almost perfect. From niave to heartbroken and desperate, and lost to cold and manipulating. The direction has to be good to make the film work, and Lynch succeeds. For fans it also has several of his trademarks evident. It has great cinematography. I feel it bears strong resembalance to Lynch's earlier Lost Highway and as a film maker he has improved on this considerably, making this the peak of his film making work, imo.

10/10


And if my review doesn't persuade you to watch this, it has hot lesbian action.

Sold!

Drunken Master (Yuen Woo Ping, 1978)

http://hkfanatic.com/jackie/movies/d...aster_dvd1.jpg

For me, this ranks alongside Shaolin Master Killer as the greatest martial arts film ever. Forget the over indulgent visual fests like Hero and Crouching Tiger, this is where it's at. It has the stereotypes you expect in the genre bought together in an unsurpassed martial arts epic. There's non of that high flying wire work, this is the ****.

Jackie Chan makes his breakthrough as the young Wong Fei Hung. The son of a kung-fu master, he has no respect, and while showing of to friends, he dishonours the family name by accidental incest. His outraged father tries to kill him, but his Aunt offers a diet of strict training courtesy of Beggar Su. WFH escapes and meets with an old drunk, who happens to be amazing at kung-fu. WFH later learns this old drunk is Beggar Su.


A lot of the film is training, however, it's all tongue in cheek and oftern very humouress, instead of dull and boring like many other similar flicks. WFH encounters a nemesis after fleeing from Beggar Su, Hwang Jang Lee (martial arts B-movie legend) setting up the final battle after the nemesis is given a contract on WFH's father. Fully trained, the best kung fu fight ensues between Chan and Lee.


The performances, although shaky and cheesy are just what you want. For best results, i reccomend watching with subtitles and the dubbing, some of the completely different translations are hilarious. Yuen Woo Ping (Kill Bill, Matrix) knows how to direct a fight scene, and the final fight is epic. It's great to see the training of the 8 Drunken Gods merge into a complete style. And of course the concept of Drunken kung fu is shown in it's full glory. Sweet premium wine! The fillers are ammusing and seeing the old Beggar Su roll around is a sight to see. And the film IS funny, it's not the cringe humour or the trying to hard, it's spot on, the 8th Drunken God Miss Ho, lol.



It's a shame kung-fu films aren't made like this anymore, even though set in a historical time, it still has all the awe inspiring action needed, without wires and CGI. For me, this is the peak in the genre. Anyone who likes lesser Chan films like Rush Hour etc, has an obligation to see this film.

See it with friends and some wine, and let the inevitable happen. 10/10

Thanks for the reviews, Pyro! :up:

Ya man, glad to see another Mulholland nut around. Good work!!

Good work Pyro :up:

Cheers, glad to know people actually read my reviews. Nebs and Sammy, you seen Mulholland Drive?

Nice one PT. By the way, did your copy of Mulholland Drive have no individual scene access? Mine doesn't, which is quite annoying...

I enjoyed your Mulholland Drive review, good job.

I'll be honest with you, i havn't actually watched my DVD of it yet :(

But i have read this is a technique Lynch uses on other DVDs to prevent skipping parts of the movie, so it's watched as a whole, as it "meant to be".

Undead (Spierig Brothers, 2003)

http://www.allthingszombie.com/image...s/undead_a.jpg

You have to appreciate this film, that's whether you like it or not. The film is rather technical and polished considering budget and adds
some fresh elements to a rather, let's be honest, simple genre. The
sci-fi element was the most notable, and it gives a nice hybrid nature to the genre, the comedy, well, can't have everything. The special effects and CGI are, as mentioned, something to be in awe of, all home computers and their own budget etc. Though, where lack of budget forces film makers to be creative, much of Spierig Brother's finesse was lost or recycled later on.

When the films started, i was expecting a decent zombie flick, the
meteors and the gore were all initially really well done and
imaginative, even the first zombie attacks were fun. Though, it becomes clear, once the film takes off, the makers don't really know where they're going. The supposed cool outsider hero just looked like a numpty, there was no menace, no fear or respect in or for his
character. His plans and actions were inconsistent, 'we've been chosen to fight them..... so we'll hide from them in the basement'. The plot was weak. Much of the following action came repetitive and
uninteresting, OK, they won't die, lets shoot them anyway. There was one scene later on in the store that touched at the earlier finesse but sadly most of this scene was just copied from Peter Jackson.

The acting, while not great was agreeable. The characters just showed how poor the script was, there was no empathy or anything to make you give a damn about these people. There were a few decent one liners, though most dialogue falls flat on it's face, basically it wasn't funny, even the zombie fish were dumb. The direction in general was fine, there was nothing to make it stand out, or collapse. The character development was weak. The ending twist just sticks with the codes and conventions of zombie genre films and i mean the actual end. Though i did enjoy seeing that the protagonist was actually wrong about the whole thing, especially as he was a twat.

Overall, not a bad film, certainly one for zombie fans, though nothing
special or what it was hyped to be. In terms of technical value it's outstandingly well done and as for the genre ingenuity it's pretty good, but genre is nothing without script, and the script was just borrowed from other films. The film itself should have been 30 minutes shorter as pace did suffer. There are times when it seemed to try and be too big for it's shoes and most scenes are re-used, sadly. The fisherman was no Ash and the gore and violence pales in comparison to Braindead or Bad Taste. So to conclude, see Evil Dead or Braindead for A+ zombie films for fun, or see this, a less gratuitous zombie film with interesting mix of sci-fi and horror.

National Treasure (Jon Turteltaub, 2004)

http://images.killermovies.com/n/nat...ery/poster.jpg

Im sure most the American mo-fos will be more than familiar with this, as it was no1 at US box-office a while i believe. It's just come out in UK and well, i dont think its going to enjoy the same success. Based on the content, the film is very pro America, it almost revolves on America's history, which isn't per se a negative but when it comes across as a tour guide it starts to become weak. This idea could have been interesting for a non-american citizen but i found it to be advertorial.

Nic Cage gives a decent perfomance, not anything special mind. I enjoyed Sean Bean having a big role in the film and NOT dying, as he seems to in most films. Nic's side-kick just reminded of Blade's in his second outting and Dianne Kruger (Troy) started as an almost interesting character but quickly descended into the stereotypical role most women potray in action films. Harvey Keital was criminally underused as was Jon Voight. Both gave average performances.

This was a kids film and aimed at that audience, and when realised, the banner changed from Touchstone to Disney, which should give some clues to content. I could have enjoyed this more, and i think under the surface, there was a more mature film trying to get out. A slightly darker edge and more threat from an almost comical villian would have helped drastically. I did enjoy the FBI/Cage boat escape, set-up scene (trying not to give to much away).
A major cripe i have with the film is that it seemed to lack a beginning, going from early childhood introduction, straight into the middle of the film. This did leave me somewhat disorientated, which is never a good start. Also, during the opening scenes, there's is a massive character change, and devolpment just thrown in your face with no tact what-so-ever- it's not natural, blatantly scripted. The start packs in all the introductions and set-ups into an un-easy fitting package then twists them.

Although, after this and when the films is fully underway, there's a lot of enjoyment to be had. Cage has a lot of charisma and i think there was some nice pacing, no moment was dragged out, particualrly. The ending was a little confusing, and if i didnt get it fully, i have no idea how its young target audience would.
To be fair, this isnt a bad film, even for audiences outside of USA. Several improvements, like Cages irritating thought processes could have been altered. They could this another go, with more focus on Sean Bean's character and a more developed villian all round, also a lot more attention on the FBI and Keital. Of course, this would leave less time for the actual treasure hunting, but i prefer it like that, seeing as when they reach the conclusion, the treasure becomes somewhat irrelevant.

Basically, to make this better, Disney **** off. And in the beginning, when they're on the boat, instead of Cage and side-kick surviving, they should have died, this would follow with Sean Bean, being British and devastating America's history and being bad, with Keital in pursuit.

As it is-

See Indiana Jones trilogy instead

Thanks for the reviews Pyro, I won't be rushing out to see Undead :nope:

Not even to support your local industry?

Ummmm http://bestsmileys.com/thinking/1.gif

Star Wars Epidode 3: Revenge of the Sith (George Lucas, 2005)

http://fantasybedtimehour.com/episod...p3/tequila.jpg



Early note, i don't really understand the Star Wars political story, so the lack of plot i found in the early hours maybe due to this.

Basically, i appreciate what Lucas has done, and it does improve on aspects of Ep 1 & 2, and yes, the film is stunning to look at it- but that's about it.

The film begins with a huge space-fight. Ok, looks good, lots of ships, lots of action, though this sequence is set up only by the conventional introduction, which kinda left me to fill in the spaces, although i don't mind being active while watching a film, it did seem rather lazy and eager to show all it's cards in the opening moments. Anakin and Obi Wan are leading a rescue of Palpatine, this brings me to a question- why can't Hayden Christenson act? Lol, no. Why has Palpatine been captured? Maybe someone can answer me this. Perhaps it because the captures know only of him as a Sith Lord leader or it was to do with Anakin, but it's not explained. And the sequence is empty, i wasn't comfortable enough with the characters to care and the outcome was inevitable anyway.

And as i already mentioned it, the acting. It sucked. Anakin spends the whole film pouting like an angry teenager, hardly the solid Darth Vader. Sam Jackson (Mace Windu) got better after a shaky start and his showdown was possibly my favourite moment of the film. And not technically acting but Yoda, he was safe when he was a puppet, why couldn't he remain a puppet? Personally, its hard to emphasise with a green bit of cgi, Frank Oz also seemed to be lacking in the acting department. This brings me to another criticism, the lack of human actors- in particular Commander Cody, he's bloody cgi for most of his parts- what the hell's wrong with a real person? That really annoyed me, and the Wookies- i'm pretty sure they're all cg as well and why are they there? Their little narrative was poor and undeveloped, the only logic i could see was to use Chewbacca to link the III and IV for idiots and have another excuse for some action or the whole Episode VI ewoks thing. Also the new villian General Greivous, pointless. First of all- his cloak, what does he need to hide his indentity in case someone recognizes him or something? And why the **** does a robot have a cough- ok so he has some biological parts but he was just there, with bare relevance to the story and had no history or character to make him interesting in the slightest. Shoulda kept one of the few good actors- Christopher Lee to continue being the antagonist who instead was utterly wasted. And don't get me started on the banal dialogue:

Padme: " I wuv you wots and wots"
Anakin: " Padme, I wuv you more. you're purty"
Padme: " you wuv me"
Anakin: "I wuv you, you purty"
Blah blah blah....

And on a side note, Natalie Portman, fine specimen of a woman, looked terrible in this scene.

The thing with Ep 1 and 2 was they contained new and interesting narratives, which were able to develop characters. maybe there was a little too much of this and less action, but at least there were characters and there was a story. Sadly i felt this was lacking from 3. The first two hours were empty just a chance to show some fancy effects. It's only the towards the end they story emerges and I was given something to follow and engage with.

So I spent all this time complaining about the film, let me share some reason for seeing it- it is the final Episode (allegedly), the graphics are brilliant, despite being overused and Ian McDiarmid does a groovy job.

I don't aim to persuade you not see the film or to see it, as i'm sure you've decided already, or have seen it anyway. Just don't go praising it or comparing it to the originals. Yes, it has lots of action scenes, no Jar Jar Binks (bar one quick shot) and is more enjoyable then the prequels but that doesn't make it good. One can't complain for knowing what happens, who's going to die, who's going to live or the final conclusion, all I wanted was something with good acting, developed characters, strong sensical narrative, a 'darker' edge that doesn't just mean Anakin wears black (hey, look at that great hint- black costume, he's a baddie...duh). and kills some kids.
End of the day, want a film with good effects and good story see Lord of the Rings (especially as i'm sure Lucas ran out of ideas for an ending "hey that lord of the rings was successful, how did that end? huzzah- a volcano, that's where ours will end!") or just see the original 3. When Star Wars Epidode 3 ROTS (geddit'?) away and when the hype dies down, one can only pray producers will realise fancy effects alone don't make a film.

Undead is Australian, are you not also Australian?

I haven't seen Ep III, got no desire to. In fact, it took me until a few months ago to watch Ep II, which was one of the worst big budget films I've ever seen. ;)

Wolf Creek (Greg McLean, 2005)

http://sorenz.dk/Wolf%20creek%20poster.JPG


It's hard to watch this film and not be reminded of either The Hitcher or The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Wolf Creek takes from both these movies and fails to come up with anything other than a slightly unhinged Crocodile Dundee. Where the two aforementioned films succeed is with unrelenting pace, and intriguing villians. For a film that's trying to be nasty, the opening hour which is just a road trip is uneventful and does little to help. Character's aren't set up well, although that's clearly the intention, neither is the plot or menace, just some anectodes about alien abductions. Secondly, the villian, while he's played well, and pulls his role off, but there's no catch to his character, i'm not talking childhood trauma motives, just a bit more depth to his character.

The three backapckers are very uneven. Only one character seems real, the others are clearly scripted. One wakes to find herself trapped and tied, instead of screaming or being even a bit concerned she tries to escape, OK, but she then gives up though the 'key' was right in front of her the whole time. The Austrailian character runs into the Outback, he should know best that his chances of survival are slim. The one real character, despite shaky acting, shows the true horror of their predicament with manical giggling and screaming, very Marliyn Burns.

The film is shot with well and on HD, some of the ambient shots get a bit tiresome but it captures the emptiness of the outback well. It's certainly not an MTV horror movie, it's very gritty and revels in nastiness. Most is performed well, there's no major gore scenes, just a few moments of torture, which will make you feel uncomfortable. In fact, most the film will make you uncomfortable, it can get quite tense, not unbearably, but quite. It's good to see that the ending doesn't cop out, though it is 'based in true events'.

Overall the film takes to long getting of it's feet, with characters hard to believe in and subsequentially not care about. A romance is thrown in, though it's left totally unexpanded on. Some of the chases are tense and well shot, but it's not going to give you anything you havn't seen done better in other incarnations.



On a side note, if you approach it with a very open mind, and read into it, as i did, a little twist can be seen. I reckon that the killer was actually an alien, which explains some scenes from the film, especially as nothing says he can't be an alien. With that in mind, it gives the film some much needed depth.

Well, that's a load of bollocks which I haven't encountered since buying Prince's Lovesexy (yes, I was one of the few). And it's definately on the R2 disc too as I bought the thing in Tescos.

I've paid my money and I'll watch it how I darn well like...

Auteur! Auteur! (this should be in the complaining thread, I know :rolleyes: )

Yes but I don't have to like every Australian movie, i met a guy at a party years ago, he told me about this zombie movie he had written, and they were making it into a movie, this must be it :eek:

I wasn't sure if we were on the same page is all. Of course you don't have to like every Australian film. And wow, you know someone famous (ish)!

Well not really, I just met him at a party, yes I know someone famous(ish) :laugh:

who ever said that he didn't like star wars episode 3....i spit on your shoes....

Spit on mine then, big boy. They could do with a clean. :)

*spits on tacitus's shoes*....there.....

Ackkkk! I forgot I was wearing suede... :(

Get out of my thread boyo.

make me!

I don't remember a naked woman drinking a bottle of booze in starwars ;)
Lucas has gone to far with these special editions.

No, but it was the most interesting image Google offered :p

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

http://www.houseofhorrors.com/tcm2.jpg

Let me start by saying, don't compare this to the original too closely (although i will) in terms of it's overall low budget and dark tone. With that out the way you can start enjoying this comedy horror film. It's great to see a director take a sequel in a completely different direction to the original and create a fresh piece. The story is minimal, radio host hears some young idiots get killed and rumbles the police cover up of the chainsaw family's killing. Her only support is unhinged Dennis Hopper out for revenge.

Leatherface returns only plays for laughs over scares, as does the Hitcher's replacement Chop Top. The opening car scene is a great start and puts in the gore people didn't see in the first and marks a good use of the obviously increased budget. The radio host- Stretch starts to becomes a pain in the ass after a while and Hopper, while cool, really needed more screentime over her. She really didn't convince at all, her screaming began to grind but she had a great set of legs. On the brightside, the chainsaw family, despite somewhat small considering all work well individually though not so much as a whole.

There aren't many deaths but it has a wicked sense of humour including Stretch wearing her partners face while he stumbles around after being skinned alive. The main problem is it falls into repeating the original including the Grandpa scene which shouldn't have been there at all since it's a total rehash of the originals. As it descended into a long chase, i lost interest but i still enjoyed the rest. Any film with a chainsaw fight gets my vote, let alone a double chainsaw fight. It doesn't stand out against other horror films from the time but gets my recommendation if only for prooving sequels don't have to suck.

Sha Po Lang

http://www.video.martialarts.ru/release/spl/sposter.jpg

Kind of like a cross between Infernal Affairs and The Untouchbles with a bit of kung fu though this story is given little time to develop or even really get explained. The cops are trying to take down criminal kingpin Sammo Hung by framing him for crimes, though he always escapes. Donnie Yen is set to take over the case and lead the rest of the team however the team have stolen some money unknown to their boss, which leads Sammo to hunt them down.

A lot of the film is jumbled up and too concerned with its internal logic and little time for character or plot development is given. Much of the beginning is ridiculously melodramatic so it's not until the first outbreak of violence that i paid much attention. Considering the cast, i was hoping for a lot more action instead it's more scenes of nothingness. The final showdowns with Donnie Yen do have ****ing amazing choreography, are shot really well and are certainly worth watching the rest of it for. However the police story really is nothing compared to a film like Infernal Affairs which has great pacing and characters, something SPL really needed to make half decent.

http://www.twitchfilm.net/pics/Sha_Po_Lang_TIFF.jpg

The film has a nice polished look and good atmosphere with sprinkles of dark irony. It's interesting to see the corrupt cop's justify their actions though as said, there's a lot of jumbling to really get a clear idea of what's happening. The lack of action scenes were a bit disappointing since there wasn't much else merit to be found in the film and the martial artists aren't exactly great actors. Sammo does own his role, mainly by brooding, which is about the only other good thing other than the fights. Basically something to watch when you've seen everything else in the police genre or if you're a Sammo or Yen fan because you'll definately get a kick out of the (few) awesome fights.

Good review of SPL. You had pretty much all the same complaints as I did.

And was it just me, or did the entire subplot of the cops stealing the money come out of nowhere? I wasn't sure if I had left the room or dozed off or something, but all of sudden the plot became about the stolen money and I missed that transition entirely.

But man, I loved the scene with them all in the station on Father's day and the stories of what they were missing out on. It was a tad melodramatic, but I thought that scene had a ton of potential to actually fill out a better movie on its own.

Yeah, the plot was all over the place, definitely could have been a much better film.

Peep Show

http://www.channel4sales.com/program.../peep-show.jpg

This is possibly my favourite comedy TV show ever, Friday nights out are based around staying in and watching it, it's that good. Set around the lives of two loosers, hard working Mark and lay about Jeremy. It takes a unique perspective, shot entirely with point of view shots, it's a bit of an obstacle at first but it works. It's quite weird when characters kiss but the best bit is hearing their innner thoughts, which are stupidly cringe worthy, dirty and often completely contradict the conversations.

Mark: [thinks] If he hangs himself over this I can stick an orange in his mouth and call it a fatal wanking accident.

The show's only enjoyed three series and is apparently being axed, which is a shame since it's never stopped being funny. Most episodes involve Mark trying to get with his work mate Sophie and Jez doing drugs with Super Hans. It shows quite a few real inner male thoughts, and the POV shots glimpsing at cleavage give a perspective on men's dirtiest nature and desperation. And it is ****ing hilarious. I'm not doing it justice here as it probably sounds like a male pervert show, and maybe it is but it certainly appeals to me and my peers (inc girls).

One thing i like about it is the lack of canned laughter, it relies on awkward laughter, random humour and sex gags. Most jokes really stem from the characters idiocy and embarassment. Some favourite moments are Mark falling in love with a guy and trying to decide if he's gay and one where Mark follows a student to her Uni. There's a lot of dirty jokes, so definitely NOT suitable for easily offended people, another reason why it's a popular student comedy. Here's a funny excerpt which pretty much summarises the humour :

Jeremy: [masturbating while looking at a "Fantasy Figure Modeller" magazine]
[thinks] I'm a dirty hobbit and she's a sexy elf so she might be... "Oh! You dirty hobbit. Take off my bodkin and my jerkin." "Oh, yeah... pixie ears. But that sword." What if she was a hobbit slayer? I'd just use my enchanted amulet. "Yeah. Yield to me, hobbit-slayer. You will touch my magic cock."

Obviously, that's not very funny to read, but when you watch it, damn it is.

On the out it's a really simple premise but never fails to make me laugh. If any of you American MoFos are slightly interested in a totally different comedy show, i really recommend hunting the DVDs down.

Lucky Number Slevin

http://www.ioncinema.com/beta/images...2979poster.jpg

A case of mistaken indentity leads Josh Hartnett's Slevin to be at the will of two rival mobsters, The Boss and The Rabbi (Morgan Freeman and Ben Kingsley). Along the way a romance with Lucy Liu blooms and an assassin, Good Cat (Bruce Willis) kills a few people.

The premise is fun and is well delivered for a time, ultimately you know the film's leading to some sort of twist and when this come the pace certainly slackens. Josh Hartnett really suprised me, i actually enjoyed his charismatic and laid back peformance. That is until his character became lost in the script. The eventual twist seemed over estimated, it was relatively simple, and i'd pretty much sussed it from the beginning but it was totally overplayed with unecessary flashbacks and time devoted to explaining it. Any opportunity to think was distinguished when they hand the twist to you on a plate.

The direction is smooth throughout though i was expecting more of an action film than a thriller. It's quite a short story, never really lifts it's feet, which helps keep focus though reduces it to a story hard really entertain on the level of say Usual Suspects. On the brightside, it's not pretentious. It has a dark edge and some good humour which had me laughing. The most annoying part was the romance and it's weak cliche finale, if they kept the shock twist of it, i would have rated this a lot higher instead they opt out for a happy ending.

Despite some downfalling towards the end, the rest is enjoyable. You really ride along with Slevin and his character is well writen. The biggest downfall though, is the somewhat undeveloped romance with Lucy Liu which really should have been cut or expanded on, to make it worthwhile. All the perfomances are spot on, Kingsley was slightly under used appearing in less than a handful of scenes. Overall the film is enjoyable to the end, pace needed tightening, probably more of a rental than something to rush out to see but all the same a fun film with some good acting from ensemble cast.

Wtf? My thread's been moved.


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children


This review is coming from a player of the original PlayStation Final Fantasy VII and i'd imagine the main people who would watch this also played the game. It's hard to watch imagine the reaction a non player would have to the film but i know they wouldn't enjoy it as much.


The plot is pretty poor to be honest, especially on first viewing, some new characters are trying to acquire the head of their Mother (Jenova). As far as i can work out, these villians are fragments of the will of the games villian, Sephiroth. The villains kidnap children who are infected with a disease, after the events of the game, and control them, as they all share infected Lifeblood (basically, Mother Nature), with plans to strike back at the Planet for infecting them . Cloud comes to the rescue and basically kicks ass.

All the characters from the game make an appearance though it's only Cloud and Tifa who really get any worthwhile screentime. Unfortunately, there is no character development or interaction, i was expecting the romance from the game to be at least hinted on. When the rest of the cast appear to fight a huge monster, it's a sweet feeling seeing them again, though this is followed by disappointment as this is all we get to see of them. Strangely Reno and the Turks, minor characters get more screentime than the characters loved the most in the game. Though, considering that the last hour of the 100 minute film is just amazing fights, I was still happy since it keeps the fights simple and fun.

As a film, it's possibly one of the best CGI films i've ever seen. The graphics are detailed and sharp, plus the direction is fluid and the action scenes move with the great pace and control. Also, an aspect i hardly notice in many films, the soundtrack totally complimented the film in every instance. It gave it a pump, that just made the fights so very cool. Apparently they're versions of the games tunes but i didn't recognize them.


There's lots here for the fans. Materia makes a brief appearance, mainly Bahamut is summoned which leads to the big city battle and the character reunion. Cloud uses Limit Breaks. Even a tune from the game is used as a mobile ringtone, which was used a nice joke. The characters all look better on this form, Tifa was slightly objectified in a typical anime way, erect nipples, short skirt but damn, she looked fine.

The film is extremely enjoyable, i watched it twice within hours. The fight scenes, which ARE what the film is about, are all excellent, exhilarating and fun and for this the poor plot and bad character direction is almost excusable. The other major gripe was the fact the game's main characters only really had cameos, though after spending time with them in the game, the new and less used characters are refreshing and good to watch. And for fans yet to see this (((SPOILER: Sephiroth does make a return for the final showdown, as does Aerith.




Not sure how this will fare with non game players, either way it's got great visuals and some amazing action scenes and most fans are bound to enjoy it regardless of downfalls. It didn't disappoint.

Yea, playing the games will just enhance your enjoyment of Advent Children.

Pirates of the Carribean 2- Dead Man's Chest

(spoilers)

I'll open and admit i went in with low expectations, after the great original which i feel was the crucial point in creating Depp's fanbase, i could only get the vibe that this sequel would be used as a Depp vehicle. With sequels like this you need to strike the right balance with the original in terms of plot and characters. There needs to be enough of both in the sequel as there was in the original and not let the predecessor's work carry the follower. Sadly this balance was way off here. With no flashbacks, it's essential to watch the original to understand the characters at all.

Will and Elizabeth are the weakest aspects by far, their relationship is not shown or developed bar a few scenes with awkward dialogue, just carried off the back of the original. I've never been convinced by Bloom, i think he managed in LoTR but except for that i've never liked him, and he's just as bad in this Pirates as the last but at least he's consistant, if poorly written. Knightley does look fit but her character is all over the shop, i think she loves Will and Jack then likes Jack then she kills Jack, none if it ever convinces or settles. Plus transport really is a doddle, somehow she can travel the world and find Jack while only having to worry about being female. Newcomer Bill Nighy does impress, his character is sick to look at it and, well, just a good visuals though him and his crew felt like a knock-off from the firsts. A lot of the cast return, Macenzie Crook and Davenport (<Norrington, best character) were the best; their characters are actually interesting and developed from the originals where as Pryce is pretty inconsequential popping up now and then. As for Depp, he delivers as expected, and well, adds nothing new except a few poorly explained character turns. A lot of his dialogue uses the same tricks as before and becomes tiresome after 3 times but he does carry the film and all the other characters manage to fit in around him.

As for the plot it flaps around like a fish out of water, the whole Island cannibal section (Kong, anyone?) came far too early, the plot had yet to gain any momentum and they take a detour already which delays much of the film. As soon as anything relevant starts happening and it goes where we want it to, it ends. Plenty of this film needs cutting down though with such a one note plot (find a chest, free his soul) there'd be nothing left. From its ending, this should have been one film (with the 3rd). The wheel scene with the threeway sword fight was really fun at first yet again, they drag it out till its boring and sadly this is about the only bit of actual action in the film. It's all chatting and running and chatting and a squid.

Luckily, the set design and cinematography are amazing, they capture a real feeling and tone which does allow you to stop thinking about why nothing interestings happening and feed your eyes. The CGI is also really well done, it reminded me of War of the Worlds where most the obvious CGi is put to background, behind smoke or in distance and these parts work and as said, it looks great, though it's not all seemless. Squidey's crew are all 'imaginative' but often hit and miss and empty.

Pirates 2 isn't very good. It's plot has trouble carrying the film and even more trouble carrying the characters. Depp's performance, which i'm sure was what the film's marketted on was fine, though not as remarkable as the first. The only thing i can really recommend this for is the visuals. With so much meandering and dragging, until seeing the 3rd i'd probably skip this one and wait. Then at least there might be some closure since there's NONE here.

Perfect review. I agree with you 100%. I really did expect more from it than what I got.

Thanks Pyro :( I was hoping it would be good :(

I thought it was great. Maybe I went into the theatre thinking differently about it though. I was looking for a fun film that reminds me just how fun movies can be. I wasn't looking for the sweeping epic of Lord of the Rings. I wasn't looking for the perfect acting of Forrest Gump or Rainman. I wasn't looking for the personal drama which is what too many people seem to care about these days.

I was looking to go into the theatre, watch some great action scenes, have a few laughs while sipping on an overpriced Coke while I ate my over-priced popcorn. And I got that indeed.

I loved the spinning wheel fight scene, no matter how fake or impossible it seemed. I loved the cannibal scene, it was some good action and worth a few laughs...plus the eye make-up looked awesome. I actually jumped the first time the camoflauged cannibal jumps out at Will.

I like the little love triangle that's going on between Liz/Will/Jack...of course this isn't gonna be some crazy Best Picture epic drama, but I could care less. It was a merry-old time watching this movie, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

I'm with all of you. The expectations for the film, for many people were very high - we all knew Depp would be brilliant, Knightly would be the pretty face (although there are a few good but fleeting moments) and Bloom would be Bloom, he wasn't as bad as he could have been, and on the whole I thought his characters story line was the better of all of them. The return of Norrington was a little unexpected - I knew the Character was in the film, but didn't know what they were going to do with him.

Unfortunaly this is a "sequal" and fits that brand very well - its launches head first into the new story with next to no references to the 1st movie, which could be seen as both a positive or negative depending on if you prefer to et bogged down in past events or not. And even though it goes for over 2 1/2 hours - it doesn't really get anywhere in that time, but ends rather abruptly. When it reached the final scene and then suddenly went to Credits - the entire cinema cried out in desperation at the dreaded cliffhanger ending.

The re-occuring jokes - the wooden eye, the rum etc were familiar, although not over done in my opinion - they could easily have over used some of the old jokes, luckily they havent. CGI again plays a large role, of course. And the Pirate Ships are wonderful - the Flying Dutchman is fantastic with all its barnicals and seaweed.

However, having said that, I did enjoy the film, the 3-way fight was very cleverly done, the fight in Tortuga and Jack escaping the cannibals (the fruit!) are definatly highlights.

The whole cannibal scene annoyed the heck out of me, as i said, it was a major detour from any actual narrative, though considering there wasn't really a narrative anyway, suppose it's a moot point.