"I've Really Lived."
 

Last evening, l met a coworker for a quick drink and she had just left to meet up with her kidlings... The woman to my left was a lady I've seen there many times, named Flo. She's always perched atop the stool at the end of the bar, hair perky, lipstick on straight and showing a tasteful hint of cleaveage.

We struck up a conversation and she told me that she likes to sit at the end of the bar there, because she makes a point of cheering on the musicians. She had been a fan of the Big Band musicians... saw Frank Sinatra when he performed with the Tommy Dorsey band, and listed a bunch of others. When she mentioned the big band, I thought she was stretching it a bit, but she told me she had recently turned 83.

Flo told me about her life a bit - how, after her husband died, she took a lover who was the same age as her youngest son... (I wanted to ^5 her, but she'd also mentioned arthritis...) and some of the places she's lived. She said with a smile, "I've really lived." And she convinced me. I only hope to be able to say the same, should I live to be 83.

So my question to you is: what do you want to be able to say you did, when you're Flo's age? What would you like to look back on and say, "I did that with my life, and it was worth the time"?

I'd really like to be able to say I've been to the moon and back.

I think I'll have a drink to Flo right now.

Though I don't know what my purpose would be to go that far in life.

My whole life is ahead of me. I'll take it one little step at a time to see where it leads me.

I'd like to look back and say I was truly happy at that moment and during my life and that I made a difference to a lot of other people's lives; I thought I would be happy making a lot of money or having a successful job, but I've found that you're happiest when you find something you really care about (can be work) and enthrall yourself in it. Whether it's a partner, a sport, a job, a group of friends or even a fun hobby (like watching movies). These sorts of things make my life enjoyable.

Being able to help people with emotional and physical problems that they cannot overcome alone is really rewarding for me as well and when it's all over I want to be able to say that I could help a lot of people live their lives in a fulfilling way and that would be enough to have fulfilled mine. Then I will have really lived.

Maybe that was a bit too serious, oh well I'm in a serious mood.

I guess i'd just like to end it without any regrets. i want to have done everything i could have, and never chickened out of anything

Like you, I'm a lot more concerned about the things I'll regret having missed, rather than any small regret over things I might do.

right now i am just content to live life from one day to the next..whatever mistakes i made are in the past, so i concentrate on the future and living life to the fullest...that's all folks....

I love little moments like that Sammy, its so nice talking to random poeple sometimes and just being so suprised with what comes out of their mouth. Never judge a book by its cover etc etc i guess.

I think im quite an ambitious person. And quite a hopeful person. So i think when im 83, if i could say i have achieved most of my ambitions, and some of my biggest hopes have been realised, then that will do me just fine, and i would be happy to sit in a bar for my last years, flashing my cleavage at the house band :yup:

I just want to take it one day at a time and try not to reject any big stuff. I mean I would love to be rich but I think even if I live in a little house next to the freeway, I wouldn't care as long as I did something I love for a living.

Huh? "Taking a lover" the age of your kid is "really living"? To me it'd be things like traveling the world, having children, and learning to play the piano for no particular reason. But I guess I'm weird like that.

I think Sammy's point is that it seemed the old woman she was speaking to, feels that she has really lived becuase she has done what she really wanted to do, no regrets etc.

Given that she said she wanted to high-five her in response, I'm guessing Sam's point was probably not as abstract as you suggest.

Regardless, I'd also take issue with the idea that "really living" means doing whatever you feel like doing, rather than a blend of doing what you want and doing something meaningful.

Exactly, blibby.
I don't imagine Flo's life is for everyone, but she made me wonder what I might do with my life that would put that sparkle in my eye when I think back on my time.

I want to see the world, particularly Greece, England, Italy.
I want to stay (or get!) intellectually on the ball. I got really bogged down for awhile there, and it feels good to be able to say what I'm thinking, and think about fun things.
I want to pet a tiger or lion or one of those big cats.
I want to write a book that is worth reading - something with literary value.
I want to learn tai chi.
I want to teach my neice about acting. At 2 years old, she's already showing a clear proclivity for it.
I want to own a Jaguar, preferably convertable, at some point in my life.
I want to experience true love.
I want to be a super-hero. :D

Whatever works for you, mister. :) :up:

Well, i would have high-fived her too, for doing what she wanted, and shagging someone a third of her age :yup:
Its always a good idea to put at least one thing on your list that you know will definatly happen.

God love ya for understanding, blib. :kiss:

This got me thinking (I'm going to see my gran tomorrow, who turns 90 in a few days time) and I guess that I'd want to say -

I built my own house. (sounds weird but I never used bricks and mortar until I built my fireplace a few months back, and it was kinda good ;) )

I was financially secure when I could still walk so that I could retire without worrying about the future. (those who know me....ermm...know what I'm on about)

..and most importantly -

My son was proud enough to call me 'Dad'. (he ain't right now)

Uh huh. Excuse me while I go elope with the 7-year old next door.

Indeed. I think most people have two such lists. There's dreams, and then there's goals, and it's really something special when the two overlap.

Thats the spirit!

a girl askes her BF, "honey, are you a pedofile?"

"that's and awfully big word for a seven year old"

wow... uhm... I salute your honesty.

This is just some odd coincidence but right now I am listening to some Homestar Runner clip: "Everybody knows it, everybody knows it. Everybody knows it's true. Oh yeah, you gotta do the best you can and work out twice a day. Don't ask me why I said it, because I already forgot."

I tend to agree with Yoda's reasoning on life goals, but I see how Flo's way of life isn't for everybody. I do toast her for her spunk however, I must confess that I can hardly see myself in a bar flashing the band. Oh well, they'll live.

By the time I am 83 I would like to have accomplished many things of course, but it would give me equal or even more joy if I was still accomplishing things. My biggest goal in life is to learn things, even though I've already learned the most important thing: that you can't learn everything. I was browsing the new page and I came across this article with Lindsay Lohan who said that the she doesn't want to go to college becuase it is just a place for people to figure out what they are doing in life, and she already knows. Whoopdy doo for her--but I have a fairly certain guess about what I want to do in life as well, and it involves college, many years in fact.

I would be able to say I really lived if I had a family. I have nothing against the way my parents brought me (Ok-are bringing me) up, but I don't wish it upon my own children. I want them to be bilingual and travel with them and give them an excitement to learn, which sadly was only given to me and my youngest brother due to personalities. That prehaps might be the biggest thing, but there are many little things as well.

-I want to tour the whole entire east coast, visiting all the sights and the just breathing in the history.

-I want to amass a huge book collection, I mean huge. The sort where you have a large room filled with floor to ceiling bookcases.

-I want to go on an archeological dig, somewhere in South America or Egypt (Cliche, I know).

-I want to be able to watch my next oldest brother perform in Carnegie Hall (which may soon happen), my middle brother become a professional athlete (Baseball, Soccer, track) and my youngest brother go to the Olympics for track. This isn't some disillusionment as a proud sister, I am fully aware that my brothers are some of the best at wha they do, not exactly progidies, but in their own special way extraordinarily gifted.

-I want to be able to buy my dad a Porsche. He has always wanted one and jokes about me getting him one all the time. It would be fun to surprise him.

-I would like to see my mother publish many books, no matter how long it takes her to write them.

-I think it would be cool to become a professor or go to law school and work for some non-profit organization.

Those last things don't need to happen to say that I've really lived, but it is the feelings that are attatched to them that I want to live out.

I have quite a few regrets already, at the age of 25. But I have also accomplished some incredible things. By the time I am 80, I want to look back and say "What a fnckiu ride!!!" Have all my dreams completed and rest for the last years of my life; reflect on how great of a Psychologist I was and how many people I helped. I hope to have children and they grow up to be decent and hard working like I strive to be.